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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 19, 1976)
thursdayvfebruary 19, 1975 pago 6 daily nebraskan 5 i . ( I 1 ' pit 3i By Jim Williams' Holy tunaburgers, Big Brother is on the march! That's what I learned from an advertisement in the March "Car and Driver" (the fey, brilliant auto magazine I steal my good ideas from). i The ad, paid for by auto service industry groups, ex plained a proposed amendment to the Clean Air Act of 1970. It would add a five-year emissions warranty you would pay for when buying the car. The warranty, however, could be voided if you did repair work yourself. The ad urged support for a change proposed by legislators, including Nebraska's own Rep. John McColHster, which would shorten the hands-off period to 18 months. Although I abhor the trampling of individual rights im plicit in such legislation, its end product has taken on a hazy allure, like the sleazy barmaid at some dark, smoky dive. It's been a bleak week, people, A glimpse of the pit It was time for the communal Capri's spring cleaning. The leaking brakes needed repair; the engine was puny; the dented and cancerous front fender demanded anoint ment with soothing emollients; and the interior required purging of constipated trash, pop cans, books, uneaten food, greasy engine parts and small, amorphous biologi cal enigmas accumulated during the grim winter. Do-it-yourself tune-up and quest for rights ' "" s nrthfl fscTMchflnarkim? brake. f nicked uc a tune-uo kit at a store, parked the car in a convenient but illegal spot and went to work. The tune-up parts went in easily, but after all was done I found that the engine would not start. Two days, ope parking ticket, four new plug wires, a coil, eight outside consultants and a jump start from a purple Super Bee, later, we found the trouble-I had installed the distributor cap correctly. ' Some past gremlin had installed its wires in reverse or der, then compensated by putting the cap on backward. When I tidily corrected it, I had acutally. . . Confusion rampant Right. Now the engine ran like a son of a-er, Swiss -watch. I removad the brake master cylinder, cleaned its external seals and put it back. Still no brakes. , While wiping dirty brake fluid off myself I heard my Model United Nations group had received an Out standing Delegation award in my absence, along with an invitation from some young ladies in General Assembly that we stop by a party that night to collect it. I demurred. I was giddy from brake-fluid fumes. Next day, frsutrated but determined, I headed for Dean Bros. Lincoln-Mercury for some master-cylinder internal seals. The only transport was the brakeless Capri, all eearbox or the (screech!) parking brake. And then I found that I needed a different set of parts. Back to Dean Bros., this time in a borrowed Volkswagen piloted by an ex-drag-racing-leadfoot, then to Foreign Auto Parts, a nice little place decorated with BMW racing posters and Italian exhaust pipes. Teutonic Mind-boggle They had the right parts-$17 worth of German-made widgets and doodads. I knew what they all were except one-a little bottle holding about one ounce of pink liquid, cogently labelled "FAB Original Schafer Montage flussigkeit." No problem; the instruction leaflet explained that "Bei der Montage ist auf die richtage Einbaulage zu achten." Oh. It smelled like mouthwash, but it felt like oil, so I smeared it on all the widgets and doodads and installed them. Then some wag told me the little bottle's label meant "Quick-Drying Cement." I almost believed him. It was 1:30 ajn. and I was content. I had a beautiful rebuilt master cylinder for a car that did not belong to me; a checking account with $3 in it and a half bottle of peppermint brake fluid. . An ironclad, government-issue excuse for not touchine any car less than 5 years old, huh? Wait a minute, Senator so deceleration was done either with the (crunch!) -maybe we can work out a deal. Starts TOMORROW MOST ACCLAIMED! MOST TALKED ABOUT! MOST ENTERTAINING ! MOST POPULAR NEW MOVIE! C3 WOOD m X. ",.,'', . iwrf W-- tod "7 r A ,J a., n u t .' r aK lu Uiwli jwfrrnfi AMIWSFORMANFILM JACK NICHOLSON mVNE FLEV OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST , Stwriju LOOSE FLER'NER WILLIAM REDflELD 1 IMJ i 1 Ftpl I n hi Tt ''MO) f i)If i '1 x IT' i 1,1. Sill.... W'hWli HlJWWi"" W 1. : 1 1 . - a IF IB f 9 r- n y 00 y ox c.0 P v c - Jp-A ill m rt JuuLntru u ii 1 1 X ri ill fill I inn v: i 7-' 11 wJ CiJiU Li of ssSactcd Fa!3 Outer cho - Oany stylos Go!ors ffuii if rvin Otn i 1 n:- it if ti.; k rair i - o BIS TMF3 o c:t ci!iETi:i o TED'CS o ! LL LE3 K Vafos $22 to &l MuJoxlklo: 7lw L ,gficoa stora 1229 R S t '435-2504 iH3iiy4ij yjy8&y l mmm ' ' "'"' "S'"' 1 ' , l-T-TTI'---.'---'i'i;;1i', ,, i!'ni'"in: I f f i