Dribbles from Chairman N
Former President Milhaus will address
ill fellow Americans this evening on all
your favorite elitist national television
networks and interest-conflicting radio
stations.
Informed White House sources con
jecture that the President will apologize
to the American public for the tragic
coup that befell this wonderful, great,
fantastic country of ours over the
weekend.
Acting President Leonid Breznhev Is
also expected to apologize for sub
versively unplugging the switch to all
U.S. nuclear armour.
Milhau3 is expected to apologize for
not having any American troops
ivailable to defend the beautiful shores
of the this once great land of ours.
"I thought we would be safe with our
troops stationed everywhere else but on
our shores," Milhaus allegedly said with
tears flowing from his eyes while he
petted his last two friends on the earth,
Pat and Checkers.
Acting vice president Spiro said In a
press conference Sun. that he had never
said that he would rather be dead than
red. "That is nonsense," Spiro vehem
ently shouted.
"Actually, Lenny Is a pretty nice guy,"
Spiro told newsmen.
Spiro said that top priorities Include
deportation of Milhaus to his beloved
resort areas of Parrot's Beak and
Fishhook, Cambodia.
Let them drink water
by SCIIADRACQUE BUSIIIDO
Dally FIMt Staff Writer
Union drink prices have been
raised $1.35.
New prices of $1.50 on
regular drinks and $2.00 on
large drinks will go into effect
September 1, according to
Candy Uningham, Union Board
President
We were one of the last
places In town with prices this
low," Uningham said. "A
fifteen cent drink costs the
Union just slightly less than
that to serve. We have to make
a profit somewhere, just to
keep going."
He said the Union staff
recommended the price hike at
a recent Board meeting. "We
were not coerced," he said.
"But, we were faced with the
alternative of raising prices or
discontinuing most of the
Union's services to students."
The Board president said he
hoped prices will remain stable
during the 70-71 year.
Union director 111 Bentlt was
not available for comment
from his Bimini Island
retreat.
If a beamtty parlor
tn a box.
K. , ,
The Norelco Home Beauty Salon 25LS is a
Shaver plus 10 different beauty attachments. .
You can get a close, fast, very gentle shave on
your legs and underarms.
Then change attachments and manicure your
fingernails with our uniquely styled nail file and
buffer. Or pretty up your cuticles. Change again,
and you can massage your scalp or your face. Or
you can apply cream deep down in your skin. Or
use it to do a lot of other things to make you look
better.
Yhe Norelco Home Beauty Salon. It has every
thing a girl needs to be as pretty as she wants.
lorec
9
1970 North
Ama.lcan Philip. Corporation, 100 Eat nd Streat, New York. N, V. 10017..
a.-.
. WANTED
Ken Wald
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
When you know
it's for keeps
All your sharing,
fell "your special memories
will be forever
'symbolized by your
diamond engagement ring.'
If the name,1
Keepsake is In the ring
and on the tag,
you are assured of
fine quality and
lasting satisfaction.
Th engagement diamond
is flawless,
of superb color and
precise modern cut.
Your Keepsake Jeweler
tias a choice selection
of many lovely styles.
He's listed In
the yellow pages
under "Jewelers.?
JPIAMOND NINO
'f j i ?
flu Iram f 100 1 $10,000. T.M R.g A. K NnrfCwnMfl h, tif. 1191
j HOW TO PLAN YOUR ENGAGEMENT AND WEOOING
I Plnn Hud ntw JO rg boolM, "running Your Ingjgtmnnr nj Wtjdino"
H Btg Irid I KMpitk look hlf prict. j ;o
.1
KflMAKI DIAMOND DINGS. IOX 0. IYHACUJI. N.. I Hot
IT
... ?C
1 if V '
FRIDAY. MAY 1, 1970
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
iii
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