Tuesday, April 1. TQd7
Page 2
COMMENT
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
EDITORIAL
Jut (Daily. TkJbActAkcuv
1
v Member
Intercollegiate Press
rOKTI-FETTB TEAK
Subscription rate art 160 per semester. $2.00 per Mineitw rn a Had, Of
2.00 for the college year. W OO mailed. Single copy 6c. Published dally during
the school year except Mondays and Saturdays, vacations and examination
periods, by the students of the University of Nebraska under the supervision
f the Publication Board. Entered as Second Class Matter at the Post Ciflce
tn Lincoln, Nebraska, under Act of Congress, March S, 1879, and at special
rate of postage provided for In section 1103. act of October 2, 1817, authorized
September SO. 1022.
The Dally Nebraskan Is published by the students of the rnlverslry of NrbraRk as
M rxprrwion of student news and opinion only. According; lo article II of the Hy l-awt
governing student publications and admlnlntrrrd by the Board of I'ubllcatlons: It Is
the declared policy of the Hoard that publications under Its Jurlndlrtlon shall be free
from editorial censorship on the part of the Hoard, or on the part of any member of
the faculty of the university; but members of the Maff of The Ually Nebraska are per
sonally responsible for what they say or do or cause to be printed." ... .
Ed. Note: The opinions expressed by columnists In The Dally Nebraska! do
at necessarily represent those I the University or The Daily Nebraskan.)
Snooper . Grashes
Show (Rehearsal
BY NORM l.EC.ER,
(News Kdttor).
Strains of a beautiful ballad,
"It's hell without the boys!", sung
by melodious, feminine voices,
floated through the transom above
the doorway to the Studio Theatre,
and, having a cat-fate-defying
curiosity, we opened the door and
peered in.
Expecting to see a group of sad,
forlorn, and man-less coeds, we
were perplexed to see nothing but
men. There was Jack Carson,
strolling back and forth upon the
tage, with not even a silk hat out
of which to pull a rabbit. Could
this be? Carson turning strictly
thespian? No, from his coat pocket
he took a deck of cards and in no
time at all gave evidence that the
prologue to "Aksarben Nights,
the Kosmet Klub spring review,
would be strictly Carson. But be
not fooled by thinking that Car
son's appearance to give the pro
logue will be his last. Hardly a
scene goes by that. "Newsie,"
(that's right, Carson), shows up,
whether it be in the midst of a
secret fraternity meeting or on
the shores of Catalina, thoroughly
drenched after his long swim from
L. A. to try to sell his newspapers.
- Chi Iota Omega fraternity
(commonly known as the CIO) on
the Aksarben U. campus has its
troubles, too. Seems as if one of
its returning vets (a navy man
who participated in one of the is
land invasions Catalina) while
still on the island wrote a letter
back to the boys which disap
proved of some of the aspects of
Aksarben U. campus life. CIO
is given to debate shall we or
shall we not claim Horace Biskett
(Bruce Coffman) as a brother
when he returns?
Becoming interested in the
thickening plot, we were some
what perturbed when Max Whit
taker, who is directing the show,
called for the rehearsal of another
scene. (Just because we haven't
bought our ticket yet . . . we are
going to, but for present we just
like to play hide-and-seek with
the eager KK workers.) Next
thing we knew a secret and im
portant fraternity meeting was in
session, discussing many grave
questions, one of which might be,
"But do we have to have chaper
ones at our spring, outdoor party
(in the words of the censor) with
the Kappas?"
That's the scene an orderly
fraternity meeting with the presi
dent (John Andresen) keeping
things under control, mug in one
hand and a .45 in the other.
As we were being escorted to
the door after the discovery had
been made that we were not a
member of the pony chorus, we
heard the shrill and gleeful voices
of two Aksarben U. coeds, Flora
and Tallulah (who, in the actual
production, may look a bit like
Jerry Johnston and Dick Mock),
welcoming their long-gone-but-now-returned
pinmates, steadies,
and what-have-you at the railway
station.
Well, we're ready to give in.
we're tired of playing hide-and-
seek, and what's more we will buy
a ticket because we want to.
Dauntless Daily Editor Foils
Administration: Lifts Files
Due to the quicksilver thinking
of a Daily Nebraskan editor, a
secret file of the department of
English which was "under no cir
cumstances to be made public un
til 1950," can be revealed today
to the student body.
Contents of the Blue Paper,
which was labelled "Top Secret,"
are so explosive that their pub
lication in full might result in
suspension of the Daily or expul
sion of its editors from school.
Nonetheless it is felt that its con
tents so directly affect the Uni
versity itself that the Daily is
under moral obligation to report
them.
Not That.
Following a lengthy prologue
in which the instructors making
the report swear their findings
to secrecy ("our lips are sealed"),
the Blue Paper states boldly
"Twenty-five percent of the Uni
versity of ' Nebraska entering
freshmen students possess about
as much knowledge of the Eng
lish language as the average fifth
or sixth grade public school
pupiL"
Again quoting the Blue Paper,
"The figure is based on a study of
entering students for the past de
cade made by the English depart
ment, which has revealed 45 per
cent of first year students pre
pared to take only courses in high
school grammar."
We're All Morons.
"To stem a steady decline in
the use of our language," the Blue
Paper continues, "The University
has devised a new laboratory
system of teaching English to the
lowest ranking bracket of stu
dentsthe 25 percent who spell
poorly, have a small vocabulary
and possess slight knowledge of
the simple sentence.
Publication of further findings
of the survey cannot be made to
day, but the Blue Paper did im
plicate Nebraska high school
teachers as responsible. They are
charged with being "poorly quali
fied." But How Come?
How the report fell into the
hands of the Daily Nebraskan
mu.1 remain secret, but it can be
revealed that an editor, while at
the English department's office
perusing illuminated manuscripts
of the thirteenth century, caught
sight of the report, lying un
guarded, on the desk of the secre
tary. Asking the secretary to
find him a certain edition of Ra
balais, the- editor beaned her with
an Unabridged and fled the build
ing with the Blue Paper.
It has since been returned to
Dr. Frantz.
Education Majors
Will Hear Paine
At Annual Dinner
Prospective teachers majoring
in Agriculture and Home Econo
mics will be guests of the Voca
tional Education department at a
banquet Wednesday, April 2 at
6:30 p. m. in the Student Union.
Sponsored annually by the Vo
cational Education department,
the banquet is open to Junior and
Senior students only.
Bayard Paine, Nebraska su
preme Court Justice, will be fea
tured speaker. His speech will be
entitled, "Skin Games.
Kcamer Ckillesas, April Fool!
UBIDILILETITO
IVTERFRATERNITY COUNCIL.
Members of the Interfraternity
Council will meet tonight to dis,
cuss plans for contesting today'
election and are reminded to
TNE and RED DOTS.
Members of TNE will hold a
meetine with prospective mem
bers of Red Dots to discuss plans
for re-organization at o p. m. to
dav in the Union. Dean T. J
Thomnsen and Dean Marjorie
Johnston will address the group
on the benefits of these societies
TESTS.
Announcing cancellation of
plans for six weeks exams, the
Faculty Senate has started work
on a new svstem of testing stu
dents. Any complaints on the
abolishment or tests may De
turned in to Chancellor Gustav
son's office before 6 a. m. today.
STUDENT FEDERALISTS.
Student Federalists will meet at
7 p. m. tonight to hear an address
by Norman Thomas on the "Ben
efits of the Dictatorship of the
Proletariat." A discussion of the
policy of the organization will fol
low the speech.
CORN COBS.
All Corn Cob workers are in
vited to an all-day picnic begin
ning at 9 a. m. today, sponsored
by the Tassels. Transportation
will be provided by the WAA
Bicycle Club. '
INNOCENTS.
Innocents will meet tonight at
12:23 to cast final votes on the
Mortar Boards who will be se
lected on Ivy Day, according to
Dr. William Thornberg, president.
KOSMET KLUB.
There will be no Kosmet Klub
rehearsal tonight as all members
are working on their annual
spring picnic plans.
Y.M.C.A.
Y. M. C. A. members are re
quested to attend the all-membership
meeting tonight. Suggestions
for a new financial enterprise to
replace the funds formerly de
rived from the Student Directory
will be accepted.
STUDENT COUNCIL.
In order to prevent 72 of the 78
candidates for Council positions
from withdrawing, Helen Laird
has issued the statement that in
telligence tests will positively not
be required for Council members
or faculty advisors.
ENGINEERS. I
Students of Surveying 134 are
requested to meet at Carrie Bell
Kaymond hall at 7:30 tonight. Ex
tensive surveying projects have
been planned.
VETERANS ORGANIZATION
All members of the Veterans
Organization are to meet at the
Union at noon today, equipped
with brick bats and old copies of
the Daily Nebraskan, prepared to
march on the state capitol to re
move the sore from the top of that
building, since bronze has been
proclaimed by the organization
as an undemocratic color.
AWS.
AWS Board has scheduled a
meeting at 4 p. m. today of all
women students at Ellen Smith to
adopt new rulings. These rulings
include 7 o clocks for all wompn
on weekends, except members of
the AWS Board, who will have
automatic all-nights.
PORRIGE CLUB.
Members of Porriee Club ar
asked to assemble outside the
uampuslme tonight with bowls
and spoons. Professor Ceres
Buckwheat will address members
on "The Grains and Their Nu
tritive Values." Gruel will be
served.
NAME HILL.
Jack Hill has been named ram-
pus representative of th SmiH
and Viceroys cigarette companies
it was learned todav. He will
also assume editorship of the
weea. trade journal of the associ
ated tobacco companies' campus
representatives in America.
ADOPTS CONSTITUTION.
Student Constitut i o n a 1 i s t s
adopted a constitution for April
1947 at a regular Darhamentarv
session last night Eugene Bur
mese, district representative.
pointed out flaws in the March
constitution and said "We can
only hope thru diligent persever
ance and communal action to af
fect more perfect constitutions."
No bombs were reported thrown
at the stormy debate session
wtich preceded adoption. , , ,
G. Cronquist
Will Present
Slide Show
Gustaf W. Cronquist, master of
Swedish, color photography and
former resident of the Swedish
Photographic society, will deliver
an illustrated lecture, "Sweden in
Color Photography," in the Union
ballroom tonight at 7:30 at a
university convocation open to
students, faculty members, and
Lincoln residents.
Mr. Cronauist. who has taken
more than 40,000 color photos
since nis urst experiments in iwuo
with the Lumiere's color plates,
has brought 11.000 color slides for
showing in the United States.
The colored pictures will show
views of the mountain of Lap
land nortraits of miners, herds
of reindeer and iron mines at
night. Winter scenes photographed
in Stockholm, glimpses from -the
Archipelago and views of the
Gothenburg harbor will also be
included in the lecture.
UN Debaters
Win Honors
At Arkansas
University debate teams won
top honors in the Missouri Valley
Forensic League's annual confer
ence held last week end at the
University of Arkansas, Coach
Donald Olson announced Monday.
Two Nebraska teams won nine
of ten debates to place first ahead
of Arkansas which won eight of
ten. Leo Ramer and Jack Solo
mon won four of five contests
to tie with Washington University
of St. Louis for first place among
affirmative teams. Mary Dye and
Helen Plasters won five of five
debates to tie for first place
among negative teams with Kan
sas U. and Arkansas.
Ramer and Miss Plasters won
top ranking as the best debaters
of the conference. Ted Sorensen
placed second in both oratory and
extemporaneous speaking.
U Hall Finally
Gives Up Ghost
In Loud Crash
A volunteer crew of W'.A
workers and Innocents continued
to search thru the rubble of Uni
versity hall for the bodies of
three journalism students lost in
the basement when the building
one of the prides of the campus'
collapsed yesterday. '
Renercussions were immediate
ly fell in the state unicameral
when Sen, Fred Mueller branded
the collapse a "plot to make the
1945-46 legislature look bad." Don
Kline was not on hand to answer
this comment.
An investiga ting committee
made up of Prof. L. B. Smith,
L. C. Wimberly and L. D. Plotz
announced that they could find no
logical reason for the "unlooked
for collapse" with the possible ex
ception of an overloaded book
shelf in Prof. J.- E. A. Alexis' of
fice. Plans are being carried forward
at the present time to preserve
the remains of the building and
rebuild it, using whatever happens
to, be lying around. When asked
if this had not been the original
procedure in the building of Uni
versity hall. Building Superinten
dent Seaton declined comment.
Ofifcial work from the faculty
senate reports that a heated de
bate is underway on the subject
of the new "university landmark."
With the sudden demise of Uni
versity hall, the senate has di
vided into two armed camps, one
group holding out for Grant
Memorial and the other grimly
claiming that A. J. Lewandowski's
office should receive the title of
"University landmark."
j Oassifiedj
WANTED Ride to Chicago or northern n
linois, Indiana or Ohio for two pat
ameers Friday, April 4. Please call
Hank Anderson, 2-7831, after Sunday
evenfnff.
LOSXj-In or near library, Sheaffer pen
cil, silver cap and gray-black barrel.
Call 2-5560. Reward.
LOST In Social Sciences building blue
Parker "51" with silver top. Joe Shulti,
2-7926.
BICYCLE renters wanted. Tandems or
singles. Phone 5-9129. 25th & N Street.
"Ted's Rent a Bike."
"Why's everybody running?"
"Ah, I just tipped 'erroff that it's not too late
to buy their Easter Clothes at SIMONS!"
