;r"'r not
s.'t , a work
' thrc
3 pl.bery r
x$ er r
"--V
vs.a t:ted ,-
ripped tr-
(1st aivi Kav.
mor, the P.;
Chancsllar H."
passed la, the 1
econocic strr
put Use Core!
ah:? in eduei.
y:-3, stude:
tu-.-s and f .
thei'wec
Aa raal f -r.-.!
A.gustu,;
. .-.Jofnai
: -..-s-s.
i: -rty r r
, x' iJttha
-- Ma ie
s: the ros !
wuld s
af- 14th
ST.;;T.iae as
As Ls City
t&! 3 es-er -
i U & were 5
'S8 tidvz i
" t ipeed '
7 it wo,
2 u,t r
' lli Si,
' id 1L.
Cut aSSlt. 4'
:x fce '
- shJl fee a.
2.a Zi jectage
A 7t.k nughi '
he dlfcl get a t
o te iriH eontin-o :
and Lirrsy of tLe
Out hers in Net:
A
IF
Y
By EAt '
53ka Canlff a
-:', terra'- Jv-
"" vrfa.T I. fcaa
I? ; t action
tf t a basics
' -r;I:an Way.
ii corr.';o
e!-ry win,
i-liiCS0I i.
5 tumpliill
;:;. TM$ was
tri-y .they
1, siaee it
2oi a sur
1 t i W, the story.
tLey had' a cute little
fjs cosch, who was a
ctrategiaa. And finally,
j were only six poor little
r's kids oa the teanj, all of
'i ha:i clean f apes. That
:;,;! must hate" everybody,
t a team like that lose.
; -d, of course, there is that
-" u.oua broad, who- is wicked
, -A Egfty bf-yxtd belief and ,
s-d 'ho sbould be run
i. rl i r-j a rdl.
" i i' -a yw, 1 !r. Carylf.
; . I i a j-f - t "-d in
' ''1 v , 1 zt fee
' 1 I.. . : . rp-
sr.
i v ! : i t!: big bey opened his
s f; Cm aha to Scottsbluff knew
..-uld just mean more taxes
:J t'.'td, more taxes? After all,
r..;.r;.f "s bed to sell one or two of
. ,ar.J cse of their Continentals to
est on the prairies this year. Many
jabs ss the vast population of Ne
:a let two or three servants go.
s inevitable and the governor knew it
t a call one morning few months
,;;vrr.atiaa recorded faithfully by our
r Ji;i ITrgrrty, went like this, "Vic?
j a k'nw that we're try in' to get a
gh t)j$ session."
'., I know it. But I can't afford to
.-as cut in Kavelock raised any more.
re a lot of folks in the- same position
one year
institution.
releases
state license
5 gonna work it, guv?"
- V. But I'm sure you n me 'n
i :l-ln OUt."
--cch with you. Bye."
. Cornhusker state who have
:. .? days of drought, fee great
'-.s Cattle of Gettysburg-On-.
for the action of the Uni-
l reidy for the shocking results
- ' t'.a chambers Saturday and
i L. iltZZS from' 21st and A to
- Aier huddles with the gov-
v, Joe Eovey and Joe Smith
' " -Mwed toe results of a bill
ire which, will change the
i u( Nebraska and once again
-' a- .-ta in a position of leader
. - J manufacturing.
3 i caa begin to cheer. The
" - .3 of words poured over it
".i ninths have been abolished.
l.s c;"ra down to us from
" - ; cf Nebraska will be
" ' rry from the University of
I f Lis bosses late Sunday'
' ' l new operations had
'- i'.va Lj helicopter high
'. j stste penitentiary our re
' s S.M cf machinery heading
i ITe could see the gates
r maa with a pipe in his
i mi set up offices.
cf Lincoln had
.1 I'.a's Comfort station not
hunting season.
. Former
Betabird
Lldies i'Josie
Ji Jt
? f T, vSo had been
- '--ys wlih no regard
f ched "go slow"
f 1 f people on the
a a t-crent story.
- srr f !-e eirwavers
.. s:ismpt to set
i ive tera a different
?s t!;e helicopters
l ,s Home landing
t .;.) he thought
: j j t ti same to
I M-a a lesson. But
live re si one and
1 'j tbs highways
cc-s get tickets
IVO
or four or five or six
ping up your gate post. You
have dealt the youth of Amer
ica a mortal blow, Mr. Caniff.
Most likely any sharp rises
in juvenile delinquency over
the next year or so will be'
traced back directly to young
people despondent over Stump
hill's fate.
And we never did find out
what the score was in that
longest of all basketball games
ever played on this continent.
The University has been
guardedly referred to a few
times in the past as a "cultural
desert" by those who have
cause to care anything about
it '
The overflowing crowd at
the Horror Show last month
should smash these rumors
pretty welL
There has been a lot of tak
lately about the parking situa
tion. Instead of aH talk,
something should probably be
don't, as talkmg only takes up
tirre that eould better be pent
dxr.g other things, like ia civil
enpneering c o r r e fcpondence
r "
y
L r . A TV " 3 C--
' It" r I Tmm
' i EssrvSce,
" ' tit Ul3
4 KrsfV, ?' v.
-, st a --
r , r.r t a wr hm M
ago, the Wheels of the University ma-
chinery took ever the newly constructed Maxl
mum Security Pen of the state prison and started
pulling the strings of the great workings of this
The Pink Rag has been given new tasks among
other things. We have been informed by the
Public Relations office that henceforth all news
would be done in our headquarters.
Sorority girls have been pushed out into the
streets-nit least .on the fringes of the campus
where no one else notices to make way for the
manufacturing equipment.
Amidst bitter cries Norman Gaske of the Art
Department has been sent a communique that
his mea will begin immediate work on designing
1) the license plates for the next seven years;
2) the migratory game bird stamp for the '57
coach Pete Elliott sent a letter via
from California with this significant
statement shortly after midnight on Sunday
morning. "I knew something was up on the
campus when I received a memo from the
Grounds Department that from the second week
of spring practice all men would wear plow disks
on their grid shoes and that I was to make sure
all practice sessions ended with running drills at
the University's experimental farms. My sus
picions were confirmed when Bill Jennings wired
me asking if it were not strange to have fertil
izer tractors follow the boys around while run
ning drills."
Some repercussions have been heard from the
Business Administration where Charles Miller is
reported to have exclaimed, 'They want me and
my colleagues to get jobs other than our work
here. Don't they know that biz ad people can't
be expected to handle real work 'out there'?"
And so the University turns from the relatively
peaceful state of a quiet sophisticated, literary
atmosphere to a wild rush to get the best jobs
first. Over in the counseling service Dr. War
nath has said that the seniors would be given
first preference for the better jobs. And Casey
needs a new draughter.
The University will make out all right without
a budget. We have seen what a budget could do
to our school and we won't let it happen. Ne
braska must remain strong and it can only do so
by being divorced from state support. Chancel
lor Hardin admonished from maximum security
late Sunday to every single student, "Help!
Helpl Lemme out I"
and school boys stand trial for double parking,
this kind of activity on the part of a national
official cannot be condoned. We're proud to
see that he didn't want to waste any time. But
we'd hate to see what would happen if he
died. After all, look who's left!
And then there's ,Mamie. Jff. Berlin, JLondeo
Paris, tanks and cannons couldn't do it, then
how would she feel if a crumby ole car did?
Oh Tempora, Oh mores! Public officials must
not get away with speeding. Sometimes there
are such things as ticket fixes but this can't
be condoned either.
The solution to the problem lies with the
American people. If he can speed then so can
we. And if he can take the chances of poor
little school children who have the misfortune
of being educated along the highways and bi
ways, then so can we.
A little committee working
unobtrusively in the alley be
hand the Grill has come up
with what looks like a farily
good solution do away with
cars entirely and replace them
with horses!
First it would give the cam
pus a Western atmosphere that
would look good on the covers
af Alumni magazines and col
lege bulletins.
Secondly, the results of this
changeover could probably be
put to use by the Ag College.
Thirdly, the University could
do away with Big Time Foot
ball and put in a crackerjack
pole team.
There all sorts of advantages
to this proposal, which will be
thought up and discussed at
the next meeting of the com
mittee. Every time I even think of
that Caniff rat I want to ga out
and kick a freshman, or some
;hing.
David Happily is dead!
good thing toe, yen knor .
He started people to thin"
big asd talking and that i
bad, as everyone knows.
ESITOaiAL STAFF
- - JM Daly
U't-jT I "S fS JH SJsttirrM
ikw a ft1
4,, & t .. . .... .(...'.... .IMko MtGTIHn
rJ.M I, .,...., ....Art KlaHcaaaa. Curoi Fnut
v Giwr teoyer. Baa Vt artmUnkl
Wttbt Stow editor - Msyw
........................ .IhM Vem
m f,- - De
Hr.V .t .- f'l
tuttra .!""' " Mr Kin, Mwir
I arK V.utm SlMwell, ttar m.ca.
9 ,.(. r-v m.isi, Iiiacom Geane, B(S .
ft, it HiiM, Uturv I tne. Mary
tiwu. lt Sarn-tt. Emmie U".
4tctf W ?S?w. ... w me lsi,K. tSyiBth tw.
' LtriM-SS STAFF
ftwtimt MamHnir - .. Mde
Kaatsen irrr Cpwwa.
C . - ... rr
Tom Mefl, tvtfg fc
The
'JGDI'OSfmil
rps
To the Editor:
Our magazine, Carvan is in
need of superior feature material
and we believe that the literary
source of the University is as
yet untapped.
I am under ,
the impression I
that some top
flight men
have been
g r a d uated
from the Uni
versity who
have subse
quently found
a solid place
in the literary
and journal-
t
Nebrankia Photo
Kent
is tic worlds.
I would therefore, appreciate any
co-ooeration ' you could offer in
aiding us to locate any such in
dividuals. What are we looking for? Well,
in the first place, we are seeking
to find new stories. If there are
any great Nebraskans, like Buf
falo Bill (who, I understand, is
defunct), or if there are any excit
ing stories, like bank robberies or
church fires, I would appreciate
knowing about them and about the
type person who could write such
stories.
Our rates are high for fiction.
We would be willing to contact
whomever we hear about and ne
gotiate with them about the mat
ter. It seems that I have taken
enough of your time and so will
close with an invitation to every
aspiring writer to get in touch
with me or one of the mem
bers of our Caravan staff.
Until we hear from you I'll leave
you with my best.
And by the way, say hello to
the boys on your sports desk.
They're doing a fine job.
leffe
ore or less
QfSOnol:.. ..
While skirting the campus yes
terday, I came across a young lady
lying in a pool of blood at the
foot of the steps of the union. She
was wrapped in a sheet of white
linen (which was fast becoming
soaked) and was crying.
She looked up at me and said . . .
"I see by your clothes that you
are a student."
"These words she did say as I
slowly walked by.
"Come sit down beside me and
hear my sad story for I'm shot in
the heart and I know I must die."
She said."""' " "
I then asked her if she had been
to Student Health.
"I see by your clothes that you
are a student."
She said.
I was wearing regular v student
apparel, a conservative navy-blue
suit, a white shirt, without a but
ton down collar and a solid color
tie).
"How can you tell I'm a stu
dent?" I asked.
She lifted her emaciated hand
and pointed to the buckles in the
fssm
A CP -This week, the Associated
Collegian Press pinched, shoved
and polled its way through 153 col
leges in the country to find out
what reaction of the students of
the U. S. was to the ban on
indoor kissing on the University
of Michigan campus. We believed
at the outset of the poll that it
was essential to speak with only
those students who were disin
terested in the subject.
Since we could find none, we
went right to the heart of the mat
ter and asked college stu
dents all over America this ques
tion: Kissing is a sign on affection.
It has been banned on one cam
pus indoors. In this fair to the
students?
Mea Women Total
It is fair 3 1
It is unfair 92 88 85
Dont know 1 6 1
Don't care 4 1
The figures show a fairly size
able majority agreeing with the
charges of "Unfair to Kissers."
Students who said that they felt
it was fair to ban kissing in pub
lic maintained that "the ostenta
tion of osculation occorring on a
perambulation would create a sen
sation." That Hud cf student
would think it's fair.
Some students cite specific in
stances where they are embar
rassed by the conduct of their
roommates or others living in the
same dam or sorority. "I believe
that when I brought my little
sister down here she was ab
solutely shocked. For she said
something like," Boy! Are they
behind the times!"
On the other hand, the vast
majority of the American college
students believe tht it's "o.k." to
kiss in the campus quarters.
"It's kind of like a bottle," one
college sophomore stated, "If you
can get couple of drinks whib in
a respectable place, you won't get
drunk. But if yaa have to go out ;
in the country, you don't feel you I
can return unless you've finished 1
Daily Nebraskan
Peanuts ... - ;: ,
plSAPp'j. q I tWU5ED10BEABlETDSsyTo I STUE&$A hfntl I I L APftlt FOOL ) "H i
( DAY IT WHAT J SGUEONE.'THEKE'S A SPiOEl? ON (5F1DK 0M 1 RhUun' J . L
VlTU5EST0B.y YOUf? EACKI'ANO THEN THEY D VftuRBm nnvvn.
"-- jump andswaaush' and Tr: ,rC I
THEN Y&JQ SAY.'APgiL F30L , "
Clark Kent
Editor, Caravan
To the Editor:
You, sir, are a presumptuous
boor. I have been writing letter
after letter to you in the hopes
that it would be published. I
have conversed with the chancel
lor in hopes that he would allow
me to have a voice in student
affairs. ,
I have again and again talked
with J. Colbert about the possibili
ties of getting a word in edge
wise. And despite all this do you
think my efforts would come to
any avail? Do you think I could
get some of my ideas into the
paper? Do you think there would
be any chance for me to have my
say? Dou you think the Pink Rag
would publish my letters?
.No.
Never. - .
The staff of your paper are in
competent juveniles no more suited
' for the jobs they hold than Dwight
Eisenhower is capable of running
General Motors. Your editorials
are rubbish; your columnists are
inane illeterates clambering to
reach some sort of obscurity. Which
one will get there first is hard to
say. But they all will.
Your news stories are out of
this world in triviality and your
ubiquitous nonsense has gone too
far. I wouldn't be surprised to
see more of that rediculous
little twerp, Peanuts.
Furthermore, I believe the cam
pus paper is uncolomadated.
J. F. Dulls
sam jensen
back of my coat, pants, hat and T
shirt. "You tie isn't tied," she said.
Ergo sum, I said. Tempus fu
git. Auf wiedersehn, I said.
She grabbed hold of my left leg
and pulled me to the earth.
"Come sit down beside me and
hear my sad story for I'm shot in
the heart and I know I must die."
She said.
I listened to her sad story.
Soon, I discovered that she was
a junior member of Kappa Alpha
Theta. She was also a member
of Student Union, Builders, AUF,
Aws,-tnjcwr nit Beta tfypr
WAA, Student Council and was
entered in the Miss Cornhusker
competition which is sponsored by
the Innocents Sciety as a public
service.
Her name was Hilda Lubaches
ki of the Lubacheski's of Worms.
Last night, she said, I dreamed
I was a Mortar Board in my Maiden-form
Bra. I climbed the steps
to the Fourth Floor, the mystic of
mystics. And there in the presence
of Mortar Board Internationl I
stood, she said.
1 rm
US
the bottle."
A junior at the University of Illi
nois said, "I'm against banning
kissing because it's so much fun.
Them that can, do; them that
can't, preach."
At the University of Nebraska,
a sorority girl, a senior, had this
to say, "You never even realize
that people are watching you. I'm
not ashamed of my guy. Why
Dyke's the finest young man in
the school. And If I cant kiss him
ia public, nobody else will!"
Over in Iowa, however, the
voice was tougher and more dis
gusted with the ban. A junior girl
in engineering said that kissing
f77 1
LiTTlI MAN ON CAMPUS by Dick Bibler
schultz-'sch maltz . .
Peasants, the other evening while
I was listening to Shostakovich,
reading Catullus, sipping Burgandy
and typing brilliant free verse
with my feet, I was again struck
by the thought that Nebraska is a
cultural desert. That is to say, not
everyone is like me. No one is
thinking deep thoughts; few ever
rise to the level of- Gleuk's Steit,
let alone to wine. How many resi
dents of this intellectual morass
have read anything besides a copy
of the February, 1918, Poultry
if
S. Schultz (left) and N. Chlng
(right) mourn poet's (center,
Happily F
Of Acute
David Happily, 21, of 1319 bo.
18th, was found dead Saturday
poetic pangs on the roof of Selleck
Quadrangle.
Hannilv. who had been a frequent
contributor to the Campus Green
column in the campus sheet, was
- iminr in soeech specializing. in
envelope stuffing. Doctors said
that the young man apparency nu
fallen from a sky hook and had
struck a sharp criticism of him
placed on the roof of the Quad.
Nelson Chuang, anower uiu
ire
was something like a Republican
Party. "Maybe you should keep
the Old Guard up, but for fast
action you can't beat this national
pastime no matter where."
Students who were undecided on
the question generally fell into two
categories. The first is those who
are already married and the sec
ond is those who are going to busi
ness colleges where there are no
dorms or campus living quarters.
"It's no problem here," one biz
school gal in Minneapolis stated.
"We have what are known to the
outside world as apartments. And
all our boys seem to do what is
known in art circles as sketches.
Enough said."
1 r.
Breeder's Monthly that happened to
be in the bar- w
ber shop three
months ago
when they got
their last hair
cuts? How ma
ny display suf
ficient ingenui-
ty to realize Vy
tnat u tney 1 . ?
took whiskey
into the Crib, j , -- - ,1 ,
they COUld Nebrika net
make their own Schults
Irish Coffee? How many displa
Nknukma PM
supine) passing.
Q3r UieS
riticism
.noet. rpnnrtftd the di
body as he was on the roof check
ing for burning mattresses. He
states to officials that the poet had'
a peaceful look on his face but
obvious grey hairs were intermin
gled in his curly locks. '
Happily had been a member of
Pi Xi, frequent contributor to The.
Prairie "Schooner and a member
of the Ak-Sar-Ben riding club.
Told of Happily's death, Sgt.
Nance of the ROTC stated that
"Dis guy's loss through dying will
be a preddy big blow to de library
woild on de NU campus. We're,
gonna miss dat guy aroun here.
. Karl Shapiro, editor of the Schoon
er, looking gloomy as usual, said
of Happily, "That boy was one of
the lights of this great and cultural
Midwest. Of course, he was just
one of the myriad of poets, authors,
philosophers and political thinkers
on this campus, but he was a great
inspiration to me and Buick. Ah,
the pivot is again wobbling."
Bernie Slow, friend and teacher
of Happily remarked to Daily Ne
braskan sources, "That Soy was al
ways so cheerful, always so calm,
alsways to so so clever."
Funeral services for Happily
will be held at the Diamond Bar
and Chapel, Tuesday evening fol
lowing the Nut Fry. Services will
be conducted by Bishop David Bat
asco of the Little Brown Church
in the Vale.
SPRING
I
I
,n ,-,, n,,,.,-.,.,.., T. ... , ""''"' " "I""1""1""""
"I beg your pardon, pretty Miss,
But would you give me m$a small Jobs?"
"And why should I da radii tHcj?
"Boc&ws, my dear, today it' spim j:
Because tbsre'a romaiice ia ths &r
Because you are bo very faarl
"Them's a lot in wo&t you've toil
Okay, kiss ms . . . $ ahead.
ftCZ&li Faint heart never won
real satisfaction in smoking. If you
like your pleasm BIG, smoke for
real smoke Chestereld. Packed
more smoothly by ACCU RAY,
it's the smoothed; tastirj
smoke today.
Smoke for real . smoke Chetrf!s!il
(50 far every philsjmphUal vert accepted for puUiai
tum. Chetterfidd, fX. Bat SI, New York 4$, N.Y.
O Ut a tobies. Cm.
Monday, ADrlM,
.
steve schulty :-
the aecorum necessary to bow '
I walk by? None, that', hl
ujcujjr. m
But understand that I ara M
attacking Nebraska in p&nkvl
The whole mid-west reeks of
nant mentalities. If anyone real
cared about culture, they Zj
be out building art Sri-I!
d corn fields. But no,
keep making money. 7 Jus?
Between Minneapolis and NeJ
Orleans, not a flag flies at 5
mast now that Stumphill's beaS?
That shows how UtUe they Si
for literature. 7 Car
Come to think of it tho th .v 1
U.S. is fighting culture'
nai . (Am I not a clever bhiZ
m,?k,er7i P,hll Picasso ow.
whelmed in the lamentable eW
tions of last November. Even gZ
Slipping Bob Ireland, molder 4
moldy public opinions, got m2
:fpab,0-(AsIremeS
Bob got one vote, but it was lost
ia the recount. The case has bra
appealed to the Supreme Court,
but you know what a bunch of
Commie rabble raisers they are
and I hope aU you pinks and fej!
low travelers are proud of the
they were chosen, and if New ReV
publicanism means a complek
surrender to the powers in tSg
Kremlin as Drew Pearson and!
have been led to believe-then y
can count me out, and anyway
you know what they say about
Dick Nixon.) ' T
But if you think the rest cf the
world is any -better , off than the
United States, you're sadly mi
taken. Look at Gina Loliobrigidi
for a second. (Just for a second
please. J u s t
. . . Now look, " I
if I'd known"
win nrnr tfrsiner M
to abandon me
just because of
Gina . . . Dam
mit, get back
to the column.)
If Italy can't
contribute any-
thing better
man auss VtbnAm fm
t lobrigida to the Pkaot
stream of world thought, thai I j
tone of voice.
So you can see what a fix T.S.
Eliot and I are in. Now that David
Happily's dead, there's no one with
whom our souls can commune.
Things are In bad shape, and it's
all the' fault of you naughty,
naughty bourgeousies. (
I speak of the late Mr. Hap!
rather sadly. But hope is not hi.
As was the case of Charles Dick
ens, Happily left posthumous works
so that humanity might know that
"cut is the bow that might have
grown so straight" to quote fin
great Mr. Shakespeare. Here a
Happily's last work. "If you have
tears, prepare to shed them now."
Marlowe. .-
How, bow, bow
Howls ihrongh Laboratories.
How howls, howls.
Why hew?
Why aot why?
And I hope J. L. Harpstreiia h
proud cf himself .
""i Good Teacheri Agenef"!
DAVIS
EsfeblM.4 MSS-aarrteo fiw Jf
529 Stuart Bldg. Uncola a
V
0
w4
n ti"fj i
!
f !
W01
Tbf
in
Jat
Srs
j not
lout
jreli
h
not
sta
hal
I or;
1
he
not
at
Ue
II
1
IK
we
op
.at1
"Jit
his
3(
Sffl
(in
i a.
"Sd
'At
f
I
t
o
a,,
