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THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
Thursday, April 24, 1947
Expose of Collegians' Sport
Or, "How to Play Bridge"
BY DON "ELY" SHEPHERD.
Hoot Mon Laddie! You say you
don't know how to play bridge?
Well every loyal collegiate must
know how to play bridge so you
just sit right down and listen to
old Prof. Shepherd's Bridge 127,
section XIIVQ class! It s really a
very simple game, but even your
best friendsirill tell you that the
only way to learn how to play is
to play a few hands. So you sit
let s see, yah, you can be South
(Ely and I always use the compass
in our articles) and I will be your
partner, North. East and West
are our opponents and the twain
shall meet only under the table.
I will deal. Dealing is a com
paratively simple process; first I
mess the cards up a little (this is
known as "shuffling") and then I
hand them to West who cuts the
deck and looks deftly at the bot
tom card. (This is a must when
you cut the cards!) Then I deal
the cards, giving each player one
apiece until I run out. Now, I, be
ing the dealer, bid, usually after
looking at my cards but not neces
sarily so. I bid one no-trump.
Now this means I either have
everything or nothing or it can
mean that no matter what anyone
else names trumD I won't have
any, thus explaining the "no
trump."
Double.
tast bids next and says
'"double!" This is uncalled for and
is an indication that East is a wise
guy who is trying to confuse ev
erybody and at the same time con
vey to me that I am a lead-head
and should drop dead or at least
keep my big mouth shut; then too
it can mean that he has even less
than I do and thinks I am a lousy
dealer. I should perhaps tell you
at this point that whenever you
say "double", the word should be
accompanied by a nasty sneer in
the direction of the opponent, and
in case you should have the oppor
tunity to say "re-double you
should first laugh right out loud.
say "re-double" with an air of
mixed triumph and utter indifier
ence, and then give your oppon
ents a sneer which makes theirs
look like a greeting from old St.
rick himself.
Pay Attention.
Getting back to the game at
hand. East has just said "double",
South, that's you, is new at the
game, and naturally it takes a
little time for you to decide. So,
while you plan your proper bid,
East mutters (loud enough for his
partner to hear of course) that he
should have bid two hearts but
it's too late now. Now South
"Who's South?" That's you, ya
meathead! Pay attention! To
continue; South bids two dia
monds. This means of course
that he has two diamonds, very
simple.
What dya mean WHAT two dia
monds? Any two, it doesn't
make any difference! Now it's
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FRIDAY, APR. 25
COLLEGE
NIGHT
mfm
man, Wi-wv
BOB LIPKA
and his orchestra
Dancing 9 until 12
Couples Only
Adm. 83c each plus tax
West's turn to bid; he says, "I
should have stayed home", but
then remembers what East had
muttered and says two hearts
1 which means that East has two
hearts, see how simple it is?
Whadya mean how did he know
East had two hearts? East SAID
he had two hearts! Why don't
cha listen to the conversation?
Now it's my turn again. I re
view your two diamond bid, find
that I don't have any diamonds,
mutter something about "guys
who can't play bridge make me
sick," glare at you, and pass.
Screwball Laugh.
East laughs like a screwball,
mutters "Keep going partner, I
got 'em," to West and passes. It's
your turn again and you say three
hearts very casually. At this
point I jump up, tear my hair and
yell, "You bonehead! West bid
hearts! If you got hearts double
him!" I am a big strong brute so
you just tremble and say "Double"
very meekly. West starts to say
somthing but I stop him. You
forgot to sneer!
Boy, are you dumb! You sneer
at West and he bids seven hearts.
At this point I jump up and laugh
like mad, run around the room for
ten minutes, and whisper "pass"
as I collapse in my chair sobbing
with joy. By this time East is
thoroughly confused and passes
without further ado. You snicker
and double again sneering prop
erly. West, obviously a maniac,
laughs, re-doubles, and sneers (all
in the proper order and very well
done as he is an experienced
player) we all pass out of courtesy
and West lays down thirteen
hearts and runs to phone Bob Rip
ley. East drops dead of heart
failure.
I grab your cards and yell,
"Those aren't hearts! Hearts are
red!" Then I strangle you and
jump out of the window. See
what you did? Boy, are you dense!
In the future you stick to playing
Old Maid and leave us experts
alone. Oh bruther! Have you
got nerve, wasting my time like
this. If it wasn't for guys like you
I could go to Poli-Sci classes and
learn to be President or something!
Ivy Day . . .
(Continued from Page 1).
and two senior attendants, and
the Maid of oHnor are presented
following the ivy and daisy chains.
The May Queen reigns over the
ceremonies of the day.
Ivy Day orator is chosen at
spring elections and the poet is
selected by virtue of his original
poem submitted to a committee
of judges from the faculty of the
English department.
Council ...
(Continued from Page 1).
each of the other ten will par
ticipate. Since the NCC cannot assume
the financial responsibility for
sending these delegates, the par
ticipating students and or their re
spective student bodies must bear
expenses. Tentative estimates
place expenses between 5750 and
$1,000 round trip from New York,
travel expense to and from New
York City being in addition to
this figure.
All LSA members Interested in
attending Camp Brewster in
Omaha, May 24, may sign up in
the LSA office, 101 Temple, any
afternoon this week.
BULLETIN
IVY DAY SING HEADS.
There will be a meeting for all
Ivy Day sins directors of the
girls' organized houses, Thursday,
April 24, at 4:30 p. m.. In Ellen
Smith halt If the director can
not be there, a substitute must
be present, and Jane McArthur,
Ivy Day Sing chairman, should
be notified.
KOSMET KLl'B
There will be a meeting of all
active Kosmet Klub members in
room 307 of the Union Friday
at 5 p. m., Van Westover, busi
ness manager, announced today.
Free Variety Show
Son in llonio liny Millnntl
E Cohort CuitiniiiigK
"EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT NIGHT'
8:00 p. m., Sunday, April 27
Ag Union College Activities Bldg.
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ALIVAYS DETTER... BETTER AIL WAYS
