Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 12, 1975)
couf master: if you hated '74, you'll loathe 75
HENRY JAQOSON. I'M IN A
PHONE mm HERE AND I'M
6ETHNS REAW TO CHANGE
WO W 6C0CJPERMAN
5Ult THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
UKtTO COME OVER ANP
6ET A PICTURE--
THAT'S CORRECT. I'M
OF WKt sno?ny ANP
HARNESS THE SUN.
WEIL, COULD WE
SET SOMETHING UP
AFTER THE KENNETH
"3 PI ill "3 11 B 11
m wl 1 Go li
As we join Scoutmaster today, he is in his Oval Office disguised
as the stuffy old President. His secretary, Lotus Lane (who doesn't
know his true identity), enters.
Lotus (worriedly): Chief, the economy's in such a terrible mess
that 143 politicians are now planning on running against you next
year. The press is demanding a statement. What are you going to
Scoutmaster: Well, Lotus, I guess I should say something
reassuring, like, "Prosperity is just around the corner." Or, perhaps,
"Two cars in every garage."
Lotus (angrily): On blocks? People are fed up with politics as
usual. Oh, how I wish Scoutmaster were here!
Scoutmaster (after she storms out): Humm, Lotus is right. This
sounds like a job for . . . Scoutmaster!
(He steps into a phone booth next to his desk and whips off his
stuffy old suit to reveal khaki shorts, shirt and a WIN button the
uniform of Scoutmaster! He has just finished reciting the Scout
Oath as the press enters.)
Reporter: Do you have a reassuring statement, sir?
Scoutmaster: No! Because I am honest, I must tell you the
country has gone to the bow-wows. Unemployment's up,
carloadings are down, sow belly futures are sagging and I've got a
Reporter: But things could be worse?
Scoutmaster: Yes! And, because I am trustworthy, I must tell
you they certainly will be. If you hated 1974, you'll loathe 1975.
Reporter: What will you do about it, sir?
Scoutmaster: Because I am brave, I have bravely submitted a
budget deficit of $5 1 billion to curb the recession. Because I am
kind, I have kindly asked Congress to fight inflation by raising oil
prices and soaking the poor.
Reporter: But if they don't, sir, the deficit will be $80 billion.
Scoutmaster: Because I am generous, I generously believe
Congress is as honest, trustworthy, brave, kind and generous as I
(Exit reporters, applauding.- Scoutmaster assumes his disguise as
the President. Enter Lotus.) '
Lotus: Oh, Chief, wasn't Scoutmaster wonderful?
Scoutmaster (smiling): Yes, Lotus. If things don't get as bad as
predicted, I can take the credit. And if the Democrats don't do
what Scoutmaster told them to, which they won't, they can take
Lotus (angrily): Sometimes you think like a crafty politician.
Oh, why can't you be more like Scoutmaster?
(Copyright Chronitle Publishing Co. 1975)
wat co you
ME AI, OR.
MY SOby'S IH
to get &me.
you arc emm
Bruce Nelson's article on Feb. 10 makes curious
statements abo"t th literature of scinc fiction,
Nelson seems to assume all literature must be as
profound and enduring as Shakespeare and Milton.
How much literature is?
In my opinion, many sci-fi's are entertaining
literature of escapist nature which often bring the
reader to sociological or scientific pondering. Sure
there's a lot of junk sci-fi literature but junk
literature, by all means, is not restricted to science
fiction. Doesn't entertainment literature hive any
relevance in the literary field. What's the beef,
Nelson? Isaac Asirnov's foundation trilogy I found to
be technologically sound and well-written with
well-developed plot and food for thought on the
sociological nature of man. Try it. If you don't like
sci-fi literature, Nelson, don't read it.
Down on the farm
This letter is in response to Joe Dreesen's article
"Creatures around Campus" (Daily Nebraskan Feb.
6). More specifically the "cornshuckcrs."
His first remark about 10 gallon hats was poorly
researched. I took a poll and found that no one on
the "farm" had a hat holding more than three gallons.
And as for crocodile boots, doesn't he know those
amphibians arc on the endangered species list and are
protected by law?
When it comes to good music, Chet Atkins is right
up there with the best of them, and his voice can be
heard echoing through the halls any time of day.
And if Dreesen was half the reporter he should be,
he would know that Earl Butz is even less popular on
the "farm" than is the NU Board of Regents when
they raise tuition.
As for making it down to City Campus, it is a
trying experience for all of us cowboys and farmers
who are used to friendly people who are not afraid to
say "Hi" to someone they don't know.
As for Dreesen's parting shot, I polled 51 persons
living in East Campus housing and did not find even
one jar or tube of Brylcreem or, for that matter, any
other "greasy kid stuff." We try to leave that to the
I would like to personally invite any of you sorry
souls downtown to come out to the farm this spring
and walk on the grass. You won't find any keep off
the grass signs out here.
Nixon now more than ever
I am overcome with enthusiasm about a rumor
currently circulating around Washington. It involves
the possible appointment of ex-president Nixon to a
Peking ambassadorship. It's about time someone in
the Ford Administration realized the self-exiled
The United States' detente with the grumbling,
obstinate Soviets has not been the same since Nixon
resigned. And Kissinger obviously needs someone
besides Ford to help mediate the wily Arab kings to a
reasonable position over oil. Ford and Kissinger have
even threatened war in the Middle East. Nixon would
negotiate for peace.
The American people have long been a tolerant
people with a great propensity to "forgive and
forget." Now more than ever, this human phiolsophy
must be extended to Richard Nixon.
Nixon should not be ostracized any longer from
politics, for he is the traditional elder statesman and
one, I might add, that is nearly irreplaceable. Nixon
must be immediately brought back to Washington,
given a modest salary and, at the very least, a position
of some importance under Kissinger.
The recent shooting by Lincoln police which
resulted in the death of a former mental patient
caused me considerable concern about the training
and competence of local police. A coroner's jury
found the shooting "justifiable homicide," but tills
verdict, if anything, reinforces my concern.
Depending on which story you hear or read, four
or six policemen were attacked by the victim with a
knife when they went to see him about a previous
incident. My question is not whether the man with a
knife was dangerous or should have been approached,
but about the amount of force necessary to
It is difficult for me to see how four trained
policemen could not stop one man with one knife
without shooting him four times, especially when
they knew beforehand that he was dangerous. If the
victim had a gun, perhaps the action taken would
have been justified, but only a knife was involved.
If a man with one knife is shot four times what
happens to someone wtih a baseball bat? Is he only
shot once? The incident raises troubling questions
about police training in the use of firearms and about
even issuing firearms at all.
Wednesday, february 12, 1975
Powered by Open ONI