Friday, October 19, 1956
THE NEBRASKAN
Page 3
'round the
prickly
pear
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS
by Dick Bible?
Voice of
The Turtle
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More than one hundred years
ago, hardy groups of pioneers
struggled Westward to the gold
fields and the free land of Cali
fornia and the Northwest.
One of the more famous of their
routes the Oregon Trail passed
the length of wbit is now Nebras
ka. A few people stopped to stake
out on the grassy prairie, and be
came the first modern Nebraskans.
Some, however, kept moving to
the West.
They are still doing it. Every
wo years, a great Westward Mi
gration takes place from the gras
ay plains of Lincoln to the rugged
Fred Daly
majesty of Boulder, Colo. The mi
grants are students, wbo miss up
to four days of classes to make
the long trek across the dusty heart
of America.
There are a number of reasons
for this mass exodos. Some go to
partake of the healing waters in
the Temple of Taulagi's, and the
Sanctuary of The Sink. Others love
the fresh mountain air that eddys
through the Denver night spots.
Others just like to get away from
it all.
The key to the whole business,
however, is the football game be
tween Nebraska and Colorado. Ne
braska won the last time they were
out there, in 1934, and again last
year. In the brief time since Colo
rado entered the Big Seven, an in
tense rivalry has grown up be
tween the two schools.
The key to the victory is the Buf
falo Head, symbol of victory. Since
the Cornhuskers won last year,
CU will reward the head to Ne
braska at half-time for that vic
tory. The Buffalos. for that is the
nickname of the CU stalwarts, will
most Lkely to be a little bit ea
Loiterip
Pogo Abandoned
Dear Editor.
How could you allow your Oc
tober 16tn editorial go to press
after receiving Mr. Anderson's
very intelligent letter which was
published in the adjacent column?
His questions very pointedly ex
pressed many of the reader's dis
satisfaction with your illogical ap
proach to the political scene. Per
haps that is typical of those who
have backed "Pogo" for president
and have now abandoned their
former champion in support of a
candidate whose realm, unfortun
ately, is not solely confined to the
fantasy of the comics.
Nebraska is predominantly Re
publican and, as such, has
achieved a remarkable level of
brainwashing. The chant on every
one's lips is "peace, progress, and
prosperity." But what have con
temporary Nebraska Republicans
contributed to this cause? We are
s-i'.l faced with an antiquated tax
system. Our roads have the honor
of being among the worst in the
country. Our educational system
needs immediate "evaluation, par
ticularly in areas of teacher cer
tification and redistricting. Is this
what we are to consider to be
progress? And what of prosperity?
In a purely agricultural state
where everyone is more vitally af
fected by its economy than in
many other areas, can anyone de
ny that the situation is serious?
As far as the peace angle is con
cerned, it is nonsense to suggest
that anyone wants another war.
However, anyone who maintains
that the wars which have been
fought were merely for the gain of
a particular party does not deserve
the freedom be possesses because
of the sacrifice of those wbo have
preferred it for him.
With all these factors in mind,
then what is tV simple answer for
why the Republican party could
aeain be reelected to power? The
answer is this General Eisen
hower, It is not the Republican
party or their platform which is
e!I;ng the presidency. If it were,
there would not be a Democratic
ally controlled Congress. Presi
dent Eisenhower's popularity is a
vague and questionable combina
tion of a glamorous military ca
reer, flag-waving, Texas, Mamie,
jrrandchiidren, Sunday on the
farm, golf, the Bible, mothers,
the Constitution, bubble-topped
Lincoln, beef stew, heart attacks,
and an innumerable amount of
other props carefully assembled
by Robert Motgomery, George
Murphy and some annonymous
writers formerly with "Stella Dal
las." It should be a political philoso
phy put into intelligent practice
that sella a particular party. Tbe
vticaUy, any capable leader
aaould be able to lead bis party in
the accomplishment of these tasks.
The voters are not buying the Re
publican political philosophy and,
therefs.. President Eisenhower
personally make it more attrao
feeU it is necessary for him to
live. But what is to happen when
he can no longer be available fcr
our leadership? This is why it is
imperative that the voters develop
a realistic attitude toward the is
sue and consider the leaders in
accordance with the philosophy
which they profess. No individual j
is non-expendable. Only ideas can
survive and even these must be j
constantly reevaluted in a fluid ao-1
ly. s
ger to get the thing back again.
There seems to be some difference
of opinion between the two
schools as to whether or not this
will take place.
Also, it is Colorado's Homecom
ing, for which they have hired a
gent named Louis Armstrong and
his Redoubtables to make music
and otherwise entertain the faith
ful Friday and Saturday nights.
Nebraska upset the Buffs two years
ago to spoil the festivities.
Last year, at our own Homecom
ing, we upset CU again, to make
a success of our particular rites.
It must be more than a little dis
couraging. So, lumping together a pleasant
trip to the Rockies, a football con
test between two determined and
exceedingly stubborn outfits and
the unmatched party-party atmos
phere of a Colorado Homecoming,
it would appear from here to be
a most spectacular Migration.
"Glory, glory, Colorado, an d
to. . .'
1 i" i
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Ed. note: 1 order la ptaw a for
gotten srct erf readers, namely aspiring
Intellectuals, nils of culture will be in
serted from time to time, in today's
column.)
Tradition. Good old tradition. Be
it steeped in the tradition of John
Brown's fine old body, following i nls political weignt around. His
the tradition of motherhood, home ! raan Friday, who had currently
and the flag, or simply kissing un- been re-elected to the governor
der mistletoe, all good things must sn,P after lng defeated in a Free
have tradition I Soil landslide, was contacted. And
And migration being
gOOdi
thing is not without tradition
Let us pause for a moment and
turn back the grimy hands of time
(along with the faculty's wrinkles)
and examine this phenomena, re
sulting from the foundation of this
traditional institute.
Italia est magna insula
-G. Horace Flaccus
C. D. Thrasher, son of a local
wheat magnate grew restless of j
owning the only horse in a one- i
horse town and being long gone ;
from knee pants (predecessor of
bermudas) decided to make his
mark upon the world. f
His father, Brown Thrasher, 1
took the boy under wing and garb- j
ing him in the lastest catalogue J
fashions sent him East to his own !
alma mater. S
C. D. wasn't long for this world.!
One thing led to another. First,
down hours in Swahili 66, then a
ruptured spleen resulting from a
calcified crumpet and finally the
inevitable occurred expulsion.
Poor old C. D. tried so hard to
make good but his planting holly
bocks amidst the ivy was just too
much for campus officials.
Upon bearing of this. Brown
Thrasher, now a brome baron,
made his classic statement "this
is the last straw," and immediate
ly set out to iron out his boy's
future.
Old man Thrasher had a real
problem here. It was during his
weekly appointment with bis lady
barber named Delilah that the in
spiration came. Thrasher's old
classmate, Henry Ford had made
quite a name for himself by found
ing the Ford Foundation and con
tributing to institutions
And after all, Henry Ford wasn't
so rich. . .he never owned a Cadil-
J I
Hi A
IV,
AFTOfl SHAVE
LOTiOn
'AN ON THIS fWfc' KUNSTrf Wl
vice
lac in his life. So why, pray tell,
couldn't old Thrasher found some
sort of institution for his chip off
the old block to attend.
Brown Thrasher began to throw
. I as the pood povernrkr snrldenlv r-
.- . .. . , ,u
niiavvu siiuii ii i j iv a woo vu viic;
threshold of a millennium, the Uni
versity was formed.
And since it was to be located
in a group of Thrasher's aban
doned grain elevators the old sea
dog was given the honor of nam
ing the institution. This was quite
a decision and required much pon
dering over.
Le lirre est sot la table.
-Daudet
Being a fair and just man he
gavc jt much pondering over. To
a good university the title had
have a srnidgeon of culture,
Just , smidgeon mind you. No
. .
DOD COOK
-
m0rc' ,DOr!ess-, Just smj8con
Several of his learned friends pro
pounded examples: Oedipus Insti
tute, Cranium College, Partbanon
Prep. . .good, but more than a
smidgeon of culture, as anyone
could see.
Then it came. He would dedicate
the great institute to bis favorite
musician and composer. Bach
Woods Nebraska. Thrasher, who
was no slouch at the jews-barp and
famous in his college days for his
laconic birdcalls knew his music!
His idol, Nebraska, composer of
the Egg Candler Suite, had be
come world renowned for his abil
ity to pick out mournful Estonian
ballads on his metronome.
Bach Woods Nebraska Universi
ty was shortened to Nebraska U.
after a violent holy war between
the Corn Cobs and the adminis
tration and the school began to
grow.
The school song of "Home, Home
on the Grange" was adopted and
0tR f:
4 fef
versa ) I
i 4
A
ASOUNP Rf OWN BSHT ENS"
soon the department heads began
to roll. New instructors from all
ver the country were drawn to
NU to find sanction for academic
freedom. Such scholars as: Dr.
Frank Cromagnon, anthropology;
Fibula Flushbox, engineering;
Mort Pestel, pharmacy; a war
refugee from China who was a
military genius, Gung Ho, ROTC
and Elvis Pelvis, medicine, and
national president of Zeta Thigh
fraternity.
Com esta asted
Cervantes
And what has our young C. D.
Thrash all the meanwhile It
seems through some quirk of fate
be became graduated in one se
mester receiving 118 hours of
eights. (His father thought it a
bit unwise to give him nines stu
dents are a suspicious lot, you
know).
Under the guises of a graduate
student C. D. remained his seedy
self. In fact he was m tweedy
and seedy his doctor had tied his
umbilical cord in a Windsor knot!
However, a distressing thing was
i happening at school. The Corn fed
youth from outstate were not the
type these faculty members were
particularly fond of. Not to say
they were bad but the dance of the
time was the Turkey Trot.
So, the faculty committee on
committees made a resolution to
remedy this situation. After con
sultation with the poultry expert
on Ag campus they maintained
they could see no reasons why
turkeys couldn't migrate as it was
that time of year.
Hence, migration was officially
approved and thrived evermore.
Oh, and by the way, if you're ever
in Taulagi's at Boulder, look up
old C. D. The old scrapper never
made it back!
BILL MURRELLS
Drive la Barber Shop
and
Sportsman Barber Shop
15 & P r!l'r
:
Refraining onfiteptk och'on haols
roior nicks, h!p keep your skin
in top condition. 1.00 M.
SKUITON
A very comforting piece of in
formation has been brought to my
attention recently about Corn Cobs,
and I think that every comfort
ing piece of information about Corn
Cobs should be passed along these
days.
The Corn Cobs at the University
of Nebraska are not. as we have
been led to believe by alarmists,
on the verge of assuming a posi
tion of campus prominence. On the
contrary, Cob heads have ap
proached me with the prospect of
Bruce Brugmann
attacking their organization fierce
ly, simply to dispel the myth that
it no longer exists.
"Why," one representative be- j
gan, his voice choking noticeably, !
intone imormea me just me
other day that they just couldn't
beleve there was such an organiza
tion as Corn. Cobs." j
"No longer exists, no longer an
organization, I nudged him gent-1
ly. "Bosh! That just doesn't stack
up with the facts about Cobs."
What other campus organiza-
tion, I said, pulling him out of
range or a husky Tassel, "could
spend all Saturday morning hus
tling carnations and all-day suck
ers? 'What other campus organiza
tion could form such a solid mu
tual benefit society, electing them
selves periodically to office?
"What other campus organization
could hire Charlie Spivak, a vir
tually unknown dance band, for
such an all-important University
function as the Homecoming
dance?
"What other campus organiza
tion, with as much money in its
treasury as Corn Cobs, could sit
complacently on the sidelines
watching Louis Armstrong (as but
one example in comparative Big
Seven situations) play for two
nights at the Colorado Homecom
ing celebration?
"What other campus organiza
tion could, year in and year out,
bring in such a collection of anti
quated relics, deftly wipe "Tip
pecanoe and Tyler, too" from their
traveling cases, jack them up with
an assortment of jolly press re
leases and point them towards the
Coliseum platform Homecoming
eve?
"What other campus organiza
tion could raise such an upright
eous bellow when they find, in
stead of attending a formally con
stituted University function, many
students go tripping off to a local
bistro with Old Grandad?
""What other campus organiza
tion could embarrass The Nebras-
for
o
m
1
J
I
it
1
Phillips Petroleum Company, one of America's
great integrated oil companies, has positions
open for engineers, chemists, physicists and
virtually every kind of technical graduate at
the Bachelor, Master or Ph.D. levels.
Representatives of
PHILLIPS PETROLEUM COMPANY
will visit your campus on
Friday, October 26
YOU ARE INVITED
Placement Office. Or,
kan, who must consider the wel
fare of the university and the re
sponsibility of a campus newspa
per, in supporting the dance, to
the point where the editors would
like to tell the organization where
their cobs belong?
"And," I concluded lustily, with
a pleasant poke in the abdomen,
"what campus organization could
possibly prompt Fred Daly, the
hoary old man with the meer
schaum touch, to state: 'Cobs
would make a good fire, if some
one would put a match to them'."
"I see your point," the Cob
head said. "Unfortunately, we
must exist," and he whistled off,
possibly to find out why the color
ful Lord Kendall had decided to
assist a Union committee rather
than devote his time to Corn Cobs.
I received a letter from former
v-hraskan rnl.imnio R, tt
kl whn riirrpnM
' " j wuiab u aibtiv.
public relations work for the Uni
versity in the East.
I Plying that roguish touch which
we have all come to know and de-
tesi, young tienKie says in one of
his occasionally printable pass-
a8es:
"Why must my good name be
Sartorial
There are two distinct factions
on the campus. Those who like
hairy, ape-like crew-neck sweat
ers and those who do not. And
furthermore, there are two sub
factions of the faction which dis
likes hairy- ape-like crew-neck
sweaters, those who are ivy and
those who are not. Of course it is
a foregone conclusion that any
one who likes hairy- ape-like
sweaters is definitely ivy anyone
knows that.
The big Ivy movement which
encompasses approximately
37.456ro of the student body was
Bob Ireland
slow starting on the University
campus. In fact. Nebraska was
undoubtedly the last state to jump
on the green-leaved bandwagon
(this is supposed to be symbolic
of ivy).
Back in the traditional east
everything in the east is tradi
tional; clothes, cars, pencils, talk,
Republicanism, informal conform
ity, etc. the ivy movement was
instigated by such stores as Brooks
Brothers (home of the worst
salesman with the best products),
Rogers Peet, and J. Press, to
pportunities
ENGINEERS
and other
TECHNICAL
GRADUATES
to make an interview appointment with vouT
for further information, write:
D. R. McKeithan
Technical Employment Consultant,
Phillips Petroleum Company
Uartlcsvi!!e, OUahoma.
bandied about by every loose
tongued lout who has touched a
quill, so that it becomes a house
hold word with every wench and
street-walker in the Greater Lin
coln area?
"What is this cheap chaff about
'Builder's has taken up where
Roger Henkle left off?' Can I never
forget my sordid past; must you
rake up the much of my left-wing
associations of a by-gone era?"
Continuing to spray the campus
with "Bootless Cries,' the bard of
the Harvard Law Review eventu
ally asked of Jess Brownell, form
erly the "Albatross of Andrews
Hall' who left school last spring
following an article linking his
name closely with Adminny Hall
lieutenants.
Is it true, the Raffish Ragamuf-
i fin of Rathbone Road concluded.
tnat oia Jess was asked to leave
his pipe-laying job after the Tem
perance League decided to hold
their annual meeting in Wakefield?
(Eds. note: This report Is ob
viously without foundation. Though
j Browned may have left town, it
j is doubtful that he was holding a
j job, m-jch less one in which h
.was enraged to lay pipes.)
Splendor
mention a few. Three-button, button-down
shirts, pleatless pleata
with shiney buckles, hairy, ape
like crew-neck sweaters, and
sport coats with no padding, patch
pockets, and center-vent soon be
came symbols of every eastern
college man's sartorial splendor.
I am not sure when this big
move got under way but it was
quite some time ago. Any way,
by the time the ivy spirit hit such
midwest centers of conservatism
as Lake Forest and Highland Park
addicts of the great crusade were
wearing their trouser two inches
above their shoes and their coats
a full foot below their arm reach.
A sort of quasi-pumpkin display
at best, but comfortable.
Then, it seems, the ivy parade
jumped across the plains of Iowa
and Nebraska to Colorado U. and
Stanford. And finally in a great
puff of diffused, confused smoke
the ivy fires started burning in
the Cornhusker state.
Ivism is the official creed of the
well-dressed Husker. Everybody's
shirt is buttoned-down from at
least two positions. Ties are either
regimentally striped or lavishly
foularded. Pants are firmly buckled
from the back. Suits are either
tweedy of flannel with the "natural
look" prevailing.
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