9
FT)
It Happened At NU
In Psych class one day, an unwary freshman
was searching under his seat for cigar butts,
after the manner of freshman students.
Suddenly his hand felt a strange feeling object.
His heart raced as he noticed the nifty coed la
the next seat.
Shyly he looked down to confirm his wildest
dream. He was right; it was a fresh cigar butt.
Weather 'r Not
Weathermen predicted that there definately
would be weather Tuesday. Weather is expected
to continue with no appreciable change at least
through 2000 A.D. Temperatures are expected.
J
1
si,
Vol. 29, No. 81
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
Tuesday, Moy 1, 1956
Secrets:
Insolences Try
To Fill Ranks
rship Duties
J
Pit. InjafrdloLHi said L
Of Clfoaimceli
Nrbrakan Photo.)
An Insolent
(Nebraskan Photo.)
An Insolent
Well, kiddies, stuff the cans un
derneath your pillows and hide
the church-keys under your cov-
Bugle Blower:
Junior
Named
Idle Coed
By BE DULL
Jodith Chalupkakoff, junior in
animal husbandry, was named
Idle Nebraska Coed last night by
the Board of Regents.
Upon receiving the honor, a
steam Doat
ticket to the
Union, Miss
C h a 1 u p k a
koff screamed,
"I am just
trilled t a
death, youse
guys.
.truly a
standout on the
the Universi
ty camDus. Jo-
Nebr.k.n Pnoto.) djth jg g.g,, jj
and weighs 86 pounds. She is riot
chairman of her sorority, Alfa
Xi Falfa and also , assists the
housemother by blowing the bugle
from the house balcony when it
is time for the sisters to come in,
" Miss Chalupkakoff is "a member
of the Hangover Club, president
of Upperclass Counselors for Inno
cent Freshmen, secretary of the
Young Women's Corruption Asso
ciation, and a member of Zeta
Upsilon Chi, non scholastic honor
ary. Miss Chalupkakoff works as a
pickle sampler 39 hours per week,
but manages to maintain a 2.33321
scholastic average. "I got a 9 in
a love and marriage course," she
said, "and that raised my aver
age." I haven't passed a poly sci.
course yet, she boasted.
In an exclusive interview with
The Nebraskan, Miss Chalupka
koff said, "Last year I had one
fault; I was conceited. This year
I don't have any faults at all."
"We picked Miss Chalupkakoff
because, in our opinion, she repre
sents a student; she never ques
tions authority," was the state
emnt released by the Board of
Regents.
Miss Chalupkakoff is a graduate
of the Geneva finishing school. She
plans to graduate from the univer
sity "in six or sever, years" and
then "I wanna find a man," she
exclaimed.
She is quite popular in campus
social circles. To date, Miss Cha
lupkakoff is the possessor of 12 fra
ternity pins, 7 engagement rings
and 1 wedding band. "I don't know
where the wedding band came
from," she said. ,
s. A
M
Possible Chancellor
An unidentified man, left, re
ported the new University chan
cellor, is shown shaking hands
with Regent C. Y. Thompson of
North Platte, back to camera.
Thompson refused to reveal the
ers, because Uncle Fess is here to
tell you one of his ever-popular
Tales of the Old West.
This, chillun, is the fantastic tale
of Fess Groundswill and his mar
riage to the ice-cream-cone-c o o 1
Grace Bridey, girl PT boat.
When I was the only son of a
caribou struck-farmer trying to
beat the parity in Sleepfield, Ne
braska, my Daddy took me by
the scruff of the neck and said,
"son, you have one of the most
scruffy necks I've ever seen."
Well, now I realized that some
thing had come between Daddy
and I, and I looked up at him with
my soft, soulful brown eyes (brown
er than the Bourbon still trickling
down my old daddy's chin) and I
said, wistfully, "To hell with you,
old man, I'm going to college so
I can quote Areopagitica and get
me a real life doll that I can call
my own.'.
"Ingrateful son!" he screamed,
turning redder than the eyeballs
of an Innocents candidate the
morning of Ivy Day, "didn't I buy
you everything you wanted'? Didn't
I buy you salamanders and frogs
and lop-eared hounddogs? What
about that nice Gila Monster I
bought you last May to hug and
fondle and call your very own?
What more can a Daddy give his
son? '
"Can't you see? Can't you see?"
I cried, screaming like Marlon
Brando. "It isn't gifts I want! It
isn't wealth I want! Money doesn't
buy happiness! What I want is
something better than rotgut bour
bon for breakfast. I want some
Jack Daniels."
"You'll take your Gila Monster
and be glad you got it," Daddy
said, turning on his heel.
So that is why I left my little
trundle bed to come down to the
big University. Arriving with my
knapsack (the one with the belt
in the back) and my Gila Monster,
I went over to a professor's apart
ment to discuss logical positism.
He advised me to hock my Gila
Monster for a 1929 Whippet with
maroon - and - aquamarine side
walls, so I trudged off to do so.
Nearly run over on the way by
a newsDaDer editor on a dirty-
fiucks-whlte charger, ' ye II i n g,
"please, please B'rer Brickridge,
don't throw me into that there
briar pipe," I suddenly espied the
lovely moviestar and coed, Grace
Bridey.
Tiie rest of my tale is a sad
one, kiddies, a legend of heart
break and pathos. Grace and I
shipped off to the little mining
town of New York City, where, dur
ing the civil ceremony I found out
that the reason cool Grace was so
cool was that she had spent every
night since Diabolique in a cold
bathtub trying to roll her eye
balls upwards.
All of my columns are like this.
Corn Slobs Elect
Nobody President
"Corn Slobs has selected a fine
new group of officers this year"
said Re Cruits, outgoing president,
We are very pleased that we
could still find four men in our
organization," he continued.
"Our sterling, noble hew presi
dent will be John Nobody, who is
only by the merest coincidence my
fraternity brother. The other offi
cers will all be treasurers be
cause we need a lot of men to
count all of our money, he re
vealed.
In spite of heavy snows,
there
Tibet
still exists in mountainous
approximately 800,000
(Nfbraskoo Pboto.)
identity of the man but suid that
he "might be the new chancel
lor." Clifford Hardin, recent
chancellor, said he did not know
the man's name but that he had
"seen him somewhere."
-A.,.., A" T - . ;
" " , . . :
. f. ' J -v " "., "A
, , . -.ft
- - ' ,
- - -
- '" r-
.-at" '. - " "
'i 'A 1 - -
1 ........1:,,.,. -.:J.. ,, j -;tiinii ,1 ,i j - Ill m
Pagan Rights
University coed takes part in
festive, pagan spring rites held
on the University Mall sponsored
by the Spiggot High fraternity.
This coed, in regular classroom
garb as sanctioned by the Dean
of Women, the winner of the
KK Explains:
'Questionable Taste1
Reason For YW Ban
Kosmet Klub has requested the
faculty committee on Student Af
fairs to ban the city campus YW
CA for what was termed "ques
tionable taste."
In a statement issued by Von
Outtes, KK president, it was point
ed out "Each
and every Dart
not question-
9 able, but cer-
4 V ta ijj groups,
i such as the
Love and Mar
riage groups,
are not as sub
tle as t h e v
ilM might be."
Npbrakan Photo.) .Uean 01 MU-
Outtes dent Affairs J.
P. Clobbered refused to comment
on the possibility of the ban, but
said that it was "a rather embar
rassing problem." He added, "The
YWCA was warned this year to
clean up the commission groups in
question."
Outtes emphasized that KK's
main objection was to YWCA pres
ident Bev Shallow who presented
a talk on love and marriage be
fore several of the commission
groups.
He added that although the YW
commission groups were forced
to submit their programs to the
Faculty committee for approval,
Miss Shallow was under no such
obligation. Outtes added, "She ad
libbed throughout the entire talk."
Miss Shallow expressed her re-
Outside Whirled
Stalin
By JOHN FOSTER DULLES
Nebraskan Staff Writer
Former Russian Premier Joseph
Stalin has been reported alive in
Brushfire, Argentina, according to
reports from government officials
in Buenos Aires.
Stalin, now a subject of hate in
the Russian Communist Party, has
rig
till ininffliiililiiaw
reportedly been in Argentina for 1953.
Present For Indians?
A bill before Congress to give
the Oklahoma panhandle and parts
of Texas "back to the Indians"
has been sent back to committee
by the Senate.
Sooners Get Raise
A strike by University of Okla
homa football players has resulted
in a $.32 per hour pay hike for
the Sooner gridders.
Emmanueal Patberelli, of Cut
Bluff, Okla., leader of the strike,
said that the raise in pay demand
Moby Dick Seen
A large white whale reported to yards from the beach, showed his
be Moby Dick has been sighted profile, and sounded,
off Ducktail, Calif., by sponge Persons seeing the whale re
fishermen. The great whole re- ported no sign of Captain Ahab
portedly surfaced less than 200 on or nearby the whale.
Machiavelli To Visit
Niccholo Machiavelli, Italian for- mats in world politics, Machiafelli
eign miiuster, is enroute to the
United States to speak with Presi
dent Eisenhower about Italy's
power position in Europe.
One of the rising young diplo-
Miami Triad Race which in
volves races between three fra
ternities on the campus with
brief stops at each. Miss Mary
Contrary, Sweetheart of Spiggot
High, was the Blue Ribbon winner.
gret at the action. She said, "The
Kosmet Klub is making a terrible
mistake in blaming the YWCA for
something I did."
She added that a few of her ad
lib remarks "were not quite as
clean as they might have been."
She also felt that some of her re
marks were misconstrued.
Outtes emphasized that the ac
tion was not a result of personal
animosity against Miss Shallow.
"Rather, he said, ""KK has' re
ceived many letters from "outside
pressures" protesting against the
brainwashing of YWCA members
in regard to love and marriage."
In regard to questioning Outtes
amitted that the action would
have resulted without the letters.
"Actually," he stated, "several of
our members disguised themselves
as girls and attended the meeting.
Needless to say, the KK members
were horribly shocked and em
harassed by some of Miss Shal
low's comments and the interest
expressed in them by shy and re
tiring coeds."
YWCA executive director Jan
Osborn said that she "could not
understand the controversy." "I
think marriage is here to stay,"
she commented, "it is something
no family should be without."
Dean Clobbered said that no
action would be taken on Kosmet
Klub's request until Regent J. L,
Walrus of Omaha had had time to
study Miss Shallow's statements in
detail.
Alive
the last several months. He is cur
rently employed as night watch
man in a charcoal rendering
plant.
When asked of his future plans,
the former Russian leader and
terrorist replied, "I vant to be
alone." He also laughed off re-
Prts that he had been dead since
Sen. Phineas P. Foggshrouded
(D-Vt), who introduced the bill,
said that the area in question was
useless anyway. "Nothin but dirty
old oil there," Sen. Foggshrouded
said.
came because some of the boys
were dissatisfied with their living
quarters.
"Us home-grown Okies ought to
have at least union scale," Pati
erelli said. "Back in Pennsylvania
things were never like this," he
added.
is said to be working on a book,
which is ahnost ready for publica
tion. "You might call it a sequel to
the famous 'Bobbsey Twins' Be-
ries," he B&id with a sly grin.
fa 'W V.
I I -; i soy
(Nebrankan Photo.) (Nebraskan Photo.)
Hardin A. Student
By CLYDE VATT
Nebraskan Reporter
Clifford M. Hardin, Chancellor of
the University temporarily on an
outstate speaking trip, may be un
able to retain his position as chan
cellor when he returns to the Uni
versity in June.
The decision was made known at
a meeting of administrative offi
cials held shortly before Easter
vacation. E. Y. Thompson, spokes
man for the Board of Regents,
presided at the meeting.
The action, according to several
members of the administrative
staff who attended the meeting,
was described as "irrevocable and
final." The action did not origin
nate from the administrative per
sonnel, the staff officials empha
sized. According to Thompson, "Har
din is still chancellor; no recom
mendations have been made for
a new one." Thompson also said
that he had talked with no one in
dividually concerning the avail
ability of the position and added
that there has been no corres
pondence with Hardin concerning
the matter.
Clarence Swanson, Regent from
Lincoln, said that Hardin would
(Nebraskan Photo.)
Miss D'Arc
$.87
AUF Aids
Hardin
With Fund
A relief fund to aid the Univer
sity's reportedly demoted Chan
cellor, has been instituted by All
University Fraud, according to
Jeanne D'Arc, president.
"AUF has not authority to in
stigate petitions to the Board of
Regents or to take any political
action in the highly controversial
demotion she said.
AUF will, however, donate all
of its five per cent emergency
fund to Hardin to "make the pres
ent situation more durable for
this much -wronged man, Miss
D'Arc said.
The board voted unanimously to
utilize all funds not previously ap
portioned to other charities for
the Hardin Fund, she said.
Student contributions will be ac
cepted in booths in the city and
ag Unions and at collection boxes
in organized houses, Miss D'Arc
stated.
Miss D'Arc said that the AUF
Board was extremely optimistic
that the fund will soon reach its
expected total of $.87.
Miss D'Arc also said that the
board was thinking of contacting
"other local fund raising organiza
tions" to assi4 in the fund raising
campaign.
hi JCM d
return to the University June 14 to
resume his duties as chancellor.
"No recommendations," he told
The Nebraskan in a specially ar
ranged interview," have been
made by the chairman or any
member of the Board of Regents
for any change in the chancellor
ship." John Selleck, University comp
troller and executive secretary of
the Board, said that, to his know
lege, the Regents had not dis
cussed any change in the chancel
lorship since he (Selleck) had as
sumed his present position (last
July 1). He said that he has at
tended all Board of Regents meet
ings since then.
At the Regents' Roundtable last
week, a faculty - Regent discus
sion group, several memoers 01
the Board were quoted as saying
that the Chancellor was still chan
cellor of the University and that
"they had not been informed that
a change was being considered."
Persons in attendance at the
special meeting with Thompson
said that the reason brought out
for Hardin's demotion was the in
fluence of "outside pressures."
These "outside pressures" were
not clearly defined in the meeting.
Regent J. LeRoy Welsh of Oma
ha, questioned on this point in
a telephone interview, said def
initely that "no outside pressures
had been nor would be exerted on
Chancellor Hardin."
"I have always been of the opin
ion that an administrative official
and a University professor should
have the right to pursue their pol
icies without outside interference,"
Welsh continued.
Staff members of the adminis
tration have stated that persor.s
outside the state have been coj.-
Aid To Science:
Liquor Said Quicker,
In All Campus Coke
Liquor by the drink will replace
Coca-Cola and coffee in all University-operated
vending ma
chines, the Administration an
nounced Monday. j
The changeover to liquor will
be made in the vending machines
by the end of the week, Adam
Breckenridge, Dean of Faculties
said.
The reason for the change, ac- j
cording to sources close to the Ad
ministration, was to bring in more
revenue from the machines. In
stead of coffee or coke for a dime
or a nickle, shots of bourbon or
scotch will be available for 25
cents, and Moscow mules for 35
cents.
The low prices are made possi
ble, Breckenridge said, because of
a contract for the liquor from sen
ior students in organic chemistry.
"By acquiring our liquor from
University students," he said, "we
are keeping this enterprise within
the University community. In this
way we can further research in
our science departments, and en
courage students to work out the
production and of modern indus
try."
The selling of liquor by the drink
is a new experience for the Uni
versity, Breckenridge added. "I
think it will help cement student
faculty relations," he said. "In
stead of pot-luck with the profs,
we can have 'Get Potted With the
Profs. "
Louisa May Alcott, Mortar Board
president, said she believed that
liquor by the drink should not be
restricted to a few classroom build
ings, but should be included in res
idence halls as well.
Juniors Hold
Traditional
Jitters Party
A True Story
The annual Junior Jitters Party
will be held Friday evening, ac
cording to informed sources close
to the junior class at the Univer
sity. The party, which will feature dis
cussion groups and surprise visits
from various members of the var
ious senior honoraries, wi be held
at a place not yet officially de
termined. The Junior Jitters Party is a
traditional function at the Univer
sity. Attendance at the party is
restricted to members of the jun
ior class. Ousiders are usually
trampled to death, or thrown into
a gorse hush.
All juniors are urged to attend,
a prominent, but anonymous jun
ior uuormea xne Nebraskan and
may bring any refreshments' they
deem necessary.
In case of rain, flood or locust
plague, the party will not by any
means be moved to the Coliseum.
Last year's party wag Eaid to
have been well-attended.
u
. . . Outside Pressures'
1111 :.'.:.. T
V. .. ' .y... w
rV - A i -L- J V
Regents Move
Shown above are University
Reeents at the recent Reeents'
Kegents at tne recent regents
Round Table. This picture was
taken while the Regents delib-
tacted concerning the position of
University chancellor during the
past year.
At the meeting previously men
tioned, staff members were asked
to suggest persons for the posi
tion of chancellor.
One individual from Michigan
State University recently visited
the campus in regard to the avail
ability of the position, the Nebras
kan's sources have said. Another
professor from Iowa State College
has also been contacted, it has
been reported.
University officials in attend
ance at the meeting said that Har
din would have the opportunity of
returning to the University as a
full professor of agricultural eco
nomics. "We should broaden the scope
of this new, expanded program,"
she said, "to include all facets of
student life."
Frank Hallgren, Dean of Men,
said he thought the new liquor by
the drink facilities would definitely
solve the drinking problem, as
there will now be no problems in
getting a drink.
"I think it's keen," he added.
No immediate student reaction to
:he announcement was noticed, ex
cept for a line of approximately
No Profanity:
'Ann Of Slobovia' Play
Said 'Mot Much Good'
' r ; n ; 'T
I. f'' i -W - '
j iJ&tfir I ? - I I
I " -4 II I
1 Lmtui ibiiiiniiMii uuimiMnnmw"'"'- M'Vimmmv' 1 mtmminmm
(Nebraska Photo.)
Students Flee
Shown above are students
leaving the University Theatre
production "Ann of Slobovia."
f Appearing rather dissatisfied,
(i-c c' - v-nts agreed that the play
would be improved with "lower
i lllLs ana more six in gen
eral." Mature spectators termed
the play "high schoolish" be-
Bv JELLY BULLY AT
., i
The University ineaie. nui-j ,
evening production of "Ann of
Sloboivia' wasn't much good.
One of te problems that im
mediately presented itself to the
audience of students, faculty and
people was the lack of a coordinat
ing theme One identified student
said that this oversight could have
been rectified by 4'lcwer necklines
and more sex in general. I like
those University Theater produc
tions which are sexy."
Throughout the play, there was
little or no profanity which caused
the general comment from many
mature spectators "high school."
Texas Bill, curtain raiser, said
that a lew "hells" and "damns"
would be inserted in places to
bring the play up to the college
level.
Lighting techniques should be
Termed Cause
i
r f 1
. L
(Nebrnkaa PhoU.)
erated the Hardin matter. Sev-
eral Persons wno a"nae- " e
meeting said that Hardin was
deOTOted because of "outsid
pressures."
Hardin has been a center of
controversy since his appointment
as Chancellor in May, 1954. He
has drawn severe criticism from
several groups in the state and a
member of the Board of Regents
for his interest in strengthening
the University athletic program,
campus drinking regulations and
the proposed schedule for building
expansion.
He began his professional career
as an extension marketing special
ist and instructor in agricultural
economics at the University of
Wisconsin in 1951. He joined the
staff of Michigan State College
where he became chairman of
the department of agricultural eco
nomics in 1946.
Installed
Machines
in Love Library.
Most of the students questioned
thought the idea a good one, al
though a few did not think it
would catch on right away. "I un
derstand there are three graduate
students in Bessey Hall that are
unaware of the development,
one senior offered.
The line was patient and orderly,
except for three Kappa Sigs who
thought the Mock Political Con
vention was still on.
cause of its "lack of profanity."
Attempting to make the produc
tion more acceptable to the stu
dent body, those connected with
the Theatre have promised more
profanity in the next perform
ance. Payment for attending the
production can be obtained at
the Theatre box office.
, improved. I say this because sev-
eral persons mentioned to me
fnersonal,v) that thv ,
(personally) that they could not
see the stage. The reason for this,
according to these persons who
spoke to me (personally), was that
it was too dark. I would suggest
to all University Theater people
that they turn on the lights.
I would like to pat a few people
om their backs for the appearance
of some fresh yoang talent in the
production of Mjm of Slobovia."
Jack French, freshman in animal
husbandry, was "stellar" in his
first performance. Josie Margout,
freshman in animal husbandry, was
"stellar" also and might possibly
be headed for 4'raves."
But, all in all the whole produc
tion was "lousy" I didnt like it
very much and for heaven's sfcke
dont you go. It would be a waste
of money and it's about time we
stopped supporting the University
Theater. Movies are better than
ever.
Play
