monday, tcptcrr-bcr 27, 1976
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THE debates offered ultimate proof statistics '
can say anything the interpreter wants them to.
And Thursday night, statistics did most of the
talking.
The statistics, on unemployment: It's up to 20
per cent in the construction industry. This is way
too high, Jimmy Carter said, because he is aiming
for a three per cent adult unemployment-not to
be confused with a four to four and one half over-
all unemployment rate. And, if these figures are
realized, the mathematical result would be a four
to six per cent economic growth rate.
When Carter was asked if all this money poured
into the economy via paychecks wouldn't cause a
horrendous inflation, more statistics came to the
rescue. At our present 7.9 per cent overall unem
ployment rate (the 20 per cent figure applies only
to construction) we are utilizing only 73 per cent
of our productive capacity. Clear? As mud.
Carter calculated Thursday night the extra
money available for his proposed tax relief and .
employment programs would be $60 billion by
1981 . But President Ford told the audience he
estimates the programs will cost from $ 1 00 to
200 billion and questiohner Elizabeth Drew, arm
ed with statistics of her own, declared that no
matter what the cost, only $5 billion could be
saved by 1981.
The audience got more of the same on energy,
federal spending, etc. Figures were a dime a
ahem.
E3
mm
Carter memorized enough figures to attack
Ford's veto record. Ford dug far enough through
Georgia's state records to be able to attack gov
ernment expenditures during Carter's term as
governor.
It seems Ford and Carter, both so quick to de
clare their willingness to debate, memorized an
hour and a half s worth of statistics and molded
their ready-made answers around whatever ques
tions happened to be forthcoming.
We get the idea we would have heard those fig
ures no matter what the questions would have
been. Neither candidate showed a good debater's
ability to improvise, which made the single
spontaneous episode of the evening the 27-mIn-ute
gap the news of the night.
By letting statistics speak for them, Ford and
Carter ended up saying almost nothing at alL
A local poll shows 34.4 per cent of the viewers
thought Ford won the debates and 3 1.8 per cent
thoughtarter won. These statistics, like all the
others connected with the debates, mean nothing
at all the polltakers go on to say. You see, there is
a 2.9 per cent err rate.
Optimists are saying the next debates (schedul
ed for Oct. 6) will find the candidates much more
at ease, and that the two will come out from be
hind their memorized answers. Let's hope so.
Viewers should not have to sit down with their
calculators to figure out what the debators are
saying.
letters
Where c!so?
Of ion srov
I agree with the first part of Chris Ewing's Sept. 24
letter which states that it is nice to see all of the lawns and
flora around campus. However, the chins that the
"natural beauty" around the Sheldon, Ferguson and West
brook B'dgs, has been ruined by the sculptures is in
correct. '
She was correct when she suggested that her "aesthetic
values are screwed around." The sculptures are not ugly.
They are in good taste and the area is relaxing. And she
can't say that the "natural beauty" of the area has been
ruined by the sculptures because the landscaping there is
about as natural as a test tube baby or electrified music.
If Chris wants natural beauty she should go hiking in a
forest or canoeing in Canada. She won't find it at this
campus, in this city, or in this state-where all of the
natural vegetation has been replaced by corn and wheat.
So because we walk on grounds that have been re
modeled by bulldozers and shovels Chris shouldn't com
plain about walking amidst objects created by welding
torches and hammers.
Besides, where else were they going to put the
sculptures?
Ron Ahrens
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writer.
Much ado about nothing:
RsacuOn to C
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armors
Playboy coo
W 1 J&S
on
By Nicholas Von Hoffman
"Off the uff, that's a very foolish thing for anyone
to say," the Rev. George Docherty, pastor emeritus of
Washington's New York Avenue Church, was quoted in
The Washington Post when invited to discuss fellow
clergyman Jimmy Carter's interpretation of the Com
mandment about adultery. "There is a distinction be
tween witting lust and unwitting lust. It is not holier-than-thou
to condemn another man for shacking down with
another man's wife."
side7ise
The only news here is that while Baptists and others
customarily , shack up,. Presbyterians apparently shack
down. It is-a distinction in moral theology which may
rival the terrible controversy which raged among the .
fourth century Fathers of the Church over whether the
Homoiousians or the Homoousians were right. Since the
two political partier are having such Sturm and Prang
trying to find an issue on which they clearly disagree, the
.Rev. Mr. Docherty may have saved the election from
absolute meamnglessness by having come up with one.
In Rev. Carter's interview in Playboy, where he refused
I to come out in favor of depriving proven adulterers of
their civil rights, he revealed himself to be an up-shacker.
At least he is quoted as refusing to condemn a man "Who
i cot only looks upon a woman with lust (Le. ogles) but
, who leaves his wife and shacks up with somebody out of
wedlock."
Fuzzy cps tzd downs
Ron Nessen, President Gerald Ford's media spokesperson-,
pointed out that Carter had hidden his upshaclrisiic
tendencies throughout the entire primary campaign. This
3 mother example of Carter's fuzziness, Nessen indicated.
When asked the-President's positron on the issue, Nersen
said there would be no White House statement on the
matter and directed reporters to examine Ford's long re
cord on the question. Ford has long been considered a
; down-5hacker, so that members of the White House press
corps taken by surprise when the President said that if
he ever caught daddy's little girl Suzy shackin up or
down, I'd protest in most vigorous way and I'd counsel
her." It was not immediately clear whether Ford meant
by counseling her that he'd send Henry Kissinger over on
a shuttle to give her sex education or what.
There is a tumescent feeling in the Republican camp
that the voting public will react very badly that Carter, a
duly ordained peanut, would confess to concupiscence,
hard breathing, dry mouth and hankering after. Carter
didn't say in his Playboy interview if he'd gone as far as
fantasizing, although Bob Dole told a convention of in
dicted grain dealers in Memphis that Carter's fantasies are
so rich that he had no chance of balancing the budget.
Carter's wife, Rosarynn, told NEC news that she stands by.
her husband and considers Sen. Dole's imputations to ex-
, cessrve fantasizing personally offensive and no credit to .
Dele a divorced; recently remarried man. Carter's mother
was quoted , by the Associated Press saying, "Outta here,
you sex-crazed, Northern white trash reporter." The
second Mrs. Dob also issued a statement saying she would
stand by her husband although she refused to explain
'why. -
It is known that Secretary of the Treasury ViHiam
Simon is urging President Ford to widen his proposed
anti-abortion amendment to bar pre- and extra-marital
sex. By placing sex under the direct jurisdiction of the
federal government, Sfmon atguss, the ground will be cut
out from under administration critics who're saying this is
a crock tcpfe which doesn't belong in a presidential cam
paign. Attorney General Edward Levi is siding with Simon
because he thinks if screwing (it's Carter's word and they
printed it on page one of The Washington Post) is made a
violation of the federal criminal code it will help pull up
FBI arrest statistics. Levi's theory is that flatfoot Kelley
and his interior decorators will find busting kids under
bushes in the park more on their skill level than getting
the goods on the Mafia.
Most confessfn'est family
Another suggestion being mulled over in the White
House campaign headquarters is to send the Ford kids
out across the country enumerating all the sins they
haven't committed. The press will be nudged to contrast
the Ford family's unremittingly virginal innocence to
Rosarynn Carter's recent confession that sons confessed
to her that they'd smoked pot. the Carters are the most
confessin'est family ever to run for the Presidency. If
they don't cut it out soon they may end up confessin'
themselves back to the peanut farm.
Some Ford strategists are not so sure the my-family-is-
gooaer-uian-your-tamiiy approach is the right one. woi
that they're worried any member of the Ford family ever
did anything wrong, but they don't know how to deal
with Amy Carter. The public thinks Amy is a nice little
girl and they may think Senator Dole has pished partisan
ship too far when he accuses Amy of shortchanging the
media when she sells them lemonade. On the other hand,
given the Carter family's predilection for baring the chest
and confessing all, don't be surprised if tje next issue of
the Girl Scout magazine has an exclusive interview with
Amy wherein she admits she's a heroin addict. If the
script goes true to form, her mother will say she doesn't
mind what her children do as long as they come and tell
her. The Fords will stick bars of butter in their mouths
and say they don't do such things.
Another possibility is that the Ford and Carter kids all
shut up and go back to school; that the Carter and Ford
wives either run for office on their own or pipe down too;
and that Mrs. Sen. Dole goes tack to her job at the Fed
eral Trade Commission; and, most of all, may the press
stop writing about other peoples libidos and limit their
interest in sex to cheating on their wives and husbands as
they traipse around after the candidates in chartered
planes.
Copyright. 137S. by King Features Syndicate .