pegs 4
third dimension
tuesday, march 15, 1977
O n O
V n (o
r ,;. .U 4? i
r
. , -
V7o)
n mi
ltlMl
o
o
Jra
j
j
n o
gjK U U
I - J
-J
Editors note : The following story was written by an
18-y ear-old woman who spent a lengthy time at the
Jennie B. Barrel Attention Center for Youth which
opened in January 1976. It is a first-person account of
that stay and an inside look at Nebraska's juvenile court
system and legal process. The young woman has since
been granted probation.
Last October 76 1 got busted for burglary and was
taken down to the county jail until I hadmy arraignment
two days later. They set bond and took me out to the
Juvenile Attention Center where I stayed until Jan. 21
waiting for the courts.
I went through county court to try to get the adult
charges (changed) to a juvenile charge-which proved
useless.
While out at the attention center I went through a lot
of changes. I knew I'd be incarcerated for a while so I
sat back. . .thinking about my state of mind.
First, I decided that I would ignore everyone except
for the people that I thought were on the same level that
I was. You know, had my same viewpoints about things.
Naturally there weren't many people that could or wanted
to comprehend things that I was saying. I was alone in
the way that I couldn't understand why people couldn't
understand me.
"When I was on the outs I never had
any need think about things like
attitude"
Then after awhile of doing nothing but reading and
watching TV I realized that if people couldn't understand
what I was saying I'd try to listen to what they were
saying. Either way it was totally one-sided. Or I was being
selfish sitting around and being depressed. Just feeling
sorry for myself wasn't too good for me.
I soon realized after that, that you can have your own
choice of attitudes. You can be any way you want. It's
not different than being on the outside. But when I was
on the outs I never had any need to think about things
like attitudes. I had them or I didn't. Everything was de
pressing until I got to the point of knowing that I did have
a choice. I started being real optimistic and I was 100
per cent happier.
It was a good thing that I relized it there. On the outs I
had 17 years to figure it out but I never did. It helped me
to relate to everyone a whole lot better.
Meanwhile, I was still going to court and they denied
the motion for it to be put back into juvenile court. It
was bound to District Court One. On the first day of -appearance
my lawyer was going to put up another
motion for it to be put back in juvenile court and all I
had to do was stand there and not say anything. Men I
go to court I usually get pretty nervous. (I mean I'd
never been to criminal court before and it freaked me
out. I really couldn't believe it!) So usually I have hard
candy to chew on and right when I was called up I had
just stuck a new piece of candy in my mouth. Then the
judge, to my surprise, asked me my age and I answered in
a sort of garbled (voice), "17." He then asks me to empty
my mouth and I did with a smile on my face. I mean it
was kind of humorous. So then he gets all hot and asks
me what's so funny and all I could do was laguh. Judge's
are people too, right. They must have a sense of humor
somewhere. That upset him and with the advise from my
lawyer I was going to plead not guilty to this judge so
that trial would be set in January.
The courts at the end of every year change all the
judges around to different courts. So in the early part of
January I went up to the same courtroom to plead guilty
in front of a different judge. Hopefully a nice and lenient
one. ..
Then (there is) pre-sentence investigation which is
supposed to last four weeks. I was still at the juvenile
home but my 18th birthday was getting closer and when
it did come in late January, they brought me down to the
county jail-to wait some more. Being down at county
jail is such a contrast to the juvenile home.
Out at the juvenile home you are being put into a more
perplexing position of dealing with the other residents.
It's constantly changing. The kids are all on these higher
and lower levels of their individual brain thoughts. It's
strange. It turns into this thing about how strong your
state of mind is. You've got to realize and understand
your own philosophies and try to live by them or you'll
literally go crazy trying to understand things that aren't
on your level of understanding.
Many of the kids you come into contact with while
you're out at the juvenile home are in a frequently un
controlled and ever changing emotional state and seem
unthinking. To others-observing their emotional response
(it) is consistently bewfldering-half the kids don't know
their own minds and therefore it makes it extremely dif
ficult to relate to them. It starts getting to the point
where they're not the same people you spoke to a few
hours back. If you sit back and start thinking about what
they're doing it'll weird you but simply because it's not
on your level to understand. You'll leam soon enough to
not dwell on things, kids, or staff who aren't worth it.
The staff become a totally different situation. Most of
"Judges are people, too right? They
must have a sense of humor
somewhere
the interactions that you have with the staff are shallow
and superficial. It's possible to have a friend who is on
staff, though the staff (members) are not meant to be any
thing more than that. You start coming into difficulties
with this, solely because residents can't understand that
staff is people too. And the kids aren't their whole life.
It's a job.
Then some of the staff think being in there is nothing
but a joke. And evidently you're going to run into
problems because they won't take any of the kids
seriously. They don't feel obligated to do anything in
terms of helping their emotional situation. The kids are .
lumped together into a whole without any individual char
acteristics that can be seen as long as the kids are.seen as a
whole. They're still under age, but juveniles have "rights.
" I mm
"Down at the jail it's so confining. I
didn't do much of anything but
sleep and dream of getting out."
And so does everyone else. But the juveniles get run over
by somebody elses' rule. - ;
Down at the jail it's so confining. I didn't do much of
anything but sleep and dream of getting out.
Either one of these places isn't any different concern
ing the personal contacts than is a job or school where
you see the same people everyday. Except for the fact
that everything is so intense-constant pressure that usual
ly isn't experienced. I try to put myself into a high level
of oblivion. Even if you do care about someone or some
thing in the situation it's better not to worry about it.
People are people. You can't change them but you can
have fun with them under any circumstances. It's a chal
lenge when you're locked up to be a happy person and
think of everything for the better and not take too much
seriously. Q
."
Youths at Jennie B. Ilarrell attention center get daily
exercise by using punching bag and playing indoor
basketball.
