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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (May 5, 1972)
bart becker gnostic First of all, the bad news, The Bossman for next semester at the Daily Nebraskan tells me this is the last Gnostic Turpitude of all time. Destructive progress, to my way of thinking. Now for the good news. This is also the last Daily Nebraskan for the semester. You'll have to be ignorant of everything going on in the world of UNL until next fall. And that might be good considering some of the stuff that's graced these candid pages for the past four months. So let's take a gnostalgic stumble down memory lane and recall all the fun and good times we've had this semester. And won't that be fun; and bring tears to your eyes and gas to your stomach. The remainder of this column (before we hit the asterisks) will be chronologically backwards because that's the way the files are kept down here. Just this last week the Arts and Sciences faculty projected a collective question mark, said, "What, Me Worry?" and did nothing about the group requirements. Group requirements, for those of you who aren't aware of them, mean that all Arts and Science College students must operate on the buddy system. All A&S students must move in groups of six people between the hours of 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. I know it sounds like a silly requirement but you'll never get out of school if you don't abide by it. A headline on Friday, April 28, yelled "Cornhusker falls victim to changing times." Many students missed the importance of this story. What it actually dealt with was the change from standard to daylight savings time and a Nebraskan who was scheduled to be executed at sunrise. As part of a secret ceremony for reaching Nirvana, this unnamed individual had volunteered to be shot at sunrise the day before. He had been planning to fool the Nebraska firing squad by predicting that the sky would grow black just before dawn. However, daylight savings time brought dawn an hour early and his scheme was thwarted. Que Sera, Sera. And only a few short weeks ago the Daily Nebraskan proved its alliances with Washington, D.C., by coming out in favor of re-electing Richard Nixon as dog catcher. It was an unprecedented move in the history of collegiate journalism and one that will bear up under the pressure of the years. If Nixon is elected to the post, you know who's getting the credit. Us, that's who. Nixon's last offical speech in pursuit of the position, by the way, was given in the early 50s and is now popularly known as the "Checkers speech." In it he indicated his empathy with dogs, so you know he's the one. Just a few days before that, protest was the word. And to prove it, nearly the whole University went to classes walking backwards. It was also rumored, though never documented, that many students put their gum on the bottom of their chairs in a symbolic protest. In a move designed to placate the protesters, the president urged that individual states outlaw 4iah jiaeah diahrrea, note to the copy desk-I don 't know how to spell it and I can 't find a dictionary. What I mean is bad, uncomfortable poop. For a week in April, campus circles were in an uproar over a predicament incurred by one of their members. He swelled up mysteriously and was rushed to student health. Student health officials lived up to their motto: "Out goes the bad blood, in goes the good blood," and had the husky sophomore back on his bicycle within a week. On April 12, the Daily Nebraskan ran a graph on page one which indicated the VD rate on campus was higher than the enrollment. The chart further showed that everyone on campus should have contracted a social disease by the following noon, and that about 96 per cent of the total enrollment -both male and female-would be pregnant by the first of May. The Daily Nebraskan has not received further word on the epidemic. Around the first of April the Lincoln Gazette was born in frustration and a mimeograph machine. It's purposeVto find out just what the hell's wrong around here and we think something is." On March 23 the staff of the Daily Nebraskan emerged en masses from the Union basement, blinked once and returned. Early in March Can O' Beans Comics grabbed the literary world below the belt and hasn't turned it loose yet. However unnamed authorities grabbed the Cao O ' Beans staff in a similar location, and forced the jokesters to utter a serious, "Yipes!" At midnight on March 10, the Board of Regents reportedly held a secret meeting to discuss what color of socks to wear. After considerable goosing by the members, the board . decided to table the sock question. They did vote, however, to include a short phrase on all NU stationary. 'The worms go in, the worms go out, the worms play pinochle on your snout,' expressed our feelings exactly," a spokesman said. Jerry Rubin visited the campus as part cf the controversial World in Revolution Conference. "What's going on?" the pert former revolutionary was heard to ask. "We dunno," someone was heard to answer. Near the end of February . UNL students threatened to reveal they knew the difference between beys and girls to their parents if they weren't allowed to smooth the lumps out of their mattresses. Chancellor Zumberge muttered something about packing the dissident students in ice or hot, wet comr. esses until they "melt away." Student leaders were heard to complain about "funny smells" and things that go "bump" in the night. On Valentines' Day, ironically, a pert UNL coed was awarded the honor of Block and Bridle Club queen. She earned the honor by selling 600 hams to her neighbors. After the crowning she reported that she had had a religious experience during the ham sales. "They spoke to me," she laughed. "They said, 'What'U you be doing after work, big girl.' I just laughed and ran away." . .. On February 1, it was erroneously reported that the state of Nebraska had been purchased by the UNL biology department, to supply beef for a department picnic. Not so, said a spokesman for the department. "We wanted to put it in. formaldehyde," he chuckled. On Christmas Day it did not snow. A lot of stuff's going on this weekend and until the end of the school year. A lot of stuff will be going on after that, too, but I probably don't know about much of it. Friday and Saturday in the Union Small Auditorium and Sunday at the East Campus Union, Union Weekend Films is presenting The Boys in the Band, Next Tuesday Union Special Films is offering a bundle of entertainment at Sheldon Gallery. Salesman, Mingus (a portrait of jazz composer Charles Mingus), The Blues According to Lightning Hopkins, and a local film To the Loved Ones at Home are scheduled. Friday afternoon from noon to nine the East Union will sponsor Cornstock II. The free outdoor concert will feature seven rock groups. You can't beat the price. University Theater presents Shakespeare's The Tempest opening Friday. And next Wednesday Creedence Clearwater Revival will headline a show at Pershing that will include Tony Joe White and Freddie King. On Monday, the 8th, the Union people are offering a free (with student I.D.) showing of The Reivers along with selected shorts from Charlie Chaplin, W.C. Fields, and Abbott and Costello. And Dr. J. Thomas Ungerleider of the President's Commission on Marijuana and Drug Abuse will be on campus Tuesday. May 9. Hell hold a rap session at 11:30 in the Schramm Hall Lounge and will give a speech at 3:30 in the Union Ballroom. And Tonight! ! ! 8:30 to midnight at Henzlick Hall (You know it as University High) a dollar will let you into a showing of the 1956 movie, Rock A round the Clock starring Bill Haley and the Comets. Lots of rock 'n roll music will be provided by 45 r.p.m. discs. A dress and dance contest will be held and a Poison Ivy Queen chosen. Don't miss it or you'll kick yourself. ;;--f ; J ''vjM.JgPfe - y THE DAILY NEBRASKAN PAGE 5