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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 16, 1975)
Devious American plan outwits
Convoluted' Middle East minds
Wes Albers missed the mark in' his editorial on UNL residence
hall rates (Daily Nebraskan, Jan. 15). Blame can be justifiably
aimed at the Regents, not just inflation.
Many students just don't' think the privilege of living in a UNL
residence hall with it's restrictions is worth $1,235 for 9 months.
Some administrators sidestep this issue with a simple Catch-22. If
dorm rates were lower more students would live in dorms, but
unless more students live in dorms, the rates go up. Absurd!
Why do students move to off-campus apartments? Landlords
allow more freedom than the dorms do: pets, no curfews, 24-hour
coed visitation, and if of age, possession and use of alcohol. The
dormitories close during Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring
breaks, kicking students out for one to three weeks.
If the Regents would eliminate some of the restrictions and
discard the position of "in loco parentis," dorm living might be
more attractive to students. Higher dorm occupancy would yield
more efficient utilization of resources and help relieve the shortage
of low-cost housing in Lincoln.
Don't let anyone use inflation or the federal government as
"scapegoats" lor local bureaucracy.
This is actually a reply to the final editorial by last semester's
Daily Nebraskan editor, Jane Owens.
An apparently dismayed editor-in-chief looked back on a
semester's worth of editorials, and then issued a final bemoaning of
the "blase, who-cares attitude" of UNL students.
May I offer some thoughts and express them in the words of a
(believe it or not) UNL professor? Basically, he said, "The big
system we're all caught up in keeps Americans so busy trying to
survive that they have little time for thinking about world
problems." TV is more pleasant. . . when there's time for leisure.
Times change. We live in-even the President admits it now-a
"recession." Students now are more worried about just getting
jobs. And people with jobs are more worried about just keeping
them. There's little time to worry about people.
Scene: The mysterious Middle East, where the
convoluted workings of the human mind, boggle
the imagination of any rational-thinking
Westerner. Seated cross-legged around a hookah
(a woman of low repute) are the Shah, the King,
the Omar, three Princes and two Sheiks of
The King: Have you heard the grave news?
The nefarious Dr. Kissinger has threatened to
unleash America's military might upon us unless
we lower the price of our precious oil.
The Omar: By the beard of the Prophet, I
shall never surrender my principle! Nor, for that
matter, the 7 and one-half per cent interest
compounded daily, plus a free safety deposit
box, at my friendly neighborhood savings and
The Shah: Pish and tosh! Dr. Kissinger merely
said that to reassure Americans he has a solution
to the problem. Which he hasn't.
The King: But how can you be so certain,
Shah, that the Americans won't attack us?
The Shah (triumphantly): Because they are
sending us billions of dollars worth of arms!
Would anyone in his right mind, 0 wise King,
arm his enemy to the teeth before attacking him?
The Omar: Brilliant thinking! But why, then,
dear Shah, are they arming us to the teeth?
The Shah (frowning): We can only assume
they do so that we may carry out our announced
plans to attack their beloved and faithful ally,
The King (nodding): Ah, I see. They are
sending us American tanks and planes so that we
may destroy Israel's American tanks and planes
while the Israelis destroy our American tanks and
thus creating an entirely new market for
American tanks and planes. How fiendishly
clever and greedy these Americans are!
The Shah: That must be it. After all, how
would America look in the eyes of world
opinion, which is all it cares about, if it launched
a massive invasion of our poor, militarily weak
The King: Quite right. Why. I recall Dr.
Kissinger clearly mentioned the problems they
faced in Vietnam-the main problem being a
shortage of targets for their mighty bombers.
And if there's one thing our sandy, undeveloped
countries are short on, it's targets.
The Omar (thoughtfully examining his
fingernails): Of course they are sending us $20
billion a year in oil profits to build palaces,
highways and railroad tracks.
The King: You mean. . .
The Omar: And they are depleting their own
arsenal to arm us to the teeth. By my
calculations, we will reach military parity with
them by 1977.
The King (stunned): By Allah, the convoluted
workings of the Western mind! Gentlemen, we
have no choice but to reduce the price of oil to
two-bits a barrel and give all our weapons to
Israel. Only then will we be safe from those
The Shah, in a state of shock, emerged from
the tent to be greeted by his followers.
"O Fountain of All Wisdom," said one,
"please tell us, your fans, how you have again
outwitted those stupid Americans."
That's when the Shah hit the fan.
(Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co. 1975)
...and shop University Bookstore
Why trudge several blocks in the cold? Buy your books and
supplies right in the Nebraska Union-at University
Bookstore. We have everything for the student. Textbooks
for all your classes. Three locations to serve you faster.
There's also calculators. T-shirt imprinting. Art supplies.
Greeting Cards. Gifts.s And we're right in the Nebraska
Union. Hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. with extended hours for
Union lower level
Union lower level
piuiwi .immwi "" iiiiihiiiuu 1 an
thrusday, january 16, 1975
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