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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 20, 1974)
ayde f we call them the len Suggestions.. And, lo, it came to pass that an evi! drought did sirike ihe ianu. And as the desert sun doth suck up a shallow pool, it dried and withered the sustenance of the beasts of the field the people did treasure the most, their auto-mo-biies. For in those days, a man's wealth was measured by the size and numbers of his auto-mo-biles; and he did cherish them above all other things upon the face of the earth. And, for want of sustenance, the auto-mo-biles did sputter and die. And the people, in their suffering, did raise up their voices to the heavens. Some cursed those who produced the sustenance; some cursed those who sold it; and some cursed their rulers. orthur hoppe J Li bWOs 1 5 And they went unto soothsayers. Said one: The sustenance shall soon return. Said another: Thou shall not see sufficient sustenance again within all the days of your lives. And some of the people raised red or yellow or green banners to ward off evil spirits; and all hunted and fought through the hours of the days for the few precious drops that remained. And srs thsir suffrir, trv?y did raise up one of their number called Simon; and they did make of him their Czar. And Simon did come down from the summit of Capitol Hi'! end spake unto the people, saying: Keep unto thee this covenant and there shall be sustenance for all; and thy flocks of auto-mo-biles shall increase unto the days of they children's children. And he commanded them, saying: Thou shalt have no other Czars before me. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Czar in vain should the pump go dry as thou pullest up. Thou shalt observe the alternate days of the month, odd for odd, even for even; but for the 31st day, which shall be known as a free-for-all. Remember the sabbath and keep your tanks full. Honor thy father and thy mother and do not borrow the family car. Thou shalt not kill, even the man who bargeth ahead of thee in line. Thou shalt not commit speeds in excess cf 55 m.p.h. Thou shalt not siphon. Thou shalt not alter thy gas gauge to bear false witness. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's economy car, nor his Jeep can, nor his license plate, nor any means of sustenance that is thy neighbor's. And all the people answered with one voice, and said, All the words which the Czar hath said will we do. And there was rejoicing in the land. But, !o, it came to pass that all the banners and covenants and commandments could not bring' forth sustenance whereof there was no sustenance. And the auto-mo-biles did yet sputter and die in the fields. And the people did turn from their Cior find curse him, saying. What good are hi Ten Commandments? And a wise man did" rise from among them; and !s apks, saying: Well, they worked as good as the first Ten. (Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co.) jr!'!ip!!!j'!ff '"";! iiiiilili ,ii M. w8 ffhelimthif if v im ;)hliijl ii!ii!iiii Ml 1 ombudman If cHid oil ifHoi pulled together EL BROOKS AaU m&m few Waste w in Ms now sjJU ell n a o o A. 5 . O 1 !0 Vfe v A Ml orin w i Jr . '"V T. o E? P O p fhaf cfJe you "Trie tjzz Smgret VSn O Q Wedding bands, engagement sets selling at old (pre-inflation) prices 50 savings We specialize in custom-made jewelry. i 851 STUART BUILDING - LINCOLN, NEBRASKA 6S&08 i -H. JU.IH lit Jl. 'KTT. . J. J 11). 4W?X VmHtSttVH A F 1 i 4 i i V Pre-Summer Special on Name Brand Swimsuits 70 -80 off and Denim Jackets, Pants and Skirts X iKimftilW:.. .i.MJIWSSK-v . rf,v-'.JS'-'-''.--.puw...j - a 'i f two--: i t i if r - j '-; I.J t i ; I S i 1A off ' ! f pago 5 Wednesday, march 20, 1974 daily nebraskan
