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By Joe Roy
UNL faculty members will go on strike one minute after
midnight tonight unless several faculty union demands are
met during today's contract negotiations.
Nels Shorty, president of the UNL chapter of the
Amalgamated American Professors Union (AAPU), said
the administration is still refusing to bow to the following
demands:
allowing each full professor or assistant professor to
set his own salary, subject to the approval of his immedi
ate family.
renaming Hamilton Hall George Meany Hall.'
changing the title of department chairman to
'foreman."
the installation of timeclocks so professors are certain
to receive triple overtime pay.
a right to walk off the job, without loss of pay, when
forced to work along side nonunion personnel, such as
students.
Shorty said he doubts demands will be met and advised
all union members to pack a lunch box for the scheduled
sit-down strike.
NU President Woody Varnish, obviously angered at the
proposed AAPU strike, said he wasn't surprised by the
recent developments.
"1 knew we were in trouble the minute the faculty
decided to unionize," Varnish said. "First the professors
start wearing those yellow hardhats around campus. Then
they replaced the chimes in Mueller Tower with a noon
whistle.
"Then came the controversy of the political science
professor who wanted to turn out the lights in a
classroom to run an overhead projector. But then he
remembered that's an electrician's job. He held up
class for 35 minutes before an electrician, getting paid
double time, could be found.
"But this time they've gone too far, Varnish con
tinued. "A sit-down strike is illegal; they are just trying
to make sure the scabs (graduate assistants) don't act as
strikebreakers."
I Parody plans unveiled
to quiet UNO gripers
By Ilssdy dosbeft
ti an unparalleled move to achieve parody between
UNL and the University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO),
the Nebraska Legislature Tuesday announced a number of
measures that, according to UNL Interment Chancellor
Adam Butterbriclds, "will hopefully get those Omaha
monkeys off our back."
The Legislature's Higher Education Committee claimed
that by giving UNO the Temple EJg., 50 tickets to regu
lar season Husker football games, and a number of sociol
ogy professors, approximately 90 per cent parody would
be realized.
UNO Student Regent Sleeve Shoveit sail he was not
satisfied with the concessions and argued before the com
mittee for transfer of "at least 33 and one-half parking
spaces" to be moved by truck from UNL to the Omaha
campus.
NU President D.B. TouId-ir Varnish appeared to be
neutral on the issue, unless, in his words, "any money
goes out of my system.
Meanwhile, Committee Chairman Richard Marvelous
was seen with two, models, one of each campus, saying
eeny-mecnynninney-moe. Ife ended his in-depth study of
the two campuses by announcing parody could be
achieved by trimming $14 million from each campus
budget and transferring the excess to help finance the new
University of Nebraska at Hastings campus. He added that
any donations for the new campus, still in the infant
stage, could be sent to the new R. Marvelous Posterity
Library. . -
Numerous regents, who have nothing to lose from a
possible transfer of funds to achieve parody, said half of
UNL's Day Care funds should be given to Omaha to "take
careof those big cdy children
UNL's student newspaper, The Daily Nebraskan, called
the parody measures both "Marvelous and Fabulous',
until told three-fourths of the staff would have to re
register at UNO to aid a noticeable lack of skill with that
campus newspaper, The Hateway.
Although earlier calling the parody moves good, the
Daily Nebraskan staff denied stating that "those bastards
should get more than they deserve."
UNL Vice-Chancellor for Student Affairs Pen "mil
lion dollar smile Bader resisted the parody measures.
"We pulled them out of debt, gave them our good
name and now they want to be the best, he said. "I
could see their argument if we had a university that al
ready was the best -in anything, just anything.
NU Vice-President for Academic Affairs Free Samples
made no comment.
Included in the parody measures were:
Transfer of UNL swim coach John Reta to UNO.
" Transfer of Bessey Hall to UNO.
Waterproof steam- tunnels constructed from UNL to
UNO.
AS old back issues of the Daily Nebraskan to be
placed in Eppley Library.
A number of "trouble-making liberal arts profes
sors who want collective bargaining' to UNO.
-Dedication of this story to UNO.
Don't these letters look really lousy?
By Rob BEberts
Italics Make Lousy Letters, by Tyrone PograffzRanhome
Doused, New York, $855
This is the kind of rock-biting, bone-bending, eyebrow
raising book that comes around only once in a very few
lifetimes. Pograffz offers proof positive that, contrary to
popular opinion, setting a word in italic type does NOT
give that word added emphasis.
The book begins with a fascinatingly inaccurate history
of italics.
They were invented A LONG TIME AGO, he writes,
by 13 patients in a half-paralysis hospital ward. Those
patients whose right sides were paralyzed gained political
control over the others, the antler explains, and thus had
the privelege of writing the all-important press releases.
The fat, lazy, corrupt patients wrote while leaning un
caringly on their right sides, Pograffz shows. Their com
uuniques similarly were slanted.
.Pain;
Whenever some brave member of the wan questioned
the opinion of the slant fat cats, the authw ejes on, he
would hear pointless complaints of body-wide pain until
he went away. "It all aches," the usual response, became
associated with the slanted patients and their type of
writing.
The curiicued flourishes characteristic of this typeface
later, Pograffz writes.
"It wasn't REALLY long a-o, he explains, -but then,
it wasn't exactly YESTERDAY, either.
- . .
Although the author's major purpose is to put his
shoul&r to the eastward4esidng Otters and straiten
thara vp, fee h wining to take concession stands. ("1 stole
a popcorn cachlne test week, he admits in a footnote.)
Ih concedes, for exan:Ie, that italics vtre wtlkrd
by William Faulkner, that great author of the Southern
School of Incomprehensibility.
FAULKNER?
"Well, you know, I mean you got FAULKNER, right?
I mean, heck, FAULKNER, what can I say, really?" he
writes, sheepishly yet nobly.
Pograffz warms to his subject when he discusses the
aesthetic qualities of the hated typeface.
"GROWL, he writes, "I turn into a TIGER when I see
those letters! I want to CLAW the very PAPER on which
they are WRITTEN! I Jon't like them. Do you?
This is not a book for the so inclined. Pograffz's highly
flawed arguments temper his high-flown targets, thus
attaining a balanced whole. The book is excellent
var
.no
07C
ffODlit!0
Film takes hard look at diplomacy
A classic example of the filmmaker's art, Games Girls
Hay or Bunny Capers is a unique, yet realistic, approach
to world diplomacy. The film's message is a strong one,
and I'm sure it will have heavy social impact.
The theme of this film has been borne in hand many,
many times by many, many different people, but it has
never been handled in quite this manner.
The film deals with ths effect four young but strong
minded girls have on four important international diplo
. mats, and ihe film comes to some stiff conclusions.
The protagonist is Bunny, a wealthy and attractive
American girl who has teamed the ins and outs of di
plomacy from her father, the American ambassador to
England, v
Bunny is sent to a boarding-school in England while
hex father is in residence thare. At school, Bunny encoun
ters three other young ladlas whose interests in world
affairs are similar to her own.
..
Bunny, being African, is the moat tresdve and
sophisticated, in contrast to the three ethers, who, being
Eriiiah, are somewhat reserved in thair approaches. Bunny
is the catalyst to thair invoteement in international affairs.
She svtsts that by looking through a copy of the
paper, they could each choose one important internation
al diplomat and see what influence they could have.
Each picks her man, and the rest of the film shows
each girl attempting to influence her diplomat in a variety
of ways. This exciting portion of the film makes
one realize all the possibilities of world negotiation.
The movie is full of memorable moments: the bas
ketball game with the local boys boarding school, the
authoritative gym teacher being detained so each girl
can complete her rniason. -
It's truly one of the best offerings we've had re
cently in cinema. The acting is without a doubt actin,
and the f2m offers some very interesting and viable a
preaches to intematbad affairs. It's one, Lewever, you
mM not want to take the kiMies to, simply because of
the complexity of subject matter. This Bhn, more than
any other, teaches us to be firm in our resolve and to held
ouradvas erect.
A sequel to the flhn, Ccnrs Guys Itiy, h soon to be
released. And another film, currently playing with
Btszty Cipsn; called the Cpdy Sstdksrs is wt2
worth watching for its obvious sbcul merit.