Disappointment forgotten j Ovation greets Devaney tux J:.k s - WITH MAX SHULMAN ( IA anlAor tf Roll ftirnxi (At Flag. Boyt . . . Oow Olll't . . . tc.i The Beard of Avon Some English teachers insist that Shakespeare couldn't possibly have written the plays attributed to him because the plays are so full of lofty poetry and he was but the son of an ignorant country butcher. "Faugh!" say I. What does being a butcher have to do with poetry? It so happens that my own butcher, Wally J. Sigafoos, who never went past third grade has written some of the loveliest poems I ever saw exquisite things like "Hail to thee, blithe suet" and "Prime ribs do not a pot roast make" and "How do I weigh thee? Let me count the thumbs" and many, many others, too numerous to list here, in cluding "La belle ham sans merci" and "They're hanging Danny's cleaver in the morning" and "Look on my rump, ye mighty, and despair." I am pleased to say that Mr. Sigafoos will publish a slim volume of his verse next spring, called "No Man Is a Brisket." Watch for it. So let's have no more snide allegations that genius is confined to the upper classes. In fact, the greatest genius the world has ever known, Isaac Newton, was the son of a humble second baseman. (Not only humble, but also unemployed because baseball didn't get invented till a hundred years later.) But these lowly origins didn't stop Newton from making his great discoveries, culminating of course in the third law of motion : "For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction." How true and eloquent these words still are! Take, for example, Miller High Life Beer. Have a sip of Miller; that's the action. Now what is the reaction? Pure pleasure, that's what. Pleasure, delight, contentment, chuckles, twinkles and wreathed smiles. And why such a happy reaction? Because you started with such a happy beer! Miller drinkers know their beer is gloriously unique. There simply is no other like it. How can there be? For more than 115 years Miller's marvelous brewing formula has been a secret known to only one man in the entire world Miller's chief brewmaster and believe me, there is absolutely no way to sweat the secret out of him. Not only is the formula written in an unbreakable code, but it is also written in in visible ink! Aud don't think you can make the invisible ink visible by using heat; it so happens the formula is written on an ice cube. But I digress. Shakespeare's most important play is, of course, Hamlet or, as it is sometimes called, A Midsummer's Macbeth. This play tells in living color the story of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, who one night sees a ghost upon the battlements. (Possibly it is a goal he sees; I have a first folio in Shakespeare's own handwriting which frankly is pretty lousy.) Anyhow, Hamlet is so upset by the sight of this ghost (or goat) that he stabs Polonius and drowns his fat cousin, Butt Malmsey. Thereupon the King gets sore and banishes Hamlet to a leather factory, hollering, "Get thee to a tannery!" Thereupon Ophelia refuses her food till Laertes gets sore and sends her to a restaurant, hollering, "Get thee to a Deanery !" Ophelia gets sore too, but she has nobody to holler at except her little dog whom she chases out of the castle, crying,"Out, damned Spot!" She is arrested and fined twenty farthings for cussing, but Portia, in an eloquent plea, gets the sentence reduced to life im prisonment. Thereupon King Lear and his three daughters, Patti, Maxine and Laverne, wishing to restore peace in the realm, decree a 'day of feasting and squat tag. Everybody has a perfectly splendid time till Hamlet returns disguised as Banquo's ghost (or goat). Well, nat urally they all get sore when they see Hamlet and pretty soon there is a whacking big fight in which Hamlet kills whoever is around. Finally Hamlet is himself killed by Brer Bodkin, the preacher. The play ends with the little dog Spot reciting these immortal lines as he digs a grave for Hamlet: Thou wouldst, if couldM, undo thy wrontn, poor Dane, Thou wouldst recall thy blows and take thy kicks back. For now thou knowtt that he who would hit friends retain Should stab them not, but buy instead a Miller Six-pack. Yea and verily. A nd tarry not, good friend, for once thou triest Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers, thou' It scorn to change thy slalt with kings! Get thee to a brewery! by JIM JOHNSTON Nebraskan Sports Editor Bob Devaney has been Ig nored by the American Foot ball Coaches Association as its coach of the year. A disap pointment, no doubt, to Devaney. But such disappointments seem unimportant when one receives a warm reception as did Devaney before President Richard M. Nixon's address at the NU Coliseum Thursday afternoon. Students, faculty members, regents and members of the Nebraska legislature paid tribute to the Cornhusker coach with a standing ovation as he entered the stage. ''It kind of gets the adrenalin flowing a little," said Devaney after the convocation. "The way the students reacted to the whole situation meant a lot to me. They greeted the team as champions and acted graciously toward the Presi dent" Devaney, who has never won the coach of the year award, placed fourth in this year's voting which took place before post-season bowl action. Charlie McClendon of Louisiana State and Darrell Royal of Texas tied for the honor this year. Devaney said he was "a little disappointed" at not being named coach of the year. "But this warm reception really meant a lot to me. It's great :o know that you have so many good people behind you." Devaney termed President Nixon's visit to the Nebraska campus and the presentation of a plaque to the football team "the greatest honor ever bestowed upon the Athletic Department at the University of Nebraska "This means a lot to the players, to the. University and to our ccaching staff," con tinued Devaney. Devaney, who created more of a stir in the audience than did Nixon himself, is in Lincoln for the first time since departing for Miami Dec. 24, 1970. He did not fly back to Houston Thursday evening for The end This is the last issue of The Nebraskan for the semester barring future Presidential visits. Publication will resume Feb. 2. Radio Station KFOR and their Co-Sponsors invite von to attend the m KFOR Bridal Forum on Wed. February 3rd 7:00 in the evening at Pershing Auditorium Please register for your invitation at any of these Co-Sponsors: tea Simon t Sent CfcatOM loflevr Tswn and Apartments Powell Jewelers J. C Penney Armstrong Farnitoro Massachusetts Mutual Life Ins., Co. Boomers Printing I.GJL Stores First National Bank of lineal LacAe Daerr Wlf ami Beauty Salon Tyrrell's Flowers Congas Edhelm & Blomgren Photographers Esthtr HagL Human Receptions Conroy's Bakery Steppes Lincoln Tour and Travel Program Music Courtesy of Dietze Music House the banquet. "I'm just going to stay here and get to work," explained the Husker coach. And that's just what he did. Devaney went immediately to his office in the Coliseum following the speech by the President "We have a lot of work to do," smiled Devaney. "And, besides, the President instructed that now we have to do the same thing next year." And there will be a next year for Bob Devaney and his Cornhuskers. That notion of President Nixon's that Devaney should run for public office in the state was quickly tossed aside. "That's not what I'm going to do and I have never had any aspirations to do so." Football is Bob Devaney's life. And, despite the vote by the Football Coaches Association, Nebraskans greatly honored their No. 1 coach at the Coliseum Thursday after noon. It was a great tribute a tribute meaning more than any vote by the nation's coaches could come close to matching, ching. Prokop can be Regent, resident Regent Robert Prokop was informed Wednesday that he can legally continue to serve as a resident at the University Medical Center while serving as a Regent An opinion furnished by Warren C. Johnson of the University's law firm said the Nebraska Constitution does not prohibit him from holding both positions because his employ ment at the Medical Center preceded his election to the Board of Regents. The only limitation, ac cording to Johnson, relates to the code of ethics for Regents which says in part that no member of the Regents shall have substantial financial or personal interest in business transactions of the Uqiversity without disclosure of such in terests. Since Prokop's Medical Center salary is constant, it is unlikely that any financial transactions would occur ac cording to the opinion. Education reform leaflet circulated A leaflet is being circulated on campus to find out the ex tent of student dissatisfaction with the educational system at the University. The leaflet asks students who support educational reform to write their names, address and phone number on the bottom of the leaflet and send it to the Education Reform Office, 345 Nebraska Union. PAGE 6 THE NEBRASKAN FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 1971