fe mo s
Y V.
By Arthur Hopp;
Once upon a time, there wis a man named Ebenezer
Snatchit who tt last was positive he had discovered The
True Secret of Happiness.
When he was a little boy, he thought money was the
secret. "What do you want to be when you grow up,
dear?" his parents would smilingly ask.
"Rich," Ebcnezcr would snap.
While they admired Ebejiezer's ambition, his parents
were concerned by his safe-rnindedness. "Happiness,
Ebenezer," his mother would caution, "comes from
being happy with your family, your health, your work,
your home, your community and your leisure time.
"Remember, Ebenezer, his father would say sternly,
"money cant buy happiness.
They taught Ebenezer sons like The Best Things
in Life Are Free and "IVe Cot a Pocket Full of Dreams.
They took him to plays filled with joyous shepherds and
shepherdesses. And they took him to movies in which the
rich were always and unhappy and the poor found
life a bowl of cherries.
In school, Ebenezer -learned about poor King Midas.
And in church the preacher preached every Sunday
about the evils of money, usually just before he passed
the collection phte.
Like most Americans, however, Ebenezer somehow
ignored such talk mi went riht on stiussling to get rich.
Finely, he became a wealthy slumlord. Cut he felt
unsaiy. "Maybe I would be happier after all, he worried
aloud, If I were poor.
That very niht, The Good Fairy visited Ebenezer. "I
have come, she add firmly, "to show you the tenants
you so unhappily exploit.
She showed Mm Little Nell, a beautiful girl who Labor
ed 16 hours a Iay in a sweat shop to support her aged
mother. She showed him Tiny Hra, a brave little lad who
peddbd newspapers 16 hours a day to support his aed
dog. She showed him Mother MacCree, a kindly matron
who sewed jute sacks 16 hours a day to support her
aged heroin habit. And she showed him many more of
the same.
By now, Ebenezer was in tears. "You see now that
innocent
bystander
Kjiaay away nuiii uoc? ui oufjoi iiuuo ui
By Theodore M. Bernstein
Neither offal nor awful. The headline read , "Taking the
Wraps Off of Egypt, and Prof. Stanley Goodman of
Boca Raton, Fla., writes that he believes the of is super
fluous, lie is right; the of is completely unnecessary. la a
bernstein
on words
sentence such as "He stole 25 bucks off of me," the of
is definitely wrong because the off is wrong; it should be
fknu - m:
Hi Jack. A colloquial term that for a long, long time
was widely used but has almost faded away in recent years
is jack-a-dandy , Vhich is also spelled jack-o-darsdy and
sometimes appears as j ust Jack Dandy. Martin E. Judge of
gW.MOTgittaiWw-iTiLywinwiWB"Ui.iii.-iMB!ijii..i . imi niH.'i 'Kina.mL i. Ml , ., i) i.i mm - ?iFww
Cherry I El, IIJ., inquires about the term, but there isnt
much to say shout it. It means an insniiicant foppish
little chap. For centuries the word pick has been used to
designate a male member of the common people and
dssdfy, of course, is a man whose main interest in life is
clothes. According to Eric Partridge's Dictionary of Slang
and Unconventional English, fsck-G-dazdy dates back to
1630.
Wood oddities. When a TV weatherman says it may rain
and advises his listeners to carry a bumbershoot, Elaine H.
Stallworth of Willow Grove, Pa., gets interested. She
wants to know where the word comes from. It's Ameri
can jocular slang and it combines a slight distortion of the
wnbr- part of umbrella with the -chute part of parachute.
Of course if you want to look a little summery during a
winter rain you can carry a bumbersoU, which works the
idea of parasol into your protective device. In each of
these two divisions there are many variations so you will
be happy, come rain or come shine. .
(c) 137S Theodora M.Oarnstcin
Special Features
money cant buy happiness, said The Good Fairy sternly.
Thus, to be happy, you must give all your money away
to these poor, suffering people and take a vow of pov
erty" T will, I will! cried Ebenezer. And he would have,
too, if hadn't read last Sunday's Gallup Poll taken in
70 different nations. It proved that rich people all around
the world were far, far happier about their fcmilies, their
health, their work, their homes, their communities and
their leisure time than poor people.
fcbeneezer promptly told his lawyers to raise his
rents 32 per cent and flew off to Florida to buy a 14
bedroom condominium in which he confidently planned
to live happSy every after.
MORAL: Money cant buy happiness. But it sure dots
up your odds.
(Copyright Chronicle Pt&li&iina Co. 137CJ
Every American ought to know what"
it says. For a copy, write; Economics7
iPuebta. Colorado 81009.
1m9
PUT YGlEl BcST FOOT FOATd)
crossword puzzle
ACZQZS
1 Hired hands
5 Soho hoosesow
9 Harness parts
14 Great Earner
Island
15 la a bad way
1$ Cased -
17 Word for
34 Down " .
19 Henna job
23 Kind of court
21 Word for
34 Down
23 U.N. group
24 Boston's red
items
23 Back-talk
23 Long-haired
dogs
23 Numerical prefix
31 Plunder
22 Juan c Cristobal
23 Merchant's sign
.23 Words for
34 Down
41 On a heroic scale
42 Hindu cymbals
43 Webster and
Beard, to friends
4 1 Dogmatic one .
43 EzslishfieM
growth
47 Jump -
(abscond) - ,
SI Geometric
figure: Atbr.
22 Indonesian
islands
S3 First name of
rival cf 34 Down
S3 rctals, for
staple. t&
3 Sznocth
C3 Do a job a la
21 Down
2 Fsrk iaih -
Rockies
3 rsris seasons -CI
Greek god
3 Realtors papers
C7 Scnunar Ai.br.
DOWN
1
2
3
4
S
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7
8
9
Western critter
Famed Latin
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Kind of year
like 34 Down
Gadget
Egyptian dancing
Palm leaf: var.
VxtiaS LBJ.
Baztwnan Alpert
19 Stsns? .
11 Large sea ray
ll Letters
13 Forwardookir.2
ones
13 Fish
22 Euloze
21 Word for
34Dwn
23 Hih mcustain.
to Italians
27 Plane maneuver
23 Intestine: Prefix
23 Moccasin
23 Chemical ending
32 Glass ingredient
34 Signature cf a.
famed AmerKan
23 Jewish month -
. S3 Magnifier -
-27 G sdx
23 Zl
O Lanuasc: Atbr. -43
Boring tool
43 Mardi
. 47 Stationed
43 Maltreat
43 Burned up
23 Cleaned up
52 Cordial flavor
SI Famed W.W.n
23 Latin fidi
3 Distksctive -57
Sweetsop
S3 up (botch)
1 W.W. II area
Tuesday, Nov. 30, 8 p.m.
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