IE- - V Page 2 THE NEBRASKAN Thursday, April ), 1954 EDITORIAL PAGE Mo Culture Here! Something must be done! A serious situation at the University has become worse. Coffee houses were forced to close again last week when a convocation was given. For the second time in as many months, the Coliseum was packed with stu dents. Faculty members were turned away at the door. Something must be done! The Nebraskan is deeply shocked and hurt to learn that every student at the Uni versity turned out to hear Dr. L. W. Cmby fumbee, professor emeritus of Art History, lecture on "Iconography of Ancient Greek Acanthus-Leaf-Type Clerestories." Something must be done! The office of the Dean of Student Affairs has received 101 letters from outraged par ents asking, "Why is little Johnny getting a well-rounded education instead of learn ing a trade?" and "Why does Henrietta want to go into Arts College where she will learn about old dead things instead of stay ing in teaching where she learns how to get along with real live people? Something must be done! University students have been on a cul tural jag for the past year this in spite of pleas from the Union, Student Council, The Nebraskan and the French Club. This paper feels, as do the other organizations named, that only two sensible approaches to Uni versity life can be made: - 1. If you are a coed, GET YOUR MAN. . If you aren't a coed, GRADUATE; thb will insure you a job with pay. Any other approach to the ever-present problem what do I want from college lift is childish and ridiculously idealistic. Something must be clone! A problem cicely allied with the one above was forcefully brought to the atten tion of The Nebraskan 15 minutes ago. Two telephone calls frantic calls came into this office, one from the director of the State Historical Society, the other from Morrill Hall. The directors of both institutions phoned to complain that, with the advent of spring weather, they were being swamped with University students. The students, both directors said, were coming in droves to look at the art exhibit and animals in Mor rill Hall, and to delve into the archives and see the displays at the Historical Society. Something must be done! Since something must be done to cor rect the misguided youth of this University, The Nebraskan will attempt to help. WTe are sponsoring BTTCHATUWTWC week Back To The Coffee Hour At The Univer sity; We're Through With Culcher. During this week, April 5-11, no book reading will be permitted. No concerts may be attend ed; no art works viewed. No thinking will be allowed; no talking of a serious nature will take place. Students will not talk to instructors; no tests will be taken. Our motto for the week We will not think of or appreciate any culcher whatso ever! With this always before us, we may be able to return to the good ole way of sliding through college Something most be done o. O. The question 'What, oh what ever shall we do about Ellen Smith Hall?" has long plagued hard-thinking University students and faculty. Solutions, appeals, demands, statements of fact, demonstrations of future plans for the University campus have all boiled down to the same thing. The issue is simple the building has to go, but there are those persons who hate to see a build ing, so long a tradition on campus, pass . away. The Nebraskan has made suggestions as . to what should be done to solve this knotty problem; however, the solution has not been found; the situation remains the same. a , A prolonged conference with J. M. Mc Doule, graduate student in the College of .. Architecture, has resulted in a solution to - the problem. The Nebraskan is happy to present and sponsor this plan. If adopted, it would show the citizens of Nebraska that . college students and administration can " think intelligently and act quickly, effec tively. First, Ellen Smith Hall would be com pletely encased with a cover of concrete, - Xhis OPHTe -ease shell would be re-inforced with steel and be at least three feet thick. McDoule explained that such a case would be uite expensive, but could be paid for from funds gathered by the Class Officers. McDoule also explained that labor for such a project would be hard to obtain, but shovelers and handymen could be recruited from the new members of Phi Beta Kappa and Sigma Xi. Once this shell was completed, it would be allowed a one-month period to dry. The unsightly concrete could be painted black with yellow circles for decoration. Also, Operation Blowup one-fourth inch peep holes would be in cluded in the concrete shell for those who wish to admire the beauty of the "dusty matron of campus buildings." Following the one month drying period, the shell would be completely wired with energy boxes constructed by McDoule. These energy boxes would be placed inside the building, with lead-in wires to a control box on the seventh floor of Love Library. The immediate area around Ellen Smith would then be cleared of students, faculty, administrative officials, visitors, alley cats, dogs, mice, automobiles and pine cones. McDoule would take over the control box, ?nd press four knobs twice. The energy boxes in Ellen Smith Hall would explode, reducing the building to approximately 1,400,572.789 pieces. The pieces would be contained inside the black and yellow spotted shell, which would remain intact and un harmed except for a slightly blackened in ner walL The pieces could then be sold to those who have a real love for old Ellen Smith HalL at a tidy profit, of course, and the concrete shell could then be adapted as the framework for another building. McDoule explained that his calculations are apt to be subject to some error, but thought the building would be completely reduced to at least the 1,400,572.789 pieces, "give or take .440 pieces." The plan is complete. Free labor and student interest are the only necessary com ponents lacking. The Nebraskan urges that each student do his part back the Blowup Plan. "The only thing I ain't got now, is that there dynamite," graduate student Mc Doule says. That there is all that he needs you do the rest. O. O . The 3.2 Paradise Today's Pink Rag carries the much be lated announcement that the DB&G has ob tained a license to sell beer in the Union. Many is the student that has longed for this day for many years, but if we are to seriously consider the move and the effect it will have on the University, other facts - must be aired. r First of all, many other Universities, throughout the country, have sold beer to their students long before this. One need Dnly mention the name of Tulagi's (Colorado - University) or the Rathskeller (University Jf Wisconsin) to any well-versed collegian, -and he will become pink with envy. r There is only one feasible answer to the Trtight of the impoverished student who .must wear his shoes out tramping to the DB&G, the frustrated youngster of 20 who must lie, or go without; the well meaning, but rather altruistic managers of the Crib, who think stout Cornhuskers are naive enough to drink hard 3.2 in the proximity of mere ice cream stand, or even the hard core of faculty members, who are afraid to speak their minds. The Editors of The Pink Rag offer this plan for the consideration of the entire stu dent body, the faculty and the honorable voters of the State of Nebraska. 1. The basement of the Union should be converted into a Rathskeller, but since this is Nebraska, and not Wisconsin, it should be called Sen-Son. This name would serve a two-fold pur pose. First of all, it memorializes all the loyal Scandinavians of this State, and sec ondly, it undoubtedly would eliminate the dire need for chlorophyl toothpaste. 2. The Pink Rag offers its humble suite of offices for the main bar. After all, jour nalists must carry on the tradition of the days of yellow journalism. Besides, the present room, vulgarly known as the Crib, would serve the Pink Rag's needs much better. Those steps are terribly long at the end of a hard day. O. O. Mayor's Fun The entire Lincoln area has been re stricted for a period of thirty days, Mayor Jeary has reported. No one will be allowed to enter or leave within a radius of twenty .'.miles. Police will patrol, the highways and the Margin Motes . . . new ruling will be strictly enforced. All violators will be fined $500 to help pay for a new city dump to be located behind the Student Health Center. Apparently there is no special reason for the restrictions. "I just thought it would be fun, the mayor remarked. FTFTY-THrED TEAR Member: Associated Colleriate Press Advertising representative: National Advertising Service, Inc. 420 Madison Ave New York 17, New Tort P""""? oxprouloa at .tadooW " Mi otrtolono nr. AMordlnt to Arttoto 11 too 3 U feowd of t,Wijtlo, -t o) too nvtima poile? HLa JT .J? "nnh'o ea too tn 1 too j.r"w,'. " mombor. of tho otM of To, itt" ooii rwpoomlMo lor who iboy mt m o o mom to ho ortnto4." mm to bo ortnto." flaboerlptUw ntoa In I! t fomootar, f I M nolle, m eoMleeo row, f4 molind. Slnglo copy to flv "" Pbllhoo tm Tdmooj, Wodeootiar on4 FrMay nrtHf to oebool roar, eirrpt wotloo as ouumlnotioo vorimio. Oaa Imuo puhlkhes oarlnf too month of 11 ot b--.o ro Of tea laivrrsltf of Kebraoka under too 0trrWiloi Of la Commlttot of Studoot Public tlooo. Knoorot mm oooond oloo motto M tho Foot Otfteo to LimwtB. Not.ro Ic. imdT Act of Conrrmn, Month I, U1, maS at opotdal rmto of rxxta.ee prnvldod for la (tocttou UM. of (wpm f oet. g, ifij Mtaortcoa Dept. U, im. EDITORIAL STAFF Editor &oi. rj Editorial Parr Bdltor Tom Woodward Maaaslnt Editor 4 00 Harrtooa Mow. Editor iu Nook Copy Editors Jane Carman, Dirk FrJlmoo, Morton n Hanoen, ftraw Harvr A.C Bdltor Man Frtenan Sport Editor Gary Fraadooa REPORTERS Beverly Oeepo, Harriet Rortg, Lywlrrao Owttier, Jar, Frandaen, WllUametto Onor.h, Barbara Elrke, Marcla Mlckolaen. 8am Jm.rn. Rarbara ( lark. Granny Warren. ' BUSINESS STAtr Bantnaea Hanarer. Stab filppio Aai't Bailor Manager Cbet Sinter. Doran Jacob. rot( t bllr Otreulatlna Manager Kan Inne Klrht New r.dlKir Marianne Hanaea Kdltnr'o. Note Today' liaue of The Nrhraakan I an Arll Fool Inane, a any fool ran plainly ee. Any and all Ineldrot printed in nrwi itorlr therein are purely ficUclou. LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS by Dick Eibler The Student Forum Tm afraid the engineers have tricked you, Miss Latour. The drawing course you were hired to model for is in the Fine Arts Building." The Challenge On Proaressive Education I have recently returned from a weekend of conference with Dr. Robert Hutchinc of Bouboo 1.. at which time we discussed at great length the inherent a word I picked up during the conversa tion) weaknesses of our present educational system. Hutchinz is one of America's greatest educators. His back ground speaks for itself (since he is unable to). In third grade, he was head and shoulders above the other eight-year-olds; he was 27. He should have been 28, but he was sick a year. He was the only pupil in sixth grade with a draft card. His term paper in junior high. "All Fruits Don't Grow on Trees" was printed in Playboy Magazine. On top of all these accomplishments Dr. Hutch inz passed 15 hours in Teacher's College. OOO "Much of the difficulty stems from the kindergarten teacher," the educator told me. "They're letting the kids eat too much paste nowadays." He told me of his kindergarten teacher. "She ruled with an iron fist and had a heart of steel. She was from Pitts burgh." They don't make 'em that way anymore, we'll all agree. Most citizens tend to ignore the great flaws in our educational system at all levels of education. Their ignorance of this problem is detrimental to the solution. Where have our educators gone astray? Why have they missed the boat? Why do we have this problem today? Who stole the ding-dong? Dr. Hutchinz and I agreed that our chief source of grief was the Teachers' manufacturing plant that's right Teacher's College. These people are not pre pared to teach our youth what they want to know. "The main pain with these po tential profs in my school is they don't have it. in the face," said Dean Handslick, head of the school. He referred to the students of the teaching art as being not tooprctty looking. Hutchinz and I disregard this argument, however, for something which is much more important and basic. Can they teach? Can they give our children the best education possible? Can they mold the future leaders of this country? Can they lead the moldy future of our stagnant, sterile educa tional system? "Negative," (no) said the doc tor. The state of affairs in Teach er's College is deplorable (bad). "Do you mean teachers' affairs are getting worse?," I said. "Pos itive (yes)" he retorted. The fact is that today's finest teachers and educators are grad uated from Business Administra tion. They are taught the art of Swindlerism, how Hicks lives, the conservation of Meadows, the principles of the Sellers market and the methods of Dr. Reinhardt, tracer of lost golf balls. o "What I'm trying to say is, they are not giving the students in Teacher's College (students that are more interested in their school work than in getting an education a well-rounded back ground. They don't even have to know how to speak a foreign language anymore. How are they going to avoid the question of some bright ten year old speak ing English without getting caught in the act?" I told the good doctor they were trying to lower the require ments for receiving the certifi cates and degrees they offer. "Hell, that's good. Then they can throw the college kids in with the high school over there and save money on teachers who are teach ing them to teach." I naturally re plied, "huh?" At any rate, this is the chal lenge. Are us whom are so goodly educated going to set back and leave these avoiders of learning teach our children the 4-R'a (Rickets being the latest addi tion). I say NO: Dr. Hutchinz says NO.' Dr. Handslick says go vpstairs and sleep it off. I Stole All This And I'm Glad Nebraskan Staff Piagiarizer Presents 'Re-Worked' College World Incidents By "STICKY" FINGERS Here are a few of the legal aspects of the Traffic Rules and Regulations as written up in the Iowa State "Rasputinberts Re port." These rules were said to be in effect at Iowa State. 1. To obtain parking permits one must commute at least a dis tance of 500 miles per day and show ample proof that he is un able to walk that distance to classes. 2. To submit your request for a parking permit merely file in triplicate, Iowa State College Form aaa56-523055, Section B, Part 1. Submit copies of your birth certificate, Boy Scout badge and pedigree. Send the completed information to the Physical Plant and wait patiently for your an swer. In the meantime parking will be allowed outside a circle around the campus for a distance of 10 miles. 3. On receiving a permit, you will be required to pass the United States Air Force flying physical. This is necessary to be able to read the "No Parking" signs which were no doubt made for high flying junior birdmen. 4. After reaching the campus, all that will be necessary is to find a place that permit parking is allowed. Various gas stations will be installed on all corners to keep motorists from running short as they look for parking places. list Of Traffic Violations: 1. Snudff, Beamis K., age 6, ar rested and hanged for speeding on a tricycle on Pammel Drive 2. Funnijstunk, Sarup P., age 28, arrested and fined for pass ing a dead horse, indirect viola tion of Section 10, overtaking and passing a stopped vehicle. 3. Arrested today, Quemist W. Schnoor. While engaged in the all-college sport of running down government profs. Quemish jumped in his seat with joy at the sound of the pleasant thud. Charge, sqeaky springs. List Of Minor Charges "Lefty the Lug," charged with manslaughter. Acquitted. "Sunshine" Farnswortn, 1st de gree murder. Not guilty. "Goose Lips" O'Houlihan, rob bery, murder and extortion. Not guilty, acted in self defense. A report from Dismal Seep age, Ohio: "The green between them was as soft as swan's down. The two came closer to gether over the parapet of green. Closer and closer they came. One a blushing red and the other a pale white. They mett, an instant later they kissed. Then, darn the luck, a little more English on with the red ball and it would have been a bil liard." AT COLUMBIA University a group of law students thought they had rammed a pretty good stunt down the throats of the University officials. For the last four years they had enrolled a fellow by the name John Judd in the College of Business Admin istration. They had registered for him, paid his fees, written out papers for him and taken his examinations. When it came time for graduation, the students de cided that the cognomen John Judd might just as well be tacked onto a horse as a University student. Everyone came to the gradu ation in the hopes of seeing a horse graduate. The President gave his usual speech and dur ing the course of the diploma presentation said quite good naturedly that through some mechanical error a horse was going to be graduated. A roar greeted this announcement from the well-informed audience. "However," the President con tinued, "This is the first time a whole horse has been graduated from this University." ' PLEDGES at Minnesota Uni versity on their sneak locked all the actives in the house. They sneaked in a horse and electro cuted it. They drove a car in through the French windows and took off the wheels. They set off tear gas in the house and rang a huge gong and a police siren. They took all the china and put it on the front steps. They took cut sections of pipe in the water system. They turned off the heat. They put crushed kidney pills in the coffee cans. When the actives ran down the stairs in the middle of the night, they had to break open windows to get out. Running down the front steps, they broke all the china. The horse was to heavy to get out and thev had to butcher it in the house. The cof fee saved the day, however. It served as stimulant, cleanser coloring agent and exerciser ' Where Were We? By BERT BISHOP This is the age of vanishing tra ditions, of falling ideals and wav ering principles. Last night, for the first time In history, inde pendent students sat in a block and watched the finals of the Uni versity Chess Tournament in com plete silence COLD SOBER! Once upon a time, when our fathers were marking up the rec ords on these ivy-covered walls, it was considered a sin worse than poetry if any of the specta tors at the chess tournament could walk home. Now, it seems as if the last shred of respect for the old way has gone the way of all things beautiful. The Chess Tournament has been made a mockery and a shallow gesture. 00 Talking to Wismer Anderson, who managed enough presence of mind to win last night, this col umnist received a first-hand re port of the emotional effect of the thoughtless students' action. "It was hell!" he said. "There we sat before the games began, tense, full of misgivings and doubts about our own talents, but confident that the shout of the crowd would stir us on to do our best. We knew before we had en tered the arena that the drunken enthusiasm would be there, that the old, nostalgic smell of gin and water would be there, that the sight of bleary eyes which glinted We don't give a damn' would be there to fill ns with pride and ambition to give our all. But the seats were filled with cold-eyed, nonchalant, machine like people who were quietly look ing at their programs. "Oh, the shock and disillusion we felt! No cries of 'Put the; in check!' 'His queen grab the old witch!' No challenge from the crowd shouting "Gutless' when Henderson opened with the King's Gambit. I tell you, if Harry (Clawson) hadn't crark . the final game, I wouKa h In answer to whethpr h defend his title i he Woul sessions, he said, "i don-tTme I doubt it. Without th. ,2 :.kno there's hard work ithoutthe nlH :10 just no glory , V. W,Q1 It is not difficult in ,0. ,l. suits of youth's callousness u-M mpn like Anrt. M stnriM And AnH.... , eU 'i . -....aui, 1S - .... J this year (he is a junior ing m basket-weaving since Unless thru: r.t ..ierel- . ua wnQ .. .tvcie ute trar " --cut;iHS Set PV r. v. smuuparents bar w. cimic country i danger of falling smh . -u..rsslnr; pul .1 riav'o tmh f.. J rul , .,vo, urMgners, hu osophers and scientist .1 1 school dedicated colleges ...uc , oooie and m sipation to the liberal edufatin ...... u.u nannie, touch d sell on the open market But thJ woro men anri vnn.. . . M ...en iicks, mat what thH were aoing nad a value of j K!?:, rs.Te!.hlns . inpsSibil vcauiuui ami proiound. The chaos of today is tho ji.oii.iuoj, me oest way fight subversive ideoloe-p through a renewal of our f- sppm lintocc 1 , c icunn io O'J situ neiuagcs, we will soon de MJUl icy. Liet s make this week Back-J the-Brewery Week. Don't se:1 your parents to uie tavern, U tnem. Letterip Name Withheld Asks Two Questions Move The Coeds Off Campus Old Dear Editor: After reading the two letters to you from a Jerry Weinberg, I have several questions I should like to ask. First, what does that word sic after some of his words mean? My dictionary says: "Sicilian: Sicily, or from Sicily." One of my friends in journalism says that sic is a eopyreading symbol put into information from a per son where there are mistakes that cannot be corrected without changing the tone of the informa tion or statement I'd like to know, is this correct? Second, I don't like the Coli seum the building here on the campus. It's vacant most of the time, with little happening that interests or concerns the whole campus. During the week, the building is used by wrestlers, swimmers and basketball play ers. I don't fall into the wrestler, swimmer or basketball player category, thus the building does n't interest me. Of course having these teams might be important to the University, but the whole University isn't interested in them. For this reason the Coliseum is only set up to have a practice and playing space for these ath letes. Just because they repre sent the University is no reason to have a whole building for them. Why not then, like Weinberg suggested, have students bring letters, in person to The Nebras kan office, stating that they want to keep the Coliseum. If only two or three hundred bring letters in, we should tear down the Coliseum. Do not edit, this letter. If you can't print all of it, don't print any of it, or you'll ruin the whole train of thought and the reason ing behind it. Name Withheld by Request. Femaes.' Dear Editor, It is with great pain in my heart that 1 sit here in my little alcove (book-lined alcove, if you like) and take pen in hand to write to you. It is with great pain because I have never stooped to writing letters to newspapers before. But the other day a startling and shocking incident happened and 1 wish to make a protest to a paper that may be able to do something to correct a terrible situation. I ventured out of my little book -lined alcove last week. Now, this is a serious matter since I have not ventured out some time. Research, you knei As I walked alone the cs pus, I noticed some new bull mgs Burnett Hall, the footti stadium, and others. I also ti with horror some females.! Now, when I becan mv search there were no females this campus. I want to set this on the id ord as a protest against this ovation. I think having iemi. around destroys the ivy-clad : mosphere of my book-lined cove on fifth floor of that gral old building, Ulen Smith Hal'.I I. M. Dob's Dilliesl 4ftiac this April 1 mkuc if almost w devoted to banter and fJicblty Jiffl tuctu I rhftUKht H would be all nrt have die "Immnr man' ia th awal hi vet aeriotts mm4 tmt nme help t ft niit Ktudeafv. So hett cs here chance to learn lit do ftomcrhirtr yoaU in erwy da mine.) THE SLIDE RULE I'ETE OF CALCULATING THE ANG "B" of sin X ; Theiai. Since tanh X is less than 1 0.01, it follows thst 0.01 is gre; than tanB less uan 1. The ar. "B" may therefore be er smaller or n cater than 5.75 grees, and thus l.e either on st ST or on scale T of the slide r It is a good idea to light u: cigarette and take a eooa r: slug e this time, after takin, quick look at the scales on y slide rule.) It is just equal 5 7S ri.m.nA. -Kn tan tV equals 0.1 tarih X. Hence with slide and b matched, on scale Th, the at. B is less than 5.75 degrees shoj be read on scale ST. On the o: hand, when Theta is to the r. of X on scale Th, tan Theta more than 0.1 tanh X, and angle B is more than 5.75 degr should be read on scaje i. ' should pretty well clear th. up. If not, another cigarette slug). Another way of stating this i follows: Set the indicator on scale Th, and move Theta scale-St under the indicator the slide protrudes to the r R than 5 75 degrees' should be read on scale ST the slide protrudes to tne (B more than 5.75) and si be read on scale T; it rn., 4V,ernfnrf that rule given under case one h also for case two. University Life Farcial Functions THURSDAY The AWS (Agitated Women Sufferers) will meet at 6 a.m. In Oak Lake. Joyce Johnson will speak to the closet girls on "How to Get a Man," from first hand experience. Dr. Morbid P. Ghoul will speak at the Reunion of the Class of '02 (1802) at 12 mid night six feet under the foot ball field. Dr. Ghoul, president of the class, will discuss the iea son the grass is growing so well on the field under the heading of "You Too Can Become a Fer tilizer." Since Thursday night is "To-Heck- With - Responsibility Night," the PBK (Party and Beer Klub) members have voted to invite all students who did not receive downs to their weekly party as a special concession. Joan Holden will furnish the en tertainment which will consist of a dive from the top of the Caril lon tower into a bucket filled with champagne. FRIDAY The ZBT's will hold their bi annual get-together in Love Me morial Library at 7 p.m. There will be a contest to see who can read the most books in five min utes. The winner will receive a gold plated copy of "I Led Three Lives," by John Charles Thomas. A sneak preview of "The Secret Life of John K. Selleck" will be held in the Lincoln Jour nal office at 4 p.m. All Pink Rag staff writers are urged to attend. The Orchesis Spring Program will star Bill Holloran, Jerry Minnick and Max Kitzelman as the Sugar Plum Fairies in "The Nutcracker Suite." The program will be presented at 8:15 p.m. on the sun deck of the Gamma Phi house. ATTENTION ALL MEN STUDENTS Contracts are now being accepted for the Men's Rsidence Halls for Fall, 1954. The new build ings will be ready for occupancy by September. All accommodations are for room and board Rates, $260 per semester. Payable quarterly or in a lump sum. , Application and contract for mi are available at the University Housing Office, Administration Building, Room 209. Complete information is included on the contract form, or call the Residence Halls Phone, 2-7651. SPECIAL NOTICE: GRADUATE STUDENTS Graduate students will le accepted in the Residence Halls beginning thl fall. If enough graduate students sign contracts, one entire section of the Residence Halls will be 6et aside for graduate students. A A not Hi! asi n tir