Wednesday. October 10, 1955
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THE NEBRASKAN
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Nebraskan Editorials:
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Once again the University has been offered
membership in the National Student Associa
tion. In past years the University has been
asked "to join NSA and the student government
has turned down the invitation.
The Nebraskan doesn't object-to the Student
Council's rejection of NSA. Each member of the
Student Council has a vote; his appointment to
the council comes directly from the student
body. In other words, the students -can or can
not, indirectly, choose to join NSA. Indications
show that the NSA has met with a relative
amount of success on campuses around the
country.
Schools larger and smaller than Nebraska
have been benefited by the program of leader
ship training and problem study which NSA of
fers to its 31S member colleges.
Dean of Student Affairs J. P. Colbert suggests
that Nebraska invite members of NSA here to
discuss the program of student government de
velopment. Colbert commented that only
through an explanation of the NSA to the student
body can we decide whether or not we want the
University to join.
Common sense dictates that if the NSA has
helped 315 other colleges to improve the pro
gram of student government it might be able to
aid the one here. Certainly, field training, sem
inars and workshops can help the members of
the University's student government to under
stand the problems other schools have faced
and solved and subsequently our own.
James Pomroy, vice president for student
government of the NSA, said that the basic prob
lem with student councils across the land is
apathy. Perhaps this is why our University has
never been able to join an organization which
wants to "move ahead", as Pomroy put it,
rather than be complacent.
We believe that whether the University de
sires to affiliate with NSA or not, the students
should get an opportunity to hear what it has
to offer. We believe that students should be
given a chance to discuss the program with their
representatives on the council.
A give and take of ideas between colleges,
when these ideas are constructive, cannot be
harmful. But student government which is un
willing to give any program aimed at bettering
self-government of a university is the very gov
ernment which needs to be bolstered by a na
tional group such as NSA.
The decision is up to the students. But let's
give them a chance to decide whether or not
they want to participate in national student government.
LVfiof Afexf Mai?
To date, former Got. Stevenson of Illinois has
expressed a deep concern about H-Bomb tests,
he has proposed the possible elimination of the
draft, he is in favor of Federal aid to education
and be has said that a Federal aid program of
health insurance is certainly a possibility if a
Democratic administration is elected.
The two latter proposals appear to be "run
ning socialism."
The first two thoughts would probably not do
much to strengthen national security. President
Eisenhower has already stated that talk of end
ing the draft has caused some damage abroad
among both friends and allies.
It would appear that Mr. Stevenson is quite
willing to help out the average American, but
is he concerned about the General Welfare?
Even though college students are one of the
groups most affected by the draft, few would
advocate the elimination of the selective service
programespecially in these times. It was
during the Democratic reign that almost one
third of the world was lost to Communism the
result of a small stick and a small voice.
Mr. Stevenson's plans concerning education
and health hospitalization insurance will prob
ably sound desirable to many people, but the re
action from educators and medical people is
already beginning. Few local boards of educa
tion have asked or will ask for federal aid to
education at the cost of being responsible to a
Washington bureaucracy. Federal aid to persons
without the ability to pay hospital bills is good
politics but is it practical economics?
It is usually very difficult to understand how
the Democratic slate proposes to improve the
policies of the present administration. And it
is even more difficult to believe that such things
as the elimination of the draft and M-Bomb tests
would be much benefit.
slcei For GfanM
One of the biggest show-off points for schools
in Florida and sunny California are the bevies
of beautiful girls they have strolling about their
campuses. Every bit of literature they send out
has a number of smiling pretties gracing the
ivied walls.
"Even the Eastern women's schools advertise
the beauty and elegance of their students, and
they romp about in Bermuda shorts and riding
pants. There is all kinds of noise made about
this sort, of thing, even in Big Seven schools
such as Colorado and Missouri, with their handy
little girl's schools at easy reach.
At Nebraska, however, no one really brags
about how beautiful the girls are. It is taken
. for granted.
For here, in its simple prairie setting, a
modest land-grant school is practically crawling
with beauty queens. Not exactly crawling, be
cause no one objects. Rather, it is a fine and
truly wonderous thing.
Most recently, Miss Shari Lewis and Miss
Dallas Hunt won the particular titles they were
seeking.
This was no real surprise to anyone. In its
own quiet and unassuming way, the University
has found itself turning out a like brand of quiet
and unassuming Queens,
They're pretty, te
Stanley Long
It is the hope of most public servants that
when death comes, it will be in the midst of the
day's work when the final twilight settles, the
closing light will show on a work of recognized
ervice,
Stanley D. Long of Grand Island served the
University for 24 years as a member of the
Board of Regents. He was president of the
University's governing body for four terms. He
was proud of his association with the Innocents
Society and the University.
A candidate for office on the Democratic
ticket in state and congressional elections, Mr.
Long was the current nominee for Lieut. Gov
ernor in the November election.
The University has many friends, but few have
served her as well as Stanley Long.
Of P
ofs Mi Politics...
Election polls and then relative significance
ttavt always been a question of extreme con
"troverry ever since the famous Dewey-Gallup
fiasco of 1948. Both parties have issued to date
what seem to be factually supported statements
claiming the endorsement of the majority of the
younger voting generation.
The Young Republican National Federation
recently issued the following statement concern
ing the attitudes of the nation's voting youth, A
recent nation-wide survey of young voters by fee
Gallup Poll indicates that President Eisenhower
bow holds a 48-47 edge over Stevenson
among voters in the 21-29 age group with 5
still undecided.
la typical election-year fashion the National
Headquarters of the Volunteers For Stevenson
Kefauver retaliated immediately with detailed
results of their own private polL It seems that
the Students for Stevenson-Kefauver questioned
987 students representing ten colleges and found
Chat some 53 favored Adlai, 43 liked Ike,
and only 4 were undecided.
It seems that the only importance these polls
possess is the amount of influence their pub
lished results have on the voting public. If the
American public continues to be beseiged by
polls wilh similar intentions but with completely
opposite findings they will eventually disregard
thexa only as facets of propaganda.
Last August very few election experts gave
fee Democrats even a fighting chance is the
coming presidential battle. Now, however, the
political clairvoyants state very clearly that
Adlai and crew have an excellent opportunity to
capture not only both houses of Congress but
the presidency also.
The Democrats appear to be a better organ
ized party than their GOP rivals. Much of their
success in Maine is attributed to a new, spirited
force in the Democratic state political organiza
tion. The Republicans on the other band seem to
lack the necessary drive and inherent enthusi
asm required to score great political victories.
Certainly the Maine crises confirms this
premise. In his acceptance speech at last
August's convention. President Eisenhower
stated that be hoped he might be the leader of
a revival on the part of this new generation.
Through no lack of effort on his part but
rather through a serious situation of compla
cency which exists in the rank and file of the
GOP his hopes don't seem to be materializing.
After thoughts
No Fin For Knowledge
The UCLA library has decided not to fine
Caryl and Susan Volkman for overdue books.
The library cancelled the fines when at learned
that the twin girls used the books to prepare for
appearances on "The $64,000 Question" television
show. The books proved valuable too; the Volk
man twins bowed out of the show after winning
$164)09.
The Nebraskan
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University f Nebraska
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She was an overwhelming female
of the 39-26-36 variety, with more
curves than a package of warped
lifesavers: A chasis which any dolt
over shaving age could see was
no stock model but definitely cus
tom built; and the whole hand
some assembly shoehorned into a
slinky cocktail dress.
And in her wake was a campus
of moonstruck males, all seem
ingly stricken with psychosomatic
trauma. But it was just a matter of
minutes before the illusion was
shattered by an innocent bystand
er who made the old college try
and received the standard reply:
"Oh, I'm just up for the weekend
from another school."
The same old story.
Let us examine the plight of the
masculine Nebraskan, upon whom
Bob Cook
fate has seemingly grimaced, and
the addage that he has learned to
live by:"The farmers send their
cattle to Omaha and their pigs to
Lincoln."
Before we can delve into this
ever popular subject its prerequi
sites must first be explored. The
female population at NU is classi
fied into the following species:
FEMALUS GIGANTUS Local
Amazon chapter
FEMALUS BEASTUS Words
cannot describe this phenomena
FEMALUS ROTUNDUS Vive
la girdle
FEMALUS COMMONUS The
girls all like her; she makes her
own clothes
FEMALUS BIRD . DOGGUS
Keep alert, boy
FEMALUS QUEENUS Extinct
But I digress.
About this type of fine Ameri
can feminity that has caused many
a man to burst from asunder, base
ball to be replaced as the na
tional pastime, and the flag, the
home and motherhood to be
staunchly defended. The perfect
girl, the girl of your dreams, the
Sweetheart of Sugmund Freud (as
that old song goes).
She has become the vanishing
American.
Take for instance our run-of-the-mill
Nebraska male; tweedy,
seedy and needy. What would hap
pen if he should come face to
face with the girl of his dreams?
C. Clyde Quagmire, philosopher,
savoir faire, BMOC, connoiseur
of fine cheeses and a member of
Ag Exec Board had 'it happen at
NU.'
"Turkey", as bis friends all
called him, was nudged off of his
roost in his Entomology 88 class
one morning by a smiling corn
fed young Nebraska beauty. Be
ing a serious student, and realiz
ing the future of the world was
balanced on his shoulders as a fu
ture farmer of America, he dis
regarded the whole incident and
took it with a grain of salt (or
rather a block of salt as is the cus
tom on Ag campus).
It was not until the next eve
ning after the annual Square dance
that Turkey had realized what had
happened to him. He was wedged
into aa overwhelming crowd at
the local pizzaria when he heard
above the din a soprano cry for
TUP
BAB
Emmm
a $1.50 alfalfa pizza to go. Some
thing in common! He rushed
through the mob with the cunning
of a halfback to see who it was.
And as sure as there's cribbing in
EC. 11 it was HER again.
Despite a sudden attack of hay
fever, he swept his true lover Ma
tilda off of her feet and equipped
with a $1.50 alfalfa pizza and his
autographed Elvis guitar he was
bound for the far-off depths of
the tractor testing grounds to woo
her.
It was only a matter of min
utes until Turkey's John Deere
was heard humming back to the
campus. For he found that Ma
tilda was just as deceiving as the
Sears catalog and that love isn't
really a many splendored thing
as she had ordered the pizza for
her room mate.
Matilda went home to the farm
and another beauty had disap
peared from the NU campus.
In Cycles
The Daily Trojan, student news
paper at Southern California, has
finally found an answer to the
eternal parking problem bicycles.
The solution, it says, is both
"practical and vital" and the Tro
jan even sponsored a successful
Bicycle week when cars were ta
boo on campus.
Bicycles are popular on other
campuses also. The latest fad is
racing from campus to campus.
In the East, Yale and Vassar con
tinue the constant battle between
the sexes on wheels each spring
in a 77-mile bike relay.
Another college has started of
fering a new course "cycle
ology," devoted to bikes. This
sounds like an excellent required
course for freshmen. It would also
solve the parking problem if all
freshmen would be required to
take such a course and ride bi
cycles to class. Besides, you can
have only two flat tires at a time
on a bicycle.
Number, Please
Also at Colorado, a slight mis
take in a phone number has
caused a lot of trouble.
For Mrs. N. W. Tripp of Boulder
it has meant many calls from
University men asking for dates.
Her phone number is HI 2-1480
the number listed in a piece of
freshman information for a wom
en's residence hall.
Mrs. Tripp has been by the
phone almost constantly since the
beginning of Welcome Week. She
could change her number but then
her friends wouldn't know where
to find her.
FRIDAY
October 12
COLLEGE
NIGHT
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3
Dancing 9 until 12
Couples Only
Adm. $1.70 Fer Coo pie
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Obtain Your FREE
Philip Morris
Football Schedule
Csra r j
Gisrgt & Harry1
Let's
Psrk-0-TcI
aradoria
Marl Sandoz wanted to get her
Nebraska down on paper before it
vanished forever.
The state was sandpaper coun
try once. When Old Jules knew it
Nebraska was rugged it
scratched anyone who rubbed i:
the wrong way. It thinned pioneer
droves searching for the West and
made room for only the courag
eous. Something of that pioneer spirit
brought Jules Sandoz to Nebras
ka. And something of that same
spirit brings Nebraskans to our
University today.
Mari's father lived with Indians
for his first two years in Nebraska.
He had to weather the God-forsaken
Sandhills region. But he
Dick Shugrue
made it blossom into fertile thou
sand dollar acres of bountiful or
chards. Jules' state might possibly be
vanishing. But the will to try the
impossible in an impossible re
gion is the spirit of Old Jule
the soul of old Nebraska. It's still
around.
The University is the new pioneer
area of the Beef State. Here some
thing more than lectures and par
ties and assignments lurks arounJ
the old columns.
Nothing quite so dramatic as
Jules' fight with hostile savages
or his row with surly neighbors
makes crackerbarrel headlines in
Nebraska. In fact the struggle to
find the Nebraska spirit is only
remotely connected with the life
struggle so many students like to
babble about.
Nowadays, the problem is Ne
braska for Nebraska. . . To live
and die in Nebraska because tha
state is good and is what peopla
like Old Jules have made of it.
Mari Sandoz left Nebraska ia
April of 1940.
But when she stops here every
now and then she must notice
that the spirit of her father nasn't
altogether vanished.
She might remember a fellow
named "Teter'' (that's all) who
wanted to play against Notre
Dame one- time. Whether he did
or didn't doesn't really matter.
The fact that he wanted to be
just an anonymous part of the
Comhusker squad for the sake of
his school his state does.
Or she could even look around
the campus and find ineiLgibls
football players men who want
like the devil to play and can't.
They still get banged around ev
ery afternoon waiting for the "next
season" which never seems to
come.
A look at Ralph Mueller's Tow
er blasting away on a hot Sunday
afternoon might convince Marl
Sandoz that her father's Nebraska
hasn't vanished. I, at least, am
somewhat touched to think that
Nebraska meant something to
someone a thousand miles away
and the songs that cheered him
to maturity still cheer us Nebras
kans to the spirit of Old Jules.
It hasn't really vanished. It just
becomes stagnant in the torrid
summer sun or freezes in the
unbearable (we do bear them,
though) winter and it takes the
spectacular autumns and the sen
timental carrilon chimes to re
mind all of us that Nebraska is
still trudging along with the same
incredible spirit which Old Jules
felt was tha heritage of the pioneer.
(Author Sartfett Bt W Ck." U.f
MARKING ON THE CURVE...
AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Twookey Crimscott was a professor. Choate Sig&foos,
was a sophomore. Twonkey Crimscott was keen, cold,
brilliant. Choate Sigafoos was loose, vague, adenoidal
Twonkey Crimscott believed In diligence, discipline, and
marking on the ci'xve. Choate Sigafoos believed ia elves,
Jayne Mansfield, and thirteen hours sleep each eight.
Yet there came a time when Twonkey Crimscott
mentor, sage, and savant was thoroughly out-thought,
out-foxed, out-maneuvered, out-ployed, and out-witted
by Choate Sigafoos, sophomore.
It happened one day when Choate was at the library
studying for one of Mr. Crimscott' exams in sociology.
Mr. Crimscott's exams were murder plain, fiat murder.
They consisted of one hundred questions, each question
having four possible answers-A, B, C, and D. The trouble
was that the four choices were so subtly shaded, so in
tricately worded, that students more clever by far than
Choate Sigafoos were often set to gibbering.
So on this day Choate sat in the library poring over
his sociology text, his tiny brow furrowed with concen
tration, while all around him sat the other members of
the sociology class, every one studying like crazy. "What
a waste 5" he thought "All this youth, this verve, this
bounce, chained to musty books in a musty library I We
should be out singing and dancing and smooching and
cutting didoes on the greensward!'
Then, suddenly, an absolute gasser of an idea hit
Choate. "Listen " he shouted to his classmates. "Tomor
row when we take the exam, let's all every one of us
check Choice 'A' on every question every one of them.'
"Huh?" said his classmates.
"Mr. Crimscott marks on the curve. If we all check
the same answers, then we all get the same score, and
everybody in the class gets a 'CY
"limn," said his classmates. ,
"Let's get out of here and have a ball J" said Choate.
So they all ran out and lit Philip Morrises and had
a ball, as, indeed, you will too when you light a Philip
Morris, for if there ever was a cigarette to lift the spirit
and gladden the heart, it is today new Philip Morris
firm and pure and fragrant and filled with true, natural,
golden tobacco, lip end to tip end.
.-mm. . ....Kvt-.-ir---'"mK-..
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lteH sir, the next morning the whole class did what
. Choate said and, sure enough, they all got "C's," and they
picked Choate up and carried him on their shoulders and
sang "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" and plied him with
sweetmeats and Philip Morris and girls and put oa
buttons which said "I DOTE ON CHOATE."
But they were celebrating too soon. Because the next
time shrewd old Mr. Crimscott gave them a test, he gave
them only one question to wit: write a 20,000 word
essay on "Crime Does Not Pay."
"You and your Ideas," they said to Choate and tora
off his epaulets and broke his sword and drummed him
out of the school. Today, a broken man, he earns a meager
living as a camshaft in Toledo.
tVu SMaua, 1M
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nw PhUip Mmrit. So, eomfUently, May tho mkr$ of Philip
MorrU, mho bftng you thl eolumm, mmth teeth.
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