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Thursday, April 1
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Kushner To Advise Campus Unit
Becauseoftheshortageofmenipo.se of aiding,,f,in picking
on the University campus, the out me proi. course,
dwindling ROTC program has OLD IRONSIDES," as she is
been enlarged to include a Worn- affectionately ciuea by coeds,
en's Reserve Officer Training stated in a r?"" Rag inter-r-.-o
Th nnu-iv.inauiwatfiH view. "This WKUIC proeram tc
WROTC program will incude in- just another phase in the life of
struction in underwater basket a normal umversitj coed."
weaving of jet planes, manipula-i "These girls wui gam knowledge
tion and regulation of upper-stra- that will De ustiui to them the
tosphere traffic signals and the i rest of their lives, she declared,
latest chess techniques. j After a three-day hassle, Mar-
General Ironalouise Winfield ! shall Kushner was named advisor
McArthur. federal supervisor of I to the WKOTC unit Kushner was
the WROTC program, has set up chosen on a three-point basis of
a booth in the Union for the pur- charm, persona" v ana appear-
.am
v i
- Atf Kv
WROTC Registration
Perplexed University coeds
begin registration for the new
Women's Reserve Officer
Training Corps program which
has recently been added to the
present program for men. The
men, old hands at this sort of
thing, help the women out
with a few tips.
Class Council To Take
Over SC Duties In '54
Yapp Says Class Spirit Not 'Classy'
Student Council will be replaced j lition team to clear away the
by the Class Council next year, j Teachers college building in or
Rockford Glenn Yapp, former j der to provide more parking.
Junior Class president, announced j Yapp said, "I am very happy
in an exclusive Pink Rag inter- j with the way things are working
out on our campus. We are set
ting an example which other in
stitutions of higher learning
would do well to follow."
view.
Recent controversy over the
merits of the Student Council
prompted the Class Council to
abolish the organization which
had attempted to promote class
spirit and enable more Univer
sity students to hold office. Yapp
said, "Class spirit is jim-dandy,
-frtrt-fr ias -class spirit that
was being promoted could be
classified as anything but classy."
ance. His duties will including
aiding coeds in all matters of
WROTC regulations and protocol
and sponsoring the annual
WROTC Marbles Tournament.
The Air Force division of the
WROTC will be quartered at the
Lincoln Air Base. Dormitories
constructed by the Lincoln Cham
ber of Commerce and the Junior
Women's Club are nearing com
pletion. The new dormitories will
contain all the modern conveni
ences, including swimming pools,
billard tables, indoor orchid gard
ens, a sixty-acre ballroom and
plumbing.
COEDS PARTICIPATING in the
Naval WROTC program will take
part in five-to ten-year cruises on
the Carribean, the "Mediterranean
and the Platte River. While on
cruise, the coeds will keep in
trim by daily swims in the shark
infested waters. "This will keep
tnings lively for them," Miss Mc
Arthur declared.
Members of the Army WROTC
unit will be required to take daily
hikes to Robber's Cave. A. Ten
Shun, spokesman for the Army
WROTC program, stated, "If all
goes well, we might even get as
far as The Delt Woods."
Daily drills for all WROTC
members will be held in the court
of the Women's Residence Halls.
Coeds classified as 4-F are pro
testing this plan because it inter
feres with sunbathing. "How can
we sunbathe with all those muscle-bound
women soldiers
trampling over us?" an indig
nant coed exclaimed.
ALL DIVISIONS of WROTC will
hold weekly parades in the Sigma
Fhi Epsilon parking lot. Ralph
Flanagan's marching band will
play for the parades.
A series of snappy new coed
uniforms have been designed by
Rocky app. well-known fashion
major at the University. Yapp
describes his creations as "sheer
loveliness and practical too." De
signs include complete wardrobes
for WROTC coeds, featuring silk
chiffon full-dress uniforms and
Khaki-colored denim formals with
matching berets. "The berets add
a subtle touch of that continental
atmosphere." Yapp declared.
The majority of University
coeds were reported to be highly
excited about the new WROTC
program. Sorority houses have
been thrown into a state of con
fusion since the news was an
nounced. "I think it's hilarious."
one coed screamed when inter
viewed by the Pink Rag.
Lazy Fellow
Pink Haze Settles Over Campus Culture;
Students Of 1954 Happy, Cooperative
This University student seems
to have contracted the same
habit that plagues some 7,000
of his cohorts. Not only did
he sleep through class and the
bell, but this dashing young
chap had the gall to snooze
while the soothing strains of
the Carrillon Tower fluttered
in the April winds.
Hallgren forecasts End
Of Campus Fraternities
University To Require Freshman,
Sophomore Men To Live In Dorms
The end of fraternity houses
was predicted today by Frank
Hallgren, assistant dean of stu
dent affairs.
Hallgren announced that a poll
of Nebraska high schools indi
cated that freshman enrollment
at the University will be con
siderably smaller next fall.
About 40 new students are ex
pected. Because of the decrease in
enrollment, all freshman men
will be required to live in the
new men's dorms. In addition,
all 1953 freshmen will be le
quired to live in the residence
halls.
"THE ANNOUNCEMENT has
created a great deal of excite
ment among fraternity house of
ficers," Hallgren observed, "be
cause men will not be living in
their houses next year. There
fore, many of the houses will
be forced to go off campus.'"
"The fact that we will have
no pledge class and no sopho
more actives will mean the end
of Sigma Phi Nothing on this
campus," Hugo Igo, SPN house
president, said.
Th
re Sfy
den
STUDENT COUNCIL had de
sired to sell pencils with the
University of Nebraska in cap
ital letters portrayed boldly on
the wood in bright pink. This was
uA - -1 ; j
clae ! STKaS?
sold these pencils with University j hTc'uL r?2? .! f,,
oS 'clLt ! l Snd -faculty
and faculty members all j R Rainforth Keith Kux.
toow?" 35 eVeryneihausen and B;ll Pyle-all Uni-
. j versity students were crossing
Cjass officers, m a quandry the campus at approximately 4:30
heid in the Union basement, con- a.m. for their early morning Or
vmced the Student Council mem- nithologv 109. According to Rain
be" of the "utter lack of pur-, forthi ageo!ogv major, the three
pose of their organization. "Die-1 "noticed a bright luminous ob
tatonal rule ' and "unenlightened ; ject cigar-shaped, flying at a low
despotism were terms used to J altitude from the east The trio
describe the recent rule of the i stopped behind Morrill Hall and
Student Council, An unidentified j watched the object as it came
class officer who wasn't recog- nearer, all the while shedding its
iJiCu ua.dusc oi a idige uuridp i QU!et chosDhoresrent elow.
f s TrrSf id!f
Fiyiog
Carillon Tower, Coliseum, Stadium Foundations Shake
An eery light streaked across
bag over the facial features, said
"It is too bad that the Student
Council can't get along with the
faculty, administration or stu
dents. If they could get along
better with these groups, they
would be better liked and prob
ably would not have to be abol
ished." THE ABOLITION of the Stu
dent Council was the first of
many moves to rid the campus of
organizations that are "merely
activities," Yapp said. "We hope
to dispose of the Nebraskan and
Pyle. ace R0TC student, im
mediately ascertained that the
object was flying at a terrific
speed, probably exceeding 2,000
miles an hour." Strangely
enough, Kuxhausen added "as
the object neared the University
campus, it took a terrific swoop,
almost a 90 degree angle, and
coasted down over the Union
and then proceeded in an orbit to
the Coliseum."
As the group watched fascin
ated, the supersonic waves hit
their eardrums and they detected
the shrill, vibrating sound which
felt "as if someone was playing
taps on their spines." Pyle added
that the terrific speed of the
plane "lit up the atmosphere
like a circus arena for more than
five minutes."
Watching closely the group said
that the object went through a
variety of acrobatics, various
swoops, a corkscrew spin, right
angle turns and other unusual
maneuvers that could scarcely
have been performed by earth
born aviators. Finally with one
last swooop that almost "clipped
J. Edgar Hoover, Scientists
To Investigate Saucer Scare
the apex of the Carillon Tower"
the object did an about face and
as Pyle bluntly put it, "A dress
right dress" and shot off into the
distance.
As the object disappeared into
the distance, a gaseous smoke
hovered over the scene and a
"slight odor almost like that of
wilted petunias and tobasco
sauce remained." The trio stood,
rooted to the spot, and for a
mement no one spoke. Rainforth
had read many stories about the
flying saucer and the various
government investigations that
even then were underway. He
knew that the three had wit
nessed something of the most
unusual importance and mystery.
No more details have been un
covered. Further information will i
"We hoped this step would
not be necessary for we thought
fraternities would voluntarily
fold up when we started to build
the new dorms, but they per
sisted in existing, so this was
the only alternative," Hallgren
said.
HE EXPLAINED that the re
quired residence in the dorms
will leave the fraternity houses
with only junior and senior
members. "Since most students
see the light and depledge their
fraternities before they become
activated, most houses will not
have enough members to con
tinue operation," the dean said.
Many of the houses have
already taken action to combat
the situation. Some Greek
houses have urged their mem
bers to transfer to other schools
where fraternities are subsidized
so that they can remain sol
vent. HUGO IGO, president of
Sigma Phi Nothing, announced
that his organization has sold
its property to the Rocky Moun
tain Conference of midget bowl
ers. The house will presumably
be converted into a midget bowl
ing alley. As part of the con
ference's expansion plan, the of
ficials announced that Univer
sity students may join the Mid
get Bowlers if they can pass
the maximum height require
ment 24 inches.
The new rule has had far
reaching effects throughout Lin
coln. The police chief said, ''We
can easily dismiss one-half of
more of our patrolmen and sell
about a dozen prowl cars now
that fraternities will no longer
be in Lincoln."
A PROMINENT official of
the Salvation Army pointed out
that his organization will now
have room for destitute persons
to sleep at night. "Our facili
ties have always been filled by
fraternity men who want to
sleep at our mission so they will
not have to go back to their
houses," he said.
The Lincoln fire department
expects to sell six of its fire
trucks as soon as the Greeks
close down, the fire chief made
known today. "About eighty
per cent ot our false alarms
It's a blue world in the Red
World of 1954. Ever since the
Communists took over, the old
camphi just ain't what it used
to be!
Some of the old traditions
have been slightly revolution
ized. Classroom procedure has
been altered somewhat. Students
are referred to as "Comade Stu
dent" instead of Mr. or Miss. The
instructor is Big Brother. Ac
tually, you see, the University is
just one big happy family.
THE ANCIENT social fortress,
the Greek fraternity, vanished
long ago, replaced by the
smoothly coordinated Soviet Sys
tem. Rush-ian Week is no longer
a hectic jumble of hot-boxing,
free cigars and endless hand
shakes the freshman of 1954 is
simply met at the door by an
active with a gun in one hand
and a pledge pin in the other.
No muss, no fuss. And Hell
Week, now called Hail Week, has
been changed into a joyous week
of alum-sponsored rallies, games
and target practices.
Just the other day some ROTC
boys in their polka-dot socks
were seen out in the faculty
parking lot digging mushrooms
for Monday night dessert. Mush
rooms are considered a special
delicacy, and are added to the
student diet of Red wine and
borscht on special occasions.
Beer apd pizza were outlawed
twenty years ago as too indigest
ible for sensitive student stom
achs. CAMPUS SOCIAL life is one
mad whirl. There is one party
the People's Party which holds
meetings every Friday and Sat
urday night. Attendance is not
compulsory, unless you intend to
continue breathing a few more
days. Also, Friday afternoon
vodka clubs relieve the monot
ony of industrialized classes eight
days a week.
The main sport, Russian rou
lette, is played by eager students
every spare moment. This pre
vents the University from be
coming inconvient ly over
crowded.
The student newspaper, The
Pink Rag, has acquired its third
new editor in the last year. The
former editor, Pollyanna Fall,
was accused of keeping red,
white and blue copy pencils in
her desk drawer. Forced into
semi-retirement, she was last
seen gathering seaweed to dec
orate her pink ping-pong taoie,
She just loves pink but, unfor
tunately, she doesn't like red as
well.
I. Scoop-Em All, the new edi
tor, has inaugurated a new pol
icy. All future issues of the paper
will campaign for a reform of
the ridiculous coed closing nours
Nine p.m. is just too late.
EVERY YEAR several coeds
are honored as ideal University
women. In the fall, an Honorary
Comrade is chosen by an impar
tial police board. The Sweet'
heart of MVD, Typical Nebraska
Communist, and the Pink Rag's
own Miss Sickle and Hammer
are among the beauty titlists. So
that the males won't feel ne
glected, Prince Kremlin and Ug
liest Bolshevik Outside Siberia
are named by coeds during the
year. The prize for the honor
ary titles is three days locked
inside a closet in the women's
dorm with the keyhole covered,
naturally.
Through the tireless efforts of
the Student Komnosol, an inde
pendent governing body composed
of outstanding student party
members, a new helicopter drop
in was constructed on top of So
cialized Science Building. Park
ing stickers, required for per
mission to park, are easily ob
tained by shooting five Repub
licans, three Democrats, one
Whig and a popcorn manufac
turer. ALL PARKING violations are
promptly taken care of by a spe
cial University board. The offen
der, after one and one-half vio
lations, is pronounced an "en
emy of the people" and sentenced
Bart Banana And Bunch
To Play For HC Dance
Ticket Sales To Open Saturday
Bart Banana and his Bunch, sale Saturday. "We don't want
be available when the students j come from fraternity men who
story can be checked aand veri- j like to hear the sirens," the
fied. I chief explained.
current hit parade favorites, will
play for the 1958 Homecoming
Dance.
"Because of the popularity of
this crew of mangy musicians,
we thought we had better hire
them early," Ernie Bebb, chair
man of the Union dance commit
tee, said. He reported that Ba
nana replied by telegram, collect
that he "woud be tickled to death.
to play at such a fine school which
had such fine students and such
a fine reputation."
Banana has contracted to play
a one-hour concert, with two half
hour intermissions. He does not
usually agree to such strenuous
hours because of the extreme fa
tigue of playing a piccolo, but he
gave the University special con
sideration.
BANANA AND his Bunch rose
to the top of the musical ladder
with amazing rapidity. Their slip
pery style has become the rage
of American youth, eclipsing
sales of Glen Miller records by
45 per cent.
Banana and his piccolo are cur
rently featured in a new movie,
"From There To Mortality." The
show depicts the struggles of a
young musician to keep his feet
warm.
Tickets for the dance, to be
held in Love Library, will go on I
re-the
to rush anybody," Bebb
marked, "but we figured
early worm gets the bird."
Price will be 10 cents a couple.
Tax will be added later, after the
Congressional elections.
Mamie To See
Winning KK,
Follies Skits
President , Eisenhower has
written to Acting Chancellor
John K. Selleck asking that the
winners of the Kosmet Klub and
Coed Follies shows appear be
fore Mamie's bridge club, which
will meet April 10.
The bridge club, which con
sists of ex-Queen Narriman of
Egypt, Queen Elizabeth and
Madame Chiang Kai-Shek,
heard of the outstanding shows
that the University produces,
and asked Mr. Eisenhower to
contact Selleck about the per
formance. Selleck replied that Phi
Gamma Delta and Chi Omega
will be most happy to cooperate,
and will leave immediately for
Washington, D.C.
to five years' exercise in
Ashland Sand Pits.
The two senior honorarie
campus, the Guilties and the
ment Blocks, announced rece
that this year there will be
Ivy Day sing. This tradit
which began in the dark .
when the University was voi
has been cancelled because
year a competing groun ,
"Red River Valley" witPh s
proper reverence. The pian
of the ivy, too, will be forgo
because of the skyrocketing D
of ivy. Cottages are all the i
this year.
Dirty Ivan's culinary estab'
ment, which replaced the lege
ary Dirty Earl's of the naui
1940's, is a favorite student h?
in. Specialty of the house
purged eggs on Russian rye
all hours the juke box W
forth the hit tunes of the mo
which are "The Red We Wan
The Red We've Got," "
Vodka" and "Stranger In
beria."
In this happy co-operative
mosphere of jolly comrades
670 students study diligen
994 per cent of the studi
consider studying the most
portant part of University
according to a recent police
port. Of course that was be:
the disappearance of Diane Y.
man, Rocky Yapp, Ken Rvstr
Jan Steffen, Walt Wright, 1
wooawara, iancy Draper
RABBIT ABBOTT, ty':
Desch, Doran Jacobs, Lucigr
Switzer, Stan Sipple, Bob Kr
pie, Jancy Carman. Martie I
Dale Reynolds, Cathy Olds, B
Sisson, Murt Pickett, Br
Brugmann, Skip Hove, Br
Martin, Dotty Orchard, Pat F
ley, Shirley Murphy Maley, M
Sue Lundt, Barb Flanag
Chuck Beam, Marion Ekstri
Don Lees.
Jim Hofstetter, Dick Cofl
Marv Friedman. Joy Cunni
ham, Jackie Ullstrom, Pa
Sharman, Phil Shade. Bill Cai
bell, John Gourlay, Ann Kok;
Ingrid Swerre, Mike Shuzr
Dwight Jundt, Jack Rogers,
bara Leigh, Chuck Anderson.
Johnson, Sam Umbyfumby, D
ble Ugly and Dave Enckson.
RESTRING
WITH
STANDS OUT
in play
Harder Smashes
Better Cut and Spin
STANDS UP
in your racket
Moisture Immune
Lasting liveliness
COSTS LESS
than gut
APPROX. STimOlfM COST:
Pro-Fctd roid... $6 00
Multi-Ply Ifold..-. $5.00
At ttnnit shops and
sporting goods stores.
In a whirlwind of last-minute
disclosures it has been an
nounced by officials at Student
HoaHh V- D,w DUA-h 'Rill
tfte Union next, as they serve no pj.!e d Kejth Kuxhausen have
purpose other than to give stu- k' admitted to the infirmary
ZT t f aY fro.mleir Und that University Ex-Chancel-
L"SyS7 filor John Selleck will meet J.
groups slated for removal in-FHoar frt
a government scientist from
clude Red Cross, AUF and other
mber" Oakridge Tenness; Jota Henry
ltPJJS bX a diScrwun- Swanson.' at the' municipal air-
Other actions
by the Class
Council included a proposal to
send a spy to all Faculty Sen
ate meetings for the purpose of
subverting the group before they
start investigating "us" and ap
proval of a bid by a local demo-
Cornhusker
Embezzler
Discovered
Golfers Trick
'Mixed-Up Kid'
J. Benedict, Cornhusker busi
ness manager, was arrested in
Las Vegas, Nev., for embezzling
Cornhusker funds.
Upon his arrest, Benedict made
a full confession.
It seems that he had been
taken in by a group of unscrupu
lous golf fanatics who tricked
him into participating in a num
ber cf secretly held golf "con
tests." Th governor of Nevada
pleaded clemency saying. "He is
Just crazy mbted-up kid." How
ever, Governor Crosby said that
Benedict will be extradited back
to Nebraska.
port late this afternoon.
These releases have practically
paralyzed campus activity, and
the entire student body and
faculty is in an uproar concern
ing this morning's flying saucer
report. A two-block area has
been blocked off around the Ca
rillon Tower. Fifty-five people
have been admitted to the in
firmary, according to Samuel
Fuenning, Director of Student
Health.
KUXHAUSEN, PYLE, and
Rainforth, the threesome who
first observed the saucer, were
reported to be resting comfort
ably" after a harrowing three
hours in the resdscitator. All
three collapsed shortly after
breakfast this morning, doctors
think mostly from shock, light
paralysis, and a tendency of a
shoulder ossification. Scores of
other patienU were admitted
early this morning. It is thought
by University specialists that the
group is suffering ill effects from
mysterious gaj released by the
weird craft.
Doctors Benjamin Burma and
William Gilliland, associate pro
fessors in geology, have reported
to the Pink Rag that they have
found evidence miles west
of Lincoln of traces of the air
craft, and they seem to think
"that the plan ' might havt
landed somewhere in the
vicinity. J
Shortly after this call
Ex-Chancellor Selleck received a j
telegram from the FBI saying j
that Edgar Hoover and a top
scientist and atomic physicist
would be arriving at 4 p.m. this
afternoon by plane. Hoover
asked that the state militia be
called out to quell any riots or
hysterical mobs that might arise
from his announcement.
Burma, Gilliland, and Robert
L. Chasson, assistant professor of
physics, were immediately noti
fied by University authorities
and officials at the Lincoln Air
Base to investigate the saucer
scare. Capt. McCartney and Sgt.
Hughbretzie of the University
ROTC department accompanied
the scientists.
Even now, as Hoover flies
toward Lincoln, all bases have
been alerted. As the presses
grind out this story and bring
this spectacular news to its
readers, fear rides high, tension
stalks on little cat feet about the
city, and the eyes and ears of
the state and nation are focused
on a small, rather inconspicuous
community of 100,000 in
Nebraska.
RISE STEVENS says: "Not 'til high school was my
voice 'discovered'. (I unwittingly sang an octave low
in class.) From that day, singing was my love
at weddings, parties, on the radio. I studied all over
Europe before the Met and the movies accepted me.
Classified
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