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Vol. 49 No. 87 LINCOLN 8, NEBRASKA Tuesday, February 15, 1949
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AWFUL SIGH O's madly celebrate their winning first place honors
at the Penny Pinching Party.
Awful Sighs Garner
Penny Prize honors
Sex and gambling ran rampant
at the Penny Pinching Party Sat
urday. Females in scanty dress
(and even less) cavorted through
out Grunt Memorial Hall from 2
to 4:30. At the same time, shady
characters lured the farm boys
into their gambling dens.
Horse racing, string pulling,
and dart throwing enticed inno
cent spectators. Suspiciously few
prizes were awarded for these
sports. (Ed Grumble, self-appointed
BMOC, is going to investigate
the situation.)
A committee of facility judges
Sat, aloof from it all, in balcony
seats, smiling at the innocent
rompings of the lads and lassies.
Winners of the sextival were
announced by the facility com
mittee immediately after the
Penny Pinching Party. They
were: first place, Awful Sigh O;
second place, AOPots; and third
place, Grabba Grabba Gamma.
(The fact that the AOPots also
won second place last year has
no connection with the fact that
the presidents of Big Sissies have
been AOPots for the past two
years. Ed Grumble, self-appointed
BMOC is going to investigate
the situation.)
AUF Thief
Disclosed
At a recent meeting of the
CORNHUSKER Investigating
Commiteee, it was found that
Dad Runderson, head solicitor
for the Ali University Fund, had
absconded with
the total re
ceipts for the
AUF, which
amounted to
$10.37. After a
hurried inven
tory by Piggie
Laurie, p r e si
dent, motor
boat, Stoogent
Selectory e d i
tor, and anti
girls' fraction
Runderson leader, it was
found that he had cleaned out the
treasury.
"'Yhen our roving reporter found
Dead, sitting alone in a corner of
the Crib, counting his loot, his
only comment was, "I'd a swiped
Piggie, too, but I couldn't carry
her."
He appeared quite calm as he
v &
AX
O St. Gang
Sits On 50
SEATING in the football sta
dium for the '49 season was out
lined in a plan submitted by
A. J. Spew to the Stoogent Coun
cil at their Wednesday night sub
rosa meeting.
The plan calls for seating 9,000
students in the card section of
the East Stadium. Spew whisp
ered, "It will call for a bit of
crowding, but I am sure the stu
dents won't mind. Of course all
seats from the 45-yard-line to
the 45-yard line are reserved) for
prominent O street personal."
The Stoogent Council ap
proved the seating arrangement
after securing 50-yard line seats
for all members.
chewed and smoked, rapidly go
ing through two cartons of Ches
terfields. Low Gisher, head of campus
Campfire Girls, called an emer
gency meeting of all AUF work
ers to make up the deficit. Every
one contributed things they
couldn't use and a rummage sale
was held. Friday, with Prof. Ain't
acting as auctioneer.
Piffel Announces
Neiv Regulations
Crar.k Piffel, prominent mem
ber of Out House fraternity, an
nounced that there would be a
collection box placed at all sports
events held in the Mausoleum.
Spectators will be asked to de
posit all cigarette butts before
entering. Any person caught not
smoking Chesterfields, will have
his hand spanked, and will be
sent to A. J. Spew's office for
punishment. (It will cost you.)
Twenty Listed
In TNP Finals
Finalists for Typical Nebraska
Pig and the skirts which will be
presented at Co-ed Fillies were
announced today by Jan Struttin,
Co-ed Fillies chairman.
The TNP finalists are:
Marsha Adumba, Surely Ailing, Snoozln
Alan, Lee Bust, Mardelle Bust, Jan Hock
ran, Lean Kkwall, Audrey Flub, Batty
Grin, Glnney Coach, Madame Gaines. Jame
McCraig. Loise Pawstun, Nancy Garter,
Sleczy Reed, Katty Sniper, Marka Tom
sen, Marylynn Webb, Jean Weeage and
Gwen Monsoon.
The finalists were selected by
some devious method which will
be investigated later by the Stoo
gent Council. The finalist will also
model sprung fashions at the Fil
lies. Putty Guwin will act as
"damn fashion."
The Typical Nebraska Pig will
be selected from this sorry group
on Feb. 15, at 7:30 p. m. in Room
313 of the Onion. Candidates
should wear clothes.
Gather your kisses while you
may, for time brings only sor
row; The girls who are so free
today, are chaperones tomorrow.
Aeftioisis (Probed
The tide has finally turned : According to special agent
Dean Harpey, the UN detective and accounting agency,
the Stoogent Council is to be investigated this week. A
special board made up of representatives from the Tin
Soldiers club, the Alaska book store and other such il
lustrious business establishments, the Board of Recents,
and the Junior Detective agency
Ball Made
v (Blaze
A blaze of undetermined origin
developed in the Stoodent Onion
Bawlroom Saturday evening dur
ing the Inter-maternity Bawl.
Damage was slight, although
many people became excited and
frustrated. The wiring above the
stage was burned and the Onion
was left without lights for a pe
riod of three hours. During this
time mush was accomplished.
The Lincoln fire department
was called to the scene of the
holocast but arrived after the
flames had been extinguished.
We have interviewed several of
the attending couples since the
bawl. Miss Genene Twitchell, stu
dent girdle club, screamed, "Wat
a place for a Chesterfield sign."
Miriam Crick, A. W. O. L. prexy,
added, "I just couldn't tell one
girl from another, so there will
be no trouble from this. How
ever, someone will pay. The A. W.
O. L. board is investigating."
Form Ledger, Insence prexy,
stated, "I didn't know the lights
went out in the rest of the build
ing. I was in the game room."
Dead Runderson denied rumors
that he was soliciting during the
darkout, "It was all for the good
of old AUF."
Director of the Onion, Dwayne
Rake, reported that everything
was being done to prevent a re
occurrence of the darkout at the
Junior-Seenyer Prom, which has
had a good rise in ticket sales
since the Bawl.
of the Law College will rack the
council members up one parking
area and down the other.
Comments' by members of the
junior Senate committee were as
follows: Dick Noisier, "I will not
have my picture taken; besides I
thought of this investigation angle
anyway." G. Charles Tones yelled
from the gutter, "They'll never
catch me, I'm an athletite! I
play in all the Chess tournaments
in Grunt Memorial. One of the
weaker representatives (It was
hard to find one that was weaker),
Lousey Dillpickle uttered this
typical remark, "Oh! an investi
gation, I must run home and get
J. M. Relick, my lawyer and
trusted leaflet spreader."
When President Pale Doll was
finally found under a pile of
baby rattles, books and valuable
finals he had this remark to make:
"Gad! they can't do it, we haven't
passed on their constitution."
Members of the investigating
committee had the following com
ments; the Intelligence member of
the Tin Soldiers said, "Daaa, we'll
make them dance to our price."
Johnny Short stated, "They
haven't any more chance than
they have in my store. We have
everything in the book on them."
Follow this publication for all
the latest information concerning
this revelation of the true work
ings of the little Hitlers. We ask
your cooperation in reading all
the following corrections of this
story for this newspaper can not
be expected to get the facts
straight the first time the sec
ond or third for that matter. We
arc in such a dither because we
are under investigation too by
the publishers of Forever Umber.
Webb
Elected
Marylynn
ueen by Relatives, Friends
Miss Marylynn Webb was elect
ed by a vote of her relatives and
close friends to rain as queen over
the Inter-maternity Bawl Satur
day night at the Onion.
The last resorts of the Inter
maternity Sweathard indurance
test were announced by Djrt
Walty Saturday night. Condemned
to be finalists were Dona Slobber,
AOPot; Hairy Su Neherland, Dee
Gee; Marylynn Webb, Gamma
Flip; Stuffed Oliveman, Awful
Sigh; Icey Sno Berg, Kat House:
Nancy Prayer, Grabba (I repeat)
Grabba Gamma.
Names of the finalists were
drawn out of an old diaper by the
pin and minor changes committee
of the Inter-maternity council
Monday at dusk. The victims were
selected on the bias of money,
social attachments, slouch and
quality of clothes.
The rat race, a formal affair
that means clothes, lasted from
nine to twelve as fur as Dean
Midne Swenson was concerned.
After that the place dropped all I
K
t Jr V Y
MARYLYNN WEBB, elected
Sweetheard of Inter-maternity
Bawl.
THIS ISSUE OF THE DAILY BLUNDER
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
TKI
formality and it was a guaranteed
success. The chosen one was pre
sented with a certificate entitling
"the barer to one year's service
from the U-reeka diaper laundry."
Eddie Had-it and his Omaha
Oboe Operators furnished the
background confusion for the
cat's-astrophe. Injections of adrc
neline were given on the third
floor balcony and the bawl-room
was decorated with war trophies
from the various clubs on the
campus.
Tickets were sold in every
Inter-maternity Ward on campus.
The Inter-maternity Council re
quests that you do not tell the
ticket price because the" council is
already under investigation.
Your campus Chesterfield rep
resentatives are Ted Gundorson,
Genene Mitchell, and Roger
Moore.
"That's the guy
for," muttered the
farmer crossed the
I'm laying
hen as the
yard.
NOTICE!!
U. of N. Charter
Day
TODAY
if 11 o'clock Classes Dismissed
Convocation 11 O'clock
IN COLISEUM
The Rag: Staff
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