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There goes the old election. Sen. MoGovern has sewn up the
Presidency in one of the most brilliant tactical moves in
American political history.
He called an argumentative lady he met on an airplane "a
horse's (forgive the expression) ass."
"Maybe I said something I shouldn't have," the senator told
Chicago Daily News columnist Mike Royko. "But at least this
will lay to rest the line that I'm too nice to run for President.'
Exactly.
Up to now, this has been the only handicap that has
prevented the Senator from sweeping the field. Every time he
walked into a campaign gathering, like the East Perth Amboy
Cocktail Party and Virgin Sacrifice Festival, all present would
agree he was the most intelligent, knowledgable, articulate,
charming, compassionate candidate they'd ever met.
"Golly," they'd say, "isnt he a nice guy!"
And then they'd start talking about whether Ed Muskie
could lick George Wallace.
For the truth of the matter is that the last thing the
American people want in the White House is a nice guy. Look
at the record. With the possible exception of Eisenhower, who
got in because he was a war hero, we haven't had a nice guy in
the White House within living memory.
Whatever kind words you'd use to describe Presidents
Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon, "nice"
wouldn't be one of them. No, the really nice guys were Adlai
Stevenson, Barry Goldwater, Hubert Humphrey and other
losers.
But the nicest of all is McGovern. Perhaps it's cruel to
discuss a man's handicaps in public, but you never met a nicer
guy in your life.
Being intelligent, he of course recognized this problem early
on. And for the past year he and his staff have been working
to overcome his innate niceness.
Initially, plans called for the senator to shave his head,
paste on false, beetling eyebrows and file his lateral incisiors to
sharp points, thus improving his image. But the senator was
simply too nice a guy to employ such subterfuges.
Then, at a high-level staff meeting last May, it was decided
his only hope was a genuine and complete personality change.
The staff set out to goad him into it.
4t5ood morning, stupid," they'd say by way of greeting.
"Boy, you sure blew that speech in Sioux Falls last night."
At first, the senator would nod and sigh and reply: I guess
you're right. And after all the work you put in on it. I'm
awfully sorry."
But the constant goading, plus the strains of night -and-day
campaigning began to tell. Last month, he crossed a bridge by
reportedly firing a secretary who told him he was too old to
wear long sideburns and mod ties. And it only took him 72
minutes to tell her she was sacked.
So now, after heaven only knows what incredibly agonizing
inner struggles, it's clear McGovern has at last triumphed over
his own base niceness.
From here on in we can count on him to shout at
underlings, shaft enemies and double-cross allies - to behave,
to put it simply, like a real President of the United States.
It should be an inspiring example to all of us to see how a
man can overcome his handicaps with naught but will power
and sheer grit.
Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co. 1972.
Hop right into 4 plaided pants. ..and
leave the driving to us. We know the way. . .
just follow our criss-crossed creations... a
plaided paradise.
REGISTERED TRADEMARK Of THC H CORPORATION. ATtRNTA. GEORGIA
WESTERN DAYS
sponsored by East Union
ApriUl-16, 1972
Tues., April 1 1
1
-KSTSSSW
jJM, r iw ntai dm,, to ku iiMimtMi Mt mote fei kaw
3:00 Games & Fun at U.N. Tractor Testing Track
3:00 Men's Bale Stacking & Women's Pyramid Building Contest
3: 1 5 Men's & Women's B ike Races
3:45 Men's & Women's VW Races
4:00 Coed Piggy Back Relay
4: 15 Coed 11 legged race
4:30 Men's & Women's Tug 0' War
5:00 - 6:30 BAR-B-Q WENTERTAINMENT $1.10
8:00 -12:00 Dance by the Squires
Wed. .April 12
3:30 Hyde Park-Chief Growling Bear, City Union
7:30 Style Show Burr Basement, Free prizes
Thurs. & Fri.
Quarter Horse Show Coliseum State Fair Grounds
Friday
Rodeo 7:30-Fair Grounds
Saturday
Rodeo 1:30 & 8:00 State Fair Grounds
Sunday
Appaloosa Show Coliseum State Fair Grounds
East Union will present Chief Growling Bear
Displays will be in the East Union all week.
Western films will be shown in the Union lounge all week too.
FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 1972
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
PAGE 5