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EDITORIAL
Wednesday, April 24, I963
Hardin Comments "
Successful Inaugural Indicated
MEMBERS OF the student body who designed the University's first Master's pro
gram this week showed through their sincerity of purpose an attempt to acquire for
you, their fellow students, a program which would stimulate thought and challenge
your interest The response from all quarters indicates a successful inaugural for the
mffiTHER the Master's program becomes an annual event will depend upon the
interest it has generated among the student body. This interest is important also rrom
the standpoint of the Old Masters. These returning alumni must feel that they too nave
had some challenge with the minds of the young men and women of this I nix-ersity.
They must be satisfied that thev, as tutors who have taken time and effort from their
own busy lives, have contributed to a greater effort in the educational endeavors of the
University.
WE FEEL that these mutual exchanges, such as we have experienced this week,
reward both the students and the participating alumns. It assists in furthering the
goals f education. But the future of the program rests primarily with the stu
dent community. CLIFFORD M. 11ARD1X
Bay,
THE FINAL preparations for Ivy Day,
J 963, are being made and it seems that
this year's event will be one of the most
soccessMly staged en the University cam
pus. The Mortar Boards have revised the
schedule of events, made provisions for a
new throne far the queen and her court,
and they nave changed the organization
of the mens' and womens' sings.
IX THE organizational phrase, these
changes look good. When talking with the
Mortar Boards, we can tell that they want
to make this traditional event a little more
This ts the time of the year that w all
begin looking forward to the big smiversity
weekend. And, we're glad to know that this
year's Ivy Day promises to be ""bigger n
better" than ever.
iQut That's A
Once upon a lime, not
so long ago as you might
think, in a dirty decaying
hamlet known as Falls
City there livr4 a charm
ing, handsome, witty, ur
bane young man. This
young man w as known far
and wide throughout the
land as Prince S. Tudlf .
And he was too. However,
our story is not about this
fine young man but rather
about his neighbor to the
South, Jody the halfwit
Jody was not really a
half-wit, but let's be gen
erous. Jody's only enter
tainment was reading the
telephone book. He read it
day and night drunk or
, sober, forward or b a c k
wards, prone or supine.
After fifteen years of dili
gent practice Jody be
came quite proficient at
reading the telephone
book. He could read it
over his shoulder with the
help of a mirror, he could
read it while hanging
from the nearest baltus
trade by his femur, he
could read it while balanc-
Different Story!
ing on his sternum atop
a rapier. Once he read it
while eating a cumquat
Jody had a great imagin
ation. Finally Jody felt he was
good enough to give a re
cital. The entire town was
invited and they came in
their best bib and tucker.
As it happened there was
only one bib and tucker
In the whole town, a sire
tt, and the seams were
slightly torn after a few'
hoars but It was a small
town and everyone was
well acquainted so there.
Little Reavis Maeomber
was sqaasned tnrt he
wasn't very popular any
way. Jody came out on the
stage, smiled demurely,
scratched his cau wito
his index toe and waited
calmly for Little Reavis
Macomber's groans to
subside. Little Reavis
,was soundly throttled and
cast from among them
and Jody began. Jody
twisted himself into the
second Lotus position,
pierced his earlobe with a
curtain hook and hung
from the rafters.
"A Hilltop Court," he
read, "104 S. 40 ; . .
4SS-2500". The audience
was enthralled. "A Jack
Beers Arch 724 Lincoln
Bldg . . . 432-M26," he
continued in his melliflu
ous tones, spittle and spu
tum dripping rhythmical
ly from his chin.
Snddenly a voice rang
set from Use back ? the
hall. "Yea quarter-wit," It
rang, revealing the awful
truth at last "that's not
eur phone book." Oh, that
vindictive little Reavis
Macomber. Hell hath m
fury like a small man
squashed and throttled.
Well of course Jody was
crushed. Fifteen years of
dedication spent on the
wrong phone book! Oh!
Jody left town to catcalls
and flying stones. The aw
ful ridicule of it all.
But all is not lost Jody
has found the right town
to go with his phone book,
He is there now, prepare
Ing for his come back. So
is Prince S, Tudly but that
is a different story.
It's About That Time!
It happens every
spring!
It is nothing official,
planned for in advance.
No one ever says much
about it, or even thinks
about it It just happens,
like birds migrating and
beavers building lodges.
It always happens at
precisely the same time
every spring. About the
same things happen each
time. Although the same
individuals rarely attend
two in succession, the
crowd each year is just
like the crowd the year
before, and the year be
fore, and the vear before
that
It happens every year
for the same reason
people get nervous.
It is a peculiar type of
nervousness. It is called
The Jitters. Not everyone
can have The Jitters.
There are certain aca
demic and extra-curricular
requirements that
must be met before one
can qualify.
The symptoms are
made most apparent by
the attempts made to cov
er them up. Everyone
knows who is afflicted,
and why, but it is not
ethical to come right ot
and ask.
It is also customary to
decline the symptoms, es
pecially if one is especial
ly stricken.
The symptoms are var
ied, but usually follow
general traits. There is a
certain wQd look to the
eyes, brought about by
being suddenly confront
ed with certain individu
als. This is either fol
lowed by nervous stam
mering, a nervously fa
miliar greeting or uncon
sciousness. Nausea seldom resetts,
although the victim may
feel like it
The symptoms, and the
affliction, always come to
an abrupt end, however,
on a particular spring
day. The best cure, ac
cording to the experts, is
either sadden darkness
or a brisk roll on the
grass.
Thus, from all this,
comes this yearly noc
turnal, event when those
most afflicted with The
Jitters sometines called
The May Madness) steal
away to a forgotten glen
and try to cure them
selves "by drowning.
It is about that time of
the year.
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Cpetoo H miifwgl
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EmcvNvt Vke President
Thvrtdcy. April 25, 1963. from 9.-C0 cm. to 5:00 pan.
MTCTOwAnQNAl. TRADE mnt OCMENNMGNT SERVtCH
The American Institute For Foreign Trada
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Result: The experimental Ford fJtast&ng.
lively 2-seater Seaded with
sisnificsnt enslneering features
Just under 13 feet long weight, 1544 pounds, 400 to 700 pounds
less than comparable models of popular imported sports jobs
the Mustang is representative of the Interesting design chal
lenges at ford Motor Company. 'Unique ways of reducing weight
without sacrificing strength, to improve performance and
economy, may stem from Its design.
For example, seats are an integral part of the Mustang's body,
adding structural rigidity. Brake, clutch and accelerator are
mounted on a movable cluster which can be adjusted fore and
aft .as can the steering wheel) to suit varying sires of drivers.
Other important features: low-drag, aerodynamic shape proven
in the wind tunnel; independent front and rear suspension; disc
front brakes; roll bar built as an integral part of the bodyframe
structure; hot V-4 engine mounted forward of the rear axle in
unit with a 4-speed manual transmission.
The Mustang is another example of how challenging assign
ments met by our engineers and stylists help ford Motor
Company maintain engineering leadership and provide new
ideas for the American Road.
The Amariean ftmd.DMitom, Michigan
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