Rag spoil
Time now for the Rag's annual Academic
Awards, presented to acknowledge excellence ia .
performance by players in the Great Movie House
-of Life. ..
Category: Best'
Supporting Chancellor
This coveted award goes to Vice-Chancellor
. Grrrrr for his past portrayal of Gentle Ben and
his forthcoming new role in the ongoing comedy
series "Gentle Ben goes to the City."
Category: Top Manipulator
This award goes to kid actor Buster Brown
for two performances. The first, as Super
Manipulator in the ongoing saga of "C.S.L." The
second performance is his forth-coming movie
"How to Ignore the Peter Principle" a griping
story of how a .young boy goes above his level
of incompetence to be the new head Grrrrr in
the never-never land of Student Affairs.
Category: Best Color Mov(i)e
This award goes to cinema director Walt
Strlng-a-long for help in cast-selection for the
movies "Centennial College" "Student and
Graduate Assistants Selection."
ors AA
Category: Best (Police) Action
A new category, this award goes to Capt.
Gade for placing the new star M. E. Narc in "
the movie "Getting A Head in Lincoln."
Category: Best Coincidence
The award, given to the director who makes
two interesting facts appear the most coin
cidental, goes to Bob Defanny. His production
was a six-part documentary in which concessions
at home games were granted to Queens Food
House. Mr. Defanny owns many, many clams
worth of stock in the House.
Category: Fastest Striking of Sets
This new award is given to the outstanding
stage manager for rapidity in closing down the
show. This year's award is for Goyne Fisher,
B.M. (Business Manager). The movie for which
he won the fast set striking award is "Sweet
Charity," the story of a group of villainous youths
who tried to hustle money by selling popcorn
at home football games.
by limy B. Riated
Category: Biggest Cast
This year's award goes to the Innocents
Society for their movie "Manifest Destiny." Next
year, it is reported, this group will be tackling
a more ambitious project: "Gunners over
Nebraska."
Category: Best Actor
Clifton Batchelder wins the Best Actor Award
for portraying a rational human being. Terry
Carpenter was a close second in the balloting,
but the Academics decided Terrible Terry was
not even trying to act rational.
Category: Worst Audience
East Campus wins this award. The audience
won the contest by tracking more cow-shit into
the theater than any other group on the campus.
Second in the balloting was the Individualists
for a Rational Society, which managed to spread
around that which the East Campussers tracked
in.
V
YELLOW RAG
by JIM GRAY
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MONDAY, MAY 4. 1970
MSB
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THE DAILY NEBRASKAN