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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1955)
Wednesday, January 5, 1955
Humor, Magazine Style
Tuesday's Nebraskan carried a small, but
front page story about an organizational meet
ing for what is to be a "new humor" maga
zine for the University campus. From what
seems to be a small beginning great things
may grow; on the other hand, nothing may
grow except another illustrated trash pile.
However, this organization, or more aptly,
re-organization, if properly handled, can offer
this University student body something badly
needed. The Nebraskan and Cornhusker supply
services common to student needs of being in
formed on the day-to-day level and an over
all view of the happenings throughout a year.
With both these publications, humor, a definite
human (even student) need is of secondary im
portance. In short, the student body should have
access to a publication in which humor is the
However, this "necessity of humor" if you
will, presents a problem in itself. Other maga
sines, i.e. "Cornshucks" and "Agwan" did not
present good humor, except in highly isolated
spots during their respective lifetimes. Purely
humorous stories, satires and cartoons took a
back seat position to purely vulgar "articles."
Jokes vied with each other for smuttiness. To
put it bluntly, the past editors of humor maga
zines were generally too lazy or too lacking
in ability to put together anything more than
a collection of vulgar presentations. Not vulgar
in the stuffy sense of the word, but in the
This past type of "humor" was coldly re
ceived, believe it or not, by the student body.
Contrary to popular belief, both publications
died, not by administrative order, but through
that old bug-a-boo of all student publications,
These publications did not have sufficient
financial power to continue their operations
for two definite reasons: 1. Inability of staff
members to sell their publication to the student
body 2. Inability of staff members to sell ad
vertising (the life blood of commercial publi
cations) to campus or city organizations. These
two reasons are not the entire reason for the
"Agwan" demise, but were contributing fac
tors to its being discontinued during WW II.
They are the reasons for the failure of "Corn
shucks." True enough, "Cornshucks" lost considerable
amounts of cash only on some issues. These is
sues were the ones that followed editions so
vulgar as to bring on a "clean up or clear
out" order by the administration. In the main,
students showed very little interest in support
ing such a magazine. Organized houses bought
only a few copies for their entire membership.
Many Independent students considered the maga
zine a Greek publication and ignored it at
. least to the point of not contributing to "Corn
shucks" financial strength.
These facts may only bounce off the die
hard believers that our administration won't
allow students to have a humor magazine. These
same "believers" will point to the recent Colo
rado "Flatiron" incident as an example that
university administrations have but one pur
pose, that of making student life as miserable
as possible for as long as possible. Again, the
facts do not support such a stand. The "Flat
iron" was banned by a student organization,
not the Colorado University administration. That
publication was banned because it did not in
spire student writing, not because it was "dirty,"
or vulgar, or obscene.
The real trouble then, in having what so
many vocal students say the student body wants
is not with gaining administrative permission
to print and publish, but with gaining -and main
taining student support.
Though The Nebraskan may seem ridiculous
for encouraging a project which might well
result in serious competition for student reader
ship, it does offer encouragement and support
to a magazine that will satisfy student de
mand and interest.
However, The Nebraskan will not support an
other "Cornshucks" unless such a publication
contains what it purports to. The student body
will not support a publication existing in the
name of humor, unless the student scene has
changed from what it was to a group that can
read humor into vulgarity, support obscenity
and enjoy trash.
A humor magazine offers endless possibilities
for many students. There are literally hun
dreds of things that go into making up stu
dent, faculty and administrative life that can
be spoofed. Writers could have a field day with
their friends, their instructors, their classes.
Cartoonists, illustrators and pure artists could
find valuable channels of displaying their tal
ents. Students with a talent for handling money
could gain valuable experience in selling ad
vertising or managing the income from it.
In the final analysis, no student organization
can last without the continued support of a
significant portion of the student body. With
out it, these groups find themselves without
function; without it, our humor magazine will
wind up moneyless, obscene and very dead.
Oh Iw Dav. La La
Dear old fraternity, how I love you. Etc., etc. to the rules, on the basis that the rule might
These words or others similar may be ringing discriminate against a certain group, then the
through campus come next Ivy Day and the objection is justified. But as far as The Ne-
Inter-fraternity Sing contests. braskan can see, this is the only case when
According to the new Kosmet Klub rules, , an objection might be taken as more than
only fraternity songs' will be permitted this just the usual gripes and groans,
year as entries for competition. And according xhe fraternities have objected to the lack
to many fraternity members the new rule is of musical literature in the field of fraternity
quite disturbing, so much so that rumor has music. If one were to make a quick survey of
it the objection is so strong that perhaps some fraternity songs, they are mostly old familiar
fraternities or all fraternities will not com- (unes wit, fraternity words submitted for the
P68- original lyrics. Granted there are a few, and
In a letterip to The Nebraskan the main just a few, fraternity songs which were written
objection by one fraternity members was that- specifically for a fraternity, music and words
the rule limits the choral literature to which both. The Sigma Chi Sweetheart song is a
a singing group may refer when choosing, a . good example of this. But of the fraternity and
eong worthy of competition. It was pointed out -. sorority songs which Greeks sing in praise of
that today's composers give very little, if their organization, they are plagarized ver-
any, of their efforts to tunes and lyrics ex- sions 0f 0id hit tunes equipped with appropriate
pounding on the virtues and brotherhood of a words.
Greek organization. Therefore, the objectors t ... , . . . .
. . i i t i The trouble with singing fraternity songs in
claim, the limiting rule is unfair to the frater- - . . . 6 . . , ' , .
j- n. t i i it. vn i tne Ivy Dfly Sing is that probably no fraternity
nities in that it gives them little musical reper- ,, . V . . u. . . .
v j i., .4. . . . a wlU take the time and trouble to simply find
toire of quality and originality with which to ,j . .-, . , .
work ' 6 w an already-arranged musical masterpiece and
, rewrite the words to fit the fraternity theme.
It is simple to do. But would any fraternity
Kosmet Klub on the other hand has specifi- member take the time and interest to do this
cally .stated that the new ruling Is not perma- in view of the new nli or will just g0 a,ong
nent but will apply only to this spring's con- with the meager fraternity repertoire he has
test. The ruling was made as an attempt to on hand and gripe
"try something new" this year and the Klub . . . . . .
felt that in order to make the contest a bit dif- " f08"? K1cub had twantedt? ake
ferent from past competitions a change some- thIvvy Day ,Smg mula mg affair they
where in the Sing rules or procedures was 'u '"m beuonginal
needed. So Kosmet Klub decided that if the ratermty bJ fraternity mem
singing groups would all sing fraternity songs " members. This at Nebraska would tru y
the contest might take on a novel aspect, in b dePart"re rom th crll,ye stagnancy into
other words, get away from the dullness of wh,ch m0st StudentS have fallen'
year after year of the same conglomeration of ic
musical selections. Most students pride themselves as doing their
In addition Kosmet Klub, after pondering best to bring Nebraska up to the standards of
various solutions to the problems of excessive other universities in the Midwest. Some main
expense by fraternities for costumes, decided tain the University is head and shoulders above
to rule that no cotums would be allowed. The the neighboring schools. But as far as creative
Klub provided that no fraternity may build its incentive goes among the general run of rtu
selection around a soloist. And if the Sing is dents they would rather be handed the fin
to be an Inter-fraternity Sing, the appropriate ished product in a silver platter than
songs with which to compete would be frater- work to create their own. This is true of
nity songs. This in itself would eliminate the fraternity songs. Many have been sent to local
need for costumes which in the past have gone fraternities by other chapters in the country,
hand in hand with non-fraternity songs. The Someone else took the time and trouble to
whole Kosmet Klub decision was meant to bet- write out new lyrics to a good sing for old
ter facilitate the fraternities and encourage Zeta Zeta Zeta.
them to spend mora time on the actual music Many universities as large as NU present an
instead of costumes and reliance on soloists. It original production each spring-written, corn
would seem that Kosmet Klub really concerned posed, directed, produced and acted by tu
lUelf with the quality of the singing rather dents. But not NU.
than the quantity of expensive costumes. If the new Kosmet Klub ruling on fraternity
ongs for Ivy Day Sing competition could be
Traditionally, Kosmet Hub has sponsored the accepted as a challenge and not as an at-
Ivy Day Inter-fraternity sing. It has set up the tempt to abuse the fraternities, perhaps a new
qualifications, basis for Judging, secured judges trend in originality could be instituted at the
and done a fine job of organizing. As long as University. The Nebraskan sincerely hopes that
the Klub is sponsoring the contest then it is free Kosmet Klub had this in mind when they
to make the rules and if there are objections passed the rule in the first place. J. H. "
FIFTY-SECOND TEAR ' . Votmnm a October I. lilt, aetborliee
Member; Associated Collegiate Press EDITORIAL STAFF
Intercollegiate Press Kdwor. . .... .. t,m wvar
Erpreseatative: Nsiional Advertising Service, mISkZ!. JJli
Incorporated . Nwi Wdor ' Mtrlanae Uumn
Copy Editor Bruce Sramm, Dtck Fellman,
Ths Htmtm m nibtlofced fcr atarfaerte at" Ik Cat- ' Sua Jeaaea, Marilyn Mitchell
aw t ft at axpreuMne at etaaeatr am ana eaerte Edtfoe Rowar van
aal. Acrer"Mi to Ankle II of tin Br-Unit Feature Mltar Orer Harvey
rm..iw piibiM-Mlom ho admlnlttered r the Ar, Editor Gary BarehfleM
f nBr ' "". h tfca aertred poller al the Mfht Edltor Dlek Feilmaa
food i 4 iwiiuiiHHn a4er rtt tanxiictioa thall be vrnniTCRS
- from ari'.orul ttniemev the pert of the Board. W,rUKir.9
e? toe 01 at - ateoitMt of Ike fscaltr e the Beeon? Deepe, Fred Daly, Joanna fntt, Babe Jetrer-
l -, bnt the PKXn of the tuff of lit Nebratfcaa h". Borer tfrnkle, Udfnee Swifter, Julie Marr, Harb
are prpiiir rvwtmm for what the? tat or da or Sharp, J pre UeVIIMaa, Barbara Sullivan. Eleanor Plfer,
Ca to he oriiiud." lrr Voltke, Conine Ekitmm, Fraa Belttorff, Judr
H-h- relet irt II I temerter, S2.50 Balled at ?"'. " Warloekl, Ulllan Hateoolldr. Annetla Nlcae,
1 , ru!r, i nailed, bioefe eopf &. Pah- Connwi Hnrtt, Rath Roeenanlet. Pat Biw Marten
I i i . --i a week dnrma the erbnol rear eteept Santta, Jena John ton, Kar Law ton.
- a 1 r -rp!nattoe pertoflt. Uae lieoe a) pnhluhed nftcrvfco CTAOTP
. , .,.,.( t. ue UaHemuy at Nebraska ander the v euaimtsa OlATf
...,. iua of the t'ommKiee e Student PeHiirntloni. BntlneJt Manarer Chet Pinter
1 ..-.'J ar eerond natter at the Ptwt imice la Ait'l Ketlaeai Maaaatra. ..... Bra Belmont, Barbara Eicke,
J ..i..n. Krhrm, aBsei ma ot Conema, plarefe . ". Uoorf Madtea Andy Hove
b.d U wpf.iai it at pottan pniTMed tot la Section ClreHatloa Manacet eU MlUei
linn man on campus
by Dick Bible
University Won't Supply
Seer For Bust In Spring
By JESS BOWNELL
The other day I picked up a re
cent edition of a large national
magazine, thereby leaving , myself
open to one of the most harrowing
experiences of my life, an experi
ence from which I may not recov
er. I shall not disclose the name
of this magazine, but spelled back
ward it is the name of an equally
popular cigarette, whose manu
facturers are continually urging
people to break the hot cigarette
As I leafed through the maga
zine, I discovered that it was filled
with predictions for 1955. I was
momentarily horrified, but some
thing compelled me to begin read
ing. I had read nearly half the
predictions when my hand began
to swim and spots appeared be
fore my tired eyes. When I re
covered consciousness, I was in my
bed, mumbling such meaningless
sentences as, "The Yankees and
the Braves will live in peaceful co
existence," and "Joe McCarthy
will be the most dynamic screen
personality since Brando."
I am better now, and my doctor
tells me that if I read no more
predictions, I have a good chance
to recover. I fear that I shall not
be strong enough to stay away
from that magazine. But before I
go, I must fulfill a last desire. I
must make some predictions of my
own. There won't be many, for my
strength is slipping fast away.
Look out, here they come!-
The University will not provide
free beer for a week-long party in
the spring, even at the risk of hav
ing pent-up emotions explode into
. The University of Nebraska foot
ball team will not play at Colo
rado, but a few hardy individuals
will go there anyway.
Manufacturers of beer mugs will
continue to make handles that are
either too big or too little for the
average hand to fit comfortably.
Students will not flock to Love
Library on Sunday afternoons, even
if it is open.
Several thousand students will
attempt to schedule more than
three-fifths of their class hours on
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
mornings, and some will succeed.
I wish I could go on, but I feel
that magazine calling me, and I'm
too weak to resist. It may cost me
my life, but if it doesn't, I'll know
CBS TV Crew Visits
Colorado Mines School
By JANCY CARMAN
A six-man production crew from
CBS Television headquarters in
New York City recently visited
the Colorado School of Mines,
shooting scenes on uranium re
search at the college. Films will
be part of "The Search," CBS
Television's major documentary
effort for 1954-55. .
A group of mathematicians have
finished a new test that may start
a radical revision of freshman
mathematics courses in the na
tion's colleges and universities. Dr.
G. Baley Price, chairman of the
mathematics department at the
University of Kansas and one of
the authors, denies that "Univer
sal Mathematics" is radically
Freshman mathematics courses
at most schools consist of algebra,
trigonometry and analytic geom
etry. The new text, designed for
two semesters of three credit
hours each, reduces the emphasis
on trigonometry and analytics.
Added are an introduction to cal
culus, traditionally untouched un
til the sophomore year, and many
other new topics.
Something new has been added
to the Riverside campus of the
University of California students.
For nearly a half century, the
home of the world-famed Citrus
Experiment Station, the southern
campus has rarely had more than
one or two students (and those
graduates) at a time.
Now, 126 undergraduates are
hurrying along newly-paved walks
connecting five modern buildings
. . . and hurry they must. They
are the charter student body of the
first completely new four-year col
lege in the history of the Univer
sity of California (even the
Berkeley campus was started with
students and faculty from the pri
vate Contra Costa academy.)
In addition to meeting the stiff
requirements of a curriculum de
signed to educate as well as
graduate, these busy pioneers
have the responsibilities of select
ing a school mascot, starting a
student newspaper, organizing an
Associated Student Body, writing
school songs and, above all, es
To place a classified ad
Stop in the Business Office Room 20
Call 2-7631 Ext. 4226 for Q.isU
Hours 1-4:30 Afofl. thru Fri.
THRIFTY AD RATES
1 day 2 days3 days 4 days
I $"".40 $ .65 .85 $T.OO
.50J .80 1.05 1.25
.95 1.25 I 1.50
Odd Sizes, Shapes
Bring Clerks Grief
By MARILYN TYSON
t r,nv friend who has been
terribly busy since she got back
to school. Studying, you asK.' un,
no. She's just exchanging Christ
Sn far. she has traded a black
cashmere, size 38, for a brown
sweater, size 40 and a green
sweater, size 40, for a pink one,
size 38. Don't ask me why. She
says she just likes to buy her own
Snm npoole eo aoe on exchang
ing irift.s. Thev drive the poor de
partment store clerks nuts trying
to decide whether to keep the
ipwelpd ice ba they received from
Aunt Fifi or exchange it for a
jeweled fly swatter.
In a downtown department store
yesterday, one rather rotund lady
was insisting to a harrassed clerk
that the size 16 skirt she had re
ceived from her husband was ab
solutely too large and the size 12
would be much better. "I've never
been so insulted," she said to the
saleslady. "To think that John
believes I take a size 16!" The
fact that the skirt in size 12 formed
horizontal pleats which weren't
part of the design ot tne stun
failed to convince her that John
wasn't so dumb after all.
I talked t- a lingerie clerk who
was fuming about the opposite
type of male from our fat friend s
husband. ' She said she couldn't
understand why husbands come
into the store and buy a size 12
for their size 40 wives.
"We have more wives sneak
back in here with their Christmas
eifts of nishteowns and sav 'Can't
you find . me one just like this in
two sizes larger? George will
never know the difference.' "
The clerks also comDlain about
the sweet young things who want
to return scarves and jewelry and
won't bring the saleslips in be
cause they are afraid of hurting
their boyfriends' feelings.
Salesladies have hundreds of
other pet peeves too. One Is the
coed who didn't exchange her
mother's Christmas present until
May. "I just had too many things
to do," was the lame explanation.
Of course, there really are some
legitimate exchanges. For ex
ample, the distinguished looking
business man who came into the
mens' department with one of
those rather fluoresent orange
shirts. He asked the clerk if ha
couldn't get it in a quieter color.
Most of the gift exchanging
racket could be avoided if people
would just think to ask a person's
size before ihey buy them a gift
or if they weren't so choosy about
the things they receive.
Next year before you buy your
Christmas gifts, think of the tired
salesclerks who may have to ex
change the purple and orange shirt
you buy for your favorite beau
or the pink cashmere you fellas
give your girl when she already
has three pink sweaters.
We all should make a New
Year's resolution when buying our
presents next year to take into
consideration the person's per
sonality and his tastes. When you
walk up to a counter next year,
forget the people pushing you and
stepping on your toes, take a deep
breath, look at the orange shirts
and say, "I'll take a gray one,
Stationery And Notes
215 North 14th
(AutKor of "Bartfoot Bo With Ckek," to.)
For Rent: 1909 F. 1 sleeping room.
Twin bed. Shower. Ample parking
'' 1-2 gentlemen. 3-4040 or 7-K165.
CLOTHES MAKE THE BMOC
A few weeks ago I discussed fashions for coeds. I pointed out then
that any girl who really wanted to go places on campus had to be
bold and ingenious when it came to clothes. This is no less trua
for the male student.
Believe me, men, youH never get anywhere if you keep skulking
around in those old plus-fours. What you need is some dash, soma
verve, some inventiveness in your apparel. Don't be imprisoned by
the traditional conservatism of men's clothing. Brighten up your
appearance with a single earring, or a cavalry sabre, or a gold derby.
However, guard against gaudiness. If, for instance, you are wear
ing a gold derby, do not also wear a cavalry sabre. This is too much.
Wear a dagger instead, or,' for informal occasions, a Bowie knife.
(Speaking of Bowie knives, I wonder how many of you know
what a great debt this country indeed, the whole world owes
to the West Point class of 1836? You all know, of course, that Colonel
James Bowie of the Class of 1836 invented the Bowie knife, but do
you know of the many other important contributions to cutlery
that were made by classmates of Colonel Bowie's? Are you aware,
for example, that Colonel Harry Clasp invented the Clasp knife?
Or that Colonel Harry Jack invented the Jack knife? Or that Colonel
Harry Putty invented the Putty knife? Or that Colonel Harry
Cannon invented the towel?
By a curious coincidence, every member of the graduating class
at the U. S. Military Academy in 1836 was named Harry, save for
Colonel James Bowie. This coincidence is believed unique in the
history of American education, though, of course, quite common
But i digress. We were talking about men's campus fashions. Let
us turn now to a persistent rumor that a garment called the "suit'
is on the verge of making a comeback. Some of you older students
may remember the "suit." It was an ensemble consisting of a jacket
and trousers, both of which this'U kill you both of which were
made out of the same material!
The last "suit" ever seen on an American campus was in 1941
and I ought to know, because I was wearing it. Ah, 19411 Well do I
remember that melancholy year. I was an undergraduate then and
in love hopelessly in love, caught in the riptide of a reckless romance
with a beauteous statistics major named Harry Sigafoos. (She is one
of the two girls I have ever known named Harry. The other one
is her sister.)
I loved Harry though she was far too expensive a girl for me.
She like d to eat at fancy restaurants and dance at costly ballrooms
and ride in high priced cars. But worst of all, she was mad for
wishing wells. It was not unusual for her to drop coins into a
wishing well for two or three hours on end. My coins.
Bit by bit I sold off my belongings to pursue this insane courtship
first my books, then my clothes, until finally I was left with nothing
to wear but a "suit." One night I came calling for her in this garment.
"What is that?" she gasped, her lip curling in horror.
"That is a 'suit' " I mumbled, averting my eyes.
"Well, I can't be seen around campus with you in that," said she.
"Please, Harry," I begged. "It's all I've got."
"I'm sorry," she said firmly and slammed the door.
I slunk home and lit a Philip Morris and sat down to think. I always 1
light a Philip Morris when I sit down to think, for their mild
vintage tobacco is a great aid to cerebration. I always light
Philip Morrises when I don't sit down to think too, because
Philip Morris is my favorite cigarette, and I know it will be yours
too once you try that crazy vintage tobacco.
Well sir, smoking and thinking thus, my eye happened to fall on
an ad in the campus newspaper. "WIN A COMPLETE WARD-,
ROBE" said the ad. "Touhy's Toggery, the campus's leading men's
store, announces a contest to pick the best dressed man on campus.
The winner of the contest will receive, absolutely free, a blue hound's
tooth jacket, a yellow button-down shirt, a black knit tie, a tattersali
vest, gray flannel trousers, argyle socks, and white buck shoes with
two inch crepe soles."
My mouth watered at the thought of such a splendid wardrobe, .
but how could anybody possibly pick me as the best dressed man on
campus -me in my "suit"? Suddenly an inspiration struck me. I
seized pen in hand and wrot a letter to the editor of the campus
"Dear Sir, I see by the paper that Touhy's Toggery is going to
give a complete wardrobe to the student picked as the best dressed
man on campus. What a ridiculous idea!
"Obviously, to be the best dressed man on campus, you must first
have a lot of clothes. And if you have a lot of clothes, what do you
need with another wardrobe?
"Touhy's Toggery should give a new wardrobe to the worst dressed
man on campus. Me, for instance. I am an eyesore. There isn't a crow
in town that will come near me. Three times this month the Salvation
Army salvage truck has picked me up. Esquire has cancelled my
"I submit that a vote for me is a vote for reason, a vote for equity,
in short, a vote for the American way."
With a flourish, I signed the letter and sent it off, somehow feelin
certain that very soon I would be wearing a complete new wardrobe.
And I was right - because two weeks later I was drafted.
f CMn BhulOMB, MS
This column x brought to you hy the makers of PHILIP MORRIS
who think you would enjoy their cigarette.
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