Page 2
The Nebraskan
Wednesday, March 15, 1961
s.
.$?&!!!
By Dick Stuckey
By the way, this is hell
remembering how that title
goes.
In our infinite source of
historical accumulae con
cerning the colledge; ah
whayout in the realm of
the pasdt of our skoul; and
deep in the bottom of a big
brown vanilla envelope,
we have discovered the ab
solute first invitation to a
"teea" ever sent at this
University by an organized
women's group to other
organized living groups in
order to bring everyone to-
gether at an organized nap
kin feed.
This discussion is actually
a supplement to last time's
discussion of whatever was
discussed. But today we
shall hear an on the spot
account of that first teea
by J. Lightwheat Topcoat,
representative to that same
Genesis of all teeas from
fiie student organized Pres
byterian Soccer Hop Com
mittee. Topcoat has included in
his account an actual copy
of that first invitation, so
warmly received and so
beautifully engraved with
gold venneer trimming and
blue muslin backing and
green hornrimmed mas
cera. Here that invitation
is reprinted for all to glob
ber some over:
"Ahhsoo let it be known!
The Zit chapter of Runnin
Jumpin Jheta formally ask
your presence at a teea, to
be given on first Sunday
of September, Nineteen hun
dred and one score, in hon
or of their regional pro
vince bookkeper of the so
rority at large, so let it be.
And sot only do they ask
your presence, but they
ask that you doll op some
what, and bring your intra
mural director, assistant
housemother, and others
who have fine clothes, and
prepare yourself on the
matters of the day, by so
doing furthering the very
fine program their conversa
tion chairman has so out
lined previous to this teea.
RSVP"
The Invite was neatly
tacked fate envelope after
envelope, and the RSVP,
Topcoat explain!, stands for
Return the Silverware, Ye
aetiaa Blinds, a&d Pa neb
bawl, hot that was later
shortened to "Well, what
eoBedge are yoa ia by gol
ly." We now present Topcoat's
account, firsthand, unadul
terated, and a bit emo
tional: "Wfaeez. What a teea.
AH the klds's there, and
this cool napkin arrange
ment. We was just goin in
the door, and these broads
came rushin out and took
our coats and .gloves and
clipboards and urshered us
in there. Boy oh boy.
'There was this line of
all these old women standin
up there dressed to the
ht and we west through
it and shake unl we was
ptsmb faddeled. 1 called
Nebraskan
Caltert Receives
Student's Support
To the editor,
la genera!, this letter is
directed to those who would
kkk a man when he is
down. In particular, this
letter is directed to recent
critics f Mr. Calvert
Yea are aot unlike a pack
of Jackals ksBgrGy crowd
ing arsd a faDea aate
fepe. I propose, for once,
to idem tie asaa.
For fmsr benefit, jackals,
let m start at the mart
fesdamectal kveL Mr. Cal-
vert is manager of the
derm. He muL e&lorce its
rcles, see to the welfare of
Us reskksii. The decisions
he makes in this respect
are ust always simple; and
for that reason, yoa and I
T BaaV Titiraiaaa mm aaUba aa Omm Imm am rfcar.
a r 14 mmtrw m am ma ar tmimta omtj at
a. unms ami w oN vm w. Mama Man mw4
mm aa yitotanii antms Ca eat ia malum Can, iiiimi
Dailv Nebraskan
Member AjMciaiml CeOegfafe Tret. Ini&TjaJiemAl Trts
xvmmtmc. Xa&MMl MrrrUsAog Service. LarpntMl
TMike4 afc Mmm 51. ilw&rvl Vmiau. LfaMwia, Keferufca.
! rXTt-GXZ TEAKS OLD
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Tcleyteae BE -7C31, ext. t$. IKS, ttCT
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the wrong woman the one's By Dick Masters
before her name and she in hopes that the editor
got red and I did and left. wm run this while the de-
"But then this table with mand is high and the time
food on it. Wow. What food, f is right, the SATYR would
All kinds of pretty little I inform those unifirm males
cookies and two big glass who enjoy rollicking and ri
pans, one with green juice oting that Katy is- in town
and the other all pink. And for the remainder -of the
a coffeepot. No teea. & week.
"So we picked up a little i Now in case you are li
glass bluerock and a cup I centiously orientated, it is
with a handle that y o u I my duty to inform you that
couldn't possibly shove a i this is not an ad. Katy is a
finger through, and this one nice girl ... a fine girl .. .
girl took us to aside the i an intellectual girl, and
piano. Boy was she bad! I maiifly a good date. And
First thing she says to me, she is here only for a short
Lightwheat, is, Tell me, while. That's all for that.
Lugbolt, what year a r e I The SATYR will turn his
vou" i attention, or what's left of
'"'What year am Ir I I to , th nerf"n pf
co i nni vo fflram instituted by the In-
i,tlo- i ,.
;rl y i A t n Anfknr
nor punch juire good or I
bad, nor coffee weak or
strong, nor major nor mi- I
nor, nor visiting roving vice I
president of the province,
nor colored peanuts nor 1 Coffee in the Crib, cram
garnished mints, nor piano ming for that 11 a.m. ex
here which I have just no- i am, Brothers Four, bowl
ticed oh this cigarette of I ing, billiards, organization
mine is burning through in- f al meeting, in fact a great
to, nor any topic which you I part of student activities
wish to advance by your center in the .Student Un
phoney questions. Leavf me I ion. Who keeps all of these
alone, oh glib girl, and put I various phases of campus
your ridiculous starched I activities running smoothly?
questions to one who can This is the job of your Stir
endure them. I am aleavin dent Union Board of Man
this here teea!' agers.
"So we left. But not un- This board consists of 21
til we had dashed our plat- g members: twelve students,
lets and droplets against sx faculty and three alum
the side of the honored re- nj. The twelve student mem
gional director, visiting. are the eight members
What a bad afternoon." 0f the City Union Program
ou cuus "4. ui iiuiuiitcu
i.S'SS.ioMlAccident Rate
that be soon took a job
with the local laundry syn-
that he soon took a job i
he can be seen with his 1 A comparison of the month
baDpein hammer pounding fly accident reports of Student
trousser fly snaps shut. Health for the present year
Of particular interest to iast indicate a decrease
town and campus circles , ,. -d t catceories
Monday morning was th lin aU acciaent caiegor e , J
announcement of Cornhus-1 Th e s e categories include
her Protuja DarryH Dry- ffalls, athletics, lab, auto and
clean, who is to spend a I miscellaneous groupings,
semester of business, civic, Thc iTgeit redaction was
and professional orientation , ,, .
at the laundry with old ? tbe miscellaneous cate
Mr. Topcoat Young Dry- pory where accidents re
clean is majoring from I corded fell from 16S to 71.
Gold Label, Nebraska, in Accidents from intramural
baHpein hammers, and that 5ports feU from 107 to 72;
brings to mind the old auto injuries were down from
song, now redone, for you, rj w 9; falls in living quar
nobodys, in light of recent iters ani on campus were re
deveiopmeEts: Iduced from 115 to 37.
THE PROTEGE nt. p
PROMENADE 1 Other Redactions
On eye-vey day, on eye-vey I Other reductions showed in
dav, I juries from physical educa-
We"fl "go downtown, 1'aon down nine; unorganized
On eye-vey day! sports accidents flown iu ana
One eye-vey day, on eye- '-2 mishaps down 5 from last
vey day, lyear's totals.
Well aU become acquain-1 Dr. Fuenning. director of
ted with the physical i Student Health, said the
plant of business and iHeallh Center was working
become oriented in re- Itoward preventative meas
gard to its functions lures in regard to campus
and in regard to the safety,
professional and civic I He explained a follow
activities which we wOl ftbrwgb program which of
do later when we're Itea results ia rectifying the
biszer . . . and.
' What's more ha, ha Icaased the . accident
yoa don get-ah gooo! I Often a factor of the physi
Hcal environment where the
Letterip
a .. .:.. v;-
might disagree .th hm. I
have, sometimes violently.
But Ms decisions are in ef-
feet stalenif tJe law;
fo? aaSisTrali, by
Wfcea finicky adokscemif
toobitterry complain abwt f. Dalry Barn tu jajured If
deceatl tood, wfcea discfpfia- swhm be fell from a pkkupk
2 i'-" mhea A tamed eor-i
!i r?' ler. He was standing when; J
MCatrert mast make de-acc5deM The
elrtB?-. . fresult of the accident;
Decisions in keeping with spronspted a recommendation 1 5
the rales of the dorm. De- -jtat no one be permitted to S Jp
cisiioas in keeping wjta the stand ia a moving vehicle.
welfare of its residents. De- . weosd ease lead to the ?
tii'ioBJ which may be high- liastanatisa of aa electric K
iJ tmpapsshr. But hwsert skohe ia the meat eattiag f
l tJiim, um uxm. e-
1t J 2
ciskms despite the load fow medical cost tor aa entAi
wais of anguish from the pIyee who was iajsred while f I
offended parties. I moving a beef quarter. f
- He's gat a rough job. Another preventative "stepi
Deaais Boage fwMch student Health has ua-i I
laa t mnm at lawn, Xnwmm.
Winaii. Tin. W.ijitoii.iia aaf ft.
SL 1
m tfr iMMftabM bm f imndil 1 1 1
mmmtm a
mm i
rmufvOmmm aaa ka fm Inm
n mmw
at m
SI ATT
,Owa rorcawa. mm t aMimi aiaai m-r
ryi. Xtmitj uowmtk riUatfLrum Scheduled
1 nocents. The unjust criti
CISH1 WHICH MS DCCn
U.P.C.
sinv
lUeCreaSS
Isitaattoa which may have
accident occurred may be
j changed to eliminate danger
fof further accidents.
f Environment
I If the accident report tadi-
ZZaL'.ZZ fcates that such an environ-
Hmeotal ' factor may be in-
, s. : - r . I i ..w
l-c healUi and safety depart-
spa;
s',Jz! i TV i h.
gale 'tt0-.He
I ume pmendatocs
h
sm,hir.k . i:uw ..n it
fete ftrwtfl M BC lest UiaBf
. . fi
deTtakeo, is the publishing of r
fmenial health and safety di
Ivisiox :
I This News Letter, which
I was published for the first;
ftime last year, contains in-1
l.'ormalion cowerning possible
Isitaayons and developments
fdeahng with safety acdij
gheafia.
The newsktter is disfrih- I
jfted to departaieot chairmen, I
faaminisiraiive per- w
fsoanel. University labora-!p
t o ries and other points i
iammd the campus. , i
1
f
f This year's Rash Ebn wfll!
fbe presented at next week's j
Iliterfralcrtity Council (IFC)!
imeelisg. accordiEg to IFC
Satyr
. heaped on these young men
for their interest in a ca
reer and a future is com
pletely unfounded and in
bad taste. Since the begin
ning of time, the spoils have
gone to the victors. And
the losers have gone to Ne
braska. Flower was absolutely
right for attempting to prod
the Mortar Boards along
this line. If the SATYR
thought the Broads might
tap him (or whatever the
Mortar Boards do to
satyrs) he'd be about mov
ing to jump the gravy
train (or whatever one
jumps in these times trou
ble.) Well, it just happened
my freedom of press has
just been curtailed horrib
ly. Paychecks for the Big
Review
Council and the four mem
bers of the Ag Union Pro
gram Council. This Board
governs aQ activities of the
Union and makes regula
tions for efficient use of Un
ion faculties in keeping with
University standards and
student opinion.
As an agency concerned
with Uninversity activities,
the Board of Managers is
responsible for the Chancel
lor and the Board of Reg
ents. The Union Board ap
points a managing direc
tor, who under its supervi
sion, is responsible for car
rying out its policies and
hiring employees necessary
for the efficient operation of
the Union.
Besides meeting at a
regularly scheduled time
each month, the board
members serve on standing
committees. Faculty .alum
ni and students serve on Ex
ecutive, Personnel, House,
- Public Relations, aitd Room
Assignment Committees.
Only students serve on the
Program Councils.
The members of the
Board of Managers at all
times try to be sensative
to student opinion. The Un
ion was established for the
students, and it is the re
sponsibility of the Board of
Managers to see that the
Union serves the students.
LITTLE MAN
mm m mm i i m t - v. ."f.-ri n mm a i
fickets ea Sale IMsa Entrance
DAMN YANKEES
April 15
KK SPRING SHOW - -
PERSHING AUDITORIUM
Li MJJlMJtJBJIM SI A aiatMBBlBlaaia Laaaaaaaaaaa .
muw w 9mw 9 yTrarar,raiTraT
St Pats Week-End Special
Friday, Saturday, Sunday
3 Piece Kelly'a Trect-Fried Cbkken,
Freaefa Frira, Roll., BaUer, Hoary, Drink
tor
only
frery fourth est frttl
Toka-Out Orders
TREET DRIVE-IN
Book come out on the Ides.
It just so happens that
Emmy handles those gifts
that I would like to pass on
to prominent business
firms. In lieu of that,
Please vote for Emmy to
day. No commercial.
Enough of the common
chatter. Now the SATYR
will turn to the pursuit of
intellectual pursuit. There
is this course oneampot
which receives almost no
recognition, and worse, no
scholars.
- If you clods would like to
see real scholastism with
out the usual mickey
mouse encountered, real
scholastic freedom with
out the tedioum, a real prof
who knows his subject ma
terial without the aspiration
. to pedantry, I heartily sug
gest that you take Greek
Mythology 117. This course
is under the capable direc
tion of Dr. K. Aldrich who
is now in the process of
placing the finishing
touches on his own text for
the course.
That's the trouble with a
lot of good courses on this
campus. It the prof doesn't
crack funnies, give good
grades, buy coffee for stu
dents, and sponsor two ac
tivities, nobody takes a
class under him. People
stand on Cheer boxes and
bleat about better student
prof relationships and how
great it is to find out some
big fat truth. Well it is the
SATYR's earnest conten
tion that pearls are being
thrown to about eight stu
dents while the rest of the
eight thousand are worry
ing about electives, snaps,
and , working in love and
marriage before gradua
tion. I must be off to the
woods and watch for the
first daffodil or keg party
(so what's aesthetics).
From time to time bow
that Spring is here and the
oracle is again accessible,
the words of destiny will
pour forth. Like well be
picking winners and mak
ing book on the mystics and
all like that.
Note: Thank you Society
for making it possible for
me to work with Mr. Pann,
the director of Parks and
Woodlands.
ON CAMPUS
I!
The Catacombs
Students arise! Not be
cause you were forced to
drink Cokes out of thim
bles for four days, but be
cause there is a lack of
myths read by the campus
intellectual. This rather as
tounding fact was eluci
dated to me in a cryptog
raphy class the other day.
There must be some myth
that the University can be
lieve in like better food at
Selleck or" that next year
the registration blanks will
not say "press down you
are writing on four or is it
five copies at once." In a
futile endeavor to revitalize
this small spark of what
should be a part of every
" red-blooded college student,
I have composed the follow
ing little piece of palaver,
liberally borrowed from
Mother Goose and anybody
else that I could plagerize
without too much chance of
being sued. Now to pro
ceed Freddy Farmer met a frat
man going to the "U"
Said Freddy Farmer to
the great Greek, 'Tell
me what to do."
Said the Greek to freshman
Freddy, "Show me first
your penny."
Replied Freddy, quite
sadly, "Sorry, Greek, I
ain't got any."
Said the annoyed Greek in
return
"Is it for an education
that you yearn?"
"Well," said Freddy with a
grin,
"It's a helluva of a spot
I'm in
Coming down here to the
Harvard of the West
If I done can't get an ed
ucation that is best."
And the Greek, feeling
that a departure from lyric
verse was now both timely
and worthwhile, because he
knew nothing about the
rhyme scheme, said,
"Gosh, Freddy, ol pal, ol
boy, ol chum, I'm sorry
but that is not what we
need this year."
"You mean boys without
pennies?" queried Freddy
in pretended amazement,
because he thought that he
had ye old campi psyched
out after being here for two
days.
"Not oa your magnificent
seven color graduation pic
ture, kid. (He would have
said tintype but he was too
progressive.) As a matter
of fact that is one strike
against yoa, bat maybe yon
could take ip some sport
like outdoor basket weav
ing and get a scholarship."
1 1
lit- i
i t.. &
this is Gordon
or ii.iiim
a un approat to mmnm.J,
the accent m casual, comfsM?
neatness m a Cscron a.uf ecSaa v&
that keeps up appearancat.
Tailored to wash., ftang ami wear,
It has the i!e bttslness-fike air
of a Fghtaeight worsted.
See it new hi a aide rings of colors,
KdusTwig ccsrert, taupe and Cambridge.
4250
Ths Captain's Walk
1127 ' Street
"Huh????" intoned Fred
dy. "In other words, kid, we
got our quota of average
boosters last year. What ve
want this year are gus
with lots of personality and
pep like oi' John here. You
know;
Deedle, deedle, dumpling,
frat boy John
Goes to bed with his
stockings on
One shoe off and one shoe
on
Soobi, doobi, doo, dob,
doo, frat boy John.
This guy's so busy he
doesn't even have a chance
to take off his shoes and
socks that's the kind we
want the kind whose "go,
go, go" gets up and goes
(Aside to frat brothers:
don't tell him that he wears
socks to bed because the
house is underheated, and
that he only wears one shoe
'because the pledges stole
all of the rest of them.
Rushees will believe any
thing!) "On the other hand," in
terjected Horatio Haus
mann, "here is a guy who
would be great I can see
it now emblazoned over the
front door instead of the
crest HOME 07 GEORGE
GREEK. George Greek the
boy who will bring new life
to the crumbling Acropolis.
"Georgis Porgis, puddin
and pie
"Kissed the girls and
made them cry.
"So George Porge (as he
wishes to be called now,
having assumed the college
sophisticate role) is fast
and he has never heard of
the three date rule. He de
serves to be patted on the
back and have somebody say
"What a good boy you are
Georgie, you who make the
girls cry." At least he has
rebelled against conform
ity. This seems to pretty well
prove that the common old
fashioned, garden variety
(if I may usurp some of
the Flowerpot's ground?)
Mother Goose rhymes and
fairy tales still have a
wallop to pack for the so
phisticated college student
Now, if this author is not
mistaken, myths are also
related to this general
phenomena, and myths in
turn are related to the
Greeks, which of course
brings as logically to the
question of Greek Week.
Which in turn brings us
logically to the termination
of this column. All I have
to say is "Make it GREEK
WEEK and not greek
weak."
IT'S
4, j, .'
If
I 1341 KIrfi Street
r . fST2S 1 There wia be no IFC meet-
to. KE 5-7261
4tM UtM '.fan (Italian
.zg tsnight, he sakL
1 tummMmim::mimm!
m u aiMrai'ajnajaaaaaaanaaaaai
Wrresiaem. Don Terguvm.
M S