WITH MAX SHULMAN
(By lk umtiur qRallf Round Uh Flat. Boy . . . Dobit Ciliii . . . de.1
Roommates; or Know Your Enemy
You'd think that with all the progress we've made in the educa
tion game, somebody would have found a cure for roommates by now.
But no. Roommates remain as big a problem today as they were when
Ethan Mather founded the first American college.
(Incidentally, despite what you've heard, Harvard was not the
first American college. Mr. Mather started his institution almost 100
years earlier. And it was quite an institution, let me tell you! Mr.
Mather built schools of liberal arts, fine arts, animal dentistry and
flintlock repair. He built a covered stadium for lacrosse that seated
200,000. Everywhere on campus was emblazoned the stirring Latin
motto CAVE MUSSI "Watch out for moose." The student union
contained four bowling alleys, 21 horoscope machines and a 97-chair
barbershop.
(It was the barbershop, alas, that brought Mr. Mather's college
to an early and total end. The student body, alas, then as now, con
sidered haircuts an Establishment hangup, and nobody set foot in the
barbershop. The chief barber, Truscott Follicle by name, grew so de
pressed staring at 97 empty chairs that one day his mind finally gave
way. Seizing his vibrator, he ran outside and shook the entire campus
until it crumpled to dust. This later became known as "Pickett's
Charge.") .
But I digress. We were exploring ways for you and your roommate
to stop hating each other. This is admittedly no easy task, and yet it
is not impossible if you will both bend a bit, give & little.
I remember, for example, my own college days (Berlitz, '08). My
roommate was, I think you will allow, even less agreeable than most.
He was a Tibetan named Ringading whose native customs, while in
disputably colorful, were not entirely endearing. Mark you, I didn't
mind so much the gong he struck on the hour or the string of fire
crackers he ignited on the half-hour. I didn't even mind that he singed
chicken feathers during his prayers at dawn and dusk. What I did
mind was that he singed them in my hat.
To be fair, he was not totally taken with some of my habits either
especially my hobby. (I collect airplane tires and had, at that time,
nearly 400,000 of them in our room.)
Well sir, things grew steadily cooler between Ringading and me,
and they might actually have reached the breaking point had not we
each happened to receive a package from home one day. Ringading
opened his package first, smiled shyly at me and offered me a gift.
"Thank you," I said. "What is it?"
"Yak butter," he said. "You put it in your hair. In Tibet we call
it gree tee kidttuff."
"Well now, that's mighty friendly," I said and offered him a gift
from my package.
"Thank you," he said. "What is it?"
"A can of Miller High Life Beer," I said
"I will try it at once," he said and did.
"Not bad," he said.
"It is even better when you open the can, 1 said end showed
him how.
He consumed it forthwith. "WowdowP he cried. "Never have I
known such mellowness, smoothness, ambemeas and generalized
euphoria!" '
"Have another," I said.
"Oh, I must not!" he cried. "Obviously a beverage of such splen
dor is made only for rare occasions and is therefore dificult to obtain
and costly beyond the reckoning of it."
"Ha, ha, the joke is on you," I said. "MFler High Life is brewed
every single day by plain decent folks just like you and me and is avail
able everywhere at a price well within the most modest of budgets."
"Golly," he said. "Sort of makes a man fed humble."
"Yes, don't itr I said.
Then silently we clasped hands, friends at last. I am proud to car
we remain friends to this day. We exchange cards each Christmas and
each Fourth of July, firecrackers.
We, the plain decent folkt who brew MHUr High Lift Beer for plain
decent folkt like you, alto bring you tint plain decent column every week
through the tchool year.
Lutheran
Lutherans dedicate
The growing congregation
of the University's Lutheran
Chapel should enjoy a more
varied program as well as new
approaches to their faith
according to Rev. A. J.
Norden, one of the chapel's
pastors, thanks to the new
worship area and remodeled
student center dedicated
Sunday afternoon.
Norden and Rev. David
Dressel, the other pastor,
served as liturgists during
special ceremonies dedicating
the $36O,000's worth of
improvements. The worship
Latin America trip focuses
on Mayan, Spanish cultures
South ot the border.
down Guatemala and
Columbia, South America way.
That is where home economics
and agriculture students are
headed as part of a two-week
tour sponsored by the Peace
Corps and the students
themselves.
The group will study the
Mayan Indian culture of
Guatemala and the Spanish
culture ot Colombia, according
to William Colville, professor
of agronomy, who is
co-ordinating the trip. The
agricultural oriented trip will
also visit the University
10:30 a.m.- Computer Science
I, Nebraska Union
10:30 a.m.-- World in
Revolution "Charles
Goodell" Union
12 noon-- World in
Revolution-Luncheon,
Union
12:30 p.m.- Inter Varsity
Christian Fellowship, Union
2:30 p.m.- Ad Hoc Committee
on Campus Disorder, Union
2:30 p.m.-- Deans Search
Committee, Union
2:30 p.m.-- World in
Revolution "Donald
Michael" Union
3:30 p.m.- Union Weekend
Film Committee, Union
"-vf
r - -----. : . - A j
chapel additions
'new approaches'
area now seats 400, double its
former capacity. Two new
offices, including a student
work office, a library-lounge, a
multi-purpose area, student
study rooms, a relocated
kitchen and an enlarged
apartment area all part of the
"Chapel on the Mall's" new
look.
University Lutheran
Chapel's first building at its
present 15th and Q location
was dedicated in November
1952.
The sermon at the Sunday
dedication ceremony was
delivered by Wilbert J. Fields.
agricultural mission in
Colombia. Students will stay
with rich and poor families to
learn first hand how they live.
Two credit hours will be
given for the trip if the
students register for Ag 12. an
independent study course.
Students will be prepared tor
the course through weekly
seminars, sessions in basic
Spanish and pointers on
writing articles for their home
town newspapers.
Anyone interested in going
on the trip which will begin
June 3 should contact Colville
in Keim Hall.
3
3 0 p.rn.--
Builders -Projection
U n i versity
Union
4 p.m.- Union - Foreign Film
Committee, Union
4 p.m.- Builders - Calendar
Committee, Union
4:30'p.m.- Tassels, Union
6 p.m.- Towne Club, Union
6 p.m.- Special Services -Tutoring,
Union
6:30 p.m.- Engineer's Club of
Lincoln, Union
7 p.m.- Unicorns, Union
7 p.m.- United University
Party, Union
7:30 p.m.- Prayer & Praise
Group, Union
7:30 p.m.- Math Counselors,
Union
8 p.m.- University Coalition
Party, Union
-,. . .inn uh in xxjj-JSRai
additions
Secretary for Campus Ministry
of the Lutheran Church -Missouri
Synod, in St. Louis.
The building was presented for
dedication by Rev. Vernold
Aurich of Lincoln, Executive
Secretary of the Synod's
Nebraska District. Rev. F. A.
Niedner of Seward, the
district's president, officiated
in the dedication rite.
Dennis Demmel, president
of the chapel's campus
congregation, also spoke.
HELP WANTED
Need dishwasher to work daily at
meal time. Call 4359955, for
Treasurer.
Two Fuller Brush routes available
earning $4 6 per hour.
Guaranteed $2 05 oer hour. Call
477 6814,489-4729
ADVERTISING SALES PERSON
needed immediately at DAILY
NE BR ASK AN Good pay tor
good workei Experience in sales
preferred. Car needed. Apply
DAILY NE B R ASK AN office.
Room 34. Nebtaska Union.
FOR RENT
Comfortable room reasonable,
bath, shower, kitchen privileges
Near campus 466 2421.
FOR SALE
King Size Water Mattress $39. ppd.
Finest Quality, guaranteed.
Manufacturer seeks local
distributor, Contact Steve
Boone, Industrial Fabrics Inc.
735 So. Fidalgo St., Seattle,
Washington 98102, (206)
763 8911.
NEW GARRARD SL72B
TRANSCRIPTION
TURNTABLE, complete with
base, dust cover, Shure high track
cartridge, $143 value tor $99.
434 0542.
KLH Model 20 compact stereo
system. Includes two KLH
acoustic suspension speakers,
integrated AM FM receiver and
Garrard automatic turntable.
$250. Dial 489 7957 or
472 3283
'68 VW But Radio, tape deck.
$1,850. 477 3598.
MISCELLANEOUS
Sewing and alterations. Call Pat
Moore at 799 2616
WATCH & CLOCK REPAIR
CAMPUS BOOK STORE 13TH
& R.
English Riding Lessons, 475-4131.
MATH TUTORING
Evans Learning Canter, 1601 P
Street. 435 2168, tuition $5.00
per hour.
PAGE 6
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
MONDAY, MARCH 22, 1971
