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Pink Rag
A Shopper
Page 2
Faculty
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Page 4
LIU2ADY
APR 1 1959
I. 33, No 86
The-Pink Rag
Wednesday, April 1, 1959
Unregistered Easter Function Nets
4.000 in Baring Sunrise Raid
Iftg Brother Sees All
J A
r -
ft. u-.-
height Registration Suffers
lS Student Breaks Floor
By Skinny Simpson
?gistration by weight sul
ci a profound setback ta
with the announcement
the University's heaviest;
ent had fallen through the
r of the Military and Naval
nee building.
iministrative officials had
ded to register students'
by w eight rather than alpha
betically when two deans w ere
found chained to the apple ma
chine at Hate Library while
being fore e-fed Alphabet
Soup.
"The hole in the floor will
take at least three days to re
pair," Boyd Goober, registrar,
said. "But we still feel that
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Wonder Dog on Trial
onntie Chief Companion
hase Student, Bump Car
the 15s minutes we save
through tius method is worth
the extra effort"
Goober added that the stu
dents, "hadn't really given the
new system a fair trial," ex
plaining that "each new pro
cedure takes a couple years
to iron out"
The jolly administrator add
ed that a temporary method
w ould be worked out until the
M&N building floors are
strengthened.
Speculation that registration
might this time be by height
gained strength when work
men were seen installing eight
foot doors on the building.
Goober said that this type
of registration might cause a
bulge for basketball classes,
but that other bulges would
be smoothed out
Some four thousand stu
dents were sentenced m a
mass trial of the Student
triedbunal Thursday far at
tending an unregistered Eas
ter Sunrise Service,
Dean J. Piedmont Culvert
disclosed to the Pink Rag
that the student names were
obtained from envelopes in
the collection plate.
Red Handed
We've got them red handed
Culvert said.
"That'll teach those kids to
ISC Boys
Announce
Candidates
Crumb, Bare Up
For Presidency
Officers have been slated
for the Intersecurity Council.
Boysies nominated for pres
ident are Cob Crumb and
Bobby Bare.
"I cannot think of two boys
who have done more in co
operating with all security
regulations," present presi
dent Gary Catwalk said. "Un
der either of these men se
curity w ill reach a new high."
Crumb jumped up and
down four times when told of
his nomination.
"Oh goodjT, goody and
goody," he chortled. "You
can't imagine how long I've
beea waiting for something
like this. Why, all my life
I've wanted to be a presi
dent" He promised new frisbees
to all members voting for
him.
Bare was unavailable for
comment as he was meeting
for his usual five hour a day
conference with Dean of
Boysies, Earnest Hollerin.
put unregistered enevelopes Ballis, noted campus letter
in collection plates." rrripper. (Ballis was captured
The service was held in the later at the Kappa Forest
off limits area of Teakwood where he is believed to have
Bowl.
Spokesman for the four
thousand culprits was P. U.
consumed 17 quarts of lemon
extract).
Big brother, guiding spirit
of NU, decreed that the stu
dents involved were guilty of
conduct unbecoming a stu
dent, U.S. citizen, Sunday
School teacher, prisoner of
war, or one of Chancellor
u tVm '
f 7 1
n
. Milt llif'-fiiff" .JMf
"HEADS WILL ROLL," roared the Star
Chamberlain of the Student-Tried Bunal
at the trial of five University co-heads.
"Five down and five to go," he continued.
(The Tried Bunal needs heads for its
weekly ten-pin session, sponsored by Big
Brother, at CatsVill Heights, 4061 Preach
ers College.)
itest episode in ths trials
jargent Bomb Burrow,
d leader of the campus
nties, and his wonder dog,
e, is the d e n t i n g of a
;ed car by the dog as the
ussel Head
rill Reign
s Queen
ie Tussel president will
1 now on automatically
n as Homecoming Queen,
organization announced
y.
Ve want to eliminate all
unnecessary discussion,"
; Saveyourself, Tussel
ident, said. "After all,
t do the students know
it it anyway? How many
:hem have ever been a
lecoming Queen?"
ie explained that the Pres
it usually had the most
or points in the organiza
u Points are obtained by
ling "Rah, Nebraska" at
jootball games and selling
D Pogo buttons. Two thou-
points are necessary for
iation.
be Corn Gods will escort
queen in a body to her
jnc at the football game.
This gives more people an
ortunity to share the hon-
Miss Saveyourself said.
pair were chasing a wayward
student.
"Wayward!" cemtn ented
Borrow. "They're all way
ward! Dirty dogs everyone.
Next thing yon know they'll
be trying to park in faculty
lots! Let it never be said such
a thing occured while I was
Marshal."
Duke has been bumping in
to a number of things lately
since the canine got his gal
lon license.
This time. Burrow said
Duke had been making the
nightly patrol of campus cell
blocks when be discovered a
j student double parked in front
Uf the Women's Pestilence
Halls.
I Double parking is our most
serious offense," Burrow said,
j "It nets us enough for two ex
: tra hounds and five dog sleds
ja year
i Kellog Fund Not
For Corn Flakes
General Mills has an
nounced that the Bunglers
sponsored Kellog foundation
drive will not be used for Corn
Flakes as previously an
nounced. Dick Aca Pulco, Bunglers
president confirmed t h a t a
large brewery would be built
instead.
Dean Earnest Hollerin was
1 unavailable lor comment.
Mail to Get
Pretty Pool
Ethereal Confirms
Beautifieation Hope
Earnest Ethereal, chair
man of the campus btautifi
cation committee has con
firmed that a reflecting pool
w ill be built on the malL
the m a i n
reason for not
building the
pool w as that
it might be
come filled
with empty
La Betas and
such.
How ever
since the re
cent administration craefcup,
this problem has been elimin
ated. Originally the pool was to
be built so that Mueller Tow
er would be reflected from a
library vantage point and the
library would be reflected
when seen from Mueller Tow
er. Under the new plan the pool
will be turned sideways s o
that instead of reflecting the
Mueller tower and the library
it will reflect Andrews and
Burnett Halls.
The reason for turning the
pool sideways is to keep the
sun from reflecting in stu
dents eyes as they walk 1 0
class Ethereal said.
Ethereal
Story Deadline Set
For Pity Press
The Pity Press, publication
of campus organization, Pie
Xi, has announced story dead
lines as April 28.
Positively no stories will be
accepted after this date.
Mothers Take
Overnight, Too
New overnight rules have
been announced by the Sor
did Women Students Board.
Women students will no
longer be able to take over
nights unless sccompanied
by their parents.
Women having parents
under 25 will not be able to
take overnights at alL
ISC Rushing Proposals Answer
Deans' Edict of 'Obey or Leave'
By G. D. Indecision I "There shall be no rushing ternity personage.
New rusliing proposals'0 anyone except on the fol-j Durhig rush week the fol-
have been drafted by a se-occdsjuns.. -lowing rules will be in ef-
cret committee of the Inter- 1. Christmas morning. iecL
security Council for presenta- 2. New Years, between the j , B1 d t , f . .
tion at the next meeting. rst of midnig:lt and the ! JJ Sel
i.wuua.c . w.? iu Swne:3 ne enters and again Youn RenUblicans. will rise
nn in anmipr to the Admin- c-io iiinh chnM TJod-of. i v . , . . : ouno nepuoi.i, "m .1.v'
-i- -- - " ; ,, I """ " wnen ne leaves, 10 ie recoru-
istrations 'Obey or Leave j ball Tournament of Georgia, ied ia indelible ink and for-
rt- 4. Rush Week Dec. 28, 3-4 warded to the State Patrol.
Mggesiea inanges ja m. 2. Prohibition of deals with tended
In a 5,000 word scroll sent i Rushing Defined j automotive companies to buy fpat
to all houses, the committee Rushing shall be defined ' new autos by lots for the pur- Young Democrats also have
suggested the following! asr jpose of distribution to rush- an upcoming election next
changes: j j Talking with any ndn-!ees. ' Thursday. Their president,
"There shall be no rusliing fraternitv personage. j 3. Luring of rushees to Roman "Ike" Curtis, was
of high school students." j 2. Writing to any non-fra-r houses with hired bathing thrown out of office last
"There shall be no rushing ternity personage. j beauties posing near doors is! month for what was called
of out of state students." I 3. Listening to any non-fra- i also to be stopped. "high treason."
Rockhard's gentleman schol-
ars- . j
Specific charges filed
against the students included
violation of one of the follow
ing conduct rules:
1. Students must have writ
ten permission from the
dean of student affairs to
travel south of R St.
(Letters from parents,
guardians, old maid aunts,
pastors and dog lovers must
accompany every request for
such permission.)
2. Imbibing in any beverage
such as wine. Beer, Gin,
Vermouth, Bourbon,
Scotch, Olive Juice, or
Lemon extract is strictly
forbidden.
(The lemon extract was re
cently added in an ex
post facto action of Big
Brother.)
3. All groups of studenu
more or less than three
or even multiple thereof
must register their inten
tions w ith the administra
tion at all times.
Big brother declined to com
ment on which of the conduct
rules had been broken. They
are all locked.up and we can't
get at them right now, he
said.
The Star Chamberlain said
that only 3.939 students had
registered for the sunrise ser
vice. When we heard that
there were 4,000 students out
there, "we moved in" he said.
GOP Picks
Duck Pres
Shagriu Promises
Rie in Fortunes
Duck Shagrin has been
named president of the Uni
versity Young Republicans.
He succeeds Rapheal "Bab
bling" Brookes.
Duck told a Pink Rag re
porter "it is a real honor to
have been chosen for this
post. Under my reign, the
Youns Dem . that is the
to a campus height to which
they have never attained."
i He did not say how he in
to accomplish this
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X-""""1'" 11 BiininlHHiwi
Helpful hints for weekend beach
combers: You can improve your
catch in sunclothes by Jantzen.
