Wednesday, noverribcr. 10, 1976
daily ncbrcskan
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Die to high cost
the prof was lost
By Jim WIHiams -A
New Approach to Educations! Reform,
or, Use Cat ia lie Ikt Goes to CcHe.
Some proper professors had met in a room
to make their complaints and pronouncements of doom.
It's dear," said a prof, ""that things are quite bad.
My students can even read, write, spell or add."
"They amply wont learn! They will not change their
ways!
And then they expect, us to give them BA's."
wrench
in the works
Xt's the high schools!" another said. We do our best,
but the scores have declined on each standardized test.
"They can't fight the system, you know," said another,
if you Hunk a kid out you get punched by his mother."
"Oh, oh, who wil save us? Oh, what can we do?"
And the Masters and Doctors began to boo-hoo.
1 can! I w3 save yoa!,said one with a shout.
T11 solve all those problems you're worried about."
He strode to the rostrum, and then they saw that
it wasn't a prof, but The Cst in the list!
Tm The Cst in the list! Everybody knows me!
Tm Bigger than even that Bird on T.VJ
I taught reading to fiyrAear-e!3 kids of the nation;
now 111 try my paw at Advanced Education!
When 1 taught them, ali of them learned, bit by bit
Bat now they're in college and aren worth a . . er, darn."
!
- - - v i i. t jsr
4$
The Cat tapped a new Gucci shoe on the floor
and said, TasicaSy, guys, what you teach is a bore.
JMo one gives a hang about Latin today
and more folks dig the Fonz than Jean PiageL
Your labs must be fun, your requirements fuliSiable,
your lectures taught mostly in words of one syllable."
Ha!" cried a skeptic. That's great! That's just fine!
Do you want to take that froid this mangy feline?
V21 you prostitute thought to this enamorala?"
Ve donTt want to, but," said another, "we gotta "
With a sigh of regret, he then made his plea:
""Mr. Cat, won't you join our esteemed faculty?
I've checked with the budget, and now offer you
A salary of sixty-five twenty -tw j."
The Cat eyed the spokesman incredulously
and said, That's just cat food to Ikt Cats like me!
I wouldn't consider it-No, by my granny!
Unless I get more than you're payirjg Devaney."
The whole room was silent. The spokesman said, "Cat,
this school won't pay anyone money lie that."
Then The Cat ia the flat, taking hat from the rack,
said, lien IlcH freezes over! That's when 111 come
tack!"
Good teachers won't punch clock
First, a bit of backtracking.
It has been pointed out to us that the list of
faculty salaries in the Oct. 28 Daily Nebraskan
could be misleading. Readers should note that
some of those whose salaries were listed are not
on 12-month appointments. Some of those sal
aries are for 9 months work, or less. Also, in
some cases the salary reflects payment for more
than one job. (A chairman of a department who
teaches a course, for example, is paid two salar
ies, one for each position, but the figure listed
represents the total salary.)
The logistics of trying to record each faculty
member's duties and length of appointment pre
vented printing of a more detailed list For any -misunderstanding
this may have caused, we apolo
gize. The information was provided to give
readers an easily accessible list of UNL faculty
salaries, a subject which crops up frequently at
regents meetings, in the Legislature and in num
erous less formal conversations. Salary levels are
important to the extent that they play a part in
recruiting and keeping good faculty members at
UNL.
And while we're on the subject of faculty sal
aries and workload . . .
The Legislature received a few days zo a re
port which was designed to measure the number
of hours faculty members devote to various duties
each week.
The figures show that faculty members are 1
putting in much more than 40 hours a week
which may be the reason so many of them re
sented taking the time to fill out the report.
The report's redeeming value is that it shows
most faculty members are giving students' their
money's worth. But we should be leary of trying
to draw too many conclusions from the various
figures listed.
The teacher or researcher who enjoys his work
would have a hard time distinguishing between
work done for himself and that done for students
or the university. We don't want professors to
punch a time clock. The figures show it would be
to the university's disadvantage if they did.
Legislators and other budget makers should
realize attempts to measure faculty workload
would be less than conclusive so it would be a
mistake for them to attach absolute meanings to
the figures.. :"
You cannot measure those things (accessi
bility, flexibility, genuine concern, love of sub
ject, etc.) which make good teachers, but cannot
be guaranteed to come with the FhJX
It's those faculty members who dont keep
track of the work hours whose hours mean the
most.
letters
Doug Weil's column is aptly named. Misrepresenting
Jimmy Carter's stand (the objection Carter has to Henry
Kissinger is not his use of shuttle diplomacy but his com
plete control of foreign affairs) and his resurrection of
Robert Dole's ridiculous notion of war being a Demo
cratic institution represents the current stream of naive
conservative criticism. His is the typical ""slogan method
of labeling Carter's stand (Le. "leefar tottering") without
seeing the need to back up the little kids ax? pre
occupied with labels because the notion of labeling some
thing that's in their head as a now thing (call recognitory
assimilation). Most, however, by college age see the need
to elaborate in order to facilitate conmiunication. Is Weil
stuck in the labeling stage or does he have no evidence to
back up his conservative gripes? Lets hear iL
Dave Hardy
Money music
A recent letter (Nov. 1) in the Daily Mebraskan came
to the defense of KFMQ mainly on the grounds that a
concept cf progressive music is relative, personal, and
that: . to think that KFMQ or any radio station can
program music to suit each individual s need is inane and
foolish. The best they can do is to program a variety of
music that appeals to the greatest number of people.9
This strikes me as curious, and rr;,'y I surest that those
who need the progresslvenfiss of 40 songs listen to all
. of the other top 40 format stations, thus permitting
KFMQ to meet the Iceeds'of those people whose concept
of progresses music is not equivalent to money musk.
The rariety of music that appeals to the greatest number
- of people1" is, in practice, somewhat confusing, because
the lack of variety is what has come with Ihe greatest
. number of people. In fairness, KF&Q is not as bad as the
untouchable AM.- -r .
The suggestion offered in the letter, that the dissatis
fied satiate their musical wanderlust by paying their own
" records, is not too bad of an alternative. The primary
obstruction to this situation is V regretful economic
limitations that don't allow jarr fejy all the records Td
like io. Actually, KFMQ could help me remove this ob-
- sanction by sending rise ail the eld records that aren't
going to be played anymore, which I trust would give me
' quite a selection.
KFMQ is indeed musk, McDonalds is indeed food. I
eat at McDonalds sometimes, but 1 would not eat there
everyday (especially if I had a gourmet chef on my
turntable.) The main point is not that Q's music meets
the base minimum requirement of the word Vnusie', but
that the repetition reduces the value of some songs, and
excludes playing of other, equally good songs.
John P. Jonnson
.' .' Fresiasir.;
Philosophy
Individual choice
Re the letter from Paula Purviance, Nov. 8 DaUy Ne
brsskan. 1 find some f her statements to be very inter
esting, particularly the next to last paragraph. (Inject ins
disease viruses into the bloodstream as a means of prevent
ing (it is contrary to every lav of nature.) If injecting
attenuated virus into the bloodstream as a means of
preventing disease is contrary to every law of nature why
has polio and smallpox been virtually eliminated from
this country by the means of vaccines, which have been
administered in the form of inoculations? The principles
of swine flu inoculations are basically the same as those
employed far smallpox and polio inoculations. That is the
exposure to an antigen, Le., attenuated swine flu virus
will stimulate the production of antibodies within the
body against this antigen. This may be more contrary to
people's beliefs than contrary to the laws of nature. I
will agree that a proper diet plays a necessary role in main
taining a person's health, however food fetishes w3 not
cure disease.
We must remember that the swine flu epidemic of
1918-1919 which killed approximately 500,003 people
occurred before the availability of antibiotics. So this
brings ap the question of whether these people died from
the swine flu or as a result of secondary bacterial infec
tions caused by increased host suscepliabHity.
The idea for the mass immunization program came
out of Atlanta, from the Center for Disease Control
(CDjC). At the , suggestion of the life scientist at the
CD-C the federal government initiated the program.
True the entire program is a gamble, but at the same
time it is a gamble based on some very fascinating dis
coveries in life science. The choice to become inoculated
is left up to the individual. There will be some people who
refuse because they are afraid of shots, there w2 be peo
ple who art; apathetic, but there should not be any people
who refuse because of misrepresentation of the true
laws of nature.
Michael Grooms
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