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It's not exactly the round table-
At least that's how some view the possibility
of faculty collective bargaining on the UNL
campus.
In considering the issue, questions must be
asked-questions that pertain to quality of the
institution, benefits for the faculty, benefits and
disadvantages for the working of the university
and suitability of collective bargaining to the
Nebraska social milieu.
But students should not ignore the debate, tor
the questions involved concern them more than
they realize. Bargaining could directly affect class
size, tuition rates and general student input on
issues. In other ways, it could help.
Some light on the perspective of collective
bargaining in the American university system was
provided by a survey published in the Jan. 26
issue of the Chronicle of Higher Education.
The survey stated that collective bargaining is
a fertile field sprouting more and more unionized
educational institutions.
Sixty-nine percent of the faculty members
surveyed rejected the assertion that collective
bargaining has no place on a university campus.
Asked if they would vote for collective bargain
ing on their campus, 72 per cent said they would.
innocent! Would you sell your soul
bystander I to this pleasure-caterer. .
By Arthur Hoppe
It was a dark and stormy night. Mr. and Mrs. Fred
Faust sat by the fire, staring glumly at the books in their
laps.
"What about a piece of cheesecake?" said Faust
suddenly.
"What about our diet?" replied Mrs. Faust.
"I know," said Faust. "But it would be easier if we
could have a drink."
"It would only make us want a cigarette."
"Yeah," said Faust with a sigh. "Giving them up sure
put the weight on. But Fd sell my soul right now for a
piece of cheesecake."
"I would, too. But..."
There was a crash of lightning. The door burst open.
. "Mephistopheles Catering Service," said a slender figure
with a waxed moustache. "Who ordered the cheesecake?"
"Make him go away, Fred," said Mrs. Faust, shrinking
back in her chair. "You know cheesecake is fattening."
"Not our cheesecake, Madame," said Mephistopheles.
"Like all our delicious viands, it is unconditionally
guaranteed to be not only non-fattening, but unfattening.
The more you eat, the more pounds you lose,"
"You're selling health foods?" asked Faust.
'The ultimate. They go with our health gin, which is
good for your liver, and our health cigarettes, which do
wonders for your heart and lungs. Not a cough in a
carload."
"It must be expensive," said Mrs. Faust suspiciously.
Mephistopheles smiled. "I believe you mentioned
the price just before I entered. But no payments are due
for ten years."
"Where do I sign?" asked Faust eagerly.
"Maybe we should think it over," said Mrs. Faust
cautiously.
"And, this week only," said Mephistopheles quickly,
"we're throwing in permanent tans, slender waists without
exercise, naturally curly hair that never falls out, finger
nails that thrive on chewing, a permanent depilatory and
a free face lift while you sleep!"
The cheesecake was, indeed, delicious. The Fausts
holed up in their house to smoke, drink and eat to their
hearts content. At the end of two weeks they emerged
twenty pounds lighter and looking ten years younger.
Their friends were amazed. "How do you keep looking
so fit?" they would ask.
"Just will power," Faust would reply smugly, taking
a second eclair before pouring himself another brandy
and lighting a cigarette.
It was a dark and stormy night. "Just think," a happy
Faust said to a happy Mrs. Faust over dinner, "it's been
ten years since we subscribed to this catering service and
they haven't billed us yet."
"Glad you mentioned it," said a grinning
Mephistopheles, appearing in the doorway along with a
flash of lightning. 'The service is herewith canceled."
"But you can't," sobbed an ashen Mrs. Faust.
"That," agreed Faust with a shudder, "would be hell."
(Copyright Chronic! Publstdng Co. 1376)
Last fall 15 institutions voted for collective
bargaining while six defeated it.
Most of the universities that rejected collective
bargaining were small private institutions. The
preponderance of unionized faculty members
(about 90 per cent) are in state-financed schools.
Finally, the survey showed some interesting
things about the type of faculty member who
would accept collective bargaining. Faculty
members at universities of low prestige are more
enthusiastic about collective bargaining.
Professors who spend more than nine hours a
week in the classroom are more disposed toward
collective bargaining.
Faculty members who work in the "lower term
of academe" are more likely to favor unionization.
Faculty members at major universities
generally tend to reject collective bargaining be
cause they are secure in their power to influence
that university's actions.
They hold leverage in decisions about policy,
hiring, tenure and even in the case of salary
matters. Many of those privileges are conspicu
ously absent at Nebraska.
Unionization draws a line and tends to
emphasize the teaching role of a faculty member
over research contributions.
Unionization tends to decide on arbitrary
matters, for example, seniority, for decision
negotiating and leaves subtler concerns, like
individual merit, by the wayside.
UNL faculty members will have to decide
where they want to draw that line.
(Friday-Collective Bargaining: the student
perspective.)
Vines Boucher
d.n.
con
By Neil Klotz
The sun rises over "Great Issues in Applied Physics."
n.. a:- .f :it i i
will power, you again have experienced one of the most
hated collegiate states of consciousness: the all-nighter.
With an hour before the test, you eat breakfast, apply
more stimulants, and prepare to spew forth the Great
Issues. If only you could sleep for an hour. . . .
The test over, you return to your room and flop ex
hausted on the bed. But while your body says "rest me,"
your hands are shaking and your eyes are wide open. Time
for Sominex? Don't get caught dead.
After abusing your body to stay awake, you should try
to sleep as naturally as possible. Though downers or
alcohol seem natural, they can combine with whatever
you are using to stay upeven coffee to produce real
havoc. -
Up-and-down cycle
In an extreme example, if you're speeding to stay
awake and taking barbituates to relax, you not only risk
the effects of those killer drugs, but can also wind up in a
vicious up-and-down cycle that would take medical help
to break. While more drugs or alcohol might actually
knock you out, they 11 also cut out essential "dream
sleep," which researchers have found you need to feel
rested. Some alternatives are:
Upa and Downs. Folklore prescribes "a warm drink be
fore bed" for insomnia.. In this case, the folks have a
point. Most warm drinks Induce a mild state of low sugar
and make you sleepy. .
The same goes for quick influx of sugar. On an empty
or relatively empty stomach, a candy bar will give you an
initial energy bunt. But the rapid Influx of sugar
causes your body to overreact to balance the blood's
sugar content, withdrawing more sugar from the blood
titan you consumed. You then experience a sudden drop
in energy. People who eat a lot of sugar regularly experi
ence this up-and-down routine, and some become
diabetics.
Maintaining a high level of blood sugar will help you
keep awake. Try to stick with high-protein, low-re fined
sugar foods like nuts, seeds and fruits and youll need less
caffeine to make it to sunrise. During my own extensive
career of all-nighters, I tried, without stimulants, to stay
awake for several days by maintaining high blood sugar. I
was better able to deal with whatever academic Insanity
was called for without spinning out into Jittersville.
Garbled effect
Coffee, cocoa and Upton-variety tea lower the blood
sugar, but because they contain caffeine, the sedative ef
fect is garbled. Alternatively, those who have developed
tolerance to caffeine sometimes will find that coffee puts
them to sleep because of the blood sugar factor-a para-
dox that never ceases to amaze non-coffee freaks since a
half-cup keeps them awake for days.
Garden Variety Sleep. Warm milk mildly lowers the
blood sugar, and the calcium provide t bonus sedative
effect. Those who cannot digest milk should drink herbal
: teas which contain no caffeine. Mixed with a little honey
teas mads from chamomile, lady's slipper root and pep."
permint are good sleeping potions. Chamomile can also be
a powerful sedative by putting the herb in cold water and
brewing the mixture until black.
These herbs are usually available at natural food or
herb shops. If not, order them directly from the San
Francisco Herb and Natural Food Co., 376 9th St., San
Francisco, Ca. 94103, or from Celestial Seasonings Herb
Teas, P.O. Box 43fi7, Boulder, Co. S0302.
ii Ati ?e. tum of centuy. the infamous and now
1 1 1 bl mariiuana w legal tranquilizer listed in the
us. Pharmacopoeia. It was regularly prescribed with a
sedative or pain-killing drug. While marijuana's most un
healthy side effect currently seems to be jail, the other
fterbs wUl do as good a job of relaxing, if not altering,
your consciousness.
Malfunctioning risrm clock
Leaving Your Body Behind, While recurring insomnia
may signal some unresolved mental problem, a simple
case of all-nighter hangover largely results from your
Body s alarm clock being thrown out of kilter. Relaxing
your muscles in turn relaxes the internal organs, nervous
system and allows your body metabolism to reorient.
Warm baths relax muscles. Better yet is the yoga exer
. cise known as Savasna of "dead body posture." Lie flat on
your back on the floor, arms at your aides, and breathe
easily and slowly. Consciously tense and relax each group
ot muscles from the feet to tha calves, upper legs, thighs,
stomach, hands, arms, shouldsr, neck, jaw, face and fore
Head. Inhale deeply and hold the breath as you tense each
group.
Any method which shuts down the small computer up
on your shoulders that wants to keep clicking through the
essay question on Part B of Section One is helpful. As
you leave your body behind to relax, your mind can float
to places unknown. Tomorrow, tell yourself as your close
your eyes the sun will rise over tho Great iisues without
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