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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 6, 1968)
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1953 John Diets PAGE 2 Who will help A. Mother Hen? (Editor's note: This is a fairy tale, bat anyone may read it regardless of social behavior.) Once there was a mother hen called America. A strange name, true, but it was a Spanish hen. One day, in her old age, she discovered she was in trouble, as many women are 'wont to do in our day and age. So, she asked who would help her. "Who will help me?" she asked. "NOT I," said the radicals. "We're too busy holding meetings closed to the press and reading ramparts and rapping." "Not I," said the president of the student body. "I'm too busy playing games with the student senate and making fun of the administration and acting radical." - ' "Not I,', said the editor of the school paper. "I'm having too much fun acting like the student body president who's acting like a radical. Don't bother me, I feel another flaming editorial coming on." "Not me," said tne ureet. (ureeu aon i lam too good.) "I'm much too busy playing Greek games and talking Greek talk and winning Greek trophies. Look me up after Ivy Day. Maybe then ..." "Not me," said the administration, the mayor ' and th sfato losriclatiir in rhnrna and sevpn-nart i i c t- Mi i 1 1 . i r narmony in a ey 01 n-iiai minor, we agree - - - - O w .. - j - o - a ; Hell, we've never had it so good." "Not I," replied the newspaper columnist "I nave too mucn 10 ao just wnung cuie columns and making up scare stories about Spanish hens being in trouble." End of fairy tale. MORAL OF THE STORY If you didnt bring no potatoes stay the hell away from the stew, ' baby. Afterthought Is our biggest failing in not asking enough questions, or in not questioning enough answers? Submit essay on this question M in woras or less not later tnan miamgnt. . . -- George Kaufman : Undipped hp trick prompts 4Schick-in' by Ed Icenogle . Musracne growing is not an an. Nor is it an incidental facial freak. It is, rather, a profession: or, to discuss it In terms of the student's environment, an arduous and exhausting course of study. a a ; ORIGINALLY MUSTACHE growing at the University of Nebraska was taught as a division of the College of Hair, School of Facial Growth. ; It was a sequence of courses that presented a l 1 1 i V II 4 I IV I'l U HI III 1 MM Pill II in. I lir Iff if Illllllsa text was "Show a Little Hair," which was sup- nlftirifinted hv "Don't Let Anvone Call You a Bald . r ,, r ace i.iar. T..4 U tjt frvK nw Cham Tmlfltt UI witu Uic ouiAjesacs ui jiueu. kxuuu, ipuuj Roosevelt and Jesus Christ (not necessarily in that ' order), mustache growing became more legitimate. Incidentally, there is no authoritive proof that Christ had a mustache, although some experts have supported the theory because nowhere in the New Testament is He tempted by the Devil to shave. ATTRACTING STUDENTS with such sudden success, Mustache Growing left the folds of the College of Hair and the School of Facial Growth to attain separate status as a Residential College, probably because the student must live with his mustache ceaselessly. (Pasties don't count.) There were originally two types of courses in the Residential Mustache College: LL and UL. Lower Level and Upper Level courses? No. Lower Lip and Upper Lip. BUT THE Lower Lip courses were rooted out because instructors reported too many close shaves with students who mouthed off in the courses. So, at present all courses in the Mustache College concern, appropriately enough, the Upper Lip. The normal sequence of courses is currently: Hair 1, Taught by Dan Druff, dean of the college; How To Wait For The Slow Growth 22. Taught by Prof. Harry Tarry; Grooming the Mustache 101. Taught by Otta Lend MaComb; And three specialized courses, counted as electives, which are Handlebar 211, French Cut 212 and Kissy-Tickle 213. DEAN DRUFF reported that the courses seem ... to be especially attractive to the "liberal" element - on campus, i.e. people who are now growing ex tracurricular facial fuzzies. This has caused some concern in the Mustache College, since many of the non-credit growths are outstripping the academic endeavors. Because of this, Druff gruffed, student organizations have been asked to exert controls over mustaches of those Ender their respective jurisdictions. STUDENT SENATE, having shown very little hair all year, immediately passed their 1,753rd resolution of the session, calling for the removal of mustaches. But, then, they're such a clean-cut group anyway. And AWS signed an agreement saying that women students will be prohibited from growing mustaches. Exempted, of course, from the mustache limitations were the women who agree to continue the righteous and just system of restrictions of freshman girls' nocturnal habits and who support the intelligent judicial trials. AND NOW, as these restrictions on students are taking affect, droves of them are entering the Residential Mustache College in order to main tain their fur. As a result, the "liberals" . are reputedly organizing a Schkk-in at which everyone will shave their hps and scalps, as the new form of protest and expression of individualism. Open letter Dear Editor, Your cartoon lampooning President-Elect Nix on's religion (Old Fashion Quaker Oaf) rates a -new low in poor trit. From the days of slavery, the underground railroad, and the abolition move ment the Quakers have had a pretty food record of committment to just causes. In this land, founded on principles of religious freedom, one has a perfect right to be a Quaker like Nixon, a Black Muslim like Mohammed All, a Seventh-Day Adventist like myself, or an atheist. Fight the man if you must, but fight clean. fcy on me tuny, low mows, please, unciaemauy, I voted for Humphrey.) Joe Butler Life CLiicaiioii Among other things, the demonstrators called up 'pigs' . . . !" Ed itorials ConBinfiieinit&iy Our man Hoppe . . . Money solves any monetary crisis By Arthur Hoppe Herewith is another unwritten chapter from that unpublished text, "A HISTORY OF THE WORLD, 1950 to 1999," it's title: "The Invention of Money." The world was staggered by an acute monetary crisis in the fall of 1968-the 14th in as many months. THIS TIME, THE experts explained, Germany had been doing much too well economically. Consequently, a strong mark was threatening a weak pound, a sick dollar and a wobbling franc. Many solutions were pro posed, such as supporting the wobbling franc with sturdy Iranian quumquats, and resuming daylight bombing .raids over Germany. But , each had flaws. It was then that a financial genius named Mellon de Casaba unveiled the plan that was to solve monetary crises forever. The only reason for national currencies," he said, "is to circulate pictures of a na tional leader in people's pants pockets." "But for hundreds of years, this multiplicity of currencies has caused wars, revolutions, depressions, confusion to tourists and headaches for financial page readers. The solution can be summed up in two words: "Real Money." Thus de Casaba and a group of Swiss bankers set up a secret printing plant and began making Real Money. "I SUPPOSE YOUR Real Money is backed up by gold reserves you've buried somewhere?" asked a reporter suspiciously. "No, pistachio ice cream," said de Casaba. "Our studies show people prefer pistachio ice cream to gold 3-1. Moreover, should the world ever fall off the Pistachio Ice Cream Standard heaven forbid! we can eat it." In three short years, every nation had converted from aardvarks or zlotys or whatever to Real Money. General De Gaulle, of course, was the last hold-out. But the pressures on him proved ir resistable. "I just can't bear to hear Frenchmen shout, 'Exchange our francs for Real Money' " he said and went for a walk on the Seine. WITH REAL MONEY the only currency, everyone was happy. Workers were happy to be working for Real Money. The egos of national leaders were soothed by sew ing their pictures on all trouser labels. Tourists threw away their pocket calculators. And countries catering to tourists were delighted never to hear again those insulting words: "How much is this worth in real money?" But what preserved the sanity of mankind was that international monetary crisies were a thing of the past. For the true genius of the de Casaba Plan lay in Real Money's being the world's first absolutely stable cur rency. It never fluctuated. It could neither be devalued, revalued, depressed .pinflated nor made sick, weak or wob bly. This became apparent the first time a worried in ternational banker asked de Casaba how much Real Money would be worth next week. "Compared-" said de Casaba triumphantly, "to what?" Chronicle Features SBMMse--M--J--"-"-w-ef-ewiw IT ; , mmmu- - ,. i - - - This Dec. 7, 1968, will mark the anniversary of the bomb ing of Pearl Harbor that led this country into World War II. All America was asleep to the fact that perhaps war wasn't quite as far away as they had imagined. In much the same way Americans today are being lured Into a false sense of security about the war in Viet Nam. Just because this war is being fought thousands of miles away, people think this war could never reach the shores of America. We are not just fighting a few Viet Cong guerillas with crossbows as many people imagine, but Instead a well-trained, well armed army from North Viet Nam. Where do they get the weapons you ask? Frora Red China and the Soviet Union. If you think they haven't the military power to launch an all out war against this coun try then you ere highly mis taken. RED CniNA, Wth Viet nam and the Soviet Union all have one thing in common, belief in communism and the desire to impose it on all freedom, loving countries with an ultimate goal of world domination. If anyone has any doubt about Soviet Intentions, they surely must have been enlightened by the recent rape of Czechoslovakia. Is it going to take another Pearl Harbor for this country to wake up to the Red Threat? It is now feasable for Americans to realize that it is now time for militant anti Communist action with a good old deep seated love of God and country and time for a renewal of staunch American patriotism. Daily Nebraskan Second-class postage Bald at Lincoln. Neb. TEI.EPHONE Editor 472-I5M. News 47S-25M. Business C73-3SM, Ar?dre- oorremiondenre to Daily Nebraskaa, Room lU itadent Union. Cnrv-rslty of Nebraska. Lincoln. Nebraska MSOS. Sobecrtptios rafc or M Mr semester or M or (ho academic fear. Published Monday. Wednesday, Thersday and TMdar dorta the eehool jmar oxcopt dwini vacatMnw and em period! by the eMenta af Ibe IIMvartttf of Nebraak under the airtedtrtton of the raenlty SutKwnmtttee aa Kmdent Publication! PanlicatotM ahall be fra from cenimrehip by the Haoconinuttf or any pet wn oataMe the Unlventty atambara of Ue Nabraakas ara raenoaeSbtt tor what Uie caime to be printed Member AeeooUted toUef lata Praaa. National BdiwaOoaal AdVerttataf iarvtoa. Editorial Staff Editor Iv Todd: Maaajlaa Editor Ed leeaoftai Hew. Editor Lyu ttottf Chalki Nleht News Editor Kant Cockeoni Editorial Paga 4letaaf Molly Mnrrelli A "latent Night News Editor inha Krandai Sport Editor Mark Oardoat A.ee1tast Sports Editor Randy Vorki Nebraskan Staff Writers Jim Bvusier, Jane Dvorak, Larry Eckholl, George Kiutaun, Julie Morrle, Jim Pedersen, Tarry ttrotxi. Bill mlthermen, Connie Wlnkleri tentor Copy Editor Joan Ruiooer; "py Editors Phyllis Adkisson. Dava Filipi. Jane Wagoner. Andrea Wood! Pbotogiapby Gales" baa Ladeli Pnotofraphar J. B. bawi Artist Call Pleasoiaa. Business Staff Business Manager ). L. Rchmldti Boorfcespor Roger Boys: Prodootloe Maa seer John Firming; National Ad Manager Prtts Shoemekeri Basiaes Secretary and CiBuliled Ad Umla Ulricht uji;lMe Manager Jan Boatmani Circulation Managers turn Pavrika. Hick Dorfcoi Adverttrini Beprasmutives Meg Brows Joe bavta, bias rrtandi. Nancy CollUatt, Dea Uoker, ttxW Wat soar. , THE RED Threat Is very real and not as far away as one might think. Look at Cuba just off the coast; how many thousands of miles is that? This Communist bastion is a strong beach head for the threat of world domination, in the event of all out war, its location would be extremely strategic and vital. Yes, this Dec. 7, 1968, let us not forget Pearl Harbor, nor the devestating loss inflicted upon us. The younger generation of anti-war pro testors will in time wake up to a few basic facts, but the question is, will it take another Pearl Harbor for them to realize that Com munism is a spreading disease and unless we contain It there will surely be another World War. The threat of Communism is very real and very close, and I'm afraid I'll have to go along with that old saying, "It's better to be dead than Red." WARREN STORMS lack relevancy The university is a breeding ground for racism. Racism, that is, in the sense of its being an equal brother to discrimination on the bases of education, wealth, religion. Racist attitudes are not so much the intention as thev are the consequence of only superficially considered goals. It seems to me the goals of education in a university system should be along the lines of personal understanding and societal contributions. To this end, the requirement of degrees, tuition and prerequesite credits is absurd. These are elemental forms of discrimination that set people apart and against one another. a a THESE UNIVERSITY requirements are archaic. In the past, the clear intention of such requirments was the continuance of class society. It was thus assured that laborers would remain docile and that the elite would retain power. This broke down somewhat with the need for a middle class. Television' involved the rich with the poor and the poor with the rich, producing a nearly universal social education. We are "TV kids," trending toward complete rejection of class distinction, i.e., racism. We wish to reject discrimination on the basis of degrees, prerequisites and tuition as left overs from an intentionally racist, class society. In the university, and possibly our entire educa tional system, we as students are in the role of "nigger." We cannot begin to talk meaningfully of ending racism anywhere until we free ourselves within the university. a a INSTRUCTORS ARE only people, sometimes little older than we. Hopefully they have more knowledge of a particular subject then any of us, though probably not more than the class collectively. In a less formal, equal, situation plans would be made at the cutset by the entire group and be subject to revision. Yet at the University of Nebraska, we students either abdicate that role (and responsibility) or we are entirely unaware of it. From the very outset of each semester's classes, we accept ourselves as inferior. We create our own chains. We hope that if we appear to be good, a diploma will unlock our bonds. Grades leading, appropriately, to a sheepskin, are the club we place in the hands of the instructor. We accept discrimination. We accept racism. And then we get drunk, turn on or drop acid and bitch, almost never daring to understand our problem as a failure of self-respect. a a WHETHER THE GOALS of education are really personal understanding and societal contributions or not, both social and curricular emphasis at the university denies hope of achieving them. We allow ourselves to be constantly pressured toward individual achievement and weakness. When future security hangs in the balance, the university becomoes a racist, competitive, individualistic jungle. Grades generally reflect neither true in terest nor understanding. The quality of our lives and educations ceases to be relevant Aritificial rewards and plastic titles, a form of drug as self-destructive as LSD, help us keep our sanity. We accept racism, discrimina tion and accompanying symptoms from hunger to hatred even though we do see them and they do cause us pain. We accept and thus perpetuate , them because we fear that which is good and . , beautiful, because we fear our brothers, because we fear our selves, because we fear life, because we fear to stand, because we fear, because we fear. Dan Looker . . Lincoln . its true color unveiled soon White. Lincoln is white, the pale racist shade of whitewashed prejudice. A town where homes have been threatened with burning (if the new neighbors were black). A town where homes have been painted by white hoodlums (if the new neighbors were black). Rut it's all hushed up quickly; we don't talk about those rare but embar rassing incidents. Lincoln is not Selma or Detroit. But In Lincoln a black youth was left handcuffed to Jail bars so that he had to stand all night by the police. Police brutality here? And a black man who lives in a nice southeast Lincoln neighborhood decided1 to take a walk one evening. The police stopped him and asked him "what are you doing OUT HERE?" For the very small population of blacks, In dians, and Mexicans (not even 5) its not a nice clean town. AND IT'S POOR. Almost a fifth of the city makes less than $3,000 per year. It's not just the Inner city, either. Besides the cheap apartments on O Street and here and there downtown, and besides parts of the Malone area the "Inner City," there is a semicircle of poverty that rings half of the city's fringes. The poor that live in parts of Havelock and in the basement houses and shacks, youll find north of Holdrege between the Fair Grounds and the East Campus. The poor that live in parts of Belmont, West Lincoln, and the West O Area. The squalid homes in an unknown neighborhood not far north of the "Southwest Campus" (Pioneer's Park). South Seventh. Eighth, and Ninth. This is the belt of poverty that even life-lonf residents of Lincoln know nothing about. AD this is the bad side of Lincoln; it has Its good side, too, but since fewer people know about the gory details, we of the Human Rights Committee have planned an alRam-nis night of nearint! it straight ceVeA a Talk-In" where we're going; to bare the sad truth. THERE ARE GOING to be four panels of "ex perts" In Selleck, Cather-Pound, Abel-Sandoz, and Schramm-Harper-Smlth. They'll include tome of the local "radical troublemakers" from the campus like myself, Jack Todd, Mike Shonsey, and others. On top of that thereH be people speaking who really know what's going on - from the City Human Rights Commission, the local poverty pro-ete-PePIe -ike Gary Hill, John Calloway, and Gerald Henderson. It all happens this Mo.iay at 8 p.m. If you're tired of hearing generalities about "the system" and 'racism," come and bear the specifics. You'll remember it for a long time.