thiirsday, mcrch 17, 1977
psga4
daily nebrsskan
Studsnts work ag
ams
1 each other
Calling ASUN a government almost seems to be
a misnomer. The tangled web of student govern
ment, Student Court, appointed boards and coun
cils has entangled its spiders leaving them power
less and inactive. The student government system
is a travesty of the democracy it purports to be.
Student Court waits until the night before
ASUN elections to rule on alleged illegal actions
that have plagued the Senate all semester. Then,
"when the court justices get together they decide
not to decide. They need more time to ungarble
"the mess," as justice Don Wesely described it.
Instead of following the court's action, or in
action, ASUN President Bill Mueller tries to pro
ceed with the elections. Being held in contempt
of the court, by proceeding with the elections,
does not bother him. -
However, his whims were blocked. Election
commissioners were meeting at 2 a.m. There were
rumors of the Council on Student Life meeting
at 4 a.m.
And behind it all the mysterious Greek slate
operates. The machine that controlled last year's
letters
Trenchcoat potties
In view of recent-SECRET happenings on this illus
trious campus concerning the esteemed ASUN elections,
we have decided to form our own SECRET organization
- the WSOICOSOCIMOSPIBGI. Or, "The Women's
Secret Organization to Investigate Certain Others Secret
Organizations on Campus Involving Certain Illustrious
Student Members of Our Student Population Including
Both Greeks and Independents". We will be SECRETLY
meeting every Tuesday night (which is mid -way between
Monday and Wednesday hint, hint.), at Horsefeathers,
under the tables, in trenchcoats, dark glasses and Groao
elections and crippled this year's Senate rises for
an encore.
It is impossible for any student government to
work when students constantly work against each
other.
Student Court is pitted against ASUN. Greeks
work against other Greeks, as well as themselves.
Delaying the ASUN elections will cost about
$900 in new ballots, new signs and new adver-,
tising. This might be the time to ask if it's all
worth it.
Student Court is to be criticized for not taking
swifter action on the suit to abolish ASUN. Any
momentum that the campaign had gained in the
past few weeks will be lost by the time spring
break is over.
It is during such periods of low morale that
powerful groups sweep in to gain control. Maybe
Spring Break will offer students the breath of
fresh air they need for the final round.
But maybe fresh air is the whole problem.
After all, who can think of classes, government
and politics when everyone is playing tennis and
riding bikes?
Marx disguises.
If the SECRET Greek and Independent organizations
think they can play Spy Games, so do we. Only we can
play them better because we have a better lead -Gary
Abel's infamous remark, "Wow! Sixteen? Whoops."
So if you have any information on these SECRET
organizations, please slip it to any trenchcoated, Groucho
Marx'd woman who is slinking around campus looking
under every TNE'd , Raction'd, or MECA'd rock on cam
pus. '
We are bored with the manipulative antics of all in
volved. Next year, let's try an election based on the issues,
without the games. Or we may pull a Woodward and
Bernstein Trick and Expose the Spies.
Very Secretly Yours,
Matahari Joan Bond
Agent 99 Nancy Drew ;: '""""
Wonder Woman Bionic Woman
Maxine Smart Charlie's Angels
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A Villi A
Arthur Hso
Carter on sex, diapers
highlight tonight's news
"Good evening. This is the six o'clock Nightly News
with Barbara Chancellor in New York and Harry Cronkite
in Washington. Barbara?"
"Good evening. President Carter took an interesting
stand on sex today. For that story, here is Richard C.
Levine at the U.S. Bureau of Mines."
"Thank you, Barbara. In a get-acquainted session in the
cafeteria here today, the President told more than 500
Bureau employees that if they were over 45, they should
engage in sex no more than once a week and only with
their spouses. He warned that middle-aged males were
six times more prone to heart attacks when having
amorous .dalliances with -younger women than if they
were - and I quote - 'safe at home' with their wives.
Harry?"
"Thank you, Richard. Earlier today, the President
spent 30 minutes answering the switchboard at 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue. For that story, let's go to Irving R.
Mudd at the White House. Irving?"
innocent bystander
"Thank you, Harry. In his continuing effort to keep in
touch with the people, Mr. Carter donned a headset,
plugged into a caller and said, White House, Jimmy Carter
speaking.' Unfortunately, the caller refused to believe he
was talking to the President and after half an hour the two
men wound up shouting at each other. Barbara?" , . ,
Caller doing well
"Thank you Irving. That caller, by the way, has now
been identified as Milton N. Haberdash of Heasantville,
Illinois. Doctors at the Samaritan Hospital there say he is
doing very well after suffering what they described as a
rnild heart attack.' Harry?"
"Thank you, Barbara. The President also found time
today to deliver his economic message to Congress. He
made the walk down Pennsylvania Avenue to Capitol Hill
and back in a record-breaking 42 minutes, 12 and two
tenths seconds. After that, he set another historic first.
Catherine Hottelet has that story."
Changing diapers
"Thank you, Harry. Mr. Carter today became the first
President to change a baby's diaper in the Lincoln
Bedroom on television. The subject was his new grandson,
James Earl Carter IV. The President said he "really
enjoyed' the experience. Barbara?" .
"Thank you, Cassie. But Jimmy Carter wasn't the only
one in the news today. Amy Carter received a B-plus in
her social studies class and Billy Carter had an important
announcement. Here's Bernard Kuralt in Plains."
' "Thank you, Barbara. Billy Carter disclosed through
his agent today that he will star as a simple, homespun,
gas station attendant in a Broadway musical he is
financing called, T Never Promised You a Beer Garden.'
Harry?"
"Thank you, Bernie. And lastly, here's a comment
from David Severeid. David?"
"Thank you, Harry. I think we must all realize that
the President bean an awesome responsibility and only
time will tell. Barbara?"
"Thank you, David. This has been the Nightly News
from around the world. Thank you for watching."
(Copyright Chronek PubsiiJiircg Co. 1277)
Not' all freshmen, freshwomen are freshpersons
Begimers. It seems unbelievable, but a clipping from a
university student newspaper sent this way by Marion
C. Friedman of Philadelphia speaks twice, quite seriously,
of first-year students as freshpersons. "Not all freshmen or
freshwomen are freshpersons, " she writes. "Some of them
are very courteous young people." Bet they can't wait to
become sophomores at that university.
Curent cent A relatively new piece of jargon has
caught on in the fashion industry: It is the word knockoff,
which means a copy or reproduction of a design or
material displayed by an expensive fashion house. The
bernstein on words
idea, of course, is to nuke money by selling the pilfered
fehioa at a far lower price than that charged by the
originator. Ha jargon word is a coon, which' might be
used this way: "The scarves on sale at the Big Store
are a knockoff. " -
:;:.
Myself. The use of tnysdf for or me is without
question broader than it should be, but I am not sure it
is becoming more and more common, as June Gosjlan of
Aurora, Iowa, sys it is in a letter sent this way. Cut she
is correct in dcrlcrir? such phrases as "on behalf of my
staff ar.J rtys2f and "between Gladys and myself. "
- Undoubtedly these colloquial uses of myself originate
in a timidity about when it is proper to use and when it
is proper to use me.- The self words are best used for two
purposes: for emphasis, as in, "The guests enjoyed my
cooking and I must say I enjoyed it myself" and for
reflexive purposes: "She dressed Arodquickly."
Crazy word. "It may be, a recent article said, "that
drivers will be going bonkers when they realize that it will
take two more years to complete rebuilding of a mile of
this highway." The word bonkers, meaning mad, crazy,
was originally British naval slang dating back to the 1920s,
but it crossed the Atlantic to this side and came into fairly
wide use early in this decade. It is almost always used in
the phrase go bonkers. Nope, no connection with
Yonkers.
Diction-cry. A reader, John J. Harris of Kenner, Ix,
asls me to "go to work cn the misuse of the word
diction. " "It is widely misused, he goes on, "in that it is
generty called upon to suggest excellence of speech,
particulate m such areas as enunciation, pronunciation
and accent. A person's diction is his effectiveness or
ineffectiveness in selecting words to express his thou-ts
either in writing or speaking. I'm afraid I shall hare to
trg off going to work on the job outlined by Mr. Harris.
The employment of diction to mean manner cf utter
ing words, pronunciation, enunciation is not a misuse of
the word. Diction has two meanings. The first one is the
manner cf expression or effective selection of words. The
second one his to do with elocution or enunciation and it
is not a new meaning; it has been in existence since the
middle of the 18th Century, according to the big Oxford
dictionary. The anti-semdnraeaning school is quite wide
spread, but how and why it came into being is a mystery.
A
Word oddities. Skillful in the use of both hands is
called ambidextrous. But what is the word for skillful in
the use of both feet? That is what Phillip Brick of Marion,
Ark., was searching for.
He was working on a paper on soccer and needed such
a word. He tried dictionaries, professors and a podiatrist
and got nowhere. So he decided to check his Latin roots
and invent a word. What he came up with is enbipeddi
trous. which he says he has checked out in accordance
with Latin. I can't quite see a sports writer using that
word in reporting a soccer game, but what else is there?
Something like 'bipedaUty perhaps. Cut I would vote
for Mr. Brick's word in such a contest.
ICJ t377 Theodora ti. Esrisgtsia
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