The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, April 01, 1960, Image 1
UNIVERSITY OF NEBR. LIBRARY Huzza As Woods Return to -Belts Cnifarcity Gunsellor, Stif f Ji"d H a r d w i n announced Thursday that the ministra tion was returning the so called Delt Woods to the stu dents. "We have always felt that 3 tesj. should be made of the indent's abilities to use the U'oods without abusing the privilege. We hope the rules and regulations established the dean of Affairs, Fullup Coalburner, are observed. These rules are to be en forced by the People's Court. All Wet Asst. Dean of Affairs. Posh Ilalfgrin, whispered confi dentially. "If those rules aren't observed there'll be several drownings as the woods are now several feet under water." Jim Pithgear. (asst. to the gunseU gave this reporter a dosed door snow-job in which l;e stated the reasons for the ministration's reversal. "It has been our constant d ar that the girls would lose their figures if they were to lose P.E. a nd healthy out door exercise in the same se mester. 'In addition this is good for rental health and hygiene. The Director of Stupid Health reports that last week they treated 600 girls for injuries differed while under a delu sion that led them to crawl up the walls of their houses. "In addition, parents across the state have complained about the drinking on campus and the type of pressure that led to the Andrews Hall Af fair, so there was nothing else we could do. Too Much "In addition, several L i n coln bars have been dam aged by overcrowding and the State Fire Marshall is com plaining." A poll of campus students taken by the Pink Rag showed the following results: Loud Blare, a senior in Busi ness Ministration, shouted (amidst background numbles of mendacity) "I don't think I'd enjoy myself; I have to straighten out Rush Week." Campus Cleanly, Trip Skar ris. said, "Well, I think it definitely would be a bad example. Besides, well, that's sort of a thing that I'd not like to be quoted on ... or even asked about." Lynn White, well known Theta Hustler (which doesn't mean what you're thinking) simply said, "Oh no. I have to raise my average, I've been so busy. Inn! C7 C si DlAFIY Vol. 34, No. 90 The Daily Troshkon Friday, April 1, I960 Raging Flood Submerges Campus, But Classes Will Continue, Sa ys Students; Gunsellor Schoe Droll Reigns; Starchie Egg Lauded Campus Cosmetic's ratifi-, by Gross Outhouse that the cation was held the other; show was over three days night. The Boys Club slate ago. I was approved while several j slim-Chance Gladwall flout-! ! turned their heads and three a his library talents and took up the Secretary's office. , Bob Deedee stepped down a-1 mid cheers for his outstand-; Innicent workers died in the floor. Schoe Droll, political direc ts 4v 4 fV S IT"""1; iff pro rr rn nnfi ;ri n i t is- tor and long time chair occu-! ing service. This Cheering be-! pant, was chosen by the boys i came almost overwhelming as with only one dissenting vote, ' Vern Flv walked out. Sweety Bray, Awful W'eef which was cast for Lamonts Other trivial posts were ar- House, simply broke into un controllable laughter. Xo one else could be reached. Dumont. Mr. Dumont was voted for on the grounds that he did more work. Soapy Sophist replied that the above was a foul canard. Mr. Sophist is considered an authority, as he seemed to be C.C. chairman ranged to take care of any ill ; feelings and the workers were chosen. CC is happy to an-j nounce that 12 outstanding, workers were added to the : Club's roles. Two leaders had to be : shirker selection , dropped in deference to those for the steering foul workers who wasted their ' Kasler Treat To Be Pink Coffee The Betcha Crooker Hay-1 of the Easter Bunny it will be making award for distin- colored pink. . . rr . , Students riesirin? crpam -u.nea conee was pre.eniea md sugar wm a, fjnd om committee. time geting points and selling to campus peculator watch-jlive c0s and growing sugar For Vice Chairman. Starch- such idiotic things as tickets, trs in ceremonies today at cane patch advantageous he.ie Egg received a standing Schoe Droll said today tha! the Stupid Onion. i added. The sugar cane patchj ovation before and after his the Club's future was in ho Said head onion. Marty. he pointed out, is located in election. Starchie also an- little hands and things were H;gh Schooler, we will fea- the lounge near the green nounced that CC tickets were going to go as well as las! "-.re this coffee delicacy next jungle plants while Bessie is going well. He was a little year's Inner FooI"s Channel Tionth in the crib. In honor tethered near the TV set. . red-faced w hen he was told Dancing Party. SCHOOL ON DESPITE FLOOD-Slight flooding on campus will not necessitate the calling off of classes, stated Guucellor Stifford Hardwin soon after he arrived in his office by row boat. "Neither", he roared, "rain, nor snow, nor dark of night, nor Oklahoma again, NOR w ater will stay my students from their appointed classes." The five foot crest of water is expected to abate tomorrow. Students under five feet may obtain free snorkles at Stupid Health. Onion Gets tr lime Ma Bennette announced to- jpfJ$ HlUl fr day that Nebraska Onion had j been renamed Student Onion, i "After all. Bennette said, the students do pay for the Onion." I ; - w Nj 1 A , , - f x ft . - 9 z ' - w Ministration Bnildins Razing Set The Uniiarcity Bored Re .ents. confirmed yesterday ! ; ia. the Ministration Build ing would be torn down and replaced by a new and much needed Casino The Bored Regents re ported that the students have !."';e need for counseling and Ziiidance and need a chance o shift for themselves. A tw Casino woild give each student the opportunity to spend the Unfarcity's money as he sees fit. The present Ministration is not elaborate enough to be remodeled so it must be ra?-d and renlaced with thp most luxurious Casino seen ( health." and ' It the only in the U.S. S course I ever got a 3 on." per- Fullup Coalburner. dean of ; vaded the air. Affairs and expected to be j Embittered In Effigy Apathetic floods are now seeping the Unifarcity cam- Pi- . .. Latest releases now "" cate that water will reach the five foot level. Damage is estimated at 53 cents ac cording to the Student Dam age Committee. New Level Ministration estimated that it would take an outstate tuition level of $1,000,000 to repay the damage over the next 15 years. The other proposal to re pav the damage was submit ted by the Young Socialists Committee which recom mended that the bookstore be PYnrrmrintprf anri Piven to jthe Stupid Onion to admin l ister. ' Not t r u s t i n g any of the above committees, your to- trepid reporter sw am over t the headquarters for Slum ! Cleaning and Excavations, whose mastermind Charlie ' Foul, was reputed to have the inside story. On the way I swam across Webfoot Claws, and received a scholarship, see sports sec tion, i Incidentally this flood is not a plot to improve our swim team desirable as that might be. i Charlie Foul was in confer- T el mis Shots Disperse Mob In PE Riot More than H00 undrcrad'i ates were shot yestcday at i riot in front of Buireti Hall. The large crowd of Arts ir.d Sciences students had come to protest the removal , P.ink..R Put the blame on of Physical Education from the required curriculum. Early morning risers were : MrnripH In nnto tha u-1mla i I student bodv had been hung in j ence with Nave Goodboy, effigv this morning Head of the Campus Facadi- Nearly every tree on cam- T. 2i. pus was covered witn stutfed ' 3 f"ure! 1 lale- "This is certainlv an atroc-l , , Pre"" am?' ious thins." commented Prof. u s,arted n 83 wcUut; Earnest Hilcun of the English I "e w ere j"st staran2 t0 ?uf department, " over half" the a more beautifiul campi As name on thP pffiaipc arp m.. ; the first step we were blow- spelled " "P tne Scurillicn Tower In Informed sources of the Cries of ' Give us back our the manager of the Casino, becoming violent (groups said that the Casino would were seen snatching leaves benefit all the students and off trees and tearing them take the students mind off of : fcmb from stem) Unifercity his school work. officials moved. Accordin? to the Bored Re- Quietly and e f f i ciently the University coaching staff It seems several poor seasons of student turnout and school spirit have embitered them with fans. Twice this year the coach ing staff has petitioned the When the crowd -ppeare1 Bored Regents for a new stu dent body, but they were den ied. Bo: bound hind these students. At least, until they run out of money." order to have more room for for a central pool. "Then there came this ter rific roaring noise and wat er spouted several hundred feet into the air. Unbeknownst to us the main pipeline for the Lincoln W.C.T.U. ran right through onr campus. At this point our interview was interrupted by Gunsel lor Hardwin, who came to red president I. M. South-ISide us for skipping clast d stated "We stand be-! Jhe laf wrd,s we overheard PIRTV, A INT THEY You're looking at the prettiest bunch of young ladies on campus. They are the Comic Book Beauty Queens. Because of the uniqueness of this year's candidates. Ihey are being released in advance of the publication of the Comic Book. Judges for th:s year's beauty queens include Clyde Ueatty, P. T. Barnum Jr. and Frank Buck. Comic Book editor Schnoo Schnavel commented that the staff was pleased with this year's queens. We are confident that we have the cream f the crop for beauty queens in this year's Comic Book." Miss Schnavel added. (Notice the une on the left in the back; her is the cutest one.) gents the project would cost more than five million dol lars and would certainly be an asset to the campus. Of course, the Bored Re gents said, there will be re strictions m the use of the Cassino. each student must have at least ten sleep. hours of lockjaw, ported. members of Stupid Health moved through the crowd in- noculating against Howls of surprise and pain were heard and the crowd quickly dispersed. More than 200 of the stu dents were reported sife from Stupid Health re- from Mr. Foul were "It's not really so bad, Nave, if the water just keeps up it will wine out all buildines. nark- ZLaU.C. Day Arrive'"' Shorman Uncle, editor of j build a beauttful campus on. Plavboy Magazine, w 'l ad dress an ail-Unifarcity con vocation at 11 a.m. Friday in the Coliseum. II'a n'ill lien 4 Cfm i n rv n it wui resemoie a swamp. The Gunsel towed us away i in his 40 foot river launch and (Continued on Page 2) FfoAt 5tep to vSpikg IY 1 t hi I . -I A :' i ' 1 11 i ; -I iTf i All Weather Coats 81888-s3935 I ' tirlJ y I C is I i "-ft- - " Sport Coats from Solids to Madros Traditional Suits G'en Plolds Suburban Checks Tropsockin f i 1 1 11 I ! f . 1 : ' See, too Men's Shirts, . T'es, keyed to the M traditionol ly wardrobe f AT n man s University Shop 2nd floor (no fool in)