J
r
ty 7 qnraJIHi.lH.1i1. " Sp.'
"Waiting in those gas lines used to drive me up the wali!
nar editor. '
This rnesr"?' W Crossed to t'-e nitwits who persist in
'. "'.klnn 2crnvi tha new! Dlowsd and seeded patches on our
A--J lUI ti V V " campus. Now, I realize you are all terribly busy, and that your
scneauies wiH not &iuw yuu iu waw o i r ..
Hojl areas. And besides, your fat, lead asses are difficult for you to
ZJfliP? carry even a few feet extra. But aside from your full schedules
vi x Li vd J and your obvious laziness, grass needs a little care and pampering
to get started growing.
is ft not possible for you to find a few extra calories in your
Religion in church
Council on Student Life (CbL) members onu
others were treated to a spirited debate last week
as self-described Christians, a concerned atheist and
an agnostic testified on proposed revisions in the
regents' policy statement on religion on campus.
Although the policy already is firmly footed on
Constitutional ground, four campus religious
groups are challenging it. They seek a broader
interpretation of the law. . .
The issue resurrects the old Constitutional
question of separation of church and state, which
would seem clear cut. Nebraska law, equally
obvious, additionally says there shall be no
religious observances on state property-whicn
includes UNL. .
In one of six revisions, the religious groups
would amend the regents' policy to say that
University facilities will not be available for any
organized activity if one cf its esser.tial features is
testimony to a captive audience. "Captive
audience" is the key phrase. Yet if the religious
groups are shooting for a radical interpretation of
the Constitution, one might also radically interpret
that they were violating their own proposal at the
CSL meeting. To an obviously captive audience
and in an organized presentation, two members
arguing for the proposal gave personal testimonials
about the difference Christ had made in their life.
The regents' guidelines should stand without
revision. Religious activities should be confined to
houses of worship, at least seven of which are
located near campus. Campus religious groups
should make a stronger attempt to relay the word
about The Word via sanctioned bulletin board
nsnp nr advertisements in camous publications.
Mary Voboril y
already overworked system to carry you around these areas I
agres that grass and brown earth are much nicer to walk upon
than cement, and I encourage you to do so. But please, give the
newly planted grass a chancel If you don't and it doesn't come
up, the halfwits over in administration will probably give orders
to have these barren areas covered up with great ugly slabs of
concrete, hundreds of bricks or those little white rocks.
Help save our campus from the creeping depth of "progress
and "civilization!"
Paul Edwards
Bar talk
where is
it at?
Author's note: Outsiders wonder why the campus elite
and intellectuals frequent certain bars and no others. I
would attribute ft wholly to the stimulating atmosphere,
particularly the quality of the conversation. I often think
people fail to notice, or just take for granted the richness
these places add to their lives. So here is a little reminder,
two views of the same typical evening. ,
View No. 1:
He tried again to explain, The words sounded hollow,
hell what am I talking about it for. It was getting late, the
bar was full, but he had managed to pirate a seat and had
been content, in the corner, pleasantly sipping his gin when
a fellow at the same table interrupted his thoughts with
questiax f.'ot questions expecting answers, but simply
questions. He dubbed the fellow his Inquisitor, and took
great care that his answers were equally meaningless. It was
OK, the game was passing time, until the inquisitor
stumbled onto a nerve. He started to answer, but stop-jri
short. The inquisitor never noticed. The guy was just
making talk. He seemed to ruv5 & need to talk. It had been
a strange night even before this interruption. The bar was
dark, but quieter than usual and not as smoky. He saw a
thin man in horn rimmed giasses come in aiJ m'm wuumu
hopelessly in the solid standing crowd. Then he was
distracted. He last saw the fellow downing his beer quickly
and walking out into the night alone. "What astrological
sign are you?" , , '
ohn micho
dsheo
3
f- . ' ft
His thoughts were interrupted again. What's the matter
with this guy anyway 7 'Take a wild guess", he retorted
The inquisitor thought. '
At that moment a police officer entered. The massive
blue and black uniform didn't seem to fit with the hnh
smiling head that protruded from it. The officer r.eyer
stoppad smiling through his entire visit, though he did shine
his flashlight on the floor to look for hidden joints.
'Ti! bet you're a Capricorn." He was at it egafn. "Yeah,
that's right", but the inquisitor was fos-t, talking.
He know it was time to leave. The people he'd been
looking for weren't corning, and so he left. The cold hit his
face, but he didn't mind. It felt good. The gin was keeping
him warm.
It was designed to be a quiet evening, but a drunk
inquisitor and a vague acquaintance quickly ended that
Inqu-Where is it at? do you know where it's at? Sometimes
I think I know, and sometimes I don't think anyone
knows. Where is it at? You are where it's at.
Acca-Oh yeah!, well, that could be true to you, or to my .. ;
mom, but to me it is in the soul of the people.
Inqu-Cee that's heavy, do you really believe that?, are
you happy, how long's your dick?
Acca-Not only do you jump to conclusions, but your
actions
are unplanned and unsuccessful. You lack sincerity
and have no class.
Inqu-You are talking about yourself so be careful. Do you
believe in revolution?, of the mind? Are you a homo
sexual commie dope fiend? I am.
Acca-Not only are your estimations incorrect, but you have
trouble communicating.
Inqu I me?n Acid, Grass. Smoking isn't much, I'm drunk.
Acca-Gee , . this is the strangest time I 've ever had here.
If that lacked a certain enlightenment, good, go back
and re-read it. Later the following conversation transpired.
View Ho. 2
Acca-Did you ever try hustling a girl here?
auth-Me?
Acca-Ya, did you?
auth-Oh . . . maybe one or two. (I lied).
Acca-I've only done it once.
auth-Well, I can't Imagine it being too difficult.
Acca-Well, no . . , but . . . well, they all seem so old ... I
mean
auth-Who can tell.
Acca-Yeah . . . well . . , thanks
I wasn't much help, and later yet when a rapidly sinking filr!
in a heavy frame wanted a seat I was even less helpful.
Rap Sink-'Ms this chair taken?" no answer
Rap.Smfc-"Can ! have this chair!!"
tiO. ... I said without explaining that it was savod
for a funny girl with a neat smile who liked woo! socks.
R2p,S!nk-"Ob ... ... to lnquisitor)Would you hand me a
chair
from the cioset?".
Inqu- The closet's a nice place when you're drunk.
Yeah I added.
Perhaps not a total loss.
page 4
dally nebraskan
monday, april 22, 1874