Friday, December 7, 1945
Snipe Huntin'
with
JIDCE MASON
Senator Wherry is being dit-
ficult again; Nebraska professors
are standing In dire fear of losing
their jobs if they air their con
victions; the World Herald is still
blowing off with its Hearst col
Omnists; the registrar's office has
released organizations' scholastic
Standings in Egyptian hierogly'
phics once more (see page one)
capital is making profound state
ments to labor, like "Go to hell!"
the time is ripe for someone to
Jump off the 14th floor of the
Capitol building again.
After careful consideration we
decided on another form of escap
Ism Thome Smith's book, "Skin
and Bones." Don't be fooled by
the bombastic, revolutionary out
burst of pent-up cynicism which
has been unfolded anxiety over
other folk's troubles has a way
of expending itself early. Like
our readers, we are much more
interested in well, "Skin and
Bones" for instance.
From the effects of this book,
our delightful imagination ran
rampant yesterday afternoon and
we pictured ourself able to turn
Into a skeleton at will, like Quin
tus Bland. So, our advenutres
began:
III Ta Dean!
My first visit was to the dean's
office which I entered in my or
dinary physical form. After toy
ing with the dean's temper for a
moment, parrying on the issue of
formal dinner dances, I picked
the moment in which he was exe
cuting a particularly wide yawn
to beset myself of my skin.
When he deigned to look my
way again, his gaze met the grin
ning countenance of my hollow
skull. The amazingly swift retreat
to the nearest corner would have
put General Jodl to shame. I was
reluctant to leave this terrified,
charming presence, but more ur
gent business called and I felt
disposed to answer. Arising from
my chair, I made a quick grab
for my descending skirt and
hooked it onto my left pelvis bone.
Then depositing my floating ribs
Into my coat pocket, I threw it
over my collar bones and ambled
out of the office. As the scream
ing people J passed were begin
ning to annoy me, and besides
I was" having trouble keeping my
shoe laces untangled from my
longitudinal arches, I assumed my
original whole status and headed
toward the Union.
Victim Coming Up!
Sitting down on the steps by
the entrance to the crib, I waited
for my next victim to show up.
Pretty soon, as I had expected,
this tall, dark, suave sailor that I
have been hearing so much about,
came striding leisurely down the
hall in my direction. A group of
Sheldon's feminine admirers were
awaiting his presence, providing
a most fitting atmosphere for my
performance. A sudden rattle of
bone against stone revealed that
my exterior had vanished. The
handsome sailor gave one horri
fied look and had catapaulted
down the hall and out the door
In a burst of agility which would
have flattered a cat. Things were
looking up!
Bill Ray and Dallas Cotton,
lease-holders of the large north
east booth in the crib, came walk
ing out. I sat there, grinning
ludicrously at them through my
clicking teeth, waiting to be no
ticed. Bill Ray and Dallas Cotton,
lease-holders, walked by me with
out a sideward glance, engrossed
In their darn discussion. Crest
fallen at this inconsiderate spurn
ing of my attentions, I removed
myself from the Time Murderer
I mean, the Union and prepared
for a visit to Karl Arndt's office.
Dirty Trick
Now Professor Arndt is the guy
who is always playing dirty tricks
on Professor Schramm or is it
the other way around? Well any
way, they sometimes go fishing
together and generally return
mpty handed but exceedingly
wet and in fine spirits until they
meet their wives, waiting with
mpty frying pans which HAD
been intended for the fish.
Uh, as I was saying: these two
gentlemen are one-third of the
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cigar-makers' fortune, it being
considered a rare thing indeed to
see either of them without rope's
prodigal son in his mouth.
One burning desire, which
have suppressed ever since my
more juvenile days, has been to
see the expression on a face whose
adjoining esophagus has just swal
lowed a lighted cigar. This dis
torted sense of humor of mine has
been an object of utmost anxiety
among my friends for some time.
But each dog will have his day,
tra la, and mine was here. I
peeked through the keyhole and
found, by some quirk of fortune
that both professors were there,
talking and laughing and having
a great time. Disrobing myself
to add to the grotesque effect, I
stretched out my claw-like hand
for the door knob . . .
On the brink of my greatest
triumph the bell rang! Students
jumped up, trod over my feet and
jostled out of the classroom. My
daydreaming was over for the
day!
Teachers College Student
Croup Elects Officers
Newly elected officers of the
Teachers College Student asso
ciation are Bill Swanson, presi
dent; Joy Hill, vice president, and
Doris Hoffer, secretary-treasurer.
Members of the advisory board
are Dick Miller and Marilyn
Markussen, seniors; Fred Lorenz
and Mary Jo Schmale, juniors;
and Kenneth Fletcher and Marian
McElhaney, sophomores. Publicity
director is Helen Laird.
A meeting will be held for all
members next Tuesday evening.
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THE NEBRASKAN
Jorgensen Favors World
Control of Atomic Energy
Calling the idea of the United
States keeping the atomic bomb
hidden "naive," Prof. Theodore
Jorgensen stated that it will be
developed by other nations within
two to four years. He addressed
a student convocation Wednesday
afternoon.
Professor Jorgensen, physics
professor on leave from the uni
versity, declared that world con
trol of atomic energy would mean
"complete and unhampered in
spection of all localities where any
work in nuclear energy might take
place" and a world organization
with police powers to hold unco
operative nations to their agree
ments. '
War Problem.
"Suggestions for controlling or
outlawing the atomic bomb do not
lead one to a happy frame of mind
about our prospects," he went on,
"In each of them the fundamental
problem of war still remains.
However, I believe it does us no
harm to look the facts in the face,
unpleasant as they are. If we
find we can no longer support
this sacred institution of war and
survive, we must put every ef
fort into arranging our social and
political environment so that war
is found to be unnecessary."
Reviewing six of the methods
which have been suggested for
control of the atomic bomb. Prof.
Jorgensen, who worked with Chi
cago scientists in constructing and
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new weapon, men-
tioned:
1. Declaring war on the rest
of the world and winning: world
control.
2. Cornering- the world's supply
of raw materials.
3. Keeping- in the lead in the
armament race.
4. Keeping the atomic bomb se
cret. 5. Dispersing oar cities.
6.. Establishing- world authority
to control atomic energy.
Concluding that world control
was the only way to control atomic
power, Jorgensen dismissed the
possibilities of conquering the
world, cornering world markets,
and starting another armament
race, dispersing cities or keeping
the bomb a secret.
testing the
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EDITORIAL 8TAFF
Editor .... Leslie Jean Glotfelty
Managing Editors .... Betty Loo Huston, Janet Maaoa
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Page 3
Orchesis
(Continued from Page 1.)
in blessing over that person. For
long years the Madonna has stood,
wooden and fixed.
The Juggler
In the shadows a juggler has
been watching. He creeps to her
fearfully. What gift has he to of
fer? He begins to juggle and in his
excitement doffs his cap, holding
it out to her for a penny. Realiz
ing the sacrilege, he crumples be
fore her. Then he decides that to
be forgiven he must juggle his
best. He juggles until he has no
more to give; he falls at her feet
and dies.
When the monks return, they
shrink with horror at what the
juggler has done, but as they look
the Madonna stretches her arm in
blessing. The juggler had given
the supreme gift.
Contrary to general belief, the
Great Wall of China is neither a
wall nor is it in China. It is the
popular name for the Associated
Women Students board.
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