our man
by Arthur IIoppc
The Nixon Administration is studying a bold new
plan to wipe out crime, riots and other anti-social
behavior.
Every 6-year-old kid in the country will be given
a Rorschach Test. Those who flunk will be raised
by psychologists.
The plan is the brainchild of Dr. Arnold
Hutschnecker. He used to be a plain old MD As
an M.D., he treated Mr. Nixon, himself, in the 1950s.
After treating Mr. Nixon, he became a psychiatrist.
Dr. Hutschnecker says psychological tests will show
which 6-year-olds are criminally inclined. They would
get intensive psychiatric treatment. The worst of the
lot, he says, may have to be packed off to special
camps run by psychologists.
The brilliance of Dr. Hutchnecker's plan Is that
it puts the blame for crime, riots and violence squarely
where it belongs: on our mothers.
OBVIOUSLY, the most important task of any
generation is to raise the next generation. Nor is
there any job that requires more patience, knowledge
and skill than raising a child properly.
You must adequately feed his little body, delicately
mold his little psyche and generously enrich his little
mind or the human race is in trouble.
And to whom do we entrust this awesome task?
Mothers! Thoroughly unskilled, totally untrained,
abysmally incompetent mothers.
Do you realize that today any ignorant, immature,
inherently unqualified young girl can become a mother
without so much as a by-your-leave to anyone? It's
far easier to become a mother than a licensed driver.
Or a beautician. Or a charwoman.
At this very moment, the kooks of this generation
are raising the kooks of the next. Is it any wonder
the world's in such a mess?
Such a haphazard system, if it can be called
that, may have been barely adequate in The Stone
Age. But In our highly technological society, there
certainly is no excuse for assigning the most critical
task of all to unskilled, unqualified personnel.
' So Dr. Hutschnecker is right. Skilled, qualified,
highly-trained psychologists can do the job far better
than any mother.
UNFORTUNATELY, there aren't enough
psychologists to go around. Thus only the most
flagrantly botched results of motherhood can be placed
in their care.
But what of the millions upon millions of other
children who are currently being raised by untested,
untrained, unlicensed mothers? What's obviously need
ed Is a Motherhood Licensing Program.
If a young lady must pass a test to drive a
car or become a beautician, surely she should pass
a test before being allowed to assume the far more
demanding role of motherhood. At a minimum, re
quirements should include a degree in psychology
with perhaps post-graduate couses in accounting,
nutrition and advanced rhetoric.
Think of it! In a single generation, with a stringent
licensing program, we could wipe out not only crime
and violence, but poverty, Ignorance and all kinds
of unacceptable behavior.
Look at the problems we face. Look at the leaders
we've got. Look at the solutions they offer. It shows
you what happens when a whole generation is raised
by a bunch of amateur mothers.
V.7
Just llk your dmm has fcssr?
Just Ilk9 your low will bt
Tlm9l0ss,
manns
SirvSni Lincoln Sine 1903
lllf "0" STRUT
MMTtMO AMWICAH M HOITY
Suppository
byDANLADELY
Would who ever kidnapped
Alan Siporin from the Yippies
please give him back?
Yes friends", the rumor you
have been hearing is true. The
opposition has kidnapped the
Yippie ASUN presidential can
didate. Alan was last seen late,
Saturday night in Casey's, one
of his favorite hangouts. I
personally talked to Alan that
night and we mapped out much
of this week's campaign
strategy. Neither of us ex
pected this terrible thing to
happen.
Sunday, I was supposed to
stop at Alan's house to confirm
some of our planning, as much
of my notebook paper got
soaked in beer the night before.
When I arrived at his house,
approximately three thirty
Sunday afternoon, I found the
door ajar, so I went in. His
apartment was empty and
there were signs that a struggle
had taken place. A couple of
chairs and a table were turned
over, a lamp broken and some
other junk was strewn about
the floor. On one of the walls a
knife (one of the Japanese kind
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
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Member of Intercollegiate Press, National Educational Adver
tising Service.
The Dally Nebraskan Is student publication. Independent of
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dent government.
Address: Dally Nebraskan
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Business Staff
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Evert, Martha Todd, Joe Wilson, Kelly Baker.
you get at carnivals) was stuck
into the wall and attached to
the blade was a note.
The note explained that
Siporin was a political prisoner
being held by some people who
had only the "best interest of
the University in mind." It also
stated that Alan would be held
until after the election and was
signed simply "The Real Win
ners." After consulting a gypsy
friend of mine skilled in the
reading of tarot cards, I have
come upon three possible
groups of suspects the Ad
ministration, the Regents or
someone in one of the opposi
tion parties (most of whom are
extremely worried about the
Yippie threat).
I am demanding that Siporin
be returned by four o'clock
Monday afternoon. If he is not
returned by then, to the ac
companiment of rock music we
will burn down every building
on this campus. All those
students who are interested or
who just want to have a good
time grooving with the music
are invited to attend the Yippie
rally to be held north of Love
Library all Monday afternoon.
There will be a hot time on the
old campus that night. Right
on!
World Campus Afloat
is a college that does more
than broaden horizons.
It sails to them and beyond.
Again in the 1970-71 academic year, the
accredited World Campus Afloat program of
Chapman College and its associated Colleges
and Universities will take qualified students,
faculty and staff into the world laboratory.
Chapman College currently Is accepting
applications for both the fall and spring semesters.
Preliminary applications also may be made for
all future semesters.
Fall semesters depart New York aboard the
s.s. Ryndam for port stops in the Mediterranean
. and Latin America, ending In Los Angeles. Spring
semesters circle the world from Los Angeles, stop
ping In Asia and Africa and ending at New York.
For a catalog and other Information, complete
and mall the coupon below,
You'll be able to talk to a World Campus
Afloat representative and former students:
Sunday, May 1 0, 2 p.m.
Holiday Inn
1301 W. Russell, Sloux Falls, South Dakota
s.s. Ryndam Is of Netherlands registry.
j, r n
Art student .tana Leach ot Lona Beach
sketches ruins ot once-buried city during
World Campus Afloat visit to Pompeii.
25 ft
; -an r-Li.-
1
EZZq WORLD CAMPUS AFLOAT
yt Director of Student Selection Services
Qyjj) Chapman College, Orange, Calif. 92666
Please send your catalog and any other facts I need to know.
Mr.
Miss
Mis.
SCHOOL INFORMATION
Last Name First '
Nam ol School
Initial"
Campus Address
' City
Stale
TIT
Campus Phone (
Area Code
Year In ScKooT
Appro. GPA en 4.0 Sciie"
HOME INFORMATION
home Address-
"SfieeT
enr
Homo Phone (
"JIT
JL
Area Coda
Until Into should be sen to campus Q home
, appro, dale M
I am Interested In Fall 8prina so
O I would like to talk to representative of WOULD
WCA 4e wCA 4U
CAMPUS AFLOAT
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15, 1970
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
PAGE 5
