Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 14, 1973)
Allllll flfcll Ml -M. j(SI kit Li KW Rose orthur noppe friday, december 14, 1973 r ..-and -for- uou'Dick somcthinq r h- ujhicrvto put everything-you. J? 2.?.. Mzrry , 1 1 -x CHS. 1?; ; i ni f i flalBlr m' inn 7 h-nr Dear President: I, Joe Sikspak, American, take pen in hand to remove a fly from your ointment. Don't can Rose Mary Woods. First, I thought you should. "Any secretary," I tell Paddy down at Paddy's Place the other night, "who pushes two wrong buttons on a tape recorder and then talks 18 minutes on the telephone during company time without saying a word should get the axe." "You are leaping to conclusions, Joe," says Paddy. "They are leaping on me," says I. "Look. It is three days after Watergate, see? Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean have their very first conference on this distasteful subject. Then Haldeman goes in to report to the President And what do they talk about on that erased tape? They are talking. Rose Mary tells the judge, about the President's schedule and tourism. Like, I figure, what country to flee to." "You got to have faith in Rose Mary, Joe," says Paddy. "Faith," says I, "and begorrah to you, Paddy. One week she tells the judge she was 'very carefully instructed' not to erase any tapes and she 'very carefully didn't touch that side of the machine.' And the next week she says when she turns to answer her phone, she very accidently pushed the red 'record' button and then very accidentally pushed the black 'start' button - all in one swell swoop." "We all have our bad days, Joe," says Paddy. "So the machine now is recording while she is on the phone 18 minutes," says I. "Only all it picks up is a hum. 'Maybe it was a high intensity lamp,' says the White House. 'You know, one of those ear-splitting light bulbs.'" "The White House is wrong there, Jo;," suyb Fa'idy. " I ho " clue is: who was calling?" "Okay," says I. "Who?" "The President," says Paddy. "He spend 18 minui :s tellin-j Rose Mary What a great country this is." "I will buy that," says I. "But what about the hum? ' "That is Rose Mary, Joe," says Paddy. "She dos what sire always does when the President addresses her: She hums Ths Star-Spangled Banner. " "On one note?" says I. "She has a very narrow range," says Paddy. "And vUn sin; silently hangs up and silently discovers her mistake, sh.-j cjoe:. straight to the President. 'Sir,' she soys, 'I havo at acluitjlly destroyed the crucial jape that would fr'" p---"" your innocenceNoTproblem,' says he. 'There's plenty r.i . iv vvi iere that came from.' So you see, Joe, she's a cool, silent, honest secretary who keeps things humming. Which is th u;st kind," "It's a fine story," says I. "But . . ." "If you don't have faith in the President's persons! secretary, Joe," says Paddy sternly, "who can you have faith in?" "The President?" says I. "Well, Joe," says Paddy. "You got a point there." So don't sack Rose Mary, President. Wh.-n it comes So helpful secretaries, like you once suid, "she's one in i million." And I'll buy that. Which shows the faith I got in you. TiUy yours, Joe Sikspak, American Chronicle Features Publishing Co. 1973 CHRISTfTIAS WRAPPING Let us wrap all your Christmas Presents for You. Save time and trouble. . . The Spirit Of Christmas, captured in Clay at Cliff's (iivi' tin Spirit of (IhristiiiaN with a figurine bv Bortin. These lovely elny M'lilptureH eapture the beauty and innocence of childhood, and the Hortin l;iiirineM. One of the many originals from Cliffs. Cliffs Gift Shop 1201 "O" TIN ft 1 fin . J l,i 1 TAC0S m t f W.rr iv Every Saimcmy U and Sunday 17th and Van Born Sunday thru Thursdiy f 1111 Friday and Saturday 11-12 daily nebraskan page 5