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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 16, 1975)
editorial Devious American plan outwits Convoluted' Middle East minds Mark missed Dear editor, Wes Albers missed the mark in' his editorial on UNL residence hall rates (Daily Nebraskan, Jan. 15). Blame can be justifiably aimed at the Regents, not just inflation. Many students just don't' think the privilege of living in a UNL residence hall with it's restrictions is worth $1,235 for 9 months. Some administrators sidestep this issue with a simple Catch-22. If dorm rates were lower more students would live in dorms, but unless more students live in dorms, the rates go up. Absurd! Why do students move to off-campus apartments? Landlords allow more freedom than the dorms do: pets, no curfews, 24-hour coed visitation, and if of age, possession and use of alcohol. The dormitories close during Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring breaks, kicking students out for one to three weeks. If the Regents would eliminate some of the restrictions and discard the position of "in loco parentis," dorm living might be more attractive to students. Higher dorm occupancy would yield more efficient utilization of resources and help relieve the shortage of low-cost housing in Lincoln. Don't let anyone use inflation or the federal government as "scapegoats" lor local bureaucracy. Kirk Hemphill Apparently dismayed Dear editor: This is actually a reply to the final editorial by last semester's Daily Nebraskan editor, Jane Owens. An apparently dismayed editor-in-chief looked back on a semester's worth of editorials, and then issued a final bemoaning of the "blase, who-cares attitude" of UNL students. May I offer some thoughts and express them in the words of a (believe it or not) UNL professor? Basically, he said, "The big system we're all caught up in keeps Americans so busy trying to survive that they have little time for thinking about world problems." TV is more pleasant. . . when there's time for leisure. Times change. We live in-even the President admits it now-a "recession." Students now are more worried about just getting jobs. And people with jobs are more worried about just keeping them. There's little time to worry about people. Bert Sass Scene: The mysterious Middle East, where the convoluted workings of the human mind, boggle the imagination of any rational-thinking Westerner. Seated cross-legged around a hookah (a woman of low repute) are the Shah, the King, the Omar, three Princes and two Sheiks of Alamstale. The King: Have you heard the grave news? The nefarious Dr. Kissinger has threatened to unleash America's military might upon us unless we lower the price of our precious oil. The Omar: By the beard of the Prophet, I shall never surrender my principle! Nor, for that matter, the 7 and one-half per cent interest compounded daily, plus a free safety deposit box, at my friendly neighborhood savings and loan institution. The Shah: Pish and tosh! Dr. Kissinger merely said that to reassure Americans he has a solution to the problem. Which he hasn't. The King: But how can you be so certain, Shah, that the Americans won't attack us? The Shah (triumphantly): Because they are sending us billions of dollars worth of arms! Would anyone in his right mind, 0 wise King, arm his enemy to the teeth before attacking him? The Omar: Brilliant thinking! But why, then, dear Shah, are they arming us to the teeth? The Shah (frowning): We can only assume they do so that we may carry out our announced plans to attack their beloved and faithful ally, Israel. The King (nodding): Ah, I see. They are sending us American tanks and planes so that we may destroy Israel's American tanks and planes while the Israelis destroy our American tanks and thus creating an entirely new market for American tanks and planes. How fiendishly clever and greedy these Americans are! The Shah: That must be it. After all, how would America look in the eyes of world opinion, which is all it cares about, if it launched a massive invasion of our poor, militarily weak little countries? The King: Quite right. Why. I recall Dr. Kissinger clearly mentioned the problems they faced in Vietnam-the main problem being a shortage of targets for their mighty bombers. And if there's one thing our sandy, undeveloped countries are short on, it's targets. The Omar (thoughtfully examining his fingernails): Of course they are sending us $20 billion a year in oil profits to build palaces, highways and railroad tracks. arthur hoppe innocent bystander The King: You mean. . . The Omar: And they are depleting their own arsenal to arm us to the teeth. By my calculations, we will reach military parity with them by 1977. The King (stunned): By Allah, the convoluted workings of the Western mind! Gentlemen, we have no choice but to reduce the price of oil to two-bits a barrel and give all our weapons to Israel. Only then will we be safe from those devious Americans. The Shah, in a state of shock, emerged from the tent to be greeted by his followers. "O Fountain of All Wisdom," said one, "please tell us, your fans, how you have again outwitted those stupid Americans." That's when the Shah hit the fan. (Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co. 1975) ...and shop University Bookstore Why trudge several blocks in the cold? Buy your books and supplies right in the Nebraska Union-at University Bookstore. We have everything for the student. Textbooks for all your classes. Three locations to serve you faster. There's also calculators. T-shirt imprinting. Art supplies. Greeting Cards. Gifts.s And we're right in the Nebraska Union. Hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. with extended hours for rush periods. TIKItOOKt T3 fc1 EAST CAMPUS Union lower level UwvtMtrV CITY CAMPUS Union lower level ttfVItlfT MltfW II XTtOOKft j piuiwi .immwi "" iiiiihiiiuu 1 an thrusday, january 16, 1975 daily nebraskan page 5
