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THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1968
Reflections
in a jaded eye
The week is dealt out like a hand
That children pick up card by card.
One keeps getting the same hand.
One keeps getting tlie same card.
Silly old writer, some thousands of words later,
begging a machine for the phrase to end all
phrases: failure without mitigating circumstances.
An old writer in a soggy month, being read to
by a parrot. Without machine, old writer is
Sissyphus without a boulder; Vulcan without a
forge; Hemingway without no. 2 pencils.
Aware, post partum, that there can be no
security and that peace is a figment of the im
agination. Knowing that without formation there
can be no transformation, and without a typewriter
there can be little of either. Notice to Man: there
will be no change until some time after the Second
Coming.
FOR EVERYTHING Is fixed, forever and
forever: things do not change, Mr. Baldwin. Each
day Is a stewed tomato; each day there is death
and the Pope will not change until we have all
tarved. .
The river of words, like a mechanistic Styx,
Is metal-clogged and halting. Neon is the only
medium to produce an alteration of the reader's
phenomena; an impersonal metaphor to the death
wish. Silly old writer, you can never go home
again.
Old writer, you have aroused anger in many,
admiration in a few, but what of pity, catharisis
and fear? (Oh, there is fear all right, fear of
the bomb and Biafra, Dienbienphu and Waterloo.)
Why can you not forgive God for not existing?
OLD IDOLS make way for new. Wrap the
words in waxpaper and place in the refrigerator
for use at a later date. Warm over a slow fire
and chew delicately, for tomorrow Is the holocaust,
and that means Nebraska too.
We need God and all we have Is Mayor Daley.
Is there no prince In all Quivering Quivlra who
will reveal himself as the true savior?
Earth is the Mother of Sorrows, the Mater
Dolorsa; to weigh is the Way. Concept versus con
cept, brother against brother.
THE SCALES bow to the avoirdupois litany.
Think it over, brother. Are things falling apart?
Will the center hold? Is nothing sacred?
You're all invited to the New Year's Eve
Massacree. B.Y.O.B.B. To create is to self-destruct
Life is a faithful imitation of art
Yet, walking in the Valley of the Shadow of
the World Herald, the old writer fears no evil,
for the machine is with me. The sod and my
staff, they comfort me.
Peace.
Jack Todd
George Kaufman .
Rest in peace
Ifi been a long year, End-Of -Year-Column
Buffs.
If s bad it's ups and downs, but I would like
to concentrate on the positive side and hand out
the George Kaufman Thank-You-Anyway Awards:
TO GEORGE WALLACE for almost
overthrowing the Establishment where 50,000 hip
pies bad failed.
TO BRUCE HAMILTON - for trying.
TO EUGENE MCCARTHY for "trying and
being.
TO DICK NIXON for allowing Clifford Hardin
to appear on national television so that many
Nebraska students could see what be looks like
for the first time.
TO BOBBY KENNEDY Rest in peace.
TO HAL BROWN we award a free set of
treatments for his paranoia and a free security
agent to check under his bed every night for a
happy-yippy.
TO LYNDON JOHNSON meanwhile, back
at the ranch . . .
TO TERRY CARPENTER for confirming
our opinion of Nebraska legislators.
TO CLIFFORD HARDIN a real Cornhusker.
TO BOB DEVANEY keep smiling.
TO MARTIN LUTHER KING Rest in peace.
TO JIM GARRISON we award a free Perry
Mason trial kit.
TO JACK TODD who had to put up with
fire from the left and right, not to mention letters
from professors who thought their gift to the world
was to write cute, sarcastic letters.
TO THE POPE for perpetuating the survival
of medieval mentality.
TO CATHOLICS EVERYWHERE - for
perpetuating the Pope.
TO GUY FAWKES let it aH hang out.
TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS for being
consistent
TO RICHARD DALEY a free tongue pain
ting. TO HUBERT HUMPHREY we give a free
whistle painted with a replica of the 1968 election,
so he can blow it again w henever he wants to.
r .y,fn vs . .
a , ' inJsfeL-
mn. ti tnaur
.M Tribunt SysdicMs
Maybe YOU'D like to stand out here and ring this hell . . .!"
Editori
Commeoitairy
Our man Hoppe . . .
Will the Pope ban Holy Water?
by Arthur Hoppe
The experts are now talking
about putting birth control
pills in the world's water
supply. And we of The League
for Total Birth Control say.
"Huzzah!"
The league, as you know, is
a militant do good group
dedicated to solving all the
world's problems in a single
generation.
AND WHILE LOADING the
water with birth control
chemicals won't achieve the
League's idealistic goal of
wiping out the human race, it
would certainly be a con
structive start.
What it would wipe out is
poverty. It would accomplish
this age-old dream of
mankind In the only sensible
way by wiping out poor
people.
For it's a well-known fact
that common, ordinary
drinking water is drunk only
by common, ordinary people.
The rich, beautiful people
drink Chateauneuf du Pape,
Pimm's Cup No. Two and an
occasional Grand Marnier.
io under mis pian we would am?"
soon have a world filled with
only rich, beautiful people.
"THANK YOU, SIR," she
says. "What is it?"
"Oh," he says airily, "it's
just a little old glass of
water."
"Water!" she cries. "What
kind df a girl do you think I
OF COURSE, LIKE ALL
vast projects, this one's going
to creste problems
particularly for well-bred
young ladies anxious to
preserve their reputations.
Here we are at a cocktail
party. And there's this sweet
young thing demurely sipping
her dry martini. And up
slithers this nefarious
seducer.
"Here you are, my sweet,"
he says. "I brought you a
drink."
"Come on, honey," he says.
"One litUe old glass won't
hurt you."
"AWAY WITH YOU SIR,"
she says. "Lips that touch
water will never touch mine!"
But when she isn't looking,
the foul villain takes a vial of
water from his pocket and
pours it in her drink.
Fortunately, the nobel hero
spots this dastardly deed,
punches the villain in the nose
and protectively sees to it
that the sweet young thing
drinks nothing but pure dry
martinis the rest of the evening.
So the next thing we know
we've got a paternity suit on
our hands.
OBVIOUSLY WHAT WE'LL
need, then, is a public service
campaign to convince even
nice Catholic girls to drink
more water. But there are a
number of slogans we can
borrow from temperance
groups, such as: "For that
carefree feeling the morning
after, drink water the night
before."
So that takes care of that
problem. The only other pro
blem we might face is that of
a poor, common, ordinary
peasant couple somewhere
who, for God knows what
reason, might want to have a
child.
Let them drink Chateauneuf
du Pape.
Chronicle Features
-i-nr--- - i -- - -
TO FATHER send money.
Dear Editor:
I am a librarian and I am a
liberal. The November 20
Nebraskan editorial eouating
the Omaha World Herald's
hands-off Biafra editorial with
the Vietnam war bothers me
from both standpoints.
I wondered row you (the
Nebraskan editor) verify your
facts, form and update your
opinions. What do you read?
What does anyone here at
Nebraska with opinions on the
subjects you have been
editorializing and reporting
about read? Specifically,
what have you read and are
you reading on Vietnam?
I CHECKED the records
here in the library for books
on Vietnam. A disquieting
number of the basic books on
Vietnam have never left the
library. Others have gone out
once or twice, no more. Pike's
Viet Cong, Knoebel's Victor
Charlie, Gruening's Viet
Folly, Sack, S h a p 1 e n
Sheehan's Ten Vietnamese,
Salisbury, Fall, Burchett, And
Or, Reischauer, Kahn, Ho Chi
Minh. Mary McCarthy On
Revolution is no one
reading these basics?
On the not unreasonable
theory that many university
people prefer to depend on the
public library more for this
kind of public interest book. I
checked there, too. The
record was somewhat better,
but not overwhelmingly so. I
looked in vain on the checkout
cards for some of the names
attached to the most vocal
or printed opinion on the
war at the university.
It seems to me that these
facts can be interpreted as
questioning the credibility of
the witnesses. I don't think
the interpretation too far out.
considering specifically the
November 20 editorial. Its
tone is oh so familiar. I joined
countless similar smears on
the motives of the liberal
(Like it or not) American
government which took us
into Vietnam and inferentially
on the motives of those,
liberal and conservative,
supporting that action.
WHAT SMEARS? The at
tempts to force the ad
ministration and its sup
porters into the straw man
mold of reaction, blind
hysteria and murderous
racial hatred are the smears I
am talking about.
"Anyone with a mind
uncluttered with Joe
McCarthy ideas" is a smear.
Change "Joe McCarthy" to
"Joe Stalin" and McCarthy
himself would have been
proud to utter it. The thinking
which connects all opponents
with the worst attributes of a
minority fringe uninvolved In
tlie policy-making decisions of
those opponents has nothing
to learn about guilt by
association from Joe
McCarthy. "Killing gooks,"
'us against them, black
versus white," "anti-corn
munist hysteria." along with
"niggerV and "honkie" are
all smear cliches used in print
today only by the New Left
Daily Nehrakan
Second-class postage paid at Lincoln. Neb
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Editorial Staff
Editor Jack Todd: Managing editoi Ed Icenogle; News Edltoi Lynn Gotu
chalk; Night Newt Editor Kent Cockwn; Editorial Page Assistant Molly Murreil.
Assistant Night News Edllor lohn Kranda; Sports Editoi Mark Gordon; Assistant
Sports Editor Randy Vork. Nebraskan Staff Writers Jim Evinger lohn Dvorak,
Larry Eckholt, George Kaulman Julie Morris. Mm Pedeien Terry Grobe Hill
Smitherman, Connie Winkleri Senior Copy Editor Joan Wagoner; Copy Editors
Phyllis Adkisson. Dave Filipi June Wagoner, Andrea Wood: Photography Chlet
Dan Ladely: Photographer i E Shawi Artist Gail Pleasman
Business Stafl
Busuius Managet J L Schmidt. Bookkeepei Kiigei Hove; P.oaurtHin Mao
anei John Fleming; National d M. nagei Fril shoemahei . llui.ini-. Si-i mmwiv
and Classnied Ads Linda I Inch. Stiitschpimn Manauei Ian Boatman. iM-ulatmn
Managers R'in Pave'ka Rick Dnran. Advertising Representative,; ' Mec Browa
Joel Davis. Glenn Friendt. Nancy Guilliait, Dan Looker. Todd SUuehter.
and its allies or the far right.
Before the New Left,
liberals cringe and abandon
liberal ideas as if they were
tainted. Commentary
magazine last year published
an instructive symposium
with Richard Rovere and
Dwight MacDonald
representing the old ieft and a
pair representing the New
Left. Each time the New Left
representatives led off with
an illiberal, undemocratic,
racist diatribe they would end
it with an attack on the
American involvement in
Vietnam. The results were
pathetic. Although Rovere
and MacDonald obviously
were unhappy and tried to
counter the more extreme
agruments, they felt the need
to preface each remark with
"Yes, yes, of course we agree
with you on Vietnam, but . .
." This had the effect of
muting any refutation they
might make on anything else.
The cowardice exhibited by
liberals in the face of the il
liberal tactics of the New Left
should come as no surprise.
Not to anyone rememberinj
the thirties when the Com
munists slandered and sold
out the liberals on the theory
of Nach Higler Uns. Not to
anyone remembering the fif
ties and McCarthy. It is a
"iiame.
Stanley diit.man
Assistant Professor, Library
Inside report . . .
Nixon's ploy
for McCarthy
By Rowland Evans and Robert Novak
Washington The best evidence of how badly
President-elect Nixon wanted Senator Eugene
McCarthy to become U.S. Ambassador to the United
Nations is the fact that Nixon sent William P.
Rogers to McCarthy's Senate office a week ago
today (Dec. 9).
Nixon's assignment to Rogers, his Secretary
of State designate, was pointed: use all your
weapons of persuasion to talk McCarthy Into taking
the UN job.
THAT WAS NOT THE first or the last effort
by Nixon. The first came shortly after the election,
when Nixon secretly met McCarthy in the National
Airport here to sound him out. McCarthy at that
point said he was not in the slightest interested.
But when Rogers came to his office to argue
the case for Nixon, McCarthy, who fully intends
to be a major factor in the 1972 Presidential cam
paign, was not so adamant. He began to see the
job in a wholly new perspective, and it is this
perspective that made Nixon's McCarthy ploy
almost succeed..
Instead of fear at the prospect of being accused
of "selling out" to the Nixon administration,
McCarthy saw himself in the posture of heir to
Adlai Stevenson (who went to the UN at the start
of the Kennedy administration). As an eloquent
voice for peace with the world press as his au
dience, he began to view the UN as a natural
platform to hold what is left of his national consti
tuency and to build it anew.
41
IT WAS AT THIS meeting with Rogers tiiat
McCarthy laid down his one unalterable condition
that Minnesota Governor Harold LeVander, a
Republican, appoint a Democrat to take McCarthy's
vacated seat in the Senate.
That Democrat, McCarthy specified, by no
means had to be Vice President Humphrey. In
fact, McCarthy left little doubt that he preferred
not Humphrey but some other Democrat, possibly
Rep. John Blatnik long an aspirant to the Senate.
Rogers replied that Nixon or his agents had
already talked to LeVander, but that unfortunately
LeVander did not "understand" Nixon's and
McCarthy's problem (possibly because LeVander
himself may run for the Senate in 1970 and would
not want to build up a Democrat by putting him
in the Senate now).
THAT DECIDED THE issue for McCarthy,
despite still a third attempt this one by Nixon
himself in the now-celebrated telephone call to
McCarthy at the Sans Souci restaurant here last
Wednesday.
McCarthy's clear refusal to cede his Senate
seat to a Republican is revealing evidence of his
future political plans. He reasoned that, while he
could persuade his folliwers to support his move
to the United Nations, where he would take over
a forum to push peace, he would be condemned
both by his own McCarthyites and the entire
Democratic party if the UN job meant reducing
the Democratic majority in the Senate.
No one, probably not even the enigmatic
McCarthy himself, knows exactly what his future
political plans are, beyond his statement that he
will not run for reelection to the Senate in 1970.
BUT THE FACT THAT Nixon offered him the
UN post at all shows how convinced Nixon is
that McCarthy still has an influential national con
stituency. The President-elect obviously hoped to
use McCarthy to build a bridge between Nixon
and anti-establishment anti-Vietnam Democrats,
particularly the young, who followed McCarthy last
spring and summer.
But as McCarthy was warned by one of his
chief agents after the election, even a national
constituency can fade away fast. Thus, when
leaders of the New Democratic Coalition plotted
strategy at a dinner meeting in Manhattan on
Dec. 8, McCarthy's name was mentioned only once,
in a brief reminiscence of the Chicago convention.
Around the table that night were many of
McCarthy's top campaign aides, including Curtis
Gans, ex-Lt. Gov. Patrick J. Lucey of Wisconsin.
McCarthy's convention strategist, and student
leader Sam Brown.
It is little wonder, then, that the UN job looked
so good to McCarthy.
(c) 1968 Publishers-Hall Syndicate
HEP program
faces prejudice
Dear Editor:
Although many University students, outside of
the Harper-Schramm-Smith (H.S.S.) complex, may
not be aware of it. there is a worthwhile govern
ment program on this campus called H.E.P. which
is helping send kids from poverty backgrounds
back to school.
About fifty kids, mostly Spanish-American, are
now living in the H.S.S. complex and attending
the University High School. These are sweet, in
telligent kids who are trying to get their high
school diplomas, but they are facing a great
obstacle: prejudice.
PREJUDICE, WHICH I'M ashamed to say, is
widespread among University of Nebraska students.
I've been told by kids in H.E.P. that they feel
unwanted and at they believe some University
kids look upon them as not even human.
University students, some of whom I know
participated vigorously in the open housing march
last fall, reter to the H.E.. students as "spicks."
If you ask me, I think there are a lot of
crepe-paper libeials on this campus! I'm disgusted.
A Smith Coed
