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Page 4
THE NEBRASKAN
Greater Freedom:
Johnstonovich Forms
NKVD For NU Women
Tuesday, Moy 1, 1956 j .
By GIRL COMRADE
The AWS 2 a.m. late hour rul
ing has been rescinded and is to
be supplanted by the NKVD, Dean
Magda Johnstonovich, Grand Pro
curator of the People's Commis
sariate of Internal Affairs an
nounced today.
"The NKVD," Dean Johnstono
vich explained," is merely an or
ganization, shrouded in a blanket
of secrecy, that detects and cor
rects deviationist who have not
conformed to the social strata."
"Is being step toward greater
freedom," Dean Johnstonovich
said, explaining the new system.
"Coed ladies will be on an honor
system. They will be honest and
sign for late minutes when they
are late without having house
mothers ' enforce regulations. The
NKVD will "check on any opposi
tionists and help everyone to live
together "in peace," Dean Johnston
ovich concluded.
Polly an n P. Positivethought,
AWS president, said she was
"Happy" over the adoption of the
new system. "It is an action that
we have long awaited. I am sure
University women will use this
opportunity to prove they have
reached . social harmony," Miss
Positivethought said.
Miss Ima Typicalone, University
student was asked by a Nebr?.skan
survey for her opinion of the ad
ministrative action. "Personally,"
she said, "What does it mean?
Mother says I can't be brain
washed anymore, because I don't
have any more brains."
Currently, the NKVD is re
cruiting and training professional
security personnel in preparation
for an expected need of their serv
ices. A reliable source said the
NKVD has received numerous re
ports of indecent thoughts among
the coeds, and it has reached the
point where their methods of cor
rection are needed.
The NKVD operates on the prin
ciple of surveillance and investi
gation, arrest and examination
and sentencing the convicted to a
series of punishments which range
from instruction in pure thoughts
to "going to the laundry."
"Going to the laundrey" is the
colliquial phraseology applied to
the tactics of interrogation and in
timidation, coupled with denuda
tions and terror. The process is
commonly called brainwashing.
The NKVD hopes to eradicate
every counter-decency thought
from the minds of dewey-eyed wo
men, Dean Johnstonovich said. The
greater freedom of hours the coeds
enjoy will be overshadowed only
by their fear of denuciation, Dean
Johnstonovich said.
Rewards will be given to those
who denounce friends, she said. In
this way the NKVD will strenghten
loyalities and close the gap be
tween the sutdents and administration.
Hog-Calling:
Ag Exec Plans Panty Raid
For Neglected Ag Girls
A special series of Ag campusbe penalized by the judges super-
spring day events are being plan
ned under the guidance of the Ag
Exec Board, according to Dean
William V. Lambert.
Highlights of the day will be an
administration sanctioned panty
raid and a student-faculty hog
calling contest, Lambert an
nounced. "I have always been of the opin
ion that panty raids are a very
worthwhile student activity, if prop
erly organized and supervised," he
said.
"We have a very Fine organized
residence hall for women on the
Ag campus and will soon be adding
a new one. Therefore, I think it is
only fair that these girls be al
lowed to take part in events that
normally only occur on the down-
.town. campus Since it is the duty
of the Ag Exec Board to coordinate
student activities on the Ag cam
pus, they are the logical choice to
supervise these events," he ad
ded. Larry Connor, president of the
Ag Exec Board, has personally tak
en charge of all arrangements for
the raid.
Men on the Ag campus who wish
to participate must sign up by
May 3. Registrants will be divided
into teams of 20 men each. Each
- tem will be given 15 minutes to
complete its phase of the raid.
Teams are being kept small U
prevent congestion in rooms and
hallways, in the event of fire or
other unforseen complications.
Each man will be permitted to
confiscate any article of clothing
so long as it is not being worn at
the time of seizure and does not
exceed one dollar in value. Any
one failing to be polite or tact
ful in obtaining these trophies will
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Coeds Meet Wolf
Xebraskan rhoto.)
University coeds are shown
above with a tame wolf of i the
same species that recently de
voured several University stu
dents. Alice, the wolf above, was
raised by the curator of Nebras
ka Art Galleries, Pete Bohem
ian, as a model. Bohemian says
Alice is occasionally violent to
the extent of nibbling his three
year old son severely but has
not yet been destructive.
Police Investigate:
Five NU Students Eaten
By Pack Of Wolves
vising the event. Judges will be
selected from among the Mortar
Boards and Innocents.
The man collecting the most
articles of clothing will have his
name inscribed on a traveling
"Raider's Plaque" to be present
ed during the Farmers' Fair.
"The hog calling contest was
added in hopes of bringing about
better student - faculty relation
ships," Lambert said.
"It isn't often that students and
teachers are able to compete to
gether on the same level," he con
cluded. Judging will be on the basis of
tonal quality, emotional appeal,
and volume.
Hogs will be furnished by the
University.
Five University students were
devoured by wolves near Love Me
morial Library Monday afternoon.
The wolves, estimated by on
lookers to be about 14 in number
disappeared soon after the car
nage and have not yet been lo
cated, A special detail of campus
police and special Administration
investigators recruited from fra
ternity parking lots have been put
on the case.
Those devoured were: Sam J.
Norele, junior in undeclared; By
ron Bastryck, sophomore in Busi
ness Administration; Olive Mar
tini, freshman in Elementary Edu
cation; Maude Strump, senior in
Home Economics, and Cyril
Branchwater, exchange student
from Texas.
"Those wolves just came running
out of nowhere and gobbled those
people clean up," Ethyl Thrugg,
an eyewitness, testified.
Other students near the scene of
the mishap registered similar
amazement.
"I thought it was the security
investigators again," Claude
Smeerp, sophomore in Arts and
Sciences, said.
Dr. T. I. Hrsbkzp, Professor of
Furzecutting and oldest member
of the University faculty said it
was the first time, to his know
ledge, that anyone had even been
devoured by wolves on the Univer
sity campus.
The situation is all the more
amazing in that there hasn't ever
been any wolves of the variety re
ported in the area Monday in this
part of the state," Dr. Hrsbkzp
added.
So far police have been placed
in and around Morrill Hall as a
precautionary measure. Extra
chains have been put around the
elephants in the museum, the po
lice announced.
In an open letter to the Univer
sity, the Administration has asked
that anyone knowing the where
abouts of the wolves, or any infor
mation pertaining to them, please
notify the campus police.
"The University hopes that the
people of the State of Nebraska re
alize that this sort of thing is not
condoned on the campus, and that
all available means are being tak
en to find the wolves and destroy
them.
A fund-raising drive to erect a
small stone in memory of the vic
tims has collected so far a total
of $3.36. All contributions may be
sent to The Pink Rag, Room 20,
Student Union, in coin or stamps.
'Negative':
Council
Examines
Project
Student Council announced today
that it will hold an immediate in
vestigation of the Lincoln Project.
The Council stated in its report
that the Project is suspected of not
supporting its policy.
Marvin Lesbrow, Council mem
ber, stated that from the latest re
port on recent testings on campus,
the results have possibilities of be
ing negative.
"In addition," Lesbrow said,
"there is a suspicion that the
choices of needy families to which
the Project is giving assistance is
undemocratic. The Council believes
that many families are not being
reached."
Sharon Ganmold, also a Council
member, said that the Council may
ask the Project to adopt an "all
or none" policy in the selection of
needy families.
4
.V ;i ? :
Editor Tells
Secret Talent
Of Staffers
(Nbraskan Photo.)
Alcohol Suggested
A University official, back to
camera, is shown speaking at a
Union seminar on the topic of
"Alcohol and the Student." The
seminar was sponsored by the
Union convocations committee,
which has been expanded to in
clude bar service in light of
the recent liquor by the drink
policy.
The Inside World
Notice
Bob kmaa. Alpha Taa O intra, wanted
um placed In the Pink Kit. ho
ker it is: Bob Memaa.
fr -n v K
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NPVSSA !
The North Platte Valley Skeet
Shooting Association will meet
Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. in Room
80 of the Union.
A short paper entitled "Lo, the
Poor Buffal," will be read, and
refreshments will be served. After
the meeting the members will re
tire to shoot a few skeet on the
Mall.
Meeting
The Society to Put a Bone in
Mutha Hubbahd's Cuhbuhd will
meet Thursday in the basement of
Burnett Hall. Elvis Presley will
provide the entertainment.
Freeloaders
The Young Freeloaders of Amer
ica will hold a get-acquainted
meeting Tuesday at 2 p.m. in the
Union Lounge. The afternoon will
be spent mooching cigarets and
bumming rides home to Seattle.
President
New president of Upsilon Rho
Pi, local egg-candling honorary,
is Olivia Weatherhogg.
Miss Weatherhogg is the only
member.
Gold Brick
All students desiring a guilded
brick from Ellen Smith Hall when
ever it is torn down may submit
their name to a special booth re
cently set up in the Union. A de
posit of $.73 is required to cover
gilding. For an additional 11 cents,
a decal from Estes Park will be
added.
Builders
There will be a Builders Board
meeting Tuesday evening in the
Union at 7 p.m. Board members
will be required to bring samples
of what they have built in the last
week.
Those members having built
something too large to bring, like
a wine press, may bring slides or
pictures, the Builders Building
Committee announced.
RAM
Tomorrow the Relieve American
Mothers club will hold their an
nual picnic. The RAM's will meet
in the Pen Woods Pasture at 6:30
p.m. to frollick in the sweet dew.
Founders
Anyone wishing to j o i n ' the
Young People for President club
may attend the founders meeting
June 1. If you want to join, Jack
son Morex, president, has asked
that you bring your own clubs. Ne
braska farmers will serve as cad
dies for a fee. So don't forget your
five cents and a sandwich.
Parties
Union officials have announced
that they will present a series of
instructive lessons on how to be a
corking good hostess. If you want
to be the one to get raves for fine
parties, Hold Them!
The Nebraskan has been able to ,
obtain an exclusive interview with
the editor of the foremost campus
literary project The Pipsqueak
Press. i
Q. How is this year's edition of the
Pipsqueak Press coming?
A. Well, we ain't doing too well. .'
You see, not too many of the j
bovs can write verv well. Some
of them can't even spell.
Q. What do you gentlemen do other
than print the Pipsqueak Press?
A. Boy, can we drink.
Q. Do you do anything else?
A. Well, we drink lots of different
kinds of things.
Q. Anything else?
A. After we drink awhile, we talk
and make noise and make plans
how we are going to take over
everything and then we drink some
more.
Q. What have you accomplished?
A. We got a lot of boys in big posi
tions, and we can sure drink.
Q. What do you think of TNE?
A. We can sure drink.
Q. What do you think?
A. We can sure drink.
Q. Can you think?
A. We can sure drink.
TFC
The Inferno Fuel Club will light
their fires for their regular meet
ing at the Chimmney tonight at
11 prm. The IFC is sponsored by
the Old Crow Match Company.
Formal
CCC will present it's semf-pues-do-formal
Formal next Monday at
the New Ritz DB&G. Ben Simon
Jr. President of the Cool Cumber
boun Cats has announced that
Orange and Grape colored Ber
mudas with plain red, purple and
yellow dinner jackets will be the
official dress for members. Blue
suede shoes will be worn.
Classified Ads
FOR SALE '47 Ford, good condition.
Must Sell. Contact Warren Burt,
5-2957.
Room For Kent. Prefer 1 or 2 college
girls. Extremely reasonable. Can move
In NOW, Sl'MMKK, or FALL. Call
3-6S61 8:30-noon or 8-7 p.m.
Wanted Olrl wants ride to Johnson
ny time. Call 2-3587.
For Sale: A variety ot books from Love
Library. Will sell cheaply to pay for
fines. Call Bruce Bright Brugmann,
2-7S31.
Wanted: Date for Saturday night. Must
be able to take care of Ivy Pay bruises.
Blonde and avmpathetic type preferred.
Call Bob Cook, 6-tbi2.
Wanted: Male student, over 21. to shara
expenses on an apt. atartlng summer
session. Call 6-21:51.
Get A Head In The
Medical Profession
WANT TO BE A
BIG OPERATOR?,
FORCEP YOUR
WAY TO FAME.
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HAVE YOU
EVER WOND- I
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HELP MAKE
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PUBLIC MORE
OPEN MINDED.
LEARN BRAIN SURGERY
At Home
Give your friends our special Address oil cnrreRponHpnv
BRAIN SURGERY CORRESPOND- DR. SARAH BELLUM,
ENCE COURSE as a gift. No MEDULLA, OBLONGATA,
mouldy old cadavers, no messy One free sample of "Bran Wash"
old chem labs, no grouchy old pro- to be given the first 100 people who
fessors, and most of all , , . no subscribe to our course. Man it
future. takes brains to stay in the business.
U yimlr&i irfiiXlr'- I frill AW r?AWnvan MUMxit)
Who's Whose?
Shown above, in general con
fusion, is the three - legged race
Axed:
'eriy Llemovai List
Admlnstrative removals for the
day: As of press time adminis
trative removals are as follows:
Leland Arnot, Instructor in Dental
Literature and History.
Reason: Use of definately ob
scene literature. Purely an ad
ministrative matter.
Milton Beckman, Assistant Pro
fessor of Secondary Education and
Supervisor of Mathematics.
Reason: rumored connection with
numbers racket Administrative
change only.
Arthur Belknap, Captain U. S.
Army, Assistant Professor of Mil
itary Science and Tactics.
Reason: Tried wrong tactics.
Winifred Cochran, Study Hall Su
pervisor, University High School.
Reason: Not enough attention to
research in the field.
Carl Donaldson, Director of Pur
chases and Procurement.
Reason: Procurement.
Joha Elder, Soil Scientist, Conser
vation and Survey Division.
Reason: Caught wasting soil.
Board of Regents report that
there is nothing personal in the re
moval. Mr. Elder was well known
for his dirt, but the removal was
decided to preserve adacemic in
tegrity. Noraan Ceske, Acting Director,
University Art Galleries.
Reason: Phonographic paintings. I
The administration has taken the
vidence under advisement.
Paul Griminger, Assistant Profes
sor of Poultry Husbandry.
'.'Reason: MMessing with chicks.
6erg Haldrea, Instructor in Bus
i'wss Organization and Manage
rmt;; -
Reason: Running well managed
!Gt poorly organked bookie joint.
AdrniEistratwn felt be was want
tig books.
AUia Ihterieia, Professor of Anl
rnal Pathology and Animal Path
ologist. Reason: Took wrong path.
durjig Spring day orgies. No
wimer of the race was declared
because the general melee
caused a considerable amount of
Nebrakaa Photo)
exchanged partners and no one
was quite sure who was with
whom, Jack Berumdashort, pres
ident of N Club, said.
and Jr. Division and Coui.ieli. ' t
Service.
Reason: Guiding students to Kan
sas and heading Indian War Coun
cil. James Johnaton, Subsurface Ge
ologist. Conservation end Survey
Division.
Reason. Working with the under
ground, Donald Lenrz, Professor of Wood
wind Instruments, Conductor of
University Bands.
Reason: Blowing his own horn
too loud.
Richard Moses, Lecturer in Phar
maceutical Jurisprudence.
Reason: Administration felt ho
showed lack of prudence.
James Reinhardt, Professor of
Criiminoiogy.
Reason: Caught.
Mrs. Valentine Supninowici, Part
time Instructor in Germanic Lan
guages. Reason: Certain members of the
administration feel that it is not
worth their time to learn to pro- j
nounce her name. Dean Hallgren
warned parents about calling their
children Valentine.
Pink Rag Editors
Lauded For Work
The Pink Rae was eiven the
Third International Rating by the
League for Democratic Youth
Action for its outstanding contri
bution to widening the cleavage in
foreign policy.
The award was announced at the
World's Solidarity Day luncheon
festivities.
Card-carrying editors of the Pink
Rag attended the fete. They were
lauded for their 199 per cent inter
national editoral viewpoint. They
were also recognized for their
whole hearted stand for the third
international.
The lipstick that stays married to your lips . . .
O
; Faculty Advisor to the Pink Rag
E&yr Jbd, Guidance Consultant i is Paul Robeson,
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