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'Brilliant economic thinking' results in revolution
I ' ' rr 5 But the President was determined. That fall he announced hii
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The Ford giveth and the
Ford he taketh away
The second American Revolution took place on July 4, 1976,
following the President's third and largest Tax-Cut-Increase
(patents pending).
His first Tax-Cut-Increase, proposed in January of 1975, was
widely hailed as "brilliant economic thinking."
To fight recession, the plan called for cutting personal income
taxes $28.5 billion so that, as the President happily explained,
people would have extra money to spend.
To fight inflation, the President increased oil taxes $30 billion,
so that the people would have something- to spend their extra
money ons
Puslung up the price of gasoline a dime a gallon, the President
triumphantly explained, would force people to drive less. They
would then have more money to spend for the things they wanted.
And thus the Tax-Cut-Increase would solve recession, inflation and
the energy crisis all in one fell swoop.
Unfortunately, the things that people wanted were more gallons
of gasoline.
But the President was determined. That fall he announced his
Gigantic $100 Billion Tax-Cut-Increase. And, when nothing much
happened, he followed it up in the spring of 1976 with his
Super-Gigantic $500 billion Tax-Cut-Increase. By now, gasoline
was selling for $5.32 a gallon and they still wouldn't wipe your
windshield.
"That should do it!" said the President happily. .
But a similar scene was being repeated in every American home
across the land.
"I just figured out, dear," a wife would say, "that we could save
$43.12 by not going for our regular Sunday drive."
"Are you out of your mind?" her husband would reply. "Next
you'll be suggesting I take the bus to work. Why don't you sell
your car instead?
"How would I get to my bridge game? But with the price of
gasoline so high, we have to cut corners somewhere."
"All right, all right. I'll cut down to half a bowl of rice a day."
The President was understandably furious. In his rage, he made
a disastrous mistake. "For being bad," he announced angrily over
national television, "henceforth none of you can have the family
j,
car.
That, of course, was when the Second American Revolution
broke out. Mobs shouting, "Give us automobiles or give us death!,"
stormed the White House, deposed the President and wrote the
arthur hoppe
Second Declaration of Independence. It was a document every real
American applauded.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident," it read. "All men are
endowed with four wheels, 240 horsepower 2nd certain inalicn3ble
rights, including regular, Ethyl and the pursuit of the car ahead of
them."
It was a sadder but wiser ex-President who reflected on his fatal
error of judgment.
"What I should have done," he said thoughtfully, "was to ask
them to give up eating instead."
(Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co. 1975)
II Qt ttlS V
LS((S113)iWR
This week
Presenting
Mon. Recession nite
Cheap beer & bar drinks all nite long
Tues. - Ladies nite
!4 price drinks wevery complimentary
coupon
Wed. - Wirnmer Weiner Wed.
20 cent hot dogs all nite long
(L
vJU vJL LJ I V
Two-fers everynite 6:30-8:20
5 cent beer Mon.-Thur. 6:30-8:20
Also a Big Surprise
Come & see for yourself.
(Complete Gameroom
monday, January 20, 1975
daily nebraskan
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