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Grizelda (Typical NU Coed)
Snags Kiss Under Columns
Friday, November 22, 1963
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The Bad Seed f
Because I enjoy wild fits of spasmodic school spirit,
and also because I have had an ill heart against Okla
homa, ever since my grandmother ran off with one of
the student managers when they played here in 1922,
leaving my mother a virtual orphan, forced to sell dimple-fillers
for hollow-cheeked men from door-to-door, I
mused over the possibility of injecting the phrase "all
the way to the Orange Bowl" whenever possible in to
day's column.
The only difficulty arose in the meanings which re
sulted since I had chosen for my topic, "What Girls
Find Out in College."
So, I desolutely abandoned both phrase and topic, to
wander through another subject which always held a fas
cination for my simple desires . . . that of classical
books.
I, myself, never got past the stage of "See Spot eat
Baby Mary's food. Kill. Baby Mary, Kill." However, one
can easily tell what the book is about, just from the
title:
PARADISE LOST Once upon a time, there was
a coed who turned down a date with Gary Fegley. Upon
discovering her mistake, she ripped out all her hair, cov
ered her body with mud. and sat on the corner of 17th
and R, bewailing her fate. She recently committed sui
cide by throwing herself into the Sammys burning pit,
and now everyone stokes her coals.
Catcher in the Rye if she won't go near the beer.
Mother Goose An inside story of why Delts band
together as they traverse up a stairway.
Wuthcrlng Heights The inside story of the Twin
Towers, and how two grain elevators now serve an entire
campus.
And so, full of literary knowledge, everyone can go
to the football game on Saturday. My one word of cau
tion is leave your grandmother at home.
T'was the day of the game, and everyone came
To see Nebraska live up to its fame.
The students were packed in the bleachers with care,
In hopes that they'd rotate with somebody there.
While I in my section was joggled and hit.
Trying to find just a small space to sit.
When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
Everyone stood to see what was the matter.
When what to our watering eyes there should stand,
But Huskie the Husker, with an orange in each hand.
He was dressed all in red, a suit by Brooks Brothers
And he nodded and smiled at all of the mothers.
He spoke not a word, but hailed our team
And waved with a hanky that was scarlet and cream.
The Sooners were shocked when the crowd started to
clap.
And three of them jumped in Bud Wilkinson's lap.
They defaulted the game and all drank Bon-Ami
So Nebraska thereafter went to Miami.
N. S.
Grizelda Smothers is furi
ous, angry, and also mad.
As a matter of fact she is
so mad that she could chew
self-service pop spigots.
And if you think that isn't
a feat for a girl with false
uppers, you aren't thinking.
Why is the poor girl mad,
you say?
Well Grizle Is two weeks
older than she was a couple
of weeks ago, and she has
learned a few things. You
remember the sorority
that discriminated, the one
that wouldn't pledge her.
Well, a little undercover
work revealed the reason
for the discrimination.
You remember how Griz
le had alwavs considered
herself a typical NU coed.
Well, she might have been
a t v p i c a 1 NU, but she
WASN'T a coed. Reason:
she hadn't been kissed be
neath the columns by her
boyfriend. Reason: she did
n't know where the col
u m n s were; (She didn't
have a boyfriend either, but
that wouldn't stop Grizle.)
"What a horrible thing,"
thought Grizle. Sooooo . . .
the very next day, in her
Love and Marriage 203 lab,
she started to cuddle up
(Grizle, as we have noted
in previous escapades,
knows how to get what she
wants) to this great big
handsome hunk of a Percy
Driplip. He was her lab
partner. The bigger they
are. the harder thev fall.
Well, Grizle has fallen in
love. She is a fallen wom
an. I think you call it a
falling in love of conveni
ence. Off to the columns.
"IT'S not dark yet." "So
what." "So, we'll wait till
tonight."
The Daily Nebraskan
JOHN MORRIS. manaiini editor;
Sl-E HOVIK. news editor; SUSAH
5MITHBERBER, GRANT PETER
SON, FRANK PARTSCH. Miliar staff
UTitera; LARRY ASMAN, MARV
MoNKFF. JERRI O'NEILL. JERRY
HOFFERBER, junior Uff writers ;
PATTY KNAPP. ARN1E CARSON,
CAY LETTSCHUCK, copy editors;
HAL FOSTER, photofrapher; MICK
ROOD. sports editor; MIKE JEF
FREY, circulation manager; JIM
DICK, subscription manager; BILL
51INLICKS. BOB CUNNINGHAM,
PETE LAGE, business assistants.
Subscription rates S3 per semester
or $5 per year.
Entered a aeoond class matter at
:he post office in Lincoln, Nebraska,
under the act of Aiurust 4. 1912.
The Daily Nebraskan Is Published
at room 51, Student I'nion, on Mon
day, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
by University of Nebraska students
ander the jurisdiction of the Faculty
Subcommittee on Student Publications.
Publications shall be free from cen
sorshia by the Subcommittee er any
person outside the University. Mem
bers of the Nebraskan are responsible
for what they eauss to be pruned.
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Touchdown
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At eight o'clock, Pound
Hall (Pound . . . pounds . .
diet?) Is rocked as Grizle
thunders down from the
thirteenth floor like a herd
of duck-billed platypuses.
(She forgot whether the ele
vator stopped on odd or
even floors, and she was
too excited to wait) "Oh
Percy." Off to the columns.
Well, Grizle's hold on
Percy began to loosen as
s o o n as they left the lights
of Pound. It was dark (Per
cy was afraid of the dark),
and Percy couldn't see her
beautiful face or wonderful
figure anymore. He was
getting nervous.
First one foot began to
drag, then the other foot,
and Grizle had to drag both
of them the last hundred
.yards.
Well, she kissed him, and
that settled him down a
bit, and he kissed her and
she kissed him and they
were having a pretty good
old time of it until one of
the other girl kissers (It
was crowded) heard an es
pecially loud Grizlekiss and
glanced over. It was Per
cy's steady girl (I think
By John Lonnquist
that's why he was ner
vous). Well, when he saw HER,
and she saw HIM, every
body went home.
Well, Grizle is a coed
anyway, and she doesn't
really feel bad about los
ing Percy so soon because
she might have decided to
marry him. And she didn't
want her initials to be G.D.
m
I
mm
J NOV. J
25
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