wedncc:y, rptcr.ber 1, t970
' opinion
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ML's housing office proves niol'acconnmcaatjng
It's called making the best cf a bad situation.
Enrollment figures are up and apartment rents
are rising, so the residence hall population swells.
And the university, in it's usual accommodating
manner, took in the homeless freshmen, even
though all the rooms were full.
About 200 students moved into residence hall
basements and floor lounges last week. Residence
hall rates have risen to $1225 for a double room,
one quarter of a lounge or bed and board in the
basement.
Even those who got a genuine set of four walls
are deprived use of their television sets and ping-
pong tables-not to be considered expendable
commodities so far as university students are con
cerned. It seems as if everyone is getting less for their
money. Probably not so.
It's inconvenient for those who have to live out
of suitcases and suffer passers-by gawking at their
living arrangements. But it's probably better than
having to get an apartment when you don't want
to cook for yourself, don't know your way
around, and don't have a car anyway.
The university benefits by sparing you the
hassles of apartment living. Leases being what (
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waiting for an empty room in the residence hall,
they'd never get you back.
Then occupancy rates would fall to 85 per cent
again, and room rates would climb even higher.
The housing office is optimistic those living in
temporary quarters will be moved into rooms by
the end of the month.
In the meantime, the university will collect
enough revenue to avoid defaulting on this
month's bond debt and a couple of hundred
freshmen will get their first of many invaluable
university lessons in adaptation.
Siwashians, university da
probably would make fun f our tun
By Jim Williams
So you think you know how to have FUN at college,
right? You think throwing water balloons at the boys
from the Sigmoid Colon house and putting soap in the
fountain is hot stuff? .
Baloney. Your grandfather had more fun in college
than you.
I discovered this reading Sad Days at Old Swash; a
short story by George fitch that appeared in the Saturday
Evening Post, December 18,1909.
Of course going to college was harder then, as you will
find out by asking someone vsho did. He will tell you he
worked his way through school as a galley slave, walked to
class 15 miles through the snow, was locked in his dorm
room at sundown, and couldn't go to little Bo until he
was 21. Also, hell say the girls wore chastity belts and
that saber-toothed tigers prowled the campus.
Don't you believe it. Fitch's Siwash College students
spent most of their time in such mild diversions as going
to plush restaurants in top hats and pajamas, sneaking
profane parrots into the chapel ventilation system, kid
napping actors and assuming their roles in plays, and other
Etue things Eke that.
1 wonder what it is," Fitch wondered In college that
makes a fellow want to stick his finger into conventions
curricular activities unconnected with the business of
getting an education. And this campus might be flooded
with false fatalities and bogus burials. And I might find
myself back road-testing Maserati lawnmowers rather
quickly.
But Fd hate for visiting alumni from the Class of 109
to think we're a bunch of pansies.
The Daily Ncbraskaa welcomes letters to the editor
and guest opinions. Choices of material published will
be based on timeliness and originality. Letters must be
accompanied by the writer's name, but may be
published under a pen name if requested.
Guest opinions should be typed, triple-spaced, on
nonerasable paper. They should be accompanied by the
author's nii ie, class standing and major, or occupation.
All material submitted to these pages is subject to edit
ing' and condensation, and cannot be returned to the
writer.
Candidate Carter pits snothe
against President Ford's dog
By Arthur Ucppe
Both major Presidential candidates agree that we
should choose between them this year on the basis of
which one we trust the more.
For the benefit cf inquiring voters, here then, are the
exited ? m which this agonizing decision must be based.:
wrench
in the works
and customs and manners, to say nothing of the revised
statutes, and stir the whole mess Ground and 'round!"
Such amusements the Siwashians pursued as naturally
as breathing, because they couldn't see why they should
n't. But when need drove them, they became positively
inspired.
When several, broke and bored, needed an afternoon
off to wager on a college baseball game, did they ask
permission? Feign illness? Just skip?
Certainly not. They simply convinced one of their
number to hide in the attic, anesthetized by cigarettes and
pie, then corrupted a telegraph operator to send the
"college a report of the missing one's untimely demise.
Naturally (these were simpler times) classes were cancel
led, a memorial service scheduled. Then the deceased
began taking unfair advantage of his condition by
demanding to be smuggled into the chapel to hear his
funeraL . .
Fd love to tsH the whole story, but am restrained by
journalistic standards, professional pride and the copy
right laws. Anyway, that's not the po&t.
That is: heaving a bucket of water at a passing car may '
be fun, but it's destructive, hardly original, and shows
very little class. The least the perpetrators could do would
be to wear tuxedos and throw quiche lorraine.
Some might wrongfully assume I am endorsing extra-
First, Mr. Carter neither smokes, drinks nor falls down,
at least not in public. But the fact that Mr. Carter doesn't
drink is no reason to distrust hen per se .
We shouldn't thoughtlessly cry, "What's he got to
hide? I know many trustworthy people who don't drink.
AH of them are alcoholics. So let's give Mr. Carter the
benefit of the doubt on this one.
On the other hand, Mr. Ford smokes a pipe, drinks
socially and has a dog. Mr. Carter doesn't have a dog. In
fact, he's the first major candidate in two decades to seek
the White House without the help of a dog. He has a
mother instead.
While having a mother demonstrates Mr. Carter's flare
for the unorthodox (no candidate in 16 years has had a
mother), it doesn't necessarily prove him trustworthy.
After all, Mr. Nixon had a mother. On the whole, Mr.
Carter would have been wiser to have had a dog.
To be fair, Mr. Ford is a golfer. This does not, however,
make him ipso facto a cheat. I know several golfers who
do not improve their lies when no one's looking or at
least they claim they don't. Saying that all golfers cheat is
like saying all businessmen who teach Sunday school are
phonies. There are exceptions to every rule.
The Republicans will claim, of course, that Mr. Ford
can be trusted because he toasts his own English muffins.
Nonsense. Henry VIII toasted numerous English muffins
and who trusted him?
Mr. Ford is taller, though, than either Mr. Carter or
Henry VIII. But Mr. Carter has more hair. It's too bad the
race isn't between a tall hairy man and a short balding
one. The decision would be easy.
Let us turn to the candidates' families which the can
didates w21 turn to in order to prow their trustworth
iness. Oddly enough, each has a wife, three grown sons
whose names no one can remember, and a daughter.'
Mrs. Ford long ago captured the nation's heart by say
ing she wouldn't be surprised if her daughter had an affair.
Mrs. Carter would. But would you trust a man who raised
Innocent
bustandw
his only little girl to be an eight-year-old aunt? It shows
why Southerners are seldom elected President. They're
inbred.
On balance, it would appear that Mr. Ford is far more
trustworthy than Mr. Carter. And that would be true if
Mr. Ford didn't wear leisure suits and white leather shoes
to barbecues. ,
I don't know about you but I have never not once
bought a used car from a man wearing a leisure suit and
white leather shoes.
So perhaps it's best to delay making this agonizing
decision. Keep in mind that each candidate will spend $20
million of our money before November in hopes of con
vincing us he can be trusted to spend our money.
For the sake of the Republic, let us hope that it's
enough.
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