SLPP platform
a real platform
by Steve Strasser
Ask for a platforrrLyou get a platform.
The Daily Nebraskan asked parties entered in the
ASUN elections to submit their platforms. The Get
Off Your Apathy (GOYA) party and the Unity and
Progress (UP) party produced paper platforms full of
promises. The Surrealist Light People's Party (SLPP)
is the only one that submitted paper promises of a
platform.
In SLPP's words: "The platform shall be placed in
the coliseum (sic) on the main floor with bi axial
(sic) symmetry relative to the goal posts. The
platform shall be 60 yards by 90 yards. The platform
shall be of a reinforced structural concrete base, with
a Mozzola (sic) oil top surface contained by a
semi-permeable latex membrane."
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We include the unorthodox spelling because,
frankly, SLPP's statement is so confusing to our
comparatively orthodox minds that we're not at all
sure the unusual spelling and sentence structure
throughout SLPP's thesis are unintentional.
The SLPP may be conversing on an existential
level too far removed from that of your average,
unstimulated Daily Nebraskan staff writer. High, high
in the clouds.
For instance, if someone came up to you and
promised to "press for enviorements (sic) that nuturs
(sic) actualization (sic) and neuron optimisation
(sic)' would you criticize their spelling?
SLPP speaks from heights of irreproachable
authority. Consider: "There are those who will speak
to the issues. SLPP wishes to speak to those who issue
the issues." That has the same ring as "Ask not what
your country can do for you ..."
Controversial issues dissolve before SLPP's logic:
"Some have spoke (sic) of the need for a day-care
center. Surrealistically SLPP can say the day can take
care of itself."
You can see why we don't presume to correct
4
SLPP's spelling.
SLPP candidates for executive positions are
Shams t Jack Mason, president, and Willie Wonka,
first vice president. Two SLPP candidates are running
for the ASUN senate.
r
doily ft
Frfitnr.in.r.hiaf: Tom Lanworth. Manaeino, Editor: Cheryl
Wcstcott. Naws Editor: Michael (O.J.) Nelson.
Special Editor: Jim Gray. Sporti Editor: Dave Sittler.
Photography Chief: Gail Folda. Nioht New Editor: Dave
Brink. . . .
The Daily Nebraskan is written, edited and managed by
students at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. It is
editorially independent of the University faculty,
administration and student body.
The Daily Nebraskan is published by the Publications
Committee on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday
throughout the fall and spring semesters except holidays and
vacations. .
Copyright 1973, The Daily Nebraskan. Material may be
reprinted without permission if attributed to the Daily
Nebraskan, excepting material covered by another copyright.
Second class postage paid at Lincoln, Nebraska.
a Th. rvilu Mahrackan34 Nebraska Union14th &
R StreetsLincoln, Nebr. 68508. Telephone: 4024722588
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Wille Wonka . . . SLPP second vice presidential candidate.
Shaman Jack Mason ... the SLPP presidential candidate promises to
build a platform.
photos by Willie Wonka
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Ronald Afc&ar
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Continuous From 11:20
Ends Thursday N
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daily nebraskan
thursday, march 8, 1973