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THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
Friday, April 26, 1946
Cribology Offers No Crcdits
Not in Classrooms, That Is!!
BY JEANNE KERRIGAN.
Have you heard of the new,
super-duper, not to be equaled,
course offered by the university
department of Cocaphoshamer?
don't know why someone didn't
think of it before. Of course,
no credits may be earned through
the taking of this course, but the
rare experiences and exalted
knowledge which may be gained
make the thing invaluable. In
case you haven't guessed, I am
speaking of Cribology.
Since I know that a good many
of you nitwits, I mean students,
are already enrolled in this ex
clusive course, I don't need to
tell you about it... you already
tare thoroughly acquainted with
its merits. However, for you
poor unfortunates who know
nothing about it and always go
home to study right after class
as all good little students should,
I have a little advice. Honestly,
your profs don't expect you to
study anyway when there is
such an interesting lab you can
attend and so much important re
search you can do.
Lounge Lizard.
Of course, I am not advocating
that you become a lounge lizard
...that is, one who never goes
home, but pitches a tent in the
lobby of the illustrious union.
But,, believe me, to be regarded
as a duly initiated member of
the famed Criboholic club is in
deed a great honor not to be ig
nored. Naturally, however, even
this can be carried to extremes
either way.
There are three types of crib
ology majors. One is the meek,
mild individual who never really
enjoys himself. He deigns to enter
the club's headquarters only when
he has a definite and specific er
rand to perform or some draytic
and dreadfully important business
to attend to. He turns up his nose
at idle chatter and goes busily on
his unmerry way.
Second Type.
The second type is perhaps the
best off of the three. He only
spend? three-fourths of his life in
the Union. He considers this
science a most important part of
his schedule, but does his heavy
study (twenty-six minutes a
day) in the library that is, every
day but Sunday, Monday, Tues
day, Friday or Saturday. When
ever be has a date, he drags her
to Cribology lecture.
The third type is an efferves
cent character. You never come
into lab and find him not there
bubbling over with enthusiasm
and zest for his work. He doesn't
even try to think up any kind
of an excuse for his presence,
he's just there a big wheel. He
has very cagily arranged his
schedule so that he has no other
classes that he positively has to
attend. He's the one that spreads
the word when a local casanova
sails into the Crib six times in
one afternoon, with a different
girl each' time.
Fry-Day Comes Seven Days
A Week; Ask Charred Coeds
BY DINA BUCKINGHAM.
This is an article in honor of
Friday, spelled Fry-day (and
do.i't think I'm not), not because
I'm advocating basic English, but
because it's the sad truth. You
see, for me, every day is Fry-day
now, and if you think that the
truth hurts, try a sunburn!
Not only that, but I'm tired of
having to point out to motorists
that the traffic lights are in the
middle of the intersection every
time I stand on a corner.
My only consolation is that I'm
not alone in my rosy glow. The
whole campus has started sun
worshipping in earnest, and every
day class schedules from 11-2 are
mislaid ns eager students (oh you
Taus!) bake in the midday sun.
But watch them come out of the
oven . . .
The "It's So Simple" type exists
with a creamy tan at once. You
immediately suspect Indian blood,
until you see her grades in Amer
ican history. This species is
characterized by a fiendish gleam
in the eye, and the tendency to
run up to every friend they ever
had (past tense is perfectly cor
rect in this case) and start com
paring inner elbows . . . elbows
that is. With this, the ex-friend,
now feeling like a character out
of "Elsie Dinsmore," slinks off,
determined to get revenge or a
sunburn.
Then there's the "Burn 'Em in
Oil" type. This fad, originated by
Ali Baba for the benefit of a few
choice friends, consists of slapping
on all of the baby oil they can
find and sitting out in the sun
until they glisten like a cheap
Christmas card. The devotees of
this method guarantee that you
should find a tan after scrap
ing off the one inch layer of oil
and the two inch layer of debris
which have collected meanwhile.
However, this "Oily Ollie" va
riety (like a Kremel ad yet!)
usually acquires a quick burn
which may or may not turn into
a tan. If it does not, she tosses
the baby oil down the drain and
becomes the third type. ,
The third type is the "I Should
Care" species. She races out into
the sun flexing her upper arms
(well, we can't all be strong!)
and scorning all lotions throws
herself down on her respective
yard, roof or fire escape. After
a two hour sunning, she hauls
in her parboiled posterior, look
ing like the hui jry answer to
the meat shortage and doomed to
a week of Shestak's "That blush
is lush, thrush!" This species is
also characterized by a lengthy
stay in bed.
The only solution is to buy
yourself a pair of dark glasses
and feel disguised like Flamin'
Mamie maybe. And next time
some one calls "Hay Pink-aaay!",
don't be afraid to turn around
I'll be looking too!
DEADLINES
a
1
FOR SENIOR ANNOUNCEMENTS
SATURDAY, APRIL 27, 1946
ORDER IMMEDIATELY iM'".
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