Wednesday, january 14, 1976
page 4
daily nebraskan
1 It's time to change the guard
dn.
n
The music plays on but the partners in the
dance change.
Or perhaps, the news goes on, but the news
persons involved with the paper change.
And with that change in personalities, the tone
and product of the Daily Nebraskan assumes a
new identity each semester.
What kind of a package has the Daily Nebraskan
put together for the first semester of the Bicen
tennial year?
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innocent Candidates travel in packs
to simplify primary chaos
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By Arthur Hoppe
The primaries haven't begun and already everyone's
complaining that there are too many of them and they
last too long. Nonsense. There aren't enough.
Nothing better tests a candidate's stamina, emotional
stability, intestinal fortitude and strong right arm than
six sleepless months of speeches, hecklers, cheese blintzes
and hand-shaking.
The problem is that one primary is pretty much like
another and the voter grows bored. "Seen one primary,"
says the voter with a yawn, "seen 'em all."
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The solution is organization. The candidates should be
required to travel in a group from one primary contest to
the next. And each contest should be designed to test a
different qualification for the Presidency. That way, in
stead of Monday Night Football, we c.ou!d tune into an
exciting program like this:
"Well, folks, here we are at the California Primary, the
last of die little, old schedule. As you know this one
tests which candidate is the most determined to make our
streets safe by chasing down criminals.
"I see the candidates are about to enter the starting
gates. As the officials prepare the mechanical pickpocket
they'll pursue, let's recap the highlights of this year's
exciting primary campaign.
"It began, you'll recall, in the snows of New Hampshire
with the Budget Balancing Contest. That's where
Goernor Reagan edged out President Ford by balancing an
87.2-pound budget on the end of his nose for a world
record 43 minutes-a truly remarkable feat.
"Fortunately for Mr. Ford, he was able to recoup the
following week in the Massachusetts Purse String Tighten
ing Contest by presenting the tightest purse strings the
judges had ever seen.
"And who will forget Jimmy Carter's magnificent
achievement in Florida where he set a new mark by down
ing 183 cheese blintzes and 14 humble pies while shaking
873 hands. Unfortunately, this sidelined him for the next
three primaries.
"It was no surprise to the experts when Covernor
Wallace copped frist in Pennsylvania's Little Man Con
test. The governor clearly showed he was best qualified
to represent the little man by scrunching into a box only
two feet long on each side.
"But he didn't stand a chance the next week in Texas
against Senator Scoop Jackson, who set a new record for
Standing Up to the Russians by standing up to three lady
Russian wresders for 87 hours and 16 minutes.
"I see they're about ready to start down on the track
so I won't name the winners of the Most Cliches in One
Sentence, Most Grassroots in One Campaign and Best
Money Grubbing awards.
"Suffice it to say that, as always, we Americans can
count on the demanding challenges offered by our system
of primaries to weed out the weak and faint-hearted and
produce the best possible President cf the United Ststcs
and leader of the Free World."
(Copyright Chronicle Publnhing Co. 1976)
word
Most visibly, our look has changed. Experimen
tation by Layout Editor Michele Schmal
continues and the reader should be warned to
expect some additional altering of Nebraskan
layout and graphics. It should settle down after
the first week. , .. ,,
Editorial columnists again will include the
syndicated column "Innocent Bystander" by
Arthur Hoppe, and a new addition, "Con-Pro"
by Neil Klotz which will look at students as
consumers. The column is distributed by College
Press Service and will run on Thursdays.
Two local editorial columns will return from
first semester: "The Word Unheard" presenting
a conservative view by Del Gustafson and "Vine
Street Irregulars," golden observations on
graduate student life by Michael Hilligoss.
A news addition will be the Monday feature
"Getting Ahead" which will be short items about
people in the university and their achievements.
Entertainment features will include "Half
Frames", a Monday compilation of television and
movie highlights for each week. Entertainment
Editor Diane Wanek and her staff will rotate as
authors of a general entertainment column on
Fridays. Also on Friday, "Up and Coming" will
provide tips on weekend attractions in Lincoln.
Record Reviews will continue under the "Hot
Licks" heading while book and film reviews will
appear on Wednesday and Thursday, respectively.
Sports Editors Dennis Onnen and Pete Wegman
will inaugurate a Wednesday feature on an athlete
of the week, "Husker Galaxy," and a Thursday
sports quiz.
Other sports columns will include Jim Zalew
ski's "One at a Time" on Wednesday and Larry
Stunkle's "On Record" on Friday.
Food Editor Lynn Roberts will rustle up some
"Tidbits" for the paper and columnist Jim
Williams will continue to provide a "Pitstop" for
driving enthusiasts.
Readers can still expect a daily crossword,
from The New York Times Feature Service and
other daily features: Calendar, "Short Stuff," for
news about organizations, and "Sports Shorts,"
for brief sports news.
The four-page special section, "Third
Dimension," will reappear on Wednesdays, under
Theresa Foresman's editorship. That section
begins today with a perceptive look at student
fees.
News Editor Lori Demo, Associate News
Editors Gina Hills and Rex Seline and Managing
Editor Randy Gordon and I believe we have a
diverse and informative product for UNL
readers.
The semester has begun and our readers are
back in school. Perhaps they should envy their
comrade "Ralph" on the sunny, crisp Colorado
slopes.
Vince Boucher
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes letters to the
editor and guest opinions. Choices of material
published will be based on timeliness and
originality. Let ten must be accompanied by the
writer's name, but may be published under a pen
name if requested.
Guest opinions should be typed, triple-spaced,
on nonerasable paper. They should be accompanied
by the author's name, class standing and major, or
occupation. All material submitted to these pages
is subject to editing and condensation, and cannot
be returned to the writer.
uniisindiOklahoma populist peddl
By Del Gustafson
In this Bicentennial year, it might prove edifying to ex
amine some of those chapters in the Republic's history
which have not been particularly noble; chapters which
might be overlooked in the general euphoria of the festive
moment.
One such chapter covers the dealings and misdealings
of Huey (Kingfish) Long, former governor of Louisiana
and Political Demogogue non pareil.
Viewing Depression-ravaged Louisiana, Huey believed
political gold could be made from the rhetorical exploita
tion of differences in wealth between the many poor and
the few rich; and exploit it he did.
With the slogans "Share our Wealth" and "Every Man
a King" ringing in his ears, the Louisiana sharecropper
went to the polls certain that his poverty was the result of
"them" rich crooks; certain Huey would restore him to
his rightful throne, with the unsurprising result that Huey
won election after election.
And Huey was right: No, not that by soaking the rich
he could end Louisiana poverty; he would have had to
discover gold in the Bayou to do that. He was correct in
the belief that an unbeatable popular base could be
created by promising poor people wealth he knew he
couldn t give; by appealing to those instincts in man
which cause him to desire some scapegoat for the ills
which beset him; by fostering hate, greed, and envy.
Though the Kingfish has died, his formula for winning
elections has not. A recently televised Walter Cronkite
interview exposed a candidate whom I fear has mastered
that insidious formula.
tu FtK. Har.ris- Oklahoma Populist, told Mr. Cronkite
that, if elected he would solve (1) unemployment and (2)
inflation. Fine Fred but how? How does the government
employ the unemployed without fanning inflationary
Easy, says Fightin' Fred, all we must do is make rich
people pay: Close the loopholes, raise the tax on hither
incomes. They been gettin' a free ride for too Ion 2
anyway.
However Harris conveniently omits that to employ
everybody in the United States, not only the "they TO
also die "we" are going to be taxed. y
If Fred approached every millionaire in this country
ing fishy'
wares
wrestled away 90 per cent of his income (and after
hearing him speak, one thinks Fred just might do that),
and used that money to finance public works, he still
hardly would make a dent in the unemployment rate. To
guarantee employment of the citizenry would necessarily
entail higher taxation for the working class a3 well as the
idle rich (it being the case that capitalist America has
ushered large numbers of the working class into the com
fortable temples of the rich.) .
Moreover, the tax loopholes Harris desires to plug be
cause they provide tax shelters for the rich, also do a good
deal of working class sheltering. (E.g., the capital gains
deduction, and the capital investment credit.) But Fred
doesn't tell the people that.
Most disturbing, the Fred Harris non-philosophy pin
points the enemy, the obstacle, the "they." All we need
do is get the Fords (Henry, not Gerald) and the Rocke
fellers, and Paradise is Regained. It is a damnable lie,
successful, it will lead to the class hatred and division
which can only shatter fragile democracy. The Republic
should reject that lie and its peddlers.