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friday, October 3, 1975
daily nebraskan
pageS
; - ; : the word
Fun City fairy tale ends in happiness
By Del Gusiafson "
Once upon a time there was a big city called Fun City, and
the people of the city elected a handsome, young mayor
who wanted to help poor people.
In pursuit of his noble dream, the mayor gave the people
of Fun City many free services such as public hospitals,
public transportation, low-rent housing, free college educa
tion, bread and circuses.'
He also hired many of the Fun City citizens to run these
I ffi5 I
Snappy Small Gap
AMI: 17
A team from Miami called the Hurricanes,
Cams to Nebraska prospecting for fame,
Big Red's Luck wiSI deal them a lashing.
The Blackshirts will follow with a cashing:
And the windless Hurricane? will go home in
shame.
r , In football. University of Nebraska students pay
close attention to Big Red's statistics. Another
statistic UN-L students are aware of Is Capitol
Small Car Parts' 20 per cent student discount
(with UN-L I.D.) ". "
611 N. 27th
Hours: 9-8 weekdays, 9-4 Saturdays
c
C3
CAPITOL SMALL CAR PARTS
programs. For friends who had no jobs, he created thcm
such as the Office of Apparel Industry Planning.
All went well in Fun City until the mayor made the
frightening discovery that money would be needed to
finance the services. This discovery saddened him, and,
being a good mayor, he would have made the money
himself. But no printing press could be found, so the mayor
was forced to tax the people and borrow money.
' You may ask how the citizens of Fun City reacted to
this tax-they weren't too crazy about it. But their mayor
was handsome, young and blue-eyed, so they paid.
The taxes and garbage kept rising, however, and many
people left Fun pity. .The few impoverished people who
remained in Fun City decided that rather than running,
away from welfare-supported bandits and tax collectors
across slippery streets swollen with stinking scum, it would
be better to hang the handsome, young mayor. Whereupon,
they did. (Justice is swift and certain in fairy tales.) ,
So a new mayor was elected, and, not wishing to cut the
services of Fun City too much-for that would be
impolitic-he set off for the capital city of the LancVof the
Brave. He heard many had received money from there
before. .
But a noble from Fun City intercepted the mayor and
his retinue in their journey and cried loudly so that ail
across the land could hear, "Oh, Fun City, city of garbage.
You have squandered your wealth and now desire the
citizens of the entire land to support your profligacy. Go
home and spend no more."
And upon hearing these words, the heart of the mayor
melted along with the rest of his body, the mountains of
garbage dissolved (some said this was magic; others that it
was free enterprise; .but the two are synonomous); the
people 'returned to Fun City and the brave noble was
acclaimed James I of "Buckley, King of the Land of the
Brave. Naturally, everyone lived happily ever after.
U)u11 never loiow how much good
you can do untilyou do it.
RE1.tC.K5N
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Grond Opening Spccis!
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That's the last data you can enrol I in the Student Accident and
Sickness Insurance' Plan endorsed by your
University ... a plan that provides
comprehensive hospital-surgical-medical
protection at
rates considerably
below what Mutual
charges for similar plans
issued on an individual
basis.
Make sure sudden and
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expenses don't disrupt your
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Find out why so many of
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fine program.
John Van Bloom end
Associates
1701 South 17th St., Suite 20
Lincoln Phone: 475-5302
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