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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1954)
Thursday, April ), 1954
Mo Culture Here!
Something must be done!
A serious situation at the University has
become worse. Coffee houses were forced
to close again last week when a convocation
was given. For the second time in as many
months, the Coliseum was packed with stu
dents. Faculty members were turned away
at the door.
Something must be done!
The Nebraskan is deeply shocked and
hurt to learn that every student at the Uni
versity turned out to hear Dr. L. W. Cmby
fumbee, professor emeritus of Art History,
lecture on "Iconography of Ancient Greek
Something must be done!
The office of the Dean of Student Affairs
has received 101 letters from outraged par
ents asking, "Why is little Johnny getting
a well-rounded education instead of learn
ing a trade?" and "Why does Henrietta
want to go into Arts College where she will
learn about old dead things instead of stay
ing in teaching where she learns how to get
along with real live people?
Something must be done!
University students have been on a cul
tural jag for the past year this in spite of
pleas from the Union, Student Council, The
Nebraskan and the French Club. This paper
feels, as do the other organizations named,
that only two sensible approaches to Uni
versity life can be made:
- 1. If you are a coed, GET YOUR MAN.
. If you aren't a coed, GRADUATE;
thb will insure you a job with pay.
Any other approach to the ever-present
problem what do I want from college lift
is childish and ridiculously idealistic.
Something must be clone!
A problem cicely allied with the one
above was forcefully brought to the atten
tion of The Nebraskan 15 minutes ago. Two
telephone calls frantic calls came into this
office, one from the director of the State
Historical Society, the other from Morrill
Hall. The directors of both institutions
phoned to complain that, with the advent of
spring weather, they were being swamped
with University students. The students, both
directors said, were coming in droves to
look at the art exhibit and animals in Mor
rill Hall, and to delve into the archives and
see the displays at the Historical Society.
Something must be done!
Since something must be done to cor
rect the misguided youth of this University,
The Nebraskan will attempt to help. WTe
are sponsoring BTTCHATUWTWC week
Back To The Coffee Hour At The Univer
sity; We're Through With Culcher. During
this week, April 5-11, no book reading will
be permitted. No concerts may be attend
ed; no art works viewed. No thinking will
be allowed; no talking of a serious nature
will take place. Students will not talk to
instructors; no tests will be taken.
Our motto for the week We will not
think of or appreciate any culcher whatso
ever! With this always before us, we may
be able to return to the good ole way of
sliding through college
Something most be done o. O.
The question 'What, oh what ever shall
we do about Ellen Smith Hall?" has long
plagued hard-thinking University students
and faculty. Solutions, appeals, demands,
statements of fact, demonstrations of future
plans for the University campus have all
boiled down to the same thing. The issue
is simple the building has to go, but there
are those persons who hate to see a build
ing, so long a tradition on campus, pass
The Nebraskan has made suggestions as
. to what should be done to solve this knotty
problem; however, the solution has not been
found; the situation remains the same.
A prolonged conference with J. M. Mc
Doule, graduate student in the College of
.. Architecture, has resulted in a solution to
- the problem. The Nebraskan is happy to
present and sponsor this plan. If adopted,
it would show the citizens of Nebraska that
. college students and administration can
" think intelligently and act quickly, effec
tively. First, Ellen Smith Hall would be com
pletely encased with a cover of concrete,
- Xhis OPHTe -ease shell would be re-inforced
with steel and be at least three feet thick.
McDoule explained that such a case would
be uite expensive, but could be paid for
from funds gathered by the Class Officers.
McDoule also explained that labor for
such a project would be hard to obtain, but
shovelers and handymen could be recruited
from the new members of Phi Beta Kappa
and Sigma Xi.
Once this shell was completed, it would
be allowed a one-month period to dry. The
unsightly concrete could be painted black
with yellow circles for decoration. Also,
one-fourth inch peep holes would be in
cluded in the concrete shell for those who
wish to admire the beauty of the "dusty
matron of campus buildings."
Following the one month drying period,
the shell would be completely wired with
energy boxes constructed by McDoule. These
energy boxes would be placed inside the
building, with lead-in wires to a control
box on the seventh floor of Love Library.
The immediate area around Ellen Smith
would then be cleared of students, faculty,
administrative officials, visitors, alley cats,
dogs, mice, automobiles and pine cones.
McDoule would take over the control box,
?nd press four knobs twice. The energy
boxes in Ellen Smith Hall would explode,
reducing the building to approximately
1,400,572.789 pieces. The pieces would be
contained inside the black and yellow spotted
shell, which would remain intact and un
harmed except for a slightly blackened in
The pieces could then be sold to those
who have a real love for old Ellen Smith
HalL at a tidy profit, of course, and the
concrete shell could then be adapted as the
framework for another building.
McDoule explained that his calculations
are apt to be subject to some error, but
thought the building would be completely
reduced to at least the 1,400,572.789 pieces,
"give or take .440 pieces."
The plan is complete. Free labor and
student interest are the only necessary com
ponents lacking. The Nebraskan urges that
each student do his part back the Blowup
Plan. "The only thing I ain't got now, is
that there dynamite," graduate student Mc
Doule says. That there is all that he needs
you do the rest. O. O .
The 3.2 Paradise
Today's Pink Rag carries the much be
lated announcement that the DB&G has ob
tained a license to sell beer in the Union.
Many is the student that has longed for
this day for many years, but if we are to
seriously consider the move and the effect
it will have on the University, other facts
- must be aired.
r First of all, many other Universities,
throughout the country, have sold beer to
their students long before this. One need
Dnly mention the name of Tulagi's (Colorado
- University) or the Rathskeller (University
Jf Wisconsin) to any well-versed collegian,
-and he will become pink with envy.
r There is only one feasible answer to the
Trtight of the impoverished student who
.must wear his shoes out tramping to the
DB&G, the frustrated youngster of 20 who
must lie, or go without; the well meaning,
but rather altruistic managers of the Crib,
who think stout Cornhuskers are naive
enough to drink hard 3.2 in the proximity of
mere ice cream stand, or even the hard
core of faculty members, who are afraid to
speak their minds.
The Editors of The Pink Rag offer this
plan for the consideration of the entire stu
dent body, the faculty and the honorable
voters of the State of Nebraska.
1. The basement of the Union should be
converted into a Rathskeller, but since this
is Nebraska, and not Wisconsin, it should
be called Sen-Son.
This name would serve a two-fold pur
pose. First of all, it memorializes all the
loyal Scandinavians of this State, and sec
ondly, it undoubtedly would eliminate the
dire need for chlorophyl toothpaste.
2. The Pink Rag offers its humble suite
of offices for the main bar. After all, jour
nalists must carry on the tradition of the
days of yellow journalism. Besides, the
present room, vulgarly known as the Crib,
would serve the Pink Rag's needs much
Those steps are terribly long at the end
of a hard day. O. O.
The entire Lincoln area has been re
stricted for a period of thirty days, Mayor
Jeary has reported. No one will be allowed
to enter or leave within a radius of twenty
Police will patrol, the highways and the
Margin Motes . . .
new ruling will be strictly enforced. All
violators will be fined $500 to help pay for
a new city dump to be located behind the
Student Health Center.
Apparently there is no special reason for
the restrictions. "I just thought it would
be fun, the mayor remarked.
Member: Associated Colleriate Press
Advertising representative: National Advertising Service, Inc.
420 Madison Ave New York 17, New Tort
P""""? oxprouloa at .tadooW
" Mi otrtolono nr. AMordlnt to Arttoto 11 too
3 U feowd of t,Wijtlo, -t o) too nvtima poile?
HLa JT .J? "nnh'o ea too tn 1 too
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"" Pbllhoo tm Tdmooj, Wodeootiar on4 FrMay
nrtHf to oebool roar, eirrpt wotloo as ouumlnotioo
vorimio. Oaa Imuo puhlkhes oarlnf too month of 11
ot b--.o ro Of tea laivrrsltf of Kebraoka under too
0trrWiloi Of la Commlttot of Studoot Public tlooo.
Knoorot mm oooond oloo motto M tho Foot Otfteo to
LimwtB. Not.ro Ic. imdT Act of Conrrmn, Month I,
U1, maS at opotdal rmto of rxxta.ee prnvldod for la
(tocttou UM. of (wpm f oet. g, ifij Mtaortcoa
Dept. U, im.
Editor &oi. rj
Editorial Parr Bdltor Tom Woodward
Maaaslnt Editor 4 00 Harrtooa
Mow. Editor iu Nook
Copy Editors Jane Carman, Dirk FrJlmoo,
Morton n Hanoen, ftraw Harvr
A.C Bdltor Man Frtenan
Sport Editor Gary Fraadooa
Beverly Oeepo, Harriet Rortg, Lywlrrao Owttier, Jar,
Frandaen, WllUametto Onor.h, Barbara Elrke, Marcla
Mlckolaen. 8am Jm.rn. Rarbara ( lark. Granny Warren.
' BUSINESS STAtr
Bantnaea Hanarer. Stab filppio
Aai't Bailor Manager Cbet Sinter. Doran Jacob.
rot( t bllr
Otreulatlna Manager Kan Inne
Klrht New r.dlKir Marianne Hanaea
Kdltnr'o. Note Today' liaue of The Nrhraakan I an
Arll Fool Inane, a any fool ran plainly ee. Any and
all Ineldrot printed in nrwi itorlr therein are purely
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS
by Dick Eibler
The Student Forum
Tm afraid the engineers have tricked you, Miss Latour. The
drawing course you were hired to model for is in the Fine
On Proaressive Education
I have recently returned from a
weekend of conference with Dr.
Robert Hutchinc of Bouboo 1..
at which time we discussed at
great length the inherent a word
I picked up during the conversa
tion) weaknesses of our present
Hutchinz is one of America's
greatest educators. His back
ground speaks for itself (since he
is unable to). In third grade, he
was head and shoulders above
the other eight-year-olds; he was
27. He should have been 28, but
he was sick a year. He was the
only pupil in sixth grade with a
draft card. His term paper in
junior high. "All Fruits Don't
Grow on Trees" was printed in
Playboy Magazine. On top of all
these accomplishments Dr. Hutch
inz passed 15 hours in Teacher's
"Much of the difficulty stems
from the kindergarten teacher,"
the educator told me. "They're
letting the kids eat too much
paste nowadays." He told me of
his kindergarten teacher. "She
ruled with an iron fist and had a
heart of steel. She was from Pitts
burgh." They don't make 'em
that way anymore, we'll all agree.
Most citizens tend to ignore
the great flaws in our educational
system at all levels of education.
Their ignorance of this problem
is detrimental to the solution.
Where have our educators gone
astray? Why have they missed
the boat? Why do we have this
problem today? Who stole the
Dr. Hutchinz and I agreed that
our chief source of grief was
the Teachers' manufacturing
plant that's right Teacher's
College. These people are not pre
pared to teach our youth what
they want to know.
"The main pain with these po
tential profs in my school is they
don't have it. in the face," said
Dean Handslick, head of the
school. He referred to the students
of the teaching art as being not
Hutchinz and I disregard this
argument, however, for something
which is much more important
and basic. Can they teach? Can
they give our children the best
education possible? Can they mold
the future leaders of this country?
Can they lead the moldy future
of our stagnant, sterile educa
"Negative," (no) said the doc
tor. The state of affairs in Teach
er's College is deplorable (bad).
"Do you mean teachers' affairs
are getting worse?," I said. "Pos
itive (yes)" he retorted.
The fact is that today's finest
teachers and educators are grad
uated from Business Administra
tion. They are taught the art of
Swindlerism, how Hicks lives, the
conservation of Meadows, the
principles of the Sellers market
and the methods of Dr. Reinhardt,
tracer of lost golf balls.
"What I'm trying to say is, they
are not giving the students in
Teacher's College (students that
are more interested in their
school work than in getting an
education a well-rounded back
ground. They don't even have to
know how to speak a foreign
language anymore. How are they
going to avoid the question of
some bright ten year old speak
ing English without getting caught
in the act?"
I told the good doctor they
were trying to lower the require
ments for receiving the certifi
cates and degrees they offer.
"Hell, that's good. Then they can
throw the college kids in with the
high school over there and save
money on teachers who are teach
ing them to teach." I naturally re
At any rate, this is the chal
lenge. Are us whom are so goodly
educated going to set back and
leave these avoiders of learning
teach our children the 4-R'a
(Rickets being the latest addi
tion). I say NO: Dr. Hutchinz
says NO.' Dr. Handslick says go
vpstairs and sleep it off.
I Stole All This And I'm Glad
Nebraskan Staff Piagiarizer Presents
'Re-Worked' College World Incidents
By "STICKY" FINGERS
Here are a few of the legal
aspects of the Traffic Rules and
Regulations as written up in the
Iowa State "Rasputinberts Re
port." These rules were said to
be in effect at Iowa State.
1. To obtain parking permits
one must commute at least a dis
tance of 500 miles per day and
show ample proof that he is un
able to walk that distance to
2. To submit your request for a
parking permit merely file in
triplicate, Iowa State College
Form aaa56-523055, Section B,
Part 1. Submit copies of your
birth certificate, Boy Scout badge
and pedigree. Send the completed
information to the Physical Plant
and wait patiently for your an
swer. In the meantime parking
will be allowed outside a circle
around the campus for a distance
of 10 miles.
3. On receiving a permit, you
will be required to pass the
United States Air Force flying
physical. This is necessary to be
able to read the "No Parking"
signs which were no doubt made
for high flying junior birdmen.
4. After reaching the campus,
all that will be necessary is to
find a place that permit parking
is allowed. Various gas stations
will be installed on all corners
to keep motorists from running
short as they look for parking
list Of Traffic Violations:
1. Snudff, Beamis K., age 6, ar
rested and hanged for speeding
on a tricycle on Pammel Drive
2. Funnijstunk, Sarup P., age
28, arrested and fined for pass
ing a dead horse, indirect viola
tion of Section 10, overtaking
and passing a stopped vehicle.
3. Arrested today, Quemist W.
Schnoor. While engaged in the
all-college sport of running down
government profs. Quemish
jumped in his seat with joy at
the sound of the pleasant thud.
Charge, sqeaky springs.
List Of Minor Charges
"Lefty the Lug," charged with
"Sunshine" Farnswortn, 1st de
gree murder. Not guilty.
"Goose Lips" O'Houlihan, rob
bery, murder and extortion. Not
guilty, acted in self defense.
A report from Dismal Seep
age, Ohio: "The green between
them was as soft as swan's
down. The two came closer to
gether over the parapet of
green. Closer and closer they
came. One a blushing red and
the other a pale white. They
mett, an instant later they kissed.
Then, darn the luck, a little more
English on with the red ball
and it would have been a bil
liard." AT COLUMBIA University a
group of law students thought
they had rammed a pretty good
stunt down the throats of the
University officials. For the last
four years they had enrolled a
fellow by the name John Judd in
the College of Business Admin
istration. They had registered for
him, paid his fees, written out
papers for him and taken his
examinations. When it came time
for graduation, the students de
cided that the cognomen John
Judd might just as well be tacked
onto a horse as a University
Everyone came to the gradu
ation in the hopes of seeing a
horse graduate. The President
gave his usual speech and dur
ing the course of the diploma
presentation said quite good
naturedly that through some
mechanical error a horse was
going to be graduated. A roar
greeted this announcement from
the well-informed audience.
"However," the President con
tinued, "This is the first time a
whole horse has been graduated
from this University."
PLEDGES at Minnesota Uni
versity on their sneak locked all
the actives in the house. They
sneaked in a horse and electro
cuted it. They drove a car in
through the French windows and
took off the wheels. They set off
tear gas in the house and rang
a huge gong and a police siren.
They took all the china and put
it on the front steps. They took
cut sections of pipe in the water
system. They turned off the heat.
They put crushed kidney pills
in the coffee cans.
When the actives ran down
the stairs in the middle of the
night, they had to break open
windows to get out. Running down
the front steps, they broke all
the china. The horse was to
heavy to get out and thev had to
butcher it in the house. The cof
fee saved the day, however. It
served as stimulant, cleanser
coloring agent and exerciser '
Where Were We?
By BERT BISHOP
This is the age of vanishing tra
ditions, of falling ideals and wav
ering principles. Last night, for
the first time In history, inde
pendent students sat in a block
and watched the finals of the Uni
versity Chess Tournament in com
plete silence COLD SOBER!
Once upon a time, when our
fathers were marking up the rec
ords on these ivy-covered walls,
it was considered a sin worse
than poetry if any of the specta
tors at the chess tournament
could walk home. Now, it seems
as if the last shred of respect for
the old way has gone the way of
all things beautiful. The Chess
Tournament has been made a
mockery and a shallow gesture.
Talking to Wismer Anderson,
who managed enough presence of
mind to win last night, this col
umnist received a first-hand re
port of the emotional effect of the
thoughtless students' action.
"It was hell!" he said. "There
we sat before the games began,
tense, full of misgivings and
doubts about our own talents, but
confident that the shout of the
crowd would stir us on to do our
best. We knew before we had en
tered the arena that the drunken
enthusiasm would be there, that
the old, nostalgic smell of gin
and water would be there, that
the sight of bleary eyes which
glinted We don't give a damn'
would be there to fill ns with
pride and ambition to give our
But the seats were filled with
cold-eyed, nonchalant, machine
like people who were quietly look
ing at their programs.
"Oh, the shock and disillusion
we felt! No cries of 'Put the; in
check!' 'His queen grab the old
witch!' No challenge from the
crowd shouting "Gutless' when
Henderson opened with the King's
Gambit. I tell you, if Harry
(Clawson) hadn't crark .
the final game, I wouKa h
In answer to whethpr h
defend his title i he Woul
sessions, he said, "i don-tTme
I doubt it. Without th. ,2 :.kno
ithoutthe nlH :10
just no glory , V. W,Q1
It is not difficult in ,0. ,l.
suits of youth's callousness u-M
mpn like Anrt. M
stnriM And AnH.... , eU 'i
. -....aui, 1S - .... J
this year (he is a junior
ing m basket-weaving since
Unless thru: r.t ..ierel-
. ua wnQ
.. .tvcie ute trar
" --cut;iHS Set PV r.
v. smuuparents bar
w. cimic country i
danger of falling smh
. -u..rsslnr; pul .1
riav'o tmh f.. J rul ,
.,vo, urMgners, hu
osophers and scientist .1 1
school dedicated colleges
...uc , oooie and m
sipation to the liberal edufatin
...... u.u nannie, touch d
sell on the open market But thJ
woro men anri vnn.. . . M
...en iicks, mat what thH
were aoing nad a value of j
K!?:, rs.Te!.hlns . inpsSibil
vcauiuui ami proiound.
The chaos of today is tho
ji.oii.iuoj, me oest way
fight subversive ideoloe-p
through a renewal of our f-
sppm lintocc 1
, c icunn io O'J
situ neiuagcs, we will soon de
Liet s make this week Back-J
the-Brewery Week. Don't se:1
your parents to uie tavern, U
Name Withheld Asks Two Questions
Move The Coeds Off Campus Old
After reading the two letters
to you from a Jerry Weinberg, I
have several questions I should
like to ask.
First, what does that word sic
after some of his words mean?
My dictionary says: "Sicilian:
Sicily, or from Sicily." One of
my friends in journalism says
that sic is a eopyreading symbol
put into information from a per
son where there are mistakes
that cannot be corrected without
changing the tone of the informa
tion or statement I'd like to
know, is this correct?
Second, I don't like the Coli
seum the building here on the
campus. It's vacant most of the
time, with little happening that
interests or concerns the whole
campus. During the week, the
building is used by wrestlers,
swimmers and basketball play
ers. I don't fall into the wrestler,
swimmer or basketball player
category, thus the building does
n't interest me. Of course having
these teams might be important
to the University, but the whole
University isn't interested in
For this reason the Coliseum
is only set up to have a practice
and playing space for these ath
letes. Just because they repre
sent the University is no reason
to have a whole building for them.
Why not then, like Weinberg
suggested, have students bring
letters, in person to The Nebras
kan office, stating that they want
to keep the Coliseum.
If only two or three hundred
bring letters in, we should tear
down the Coliseum.
Do not edit, this letter. If you
can't print all of it, don't print
any of it, or you'll ruin the whole
train of thought and the reason
ing behind it.
Name Withheld by Request.
It is with great pain in my
heart that 1 sit here in my little
alcove (book-lined alcove, if you
like) and take pen in hand to
write to you.
It is with great pain because
I have never stooped to writing
letters to newspapers before. But
the other day a startling and
shocking incident happened and
1 wish to make a protest to a
paper that may be able to do
something to correct a terrible
I ventured out of my little
book -lined alcove last week.
Now, this is a serious matter
since I have not ventured out
some time. Research, you knei
As I walked alone the cs
pus, I noticed some new bull
mgs Burnett Hall, the footti
stadium, and others. I also ti
with horror some females.!
Now, when I becan mv
search there were no females
I want to set this on the id
ord as a protest against this
ovation. I think having iemi.
around destroys the ivy-clad :
mosphere of my book-lined
cove on fifth floor of that gral
old building, Ulen Smith Hal'.I
4ftiac this April 1 mkuc if almost w
devoted to banter and fJicblty Jiffl
tuctu I rhftUKht H would be all nrt
have die "Immnr man' ia th awal hi
vet aeriotts mm4 tmt nme help t ft
niit Ktudeafv. So hett cs here
chance to learn lit do ftomcrhirtr yoaU
in erwy da mine.)
THE SLIDE RULE I'ETE
OF CALCULATING THE ANG
"B" of sin X ; Theiai.
Since tanh X is less than 1
0.01, it follows thst 0.01 is gre;
than tanB less uan 1. The ar.
"B" may therefore be er
smaller or n cater than 5.75
grees, and thus l.e either on st
ST or on scale T of the slide r
It is a good idea to light u:
cigarette and take a eooa r:
slug e this time, after takin,
quick look at the scales on y
slide rule.) It is just equal
5 7S ri.m.nA. -Kn tan tV
equals 0.1 tarih X.
Hence with slide and b
matched, on scale Th, the at.
B is less than 5.75 degrees shoj
be read on scale ST. On the o:
hand, when Theta is to the r.
of X on scale Th, tan Theta
more than 0.1 tanh X, and
angle B is more than 5.75 degr
should be read on scaje i. '
should pretty well clear th.
up. If not, another cigarette
Another way of stating this i
follows: Set the indicator
on scale Th, and move Theta
scale-St under the indicator
the slide protrudes to the r
R than 5 75 degrees'
should be read on scale ST
the slide protrudes to tne
(B more than 5.75) and si
be read on scale T;
it rn., 4V,ernfnrf that
rule given under case one h
also for case two.
The AWS (Agitated Women
Sufferers) will meet at 6 a.m.
In Oak Lake. Joyce Johnson will
speak to the closet girls on
"How to Get a Man," from first
Dr. Morbid P. Ghoul will
speak at the Reunion of the
Class of '02 (1802) at 12 mid
night six feet under the foot
ball field. Dr. Ghoul, president
of the class, will discuss the iea
son the grass is growing so well
on the field under the heading
of "You Too Can Become a Fer
tilizer." Since Thursday night is "To-Heck-
With - Responsibility
Night," the PBK (Party and Beer
Klub) members have voted to
invite all students who did not
receive downs to their weekly
party as a special concession.
Joan Holden will furnish the en
tertainment which will consist of
a dive from the top of the Caril
lon tower into a bucket filled
The ZBT's will hold their bi
annual get-together in Love Me
morial Library at 7 p.m. There
will be a contest to see who can
read the most books in five min
utes. The winner will receive
a gold plated copy of "I Led
Three Lives," by John Charles
A sneak preview of "The
Secret Life of John K. Selleck"
will be held in the Lincoln Jour
nal office at 4 p.m. All Pink
Rag staff writers are urged to
The Orchesis Spring Program
will star Bill Holloran, Jerry
Minnick and Max Kitzelman as
the Sugar Plum Fairies in "The
Nutcracker Suite." The program
will be presented at 8:15 p.m.
on the sun deck of the Gamma
ALL MEN STUDENTS
Contracts are now being accepted for the Men's
Rsidence Halls for Fall, 1954. The new build
ings will be ready for occupancy by September.
All accommodations are for room and board
Rates, $260 per semester.
Payable quarterly or in a lump sum.
, Application and contract for mi are available at the University
Housing Office, Administration Building, Room 209.
Complete information is included on the contract form, or
call the Residence Halls Phone, 2-7651.
SPECIAL NOTICE: GRADUATE STUDENTS
Graduate students will le accepted in the Residence Halls beginning thl
fall. If enough graduate students sign contracts, one entire section of the
Residence Halls will be 6et aside for graduate students.
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