The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, September 22, 1976, Page page 4, Image 4

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Congress passed a bill Friday which would
prohibit the use of federal funds to pay for
abortions unless the mother's life is in danger.
Supporters (including Nebraska's five repre
sentatives in Congress) said the amendment was
needed to prevent the federal government from
financing most abortions, which they said were
immoral.
Does Congress believe tax dollars should not be
spew on someimns part ot trie population thinks
is immoral 1 in tnat case, tney owe a lot of peopi
a large portion of the tax dollars spent between
1964 and 1972.
Does Congress think this is a good way to cut
down on federal spending? Surely they realize it
costs more welfare dollars to support a child for
18 years than to have an abortion.
The right to have an abortion has been given
the status of a constitutional right. To deny
abortions to women who happen to be poor
enough to need Medicare cards is discriminatory.
There is no doubt if President Ford signs the bill
the Supreme Court w21 declare the abortion
amendment unconstitutional.
In the meantime, the middle and upper income
classes only would have access to abortions.
Sound familiar?
letters
I read with interest your article on "Instant Parent
hood" (Sept. 16, Third Dimension). I have neither the re
sources, nor the space, necessary to become an "instant"
foster parent. But I would like to comment on the state
ment: "A man and a woman living together are ineligible
- to become foster parents . . . according to a juvenile court
law. Two males or females living together are eligible."
I would like to know on what criteria the lawmakers
are judging people living together, as to their desirability
to be potential foster parents? In principle and practice, it
seems discriminatory that a dormitory resident might be
able to accommodate a foster child; that two persons of
' the same sex can; a married couple can also, but not a
couple who choose to live together.
Who has the right to deny a segment of the population
their participation in a worthy social service soley because
they do not exist in the right combination?
One might presume that the lawmakers have access to
sociological and psychological studies, both empirical and
theoretical, which suggest very strongly that a man and a
woman living together are not fit to be foster parents. I
have a sneaking suspicion that there is no substantia evi
dence to support any notions lawmakers have as to
couples living together. -
We know it is illegal, and on that point alone, these
persons are eliminated from the selection process. But
why illegal? What is wrong with people who choose to
live as they please? Do they commit more crimes of pas
sion? Who says that a married couple or a dormitory resi
dent is more capable-all other things being equal?
It seems, yet again, that the assumptions and prefer
ences cf the lawmakers should be examined dispsssionate-
1. --J t - i 1 a i.t r 1 it
tsiF disease has corns to the public's attention, but with
co cure in siht!
Rl Lyase BsIzeS
323 Avery 13
The DaOy Nebraska welcomes letters to the editor
and guest opinions. Choices of material published wO
be based ca timeliness and ori-in-Illy. Letters must be
accompanied by the writer's name, but may be
pubied under a pep case if requested.
Guest opinions should be typed, trip!e-spsced, ca
ncnera!e prper. They should be accompanied by the
sutler's n:, class standing and major, cr occupation.
7J1 ni::r; J Emitted to these pcss is saijset to cdlt
tz ad condensation, and cannot be retained to the
( X'JT course c5
r".
Health Aides give some s m dents
s reason to swear off hypochondria
By Jisi VCIams
Harlan Fester says he's sworn off all hypochondria,
and it's his health aide who made it possible.
It's about time. Harlan contracted Legionaire's Disease
from Harry Reasoner and food poisoning from a tainted
Vali-Diae card. Anyone who could get him to kick the
habit deserves thanks, even if it's my own health aide, Les
ter von Dracula.
Health aides, as most students know, dispense minor
medical help to their fellow residents in Greek houses and
residence halls. The health aide is compensated by credit
for a public health course which most departments won't
accept and $5 a week to cover .such incidental expenses
as getting the blood off the ceiling.
Health aides often are one of two types. Type One
the Frustrated Doctor-washes his hands and slips into a
white coat before telling you to "try eating more prunes.
He posts a schedule of office hours, scrubs out your
paper cut with green soap and disinfectant that hurt more
than the original injury, and is likely to send you a bill at
the end of the month. ' :
Type Two the Helpful Soul probably became a
health aide because nobody else would do it. He loves to
be awakened at 2 ajn. to treat serious cases of hangover
and passes out Coricidin to anyone who blows his nose.
He posts those "Health Tips-What to do if your injured"
and faints at the sight of ketchup.
Health aides, like all other University employes, also
fill out forms. Each week the health aide fZte out a blue
slip listing the problems he or she has handled and the
medicines dispensed in the line of duty.
"Nobody ever reads these stupid things, said Ray the
Roommate once. Ray was a Type-Two health aide whose
milk of human kindness was turning to persimmon
yoghurt under the pressure of a six-week backlog of blue
slips.
By Arthur Hcppe
Senator Robert Dole will make a wonderful Vice Pre
sident if he can just curb his compulsion to be candid.
Down in Spartanburg, S.C., last week, for example, a
local reporter asked him if he favored black majority rule
in South Africa.
"Glad you dropped in,' replied Mr. Dole.
Now, there's a perfect Vice Presidential response to a
question. It's warm. It's friendly. It makes the press feel
welcome. That's good public relations.
innocent
bystander
But Mr. Dele simply couldn't leave it alone. After a
pause, hessid, "I think it's going to come one of these
cays, Then he said, "I think so, under certain limita
tions Then he said, "I favor it with limitations. Then
he said, "Eat I want to check it first." Then he said, "I
don't want to get hit with a bomb'."
From this, people rrJht think lli. Dole doesn't know
what he thinks until he calls up Mr. Ford's staff in Wash
ington and they tell him whit he thinks. That's what hap
pens when you start explung perfectly reasonsbb
tsawers. Any husband knows that.
Take a husband who's kte to breakfast and is in
trouble, merely because he arrived through the front
.doer. " .. - . , 1
"Heck, I'm just going to make scmethLig up, he said.
" 'Resident sawed leg off wfch chain saw. Gave him a
band-aid.' That's that week. tOne case cf St. Vitus' n
and one case cf Evil Spirits. Treatment: drank the Evfl
Spirits and referred St. Vitus to Arthur Murray. "
I don't know what happened to Ray for doing that
Something bad, IH bet. It doesn't pay to fool around
with the Health Establishment, as I learned once when
Ray gave me a strip to test if I had diabetes.
"Dip this strip in you wee-wee, Ray scientifically ex
plained as he passed them out, 'then return it to me and
wrencn
in the works
HI send them all to the tab. For cripes' sake dry it first,
though." -
I knew I didn't have diabetes, so when Ray kept bugg
ing me to give him the strip back I dipped it in a Vess
orange soda and returned it.
Next week I got a call from the health center.
"Sir, your diabetes test strip has been analyzed. It is
almost pure sugar. Also, it is orange. Have you been taking
any medication that might cause this condition?"
It took nearly 20 minutes of expMnisg to keep them
from sending the ambulance over right away. By compari
son, Harlan got off easily.
"I went in and told Lester I thought I had swine flu "
he said. "He looked at me for a long time and said,
'It's only natural with the company you keep. "
til
"Where have you been all night?" his wife may ask,
that being a perfectly reasonable question.
"Glad you dropped in," he should say, tossing in a
firm handshake, for this shows he's in favor of together
ness. ,
"What happened to that tacky blonde trollop you
were doing the Dump with?" she might well inquire.
"How are the aphids in your mother's coreopsis?" he
should respond, as this demenstrattes his devotion to the
familial ties that bind and his humanitarian hopes of
good health for all
"Did I see you drive off with her after the party?"
"This is a difficult question. Perhaps the best answer
is: "I think we can safely look forward to a steadily-improving
economy with lower unemployment and dim
iaishing inflation as long as stability can be maintained
ia the Middle East. This indicates he is no fiy-by-mght
husband bat a solid, dependable provider with aa eye to
the future. :
Voe betide him should he dissolve into babbling ex
planations about dead bstteries or empty gss tanks. Eat if
ha can continue his diaffed responses through two cups
of coffee, a shave and a shirt chan-a, he can go off to
work kaving behind a wife who can't help adoring such a
proverdy loving, compassionate, reliable husband.
r fuMr' 1)018 blsw it. Now people wO ask him how,
? h,e becomes President, he wl know what he thinks?
Let s hope this bitter experience has tau-ht him the
answer.
Clad you dropped in.
fCctiiht Cfcrooei Put:
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