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The political season has mercifully receded
into another year of dormancy.
Now the only hot air on campus is coming
from the warmth of the sun, not the mouths
of campus politicans. .
After a collection of challenges and counter
challenges, the parliamentary brouhaha
accompanying the ASUN elections of a month
ago has settled down.
The graduate students elected in the reflection
have been seated. -
The Hi-fated Coalition for University Reform,
has decided to act much as a monarchy in exile
they have elected ofilcersand stated goals, which
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J Liberals facing extinction;
may go the way of the dodo
By Arthur Hoppe
Legislation has been introduced in Congress to declare
the Liberal an endangered species.
Testimony before the House Subcommittee on Wildlife
and Other Forms of Recreation indicated that the Liberal,
which once roamed America in vast herds, may soon go
the way of the carrier pigeon, the whooping otter and the
slack-jawed anteater. "
Dr. Homer T. Pettibone told congressmen that he and
his fellow naturalists had been able to discover only a few
remaining colonies of Liberals in such widely scattered
areas as Beverly Hills, Washington D. C, Georgetown and
New York's upper West Side.
He said the Liberal is basically a nocturnal creature
which lives on hors d'oeuvres. He said those specimens
that survive appear to be suffering from malnutrition
because of the drastic dwindling of their food supply.
Dr. Pettibone blamed the dramatic decline of the
Liberal population on three factors: (1) overhunting by
pundits; (2) political climatologies! changes; and (3) the
Liberal's own inherent physical and psychological defects,
including a lemming-like death wish.
"The Liberal was certainly behind the door when
survival characteristics were passed out,' said Dr.
Pettibone. "Take a Liberal's heart. It bleeds."
As a result, he said, bleeding-heart Liberals are unable
to stand the sight of suffering. Whenever they see suffer
ing, he said, they throw money at it. Why is unclear.
Dr. Pettibone believes this odd behaviour is indicative of
their fuzzy minds.'
Even more peculiar, he said, was the Liberal's self
destruction compulsion. The Liberal seemed to have an
unerring instinct, he said, for choosing leaders that would
lead the herd into a swamp or over a cliff. Consequently,
he said, Liberals have all but run out of leaders. He said
this was probably a good thing. '
Now constantly under attack with scorn and derision, t
Liberals are attempting to adopt a new survival
mechanism camouflage.
"They try to disguise themselves as Progressives,
Populists or Economically Compassionate Civil
Libertarians,' he said, shaking his head sadly.
"Unfortunately, when one is attacked, it automatically
responds with a reflex action of the lower extremities,
thus betraying itself as a knee-jerk Liberal."
Dr. Pettibone dosed with an impassioned plea for
passage of the bill, which would establish Liberal Game
Preserves where Liberals could safely pursue their Liberal
games wMe subsisting on white wine and cheese.
"Otherwise, he warned, "the only specimen of these
warm, lovable, harmless creatures our children will ever
see will be a stuffed one in the Smithsonian."
The subcommittee, however, voted unanimously to kill
the bill. "You show any compassion for the downtrodden
these days," explained one Congressman privately, "and
' people may think you're a liberal
(Copyrht Chronic! Punishing Co. 137C)
consist mostly of watching to see what the "real
government, ASUN, is doing.
The Coalition could perform a valuable service
as a watchdog for students. In an age when ASUN
support from elections never exceeds 20 per cent,
and rarely comes close to that, it seems wise to
have more, than one "voice of the students."
Coalition members would be wise though, to
remember that they do not have an election
mandate behind them and they should act accord-ingly-in
the interests of the students and not as
personal power seekers.
At any rate, the enthusiasm they bring to the
role of student government watchdog is enviable;
with the attention they have pthered, the
Coalition should proceed and not lose any steam
, over summer vacation.
The ASUN act also seems to be tighter. The
Senate is progressing, as all Senates of the past
have, with pressing issues of importance, namely
dwindling faculty in the College of Business
Administration, as well as less vital issues such as
setting the "Nebraska-Colorado' game as the
football migration trip for next fall.
They also heard a report from a student
government representative from Indiana Univer
sity about sponsoring a computer dating service.
Apparently successful at Indiana, such a venture
might not seem appropriate for student govern
ment. But it might serve as means for erasing
debts from the student co-op effort.
Right now, the machine that was used for
making co-op cards, still sitting unsold in the
ASUN office, must be as welcome there as
Richard Nixon is in Washington D.C.
Another entry for the file 'The changing look
of education": Within the next five years, the
John Birch Society plans to open a four-year
liberal arts university in California. A spokesman
recently said the university is planning courses
of study in medicine, law, engineering and science
as well as the liberal arts.
. Vince Boucher
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letters to
Once again the Lincoln City Planning Commission has
postponed the McDonald's rezoning hearing scheduled for
April 21 . This postponement was at the request of
McDonald's and was for no apparent reason. This is the
second time the company has received a postponement
and their motive is dear to put the hearing off until
classes end so that fewer students will be in Lincoln to
protest the rezoning.
It seems plan that the City Planning Commission is
allowing itself to-be manipulated by a giant business
concern and it has ceased to be responsive to the citizens
it serves. . .
McDonald's has cnorsd t.vo opportunities to present
its rezoning arguments and it should not be given another.
As residents of Lincoln, 7 "and ; cf the University
community, UNL students should express their dis
satisfaction to the ccsnmissioa, the City Council and the
mayor. Not to mention Nebraska Book Store Co., owners
of the property in question, either by letter or phone call
- Only through positive, immediate action can students
show McDonald's and the city of Lincoln that we are not
going to be pushed aside and have our desires fesored.
ToniDichm
I am a former Nebraska swimmer. I was shocked and
disappointed when I saw the article concerning the
controversy between UNL swimmers and coach John
Reta. I was a walk-on three years a0 and was given a fair
chance to prove my abilities. The only reason I quit last
year was because I wasn't good enough for a scholarship
and I needed money.
Swimming is different from a team sport such as foot
ball, in that personal success is more highly regarded.
Reta was criticized for having a poor team. However,
swimming is 70 per cent hard work and 30 per cent talent.
The problem with these unhappy swimmers obviously is
one of attitude. These team members are self-defensive
and don't want to be looked upon as losers, thus they
place the blame on Reta. Coach Reta can't do too much
about an athlete who is ineligible because of grades.
As for recruiting, 1 came to UNL from California and
upon seeing the pool I ased Reta, "Where do we hold
meets? The Coliseum pit & the worst pool I have ever
competed in. -
As for the complaint about Reta ridiculing the
swimmers with "you guys swim like a bunch of girls,
maybe the women's swim team would be too much for
some of them (the women are not that far behind men in
swimming.) ;
I never knew of an incident where Reta spied on the
team, but I do know that some members could swim a
lot better if they didn't mentally prepare by partying the
niht before a meet.
i I think it would be good to include the 4unsucccssfcl,
dissatisfied swimmers in any team meeting. Tiith the new
sports center pool, the look is to the future, and coach
Reta should have a chance to prove himself in the new
facilities. After all, he did have eight consecutive state
championships wh2e coaching at Lincoln Southeast High
. Schcol.
However a bright future has been darkened. Recruiting
that would have been improved by the existence of the
new pool will be hurt by the publicity this incident has
been given.
MCurlyCu!p
The controversy concerning John Reta as a capable
swim coach has been going on now for almost seven years.
. The problem is not new. I swam for Reta three years ago
and at the end of the season the senior swimmer, (the
only senior swimmer) also talked to (Athletic Director
Bob) Devaney about the ineffectiveness of Reta., At the
time the answer was in effect that swimming was not a
money-making program and therefore did not merit any
attention. If money is the question, then discontinue the
swim program here and don't bother completing the new
pool. Anything would be better than retaining Reta as
coach here. ;
Reta has long used the old pool as a scapegoat. If
Reta has any initiative he would have gotten the Women's
Physical Education Bldg. pool, at least for meets. Many
Nebraska swimmers have expressed the feeling that they
could handle swimming in a bad pool but not with the
present coach.
Nebraska has had and will have many great swimmers.
Swimming is a rapidly growing sport in Nebraska. There
are many age-group feeder programs, especially ia Omaha
and Lincoln. But this stifling condition here wi2 continue
to send Big. 8 Conference swimmers to mere promising
schools. The year I swam, 15 people started the season,
while only eight completed it. Coach Reta cannot rest on
his championships at Lincoln Southeast Hh School
forever. The only kind of swimmer that could make it
here is one that can blank out everything that Reta says
and do it all on his own. Reta doesn't help at all and
usually hinders the progress of capable swimmers.-Dum?
Reta cr dump the program.
B.GD.