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Pulling it out of ANUS
. ' i f l - vl WW i iv v .Ijh&wiwmwrJ
by Dan Ladely, photographer of erotica
From the seclusion of his campaign headquarters,
Alan Siporin stonily eyes his political future
after his ANUS defeat.
by'LEONARD TWEEDY
Yellow Rag Staff Writer
An attempted coup d'etat of
ANUS by the editor of the
Yellow Rag and a hippie was
thwarted today by a lack of
a quorum in the ANUS
Senate.
The newspaper editor and
the hippie, Alan Yiporin,
rushed into the Senates
chambers, located in an old
broom closet in the Union
basement, shouting, "We're
going to liberate our ANUS."
One senator replied that the
two had the wrong room and
that the bathroom was down
the hall.
The sudden entrance of the
editor and Yiporin startled the
senators, most of whom were
sslccp.
"Stick up your hands," the
editor commanded ANUS Half
Vice-President, Bob Duffer.
"This is a coup d'etat."
Duffer, making a cameo
appearance in the Senate,
replied, "You can't take over
the government today because
we don't have a quorum."
After the attempted cout d'
etat the Senate settled down
and continued its every day
business of doing nothing.
Steve Tiwalled, ANUS king,
gave a short speech in
which he said, "I know ANUS
is currently suffering from
constipation. But we have
nothing to fear but fear itself,
plus the Regents, the ad
ministration, the faculty, the
students, the Yellow Rag, . . ."
Bronx Communist party cell tea and dance -buy, and etc.
by AND ETC.
Yellow Rag Start Writer
"A concrete, and I don't
mean hard, plan to end all
America's social problems"
was outlined to students Friday
by Fenton DeSade, National
president of the United Ar
chconservative Party.
Speaking at the Union
Ballroom, DeSade called for
the return of the United States
to Great Britain.
"Think of the advantages,'
DeSade said. "As a colony we
would have- none of the
problems of an independent
country. No one could blame
us for pollution or social in
justice or anything for that
matter."
He explained that if the
United States became a colony
of England, it would be
England's job to keep the
peace.
"Of course they could not do
this," he said. "When the
British sent in forces to control
the disturbances we could take
our case to the United Nations,
with films and tape recordings
proving we were being per
secuted by a decadent colonial
power."
The country could then
demand freedom from the
British and have a revolution
without the inconvenience of
overthrowing its own govern
ment, DeSade explained. That
way revolutionaries can be
patriots," he said.
Calling on Nebraska's con
servative traditions, the ar
chconservative leader urged
students to write their
congressmen. "I've been
convinced they are on our side
anyway, but we need to keep
pushing," DeSade said.
The speech ended abruptly
as members of the Daughters
of the Amerikan Revulsion
streamed into the hall chanting
"Hippie Creep" and shouting
threats at DeSade.
The archconservative leader
quickly removed his coat and
tie revealing his campus
disturbance contradisguise, a
grimy pink sweatshirt reading
"Electrocute John Dos Passos"
on the front and "Bronx
Communist Party Cell Tea and
Dance Buy Tickets Here"
on the back.
DeSade escaped unhurt.
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I Want to be an editor? I
Here's your chance. Apply now for the Daily Nebraskan Staff at the
Student Activities Office, third floor Nebraska Union. Salaries range from
$150 to $165 per month.
The Subcommittee on Publications will interview students applying
for these five senior staff positons on the fall 1970
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Editor
Managing Editor
East Campus Editor
News Editor
Business Manager
Interviews will be held Thursday, May 7, between 8 and 11 a.m. in the
Nebraska Union.
Incidentally, if you've had secret ambitions to be a publisher, apply note,
same place, for a position on the Subcommittee on Publications. The selection
committee will hold interviews starting at 11 a.m. on Thursday', May 7 in the
Nebraska Union. To be chosen are a freshman for three years, a sophomore
for two years, and a junior for one year.
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Applications for junior staff positions, such as staff writers, copy edi
tors and business assistants and photographers are now being taken in the
Daily Nebraskan office. Junior staffers will be selected luter in May.
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PAGE 10 THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
MONDAY, MAY 4, 1970
