Get by in class:
sleep through it
by BOB RUSSELL
Lecture classes, where a
member of the faculty talks rt
you, seem to be a common
malady in American educa
tional institutions today. This
malady appears to be a tem
porarily incurable one, so the
purpose of this article is to help
you "get by" (which is, after
all, the purpose of American
education). There are several
methods of getting by, depen
ding upon whether you want to
be asleep during the lecture or
remain conscious.
Several of my classes have
been somewhat analagous to
the city dogpounds, in that both
put living beings to sleep. In
the type of class where I find it
virtually impossible to remain
awake, I try to make the best
of the situation by, at least ap
pearing to be awake. Inex
perienced class sleepers tend to
be "head-bobbers" or
"slumpers." The "head-bobbers"
intermittently raise or
move their heads around dur
ing periods of semi-con-ciousness.
"Slumpers" just sort
of collapse to either side,
forward, or backward,
sometimes drooling out of their
open mouths. If you are either
a "bobber" or "slumper," it is ,
a good idea to have a bib, so as
to avoid embarrassment in
later, classes from drool or
dribble on the c 1 o t h e s .
Remember, a "bob" can easily
turn into a drooling slump.
To appear awake while really
being asleep requires much
For better or
by TOW WIESE
I'm on a cliche hunt. A cliche hunt
involves searching out and killing a likely
expression that has seen use in the past.
In this case, it is a mercy killing that
should have been taken care of long ago.
The cliche in question has served as an
expression of opportunity, a measure of
when you have "arrived" in our society.
The best possible position that one could
be in ten or twenty years ago was that
of "free, white, male and twenty-one." For
the America of today, this supposed ideal
needs modification. First, the "white" has
diminished in importance. This is not to
say that it is advantageous to be black,
yellow,, oc red, but there have been some
large strides towards racial equality made
in recent years. Sure, we have a long
way to go, but the near future holds the
promise of less discrimination in fact and
, in attitude, and rightfully so. I choose to
remove the term "white" from my quar
ry. Second, "male" in his expression has
lost much of its importance. The feminism
movement and a drive for women's rights
has left the female in a position of near
equality with the male in job opportunity,
equality in voting, and to an extent, social
acceptance rivaling that of America's
men.
Again, sex discrimination like race
discrimination, still has quite a way to
go, but the current standing warrants the
dropping of the term "male" from the
cliche.
THIRD, the arbitrary age designation
of "twenty-one" has outlived its usefulness
in our society. With the age of majority
presently at twenty in Nebraska, with a
U.S. Senate move yesterday towards a
lowered voting age of eighteen, and with
FRIDAY, MARCH 13, 1970 .
practice. The safest position (I
will soon be coming out with a
diagram of the different posi
tions) for this hoax is to place
your elbow in a firm place and
to lean your head on your hand.
The more erect the posture, the
better it will look. Several ac
cessories are also needed for
this hoax. Dark glasses are a
necessity, as visible closed eyes
are a giveaway. A heavy book
or two will help to hold your
elbow firmly in position. (Your
textbook might serve this
purpose. You might as well use
it for something.)
For those of you who like to
stay awake, there are several
infallible methods for keeping
you from going under. One is to
put your elbow down on the
slick surface of your desk and
lean your head on your hand. If
you happen to start to fail
asleep, you will immediately be
reawakened as your elbow
slides across the desk and your
head thuds on 'the surface. This
hazardous method once worked
for me 27 times during a class
period, by the count of a
classmate. Another way to
keep alert and awake is to
chew on BIC pens. A mouthful
of ink or gagging as you choke
on plastic will generally keep
you alert, though not
necessarily to the lecture.
I hope this article has helped
you to "get by." You are pro
bably asleep by now anyway,
and besides, I haven't yet
figured out how to appear to be
reading while sleeping.
the increasing strides continuing in educa
tion in the lower grades, the socially defin
ed age of maturity has fallen from the
magic twenty-one. Any prediction as to
the future course of this trend leaves the
predictor wondering "How far will - this
go?"
The lowering of the age of social
maturity will most likely continue at a
slow rate, but for present purposes, any
reference to age in the cliche is un
necessary. Age is at best a poor indication
of value to society. And value to society
seems to me a . much more reasonable
measure of an individual.
FINALLY, the Issue of freedom in
America has found many questioning
governmental interventions into the life of
the individual. - '
If you stop and ' think how free you
are, you may come away wondering. Social
security requirements, federal agency
regulation of countless areas of life and
compulsory military service, all limit the
freedom of the individual American.
If we take these and many other in
dications to mean that freedom. Is rapidly
disappearing in America, then' the term
"free" in our now-dying verbal yardstick
should also be deleted.
A consideration of the above observa
tions points to an interesting phenomenon.
If the "white", "male" and "twenty-one"
components are removed, and I hope there
is sufficient reason to do so, there is quite
a bit left. If "free" is deleted from our
expression, and I hope there is not reason
to do So, we are left with essentially
nothing.
There Is one word that deserves tj
remain in the original "free, white, male
and twenty-one" and that word is free.
It seems that if you lose that, you lose
everything.
Editor,
With fiften dollars in my
hand, I went to the Coliseum
and bought my parking sticker.
For fifteen dollars I have
received incredible protection
of my car, a pot-holed parking
lot, a vigilante crew of police
trying desperately to avoid
"having jurisdiction" for my
stolen car. (Couldn't I unders
tand that after it was stolen it
was off University property?)
And now today a vandalized
car.
What do the campus police do
at night? (We won't consider
the day.) They couldn't give
tickets because my area
always has cars taking two
stalls. (The day police "just
don't have the time to get over
there.") Ah, yes, . now I
remember. Wasn't that a
worse
RAPPING
campus police car which pulled
up to the red light on 16th and
Vine, looked both ways, turned
on his red lights and drove
through the traffic light, pulled
up to 16th and R (Red light
again! ) turned on tlie reds and
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There they are, our pride,
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For What!? Style no doubt.
For David Cuthbert,
Marty McMahan
EOT
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THE DAILY, NEBRASKAN
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